alsocalledhawkeye - Tumblr blog

[alsocalledhawkeye]

As I watch The Crown (for the second time but all the way through for the first time), I keep finding myself…annoyed.

How are people so pissed off that Harry married an American divorcee and gave up his position in the Institution when that’s literally in his family history? Like, did everyone just forget that King Edward VIII literally gave up his entire THRONE for the exact same thing?

[alsocalledhawkeye]

My mother, who just told me she trusts no one and nothing anymore, also just said she’s heard reports “from people who were there and know and did it”, that there is a bunch of US research and development facilities in Ukraine.

What.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Not a damn thing is being done about it. Next question.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

The very next person I see who says “I hope you all see how important the Second Amendment is while you’re cheering on the Ukrainian people” is going to get punched in the duck.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

The party of Jewish space lasers saying “gazpacho police” is the funniest fUCKING thing I have ever heard.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Oh, wow, okay, so fighting with a partner is absolutely a different kind of arguing.

Noted.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Are my ADHD symptoms linked to my actual depression?

Because I have no motivation to get shit done until after I take my antidepressants.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Things the ghosty witch boy doesn’t remember:

- how old he is

-getting tested for ADHD in his early 20s

-entire conversations we’ve had

Things the ghosty witch boy does remember:

-my birthday

-our anniversary

-the fact I don’t like diamonds

[alsocalledhawkeye]

You know you found the right therapist when you spend 5 minutes at the end of the session talking about joint love of true crime.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Shout out to my antidepressants for making the drive in to work in the snow regular amounts of scary instead of overly scary.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

EXCUSE ME THE VAGUELY HUMAN COWORKER HAS BEEN DRINKING ADULT BEVERAGES WHILE WORKING I’M REPORTING HIM TO HR.

Furry coworker has returned and briefly trapped me to the couch for mandatory post lunch snuggles I’m sorry I do not make the rules.

Got coworkers today who are cute to distraction so like I probably won’t get any work done because I’ll be cuddling the furry one and teasing the vaguely human one.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Lunch with the vaguely human coworker just means I find out the vaguely human coworker is playing video games and occasionally moving his mouse so his boss doesn’t think he’s away too long. He also bought me my own order of dumplings from the Chinese place for lunch. Not because he was being nice or anything, he just didn’t want to share his.

Still no sign of the furry coworker.

Got coworkers today who are cute to distraction so like I probably won’t get any work done because I’ll be cuddling the furry one and teasing the vaguely human one.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Have flustered the vaguely human coworker twice. I live for saying things that garner responses like, “I…don’t have anything to say to that.” He retreated for several hours before sheepishly coming upstairs and saying, “hey is your meeting over? You want lunch? Wanna order something?” So, a successful flustering that got me free food.

Furry coworker has retreated to the warming mat in the upstairs portion of the office area. I assume. She’s gone missing.

Got coworkers today who are cute to distraction so like I probably won’t get any work done because I’ll be cuddling the furry one and teasing the vaguely human one.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Vaguely human coworker has emerged from his cave for snacks of cheese and wearing the glasses I forgot he had. Furry coworker has been chasing around a balled up piece of trash for like 45 minutes.

This is significantly more enjoyable than working from my own home.

Got coworkers today who are cute to distraction so like I probably won’t get any work done because I’ll be cuddling the furry one and teasing the vaguely human one.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Vaguely human coworker is working from the basement listening to an audiobook at very loud volumes. Furry coworker has trapped me on the couch twice.

Got coworkers today who are cute to distraction so like I probably won’t get any work done because I’ll be cuddling the furry one and teasing the vaguely human one.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

Got coworkers today who are cute to distraction so like I probably won’t get any work done because I’ll be cuddling the furry one and teasing the vaguely human one.

[alsocalledhawkeye]

If I had a nickel for every time my bare feet touched a man’s used underwear, I’d have two nickels. But it’s weird that it happened twice, right?