alshalyn

[alshalyn]

ok I’m curious so put in the tags what country you are from and whether or not you own/use a rice cooker

[alshalyn]

Update: I tried this using turnips in butter per the original ask, plus some leftover white wine to add some acid and a torn-up handful of fresh arugula.

I like it! It's fresh-tasting with a distinct mustardy zing. Seems like a nice thing to have on a cold Kul Tiran evening.

Do you think it would it be possible to make that Buttered Turnip Porridge the Kul Tiran innkeepers always have in stock?

You know, I actually DID try that! Turnips, as Mists of Pandaria indicates, are a bit of a divisive food, because they taste unbearably bitter to some palates. Fortunately for me, I don't have that sensitivity (but I do have the cilantro-tastes-like-soap gene. Sadness), so I can tell you that turnips have an earthy, sweet taste with a slight radishy spiciness, and while my experiments weren't anything I would have recommended to a Warchefs reader, they weren't at all unpleasant. Still, I'm going to impart a very simple soup recipe here, that I'm sure can be applied to turnips if you'd ever like to try it out and should somewhat approximate the dish in-game. I've made this with other vegetables like carrots and mushrooms and potatoes, and it's very satisfying.

-- In a saucepan, fry some chopped onion in butter or oil until the onion turns slightly translucent. Throw in some aromatic spices of choice (black pepper, crushed red pepper, garlic) if you like. Once you're there, add your chopped vegetables of choice and saute them a little along with the onion to cook them partway, and then sprinkle over some kosher salt, and pour in water or soup stock to cover the vegetables and bring to a boil.

Once it boils, lower to a simmer and cook until the vegetables are soft enough to pierce easily with a fork, then turn off the heat and either puree in batches in a blender, OR use an immersion blender in the saucepan itself. If you like some texture in your soup, reserve some of the cooked vegetables and onions while you blend the rest and then add them again. Taste your soup, season to your liking with salt, and add a bit of complementary acid to brighten the flavor (lemon or lime juice, or vinegar).

This is a really great way to use up produce, and if you add a bit of cream near the end, you can serve it as a first course at a nice party and no one will ever know that it took nearly no effort to make!

[alshalyn]

From what I’ve gathered from my US friends, eggs have become hard to find and are super expensive. Likewise, it’s been hard to get your hands on eggs over here too, and I’ve only been able to get imported ones thus far. This is of course pretty frustrating for someone who uses eggs in cooking frequently.

If you’re struggling to afford eggs, and you live in areas where people keep chickens, your first point of call should be to chicken owners. You will be able to grab fresh eggs, generally at a cheaper price than supermarkets, and support local business too!

If you don’t have access to this, you can also use plant substitutes in your cooking. This is particularly useful for vegans and those with egg allergies too. I found this table, which will hopefully help you out with using egg substitutes in your cooking. ~Tal

[alshalyn]

Wait, I've heard of this!

Now, I grant that Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie) is a patchy source of historical resource at best, but one of the things she DID write really well is the food, to the point that someone wrote a wholeass cookbook based on the descriptions, and ginger-water was one of them!

It was sort of a precursor to ginger ale (water, vinegar, sugar, and powdered ginger), and was often made for farmworkers, since drinking normal water after you've been laboring in the heat all day can make you sick. The ginger helps calm your stomach, and I initially thought the vinegar was just for flavoring, but if the above post is any indication, it may help your body absorb the water more readily too. Pretty cool.

actually the craziest impact animorphs has had on me is that i never really got an urge to eat cinnamon buns from reading them BUT the phrase "the refreshing beverage known as vinegar" has forced its way into my head every other week for years to try and convince me it would be a good idea to chug a whole glass of it

[alshalyn]

[alshalyn]

So, I riffed off this post (plus incorporated tips from a few other recipes) to make mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, and they were a huge hit. Here are my notes:

Slice your potatoes thinly. It increases the surface area and helps them cook faster.

Keep the water level a little below the top of your potatoes. Put in just enough liquid that you can see the water slosh up if you shake the saucepan/pot.

Sprinkle in some kosher salt (or. Regular salt. Whatever you have) -- what little I know about cooking science suggests that this not only will season the potatoes, but keep their existing flavor from leaching out. I also put some butter in mine, so the flavor would incorporate into the cooking liquid.

