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Gusto kong maglaho, at hindi na bumalik. Gusto kong matulog, at hindi na magising.
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//
araliya
always remember
how a plumeria blooms -
on a rainy day, they wither
with strong winds, they fall
but as the sun shines on their petals
white and yellow hues glow
even brighter than the sun
and whiter than snow
with all the uncertainties
and miseries,
be like an araliya.
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In times when you feel not good enough or when you are to almost believe you are not meant to be where you are, someone will subtly tell you otherwise. So please, hold on, little lady. Don't give up just yet.
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No one is aware
of all her sudden fetish over ropes;
or blades; or the idea of not waking up.
"You're just going through rough times"
Rough times, to me,
though
are never just.
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Ayoko nang magising. Sana di na ako magising bukas. Sana lamunin ako ng dilim sa aking panaginip, pigilan nito ang paghinga.
Ayoko nang imulat ang mga mata.
Ayoko na ng bukas.
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teacher- n. taong walang araw na hindi paos; laging kulang sa tulog; walang boyfriend.
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Darating ang isang araw, mumulat ka at hindi na makahihinga nang maluwang, sapagkat sumikip nang tuluyan ang mundong itinuring nang tahanan: kung saan komportable, malaya sa pangamba, at pagkatanga.
Darating ang isang araw, lalabas ka, kakawala, dahil kung di'y babalutin ka ng dilim, ng mga lumang pangarap na hindi naabot, mga pagkakamaling iniukit na sa iyong bawat gawa.
Darating ang isang araw, tutungo ka sa ibang mundo, sa hindi sigurado. Matatakot man, maliligaw- ngunit gagawin mo itong iyo.
Darating ang isang araw. Ang bagong mundo ring ito ay aangkinin mo.
Guro |180902| TPS



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Why didn't you wait for me? God. You really did leave us.
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Crises just keep on coming. You deal with one, there comes another more overwhelming than the last. Most leave traces on our fingers. The traces either then comes again as bigger waves coming from behind which we'll never be prepared for; or as heavy burdens we ought to live with. We have been stuck choosing between the two for so long now. Is it pride that keeps us from seeing the third option? or is it pain? Oh, universe, how foolish can we be?
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I remember having written a poem in highschool entitled inconsolable. The poem was graded a 7/10 if I recall it correctly. I did not understand then why my English teacher did not like it. She said she didn't get the poem at all. Now, I still cannot accept the 7; but I admit she's right. Being inconsolable anyway is becoming impossible to be read. You want people to understand you, but not pity you; listen to you, but not comfort you and the weird vice versa.
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Do not treat me like a princess. I am not some fragile lady who can't handle and do things well on her own. I can keep myself safe. I won't break when away. I won't cry just because I am alone. Stop worrying about me as if I can't figure things out without your help. Don't look at me with those worried eyes. I am not your a princess. I do not need your armor. I have mine.
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You are your own form. Thrive your own way, at your own pace, to your kind of beautiful. 🌱
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manifest
I will make a wonderful life for myself, even if it may mean I have to suffer today, cry myself to sleep, stumble and fail hundreds of times, or live uncomfortably. I will make a wonderful life for myself because I can't settle in a situation as ugly as this: where I can't make sense of anything that's been happening. I hope to make a beautiful life for myself. I have to. I must- whatever it takes.
180623
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