altmoney - Tumblr blog

altmoney · 2 years

Text

The wind blew softly past me as my breath hitched every once in a while. My breaths seemed short, quick, and shallow. My heart hammered painfully in my chest. Every time I exhaled a small gasp escaped my lips. The cold air burned my throat making it feel scratchy. I continued to walk along the sidewalk feeling lightheaded and nauseated.

I wasn't thinking straight at all. All I could feel was a panic attack. Panic attack after panic attack, each stronger and harsher than the previous one. It didn't matter that my hands were shaking. The feeling of panic was strong enough that they would eventually stop. All it would take was one mistake and I'd be right back at square one. But I couldn't make that mistake. I needed to be careful. I had to be very careful not to make a mistake. I had to make sure nothing bad happened again. I had to be very careful not to make any mistakes again. It wouldn't be fair. To be honest, I was surprised it wasn't happening already. A mistake meant I would have to deal with punishment.

I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like I might be sick. My breathing started to become shallow and ragged. All I could feel was pain. Sharp painful pain. Every time I breathed I felt as though something was tearing my lungs apart. The pain was spreading throughout every single one of my muscles and bones. I had no idea how long my panic attack lasted. All I know is that after a while the pain started fading away and soon I fell unconscious on the ground. My breathing started to become easier and my heartbeat slowed down. When I woke up I couldn't remember what happened. I don't even remember where I was.

My head felt so heavy. Everything felt like I was floating underwater. I looked around and saw that I was standing in an alleyway. I could see people walking by. It must be nighttime because everything looked darker. But I still couldn't seem to move. I didn't even feel like I could. I tried to lift my hands to rub my eyes or look at anything other than the ground. However, when I tried to touch myself I immediately regretted it. I screamed in pain when I moved my hand too fast and accidentally stabbed my finger with my sharp nails. I groaned and brought my fingers to my mouth to check to see whether or not the cut was bleeding. There wasn't any. It didn't look like it had gotten infected either. But why? How come I didn't bleed? Why was I so numb? Did I hurt myself in some way?

#alternative goth #alternative #emo aesthetic #short story #pls help

0 notes