Bring to an aggressive boil, lower to a milder boil, and keep the lid on while it cooks the rest of the way, so that the potatoes steam-cook. Set your timer for 20 minutes and check the tenderness by piercing with a fork. They may be soft even before that; this method cooks FAST once you reach boiling point.

If you've got a small batch, you can mash it up, liquid and all, with a fork. If you're doing larger, use an electric mixer if you have it, processing a few cups at a time. I like my potatoes slightly chunky, so adjust mashing method to your liking, though try not to overwork it to keep it from becoming gluey.

Heat up some milk or cream if you like and work it into the potatoes little by little until it's to your liking.

Mashed potato deliciousness, in a fraction of the original method's time.

My perfect mashed potatoes

The secret is in the water; literally, it’s IN the water.

See, when you boil potatoes, a lot of special starches and sugars and stuff leeches out into the water. When you drain the water before mashing them, you throw away a lot of good stuff, which is a big part of what makes mashed potatoes “dry” and bland, even when you add large amounts of cream and butter and things.

So don’t throw out any water.

Here’s how you do that:

First, cut your potatoes into smaller cubes than you probably do. (I’ve left the skins on for flavor and also, that’s where a lot of a potato’s nutrients are, like protien and iron and vitamins B and C, just to name a few)

The reason for cutting them smaller (besides avoiding giant peices of skin) is so that there is less space in the pot between each peice for water to fill, so you use less water to cook them. That’s important because you won’t be draining any water, so you can’t afford to have too much water! For the same reason, just barely cover them with water when they go on the stove.

But! Before you do that, put the pot on the stove with some butter, garlic, and seasonings; let the butter start to sizxle just a little then put most of a single layer of potatoes in the pan and let the brown and sear. Turn them, brown them on all sides, get ‘em fairly dark (I forgot to get a pic here because I was worried I’d burn the butter).

Ready? now throw the rest of the potatoes in right on top, and add your water, give them a stir. This way, you’re boiling in some of that lovely fried potato/french fry flavor.

Okay, so, as they cook, you may need to add a little water, not too much! ideally the very highest piece of potato will be poking just above the surface. Now, when your potatoes are really really soft, mash them directly into the water. Just pull them off the stove, leave all the water in, and start mashing. Trust me. At first you’ll think there’s too much water. If you get them mashed and they ARE a little too liquidy, just put ‘em back on the stove. You’ll have to stir often or constantly, but they will steam off additional water without losing any good stuff.

Now add some salt, and taste. Right?! And you haven’t even put in any cream or cheese or anything yet.

Speaking of which, you can use like, a third of the amount of butter or cream or anything, and they will still taste better than usual. So they taste better AND they are higher in nutrients AND lower in fats and salts! That’s a lot of win — enjoy your potatoes!

Fuck Columbus! Indigenous Rights! And happy Thanksgiving!

[alshalyn]

where’s that comic of Illidan cooking the turkey cause I haven’t seen it yet today and I haven’t reblogged it yet for this thanksgiving

[alshalyn]

Back in action? Maybe?

[alshalyn]

Brew a pot of coffee, pour it into the blender, add honey, cinnamon and nutmeg (and a little bit of clove if you have it), your favorite non-dairy milk, and a couple of tablespoons of canned pumpkin. (US grocery stores have it year-round. It's in with the canned vegetables.) Blend till foam forms on top. Pour into a mug and sip.

500 times better than Starbucks pumpkin spice, plus it has nutrients, plus you don't have to wait for Starbucks to release anything, plus it's vegan,* plus you don't have to go to a coffee shop in a pandemic

*don't @ me about whether honey is vegan. Honeybees are better compensated for their labor than baristas

[alshalyn]

So, no promises or anything

but I might be able to get my function together enough to revive Warchefs? At least for a little while

[alshalyn]

Mulled mead IS a thing, and so is alcohol infused with hot peppers. I wonder.

