alstoltz - Tumblr blog

[alstoltz]

I finally made the meme I've had in my head for over a year

[alstoltz]

[alstoltz]

[alstoltz]

[alstoltz]

LET'S MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING MAPS

YOU NEED

A BIG SHEET OF PAPER & A PENCIL

SOME MOTHER FUCKING MACCARONI (MAKE SURE THEY’RE DRY BRO DON’T WANT NO STICKY-ICKY MAP)

AIGHT THAT SHIT DON’T LOOK LIKE NO COUNTRY I KNOW (EXCEPT MAYBE AUSTRALIA FUCK THEM THOUGH)

ORGANIZE YOUR MACCARONI! MAKE SOME FUCKING COASTLINES!

BETTER, BUT NOT FUCKING GOOD! WHATEVER, TRACE THE COASTLINE WITH YOUR PENCIL. BE SURE TO BE SLIGHTLY SQUIGGLY AND, OH, FUCK THOSE LITTLE ISLANDS YOU MADE THEY’RE NOT BIG ENOUGH TO BE WOBBLY ENOUGH SO YOU’RE BETTER OFF USING EITHER RICE (OR SIMILAR) OR JUST TRY TO MAKE SOME REALISTIC FUCKING ISLANDS (SPOILER: YOU WON’T)

GOOD ENOUGH I GUESS WHATEVER LOOK AT THAT VAGUE SORT OF ISLAND/COUNTRY/CONTINENT SHAPED PIECE OF SHIT. SEE THE ISLANDS? I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO DAWG.

NOW TAKE A SHARPIE AND MAKE EVEN SQUIGGLIER FUCKING LINES AS YOU FILL IN YOUR ISOUNINENT

LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL PIECE OF SHIT IT TOOK ME LITERALLY TEN MINUTES TO MAKE TOPS AND NOW YOU JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT ALL YOUR DWARF-FUCKING ELVES AND LIZARD-PEOPLE WITH BOOBS

FUCKING GOOD JOB

[alstoltz]

This 🙌 #LGBTQ #pride

[alstoltz]

[alstoltz]

Do you think any of us will live long enough to see these become non-issues?

[alstoltz]

“But it’s sooooo faaaar away.”

Trust me, you need the exercise.

who fucking litters. why do i ever see litter. who thinks that’s okay. who. who NEEDS to throw their fast food bag out the fucking window instead of waiting until they get somewhere with a trashcan. what kinda clown behavior. get fucked.

[alstoltz]

black lives are more important than white feelings

[alstoltz]

You can ALWAYS try again. 💯

[alstoltz]

This is so real. Just watch it… 

[alstoltz]

An apology

I'm sorry if I help fuel your ed

I'm sorry if this account is one of the reasons you have an ed

In sorry if you looked on my page out of curiosity then stumbled down the rabbit hole

I'm sorry if my page influenced your ed in anyway

But let me say something

It might be too late for those people but please I'm BEGGING you if you don't have an ed and are at the "curiosity" stage let me tell you the saying "Curiousity Killed the Cat" has never rang more true, so LEAVE. I'm not asking you nicely I'm telling you FUCKING LEAVE.

I don't care if I seem rude to you, get the fuck off tumblr RIGHT NOW. I ignored these when I saw them and I regret it this disorder is one of the WORST things that happened to me, you know anorexia is the most deadly mental illness ? If you don't recover you will DIE.

I want to scream through my phone, I am so fucking angry, I don't want to influence any eating disorders !!!

As the sister of a recovered anorexic being their family member is horrible, seeing someone slowly deteriorate, hearing the fights escalate, not knowing when you would see them for the last time, wondering why they won't eat this. When I was 8, my parents FORBADE ME FROM WAKING MY BIG SISTER UP IN FEAR I WOULD SEE HER DEAD BODY. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?! THEY THOUGHT A CHILD, A BABY, WOULD SEE THE PERSON SHE LOOKS UP TO DEAD.

THIS ILLNESS IS NO JOKE, NOT A SKINNY DISNEY FAST PASS, NOT A CUTE QUIRK, IT'S DEADLY.

And as an anorexic let me tell you, it's even worse. You will cry in front of the mirror, pinch your "fat" until it's red, shower in the dark, the scale will be your best friend and worse enemy, you will hate yourself so much more, you will MISS FOOD, you will miss being able to eat fries or pizza or spring rolls or crisps or potatoes, you may be thinking "I'll still let myself eat them from time to time" NO YOU WON'T, you will probably have a breakdown when you have them on your plate, you might purge, you might starve for the next day or more. Your personality will dissolve, you will be constantly angry and irritable.

Oh and also, if you have siblings or cousins I would like to inform you that people are more likely to have an ed if a family member had one and I KNOW you care about your family. (I am not accusing any one of purposefully influencing family members it's just for information)

If you have an already existing ed you can stay, if not then get the FUCK OFF MY PAGE YOU BEAUTIFUL PERFECT HUMAN BEING AND GO HAVE A SNACK. This illness is not beautiful and aesthetic, it's torture.

[alstoltz]

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

Barbados: 429-9999

Belgium: 106

Botswana: 391-1270

Brazil: 21-233-9191

China: 852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

Costa Rica: 606-253-5439

Croatia: 01-4833-888

Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark: 70-201-201

Egypt: 762-1602

Estonia: 6-558-088

Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

Japan: 3-5286-9090

Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

New Zealand: 4-473-9739

New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

(Source)

[alstoltz]

THANK GOD SOMEONE SAID IT.