altermutant

[altermutant]

during the work day my rage metre builds up, allowing me to unleash a powerful & ill advised special attack around 4pm

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Andre Cymone, member of Prince’s band pre-Revolution and also his best friend. In the band he was a bassist, songwriter, and record producer. Also known as The Godfather of Minneapolis.

[altermutant]

[altermutant]

Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

[altermutant]

At the post office today:

Man with beautiful silver undercut and a coach bag: can I get a sheet of stamps please

Clerk: does it matter what kind?

Man, with homosexual despair: EVerything matters to me, unFORtunately.

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every forest is enchanted btw. stop being stupid and look with your eyes

[altermutant]

can I come over and dodge roll into all your breakable furniture

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making stuff is one of the best parts of being alive

[altermutant]

sorry for expressing emotions incorrectly. having feelings was considered "acting out" when i was a kid

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Right click -> save as -> ancient curse

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*in the middle of a breakdown* Omg wait. this is just like the character

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Hey, guys? Make peace with yellow teeth. I'm so serious right now.

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??? we love fat tummies here idiot

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spöken

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everyone avert your eyes [expresses a standard human emotion] [illogically experiences shame even with only myself as witness]

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Everyone warns you agaist going to the supermarket hungry, but nobody tells you about the dangers of going there too full: I do not want any of these things, for I will never require any food at all!

[altermutant]

In my opinion it's a lot more healthy to be able to own that you dislike someone for petty reasons than to do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make everyone you don't really vibe with out to be a bad person actually