I've been playing the new World of Warcraft campaign, and I have the worst craving for mead right now

and I'm not even that much of a mead fan

[alshalyn]

Extremely Easy Lazy as Fuck Flatbread/Foccacia/Pizza-type Thing For People Who Don't Know How To Bake Shit

You're gonna need uhh about

1 cup all purpose flour

1 tsp yeast

1 tsp baking powder

2 tbsp olive oil

like a cup and a half of water or somethin

1 tsp maple syrup/honey/sugar/sweetener of your choice

a pinch or a few of salt

whatever herbs you want brother (i used parsley, oregano, basil, and garlic powder)

I am not a baker I literally have only made flatbread and tortillas before in like, a pan on the stove. But it was super easy to slap some leftover dough into a pan to make this heavenly flatbread type thing so here's how it's done

In a bowl you're gonna mix flour, yeast (I use yeast that you just throw in dry, idk, follow your yeast's instructions), baking powder and salt.

Once those dry ingredients are mixed you're gonna add your sweetener/maple syrup, 1 of your 2 tbsps of olive oil, and about a cup of water (literally just enough to make it all come together in a dough)

If the dough is practically liquid or sticky as hell, add some more flour. If it's dry/brittle/wont come together, add a bit more water. It's not rocket science I promise you might need practice but like trust the process

Roll that dough onto a floured surface and knead that shit. So like press it down, roll it onto itself, press again, keep doin that til its a smooth ball

Put that shit back in the bowl (after lining the bowl with flour so it doesnt stick) and cover with a damp towel for 10 mins to let it rise. Alternatively you can put the dough in an air-tight container/plastic bag and leave it in the fridge over night like i did

Preheat oven to like 350F or 175C

After that shits risen get a greased baking pan (as you can see I used a standard round cake pan cause thats what i have) and drop the dough in. Flatten and spread it with your fingers, poke holes into it

Drizzle that remaining olive oil, add herbs and salt to taste, whatever the hell you want really. then pop it in the oven

I didnt time it just like, watch it til its golden brown idk

Take the pan out but let the bread relax for a hot minute. Then put the bread on a cutting board or cooling rack or something. Let it cool completely before cutting into it for best results

I made this to dip in beef soup but its also heavenly on its own as a certified bread enjoyer

[alshalyn]

HOW does one be this cool

Don't tell anyone, but I'm hiding behind a cartoonishly big sign that says "I'M DEFINITELY COOL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE."

[alshalyn]

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

[alshalyn]

[alshalyn]

i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work

has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?

introducing: beurre monté

you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil

turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)

you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan

done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.

if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.

you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.

you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut

your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum

go forth now with this butter secret

[alshalyn]

Do you think it would it be possible to make that Buttered Turnip Porridge the Kul Tiran innkeepers always have in stock?

You know, I actually DID try that! Turnips, as Mists of Pandaria indicates, are a bit of a divisive food, because they taste unbearably bitter to some palates. Fortunately for me, I don't have that sensitivity (but I do have the cilantro-tastes-like-soap gene. Sadness), so I can tell you that turnips have an earthy, sweet taste with a slight radishy spiciness, and while my experiments weren't anything I would have recommended to a Warchefs reader, they weren't at all unpleasant. Still, I'm going to impart a very simple soup recipe here, that I'm sure can be applied to turnips if you'd ever like to try it out and should somewhat approximate the dish in-game. I've made this with other vegetables like carrots and mushrooms and potatoes, and it's very satisfying.

-- In a saucepan, fry some chopped onion in butter or oil until the onion turns slightly translucent. Throw in some aromatic spices of choice (black pepper, crushed red pepper, garlic) if you like. Once you're there, add your chopped vegetables of choice and saute them a little along with the onion to cook them partway, and then sprinkle over some kosher salt, and pour in water or soup stock to cover the vegetables and bring to a boil.

Once it boils, lower to a simmer and cook until the vegetables are soft enough to pierce easily with a fork, then turn off the heat and either puree in batches in a blender, OR use an immersion blender in the saucepan itself. If you like some texture in your soup, reserve some of the cooked vegetables and onions while you blend the rest and then add them again. Taste your soup, season to your liking with salt, and add a bit of complementary acid to brighten the flavor (lemon or lime juice, or vinegar).

This is a really great way to use up produce, and if you add a bit of cream near the end, you can serve it as a first course at a nice party and no one will ever know that it took nearly no effort to make!