alostbookworm

[alostbookworm]

trump is 78, putin is 72, netanyahu 75, biden 82, lukashenko 70. if you kill yourself now, you'll never see them die. keep going

[alostbookworm]

I finished Rise of the Red Blade this morning and I think I genuinely liked it, to the point that I started mentally composing essays about the main character's journey and the parallels she had with other Star Wars characters and how so much of this book supported everything I've been saying about the dark side and what it does to people, as well as unreliable narrators, and even things where I thought they might be swerving into unfair critical territory on the part of the narrative wound up ultimately being almost delivered to me on a silver platter for how I was fucking right. But I don't think I would recommend it and would even anti-rec it to fellow Jedi fans who have had their nerves scraped raw, unless you are into sharp-edged female characters as much as I am. This book is for all the fans who want a hot mess of a female character who is allowed to be cruel and mean and wrong and all up in her head and unreliable and have moments of absolute yearning that made my heart ache for her and moments of awesome and that she gets to fail and be consumed by the dark and her story is worth telling. If I can love Anakin Skywalker through his descent into the dark, I can love Iskat Akaris through her descent into the same place. This is a book about what it's like to choose the dark side, to believe she's right and that she's free and that she'll get everything she wants--except it's all just kind of nothing in the end. She believes so strongly that the Jedi wronged her, that they never cared about her, that their beliefs were empty, but she says this deep in the dark side and everything we can see outside of her perspective shows that they were trying to help her, she just isn't allowed to go around embracing anger and violence. And it's a book about how mental illness makes it hard to see things clearly. As someone who has struggled with it for my entire life, who only really began to make progress once I accepted that my brain lies to me when it tells me that my friends and family find me to be a burden and would hate me if they knew the real me--ohhhh, do I see a lot of myself in Iskat Akaris. And it's a book about how it doesn't half-ass that descent. She gets to be genuinely cruel. She gets to be genuinely whole-hearted about her beliefs in the dark side have set her free and is good. She gets to be genuinely a giant ball of uncontrolled emotional thorns that she uses to hurt herself as much as other people. This is a book that's not afraid of making its main character unlikeable and, through that, making her beloved to me. If you're not into a book with sharp edges and hissing lies about the Jedi, then skip this one, just don't even read this review, because it's not going to change your mind. But if you're like me and love drama and love when a narrative doesn't actually spell things out for you, but provides all the context you need if you actually watch what the Jedi say and do, not what Iskat says they say and do, it delivers a story that I think supports my view of the Jedi pretty well. This is a story about choosing the dark and all the darkness that comes with that. It's not nice, it's not gentle. I mean, it's still a Star Wars book, but if you like awful women getting to actually be awful in ways that you can sympathize with, the ways that male characters so often get to be, then I genuinely enjoyed this book for that.

[alostbookworm]

Xaden: So you sister was casually poisioning everyone

Brennan: *being extremly proud of her*

[alostbookworm]

Violet every time she thinks Xaden lied to her.

[alostbookworm]

"Should I get the Wingleader?"

Tairn, you are a legend

[alostbookworm]

Although I'm ok with being single, I can't wait to actually meet someone who's actually interested in me. The constant crave of wanting to talk, asking about my day, my feelings, sharing laughter & being heard is so rare nowadays. Nobody communicates anymore. Real is Rare.

[alostbookworm]

This man is absolutely smitten,only Xaden Riorson is capable of simping, giving himself a pep talk all the while schooling himself about boundaries 😭

[alostbookworm]

In love's embrace, pain finds its home,

Entwined within the heart's sacred dome.

For where love flourishes, so does pain,

A bittersweet melody, a haunting refrain.

With every beat, a pang is felt,

A reminder of the hand love's dealt.

Yet in the depths of sorrow's tide,

Love's resilience cannot be denied.

For in pain's crucible, love is refined,

A precious jewel, endlessly entwined.

So let love's agony and ecstasy blend,

For in their union, hearts learn to mend.

~ Words and Art (#2 A Collection of Poems)

[alostbookworm]

Tairn and his silver one.

[alostbookworm]

Fourth wing summed up

[alostbookworm]

“What are you wearing?” I ask Andarna, who struts out from under Tairn’s wing with her head held high, boasting a contraption that reminds me of a saddle but isn’t.

“The wingleader had it made for me. See? It hooks to Tairn’s.”

SHE'S STRUTTING SHE'S SO PROUD

[alostbookworm]

SGAEYL BONDED WITH XADEN BECAUSE HE GAVE ALL THE MARKED KIDS A CHANCE TO LIVE

TAIRN CHOSE VIOLET BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH SHE'S FRAIL SHE DEFENDED AND PROTECTED ANDARNA

No none talk to me right now I can't omg

[alostbookworm]

Im wife material btw,, if u even care

[alostbookworm]

“If you can’t figure out where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing and start walking.”

— Unknown

[alostbookworm]

i like reassurance. i like attention. i love affection. i love feeling appreciated.

[alostbookworm]

When someone said "I love you" but my best friend who passed away said " even on the darkest sky with no stars visible during the night I will be the only one and the brightest one showing you the way , so you will never feel lost again " since then i love you is just nice

[alostbookworm]

it's an art, you know. loving someone you can't have? it's an art. it's a way to convince yourself that, even if you can't confess to them, you're capable of caring enough to want to wake up in the morning. it's a testament to all of the pain you've been through. tells you that the map you've followed all your life, with all of its twists and turns and roadblocks, has lead you right where you need to be: here, alive, loving. loving. loving. and yeah, maybe you can say it to them, those three words. you can't really mean it, though, and that's what hurts, right? you can tell them, "i love you. i hope you're happy and healthy. you deserve it." you can tell them, "you're my favorite person. i love you so much." you can tell them, "you're the best friend i've ever had. i love you." no matter what, you can shower them with love. pray they understand. and if they don't? the heart beating in your chest is a consolation, isn't it?