altruiisms

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fuck i forgot i gotta stream today. so i'll be back on after i stream but i miss my boy. like this for a lyric starter <3

[altruiisms]

Show ur tits plz

only bc u asked nicely

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Eᴠᴇɴ Mᴏʀᴇ Iɴᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛ Qᴜᴏᴛᴇs Gᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀ!

Send in ✏️ and I’ll use this (improved) incorrect quote generator featuring both our muses! (please remember to specify how many muses/which muses for multimuses!)

[altruiisms]

hihi, i'm here.

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james swallows when she pulls her hand away from his, his hand flexing and desperate to reach out again -- his hand feeling desperately empty without hers within it. he tugs his glasses off of his face, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down. he had to. he shouldn't have -- broken down like he did. james didn't cry. he had too much good in his life to cry. after seeing the shit that sirius went through -- remus...lily? it feels wrong to feel overwhelmed and effected by any of it. his parents love him. support him. they're both alive. they don't struggle with money. it shouldn't effect him.

he inhales sharply when lily moves behind him, tossing his glasses down onto the coffee table in front of him and dragging his hands down his face. "it's done nothing to me. it's fine. i'm fine. i have to be." the response sounds and feels automatic. with everyone else falling apart around him, one of them had to be okay. even though he isn't okay, and part of him knows he isn't okay, he still has to be. he inhales sharply and his nose wrinkles when her fingers begin to dig into his tense shoulders. he loves the feeling of her hands on him, massaging his shoulders but he finds himself pulling away. "lily, stop." because he doesn't deserve it. the kindness.

he sweeps his glasses back up from the table, pushing them up the bridge of his nose and then maneuvers himself so he can look at her. he doesn't like talking about this -- about them without looking at her. hazel eyes flick up to her face, settling against the arm rest of the sofa. "you know," he starts, tugging his fingers through his hair to keep his hands busy, to stop himself from reaching out for her. he settles his hand back onto his lap, fingers tapping on his thigh. "what -- does that change? what does it mean? what questions do you have?"

he needs to fix something.

She says nothing while he brings himself down from his panic. Nothing as he clings desperately to her, and relaxes before pressing himself into her. She wouldn't begrudge him that, because she wanted that closeness too. Lily felt like a part of herself had been missing for a fortnight. Some ever-present ache that only he could soothe.

And she listens as he rambles. She can guess what it was Sirius had done two years ago. Hadn't she and Severus briefly touched on something James had saved his life over? She knew too about Sirius leaving home, because of course Regulus Black wouldn't keep quite about his being the Black family heir. It was hardly a mystery where Sirius Black might go to. She didn't know what state he'd been in obviously. But Lily had been pretty self-involved at the start of sixth year.

Lily can't quite look at James, though his hand on hers is like a tether. One she doesn't deserve, because she almost wants to shout out 'what about me? am I not family too?' It would not have been in anger, but desperation. Because well...Lily doesn't have a family any more. Not now with both her parents gone, and Petunia refusing to answer her letters begging for a response.

Please Tuney I really need my sister...Please write back...I love you, I miss you...I'm sorry, so sorry...All of them unanswered.

It isn't fair to ask. She and James hadn't dated long in the grand scheme of things, and well...they weren't dating now. It terrifies Lily how fast and hard she's fallen for him. And maybe a part of her wonders if there's any point to trying to work things out. What if she's never family to him? What if, if the choice comes up again to sacrifice her for the others, he always chooses to lose her? Could she bear being loved like that, always knowing he could bear to lose her again and again? Did she even deserve better than being worth losing?

Suddenly, Lily doesn't want James looking at her. She pulls her hand free of his, but doesn't run. Instead, awkwardly, she positions herself so that she's sitting behind him. She wants so desperately to appear thoughtful and understanding. But now that he seems to have calmed, she feels her own fears surfacing again. To distract herself, she begins to knead his shoulders.

"At the risk of sounding insensitive," she says after a moment. "I don't care about them right now. I care about you, and what this has done to you...And maybe I care about what it did to us too."

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he took in a deep breath when he heard her sob, his arms tightening around him and almost instantly he was able to shove down his own panic. lily was worried, crying. he needed to focus, figure out exactly what was going on and where they were. how long they had been gone for. his arms tighten around her -- still as strong as that night. nothing had changed -- if anything he hoped he could see without his fucking glasses. it would've made everything much easier.

"hey, hey, it's okay." he reached up to curl her fingers into her auburn locks, caked in dirt but holding her as close as he can. he shoves his panic down, taking in a deep breath to try and calm the way his heart pounds against his chest -- trying to calm himself down to at least help her through her feelings. one of them had to try and be calm. to try and figure things out. he could panic later. now? they just need to find their son and figure out how long they've been gone for.

james only releases his grip on her so his hands could move to cup her cheeks. he carefully tilts her head back to look at him, thumbs swiping at the tears staining her cheeks. "sirius must have him." even covered in dirt and through squinted eyes, she is still beautiful. he leans forward, placing a kiss to her forehead. "he's fine. they're all fine." they had to be. they had to be okay, otherwise they would have died for nothing.

well...they didn't die die. they just -- whatever'd for years.

"we'll -- get a hold of dumbledore. owl him -- send a message. get a hold of him. he'll know. he'll have to know."

For the briefest of moments, it's enough just to feel him breathing. It seemed only moments ago that she'd heard him die. But James is not dead. He's here and warm, heart beating, covered in mud and dirt, same as she.

As he's looking at her, she's looking at him. No glasses, which she finds so wrong. Eyes the same hazel, eye's she's gotten lost in more than once, now reflecting the same fear and confusion she feels.

She watches him put pieces together. The weight that something wrong has happened. Something deeply wrong. Because they'd died. Lily remembers hearing the killing curse cast. They'd died, and Harry...Where was Harry?

"James, please...Please, I don't---I don't know!" her last word comes out like a sob for how much of a failure she feels. It's her job to protect Harry, to know where he is. But he's gone from her, and she has no idea how to find him.

He could be dead.

His name isn't on the headstone. But Voldemort could've taken him, killed him and disposed of her baby in a place no one would ever find him.

The thought seems to rip through her, and she's sobbing in earnest, fingers digging into James for support, but also fear that he might pull away from her in disgust for her failure to protect their son. After all, she's disgusted with herself.

"Sirius," she chokes out. It's a desperate, wild hope. "He's his godfather, Harry must be with Sirius."

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he had only been gone for a few minutes, a trip to the loo and then back -- disguised, of course, but at least he could get out for a bit with his friend and have some time to breathe. the news of him and lily still being alive hadn't quite hit the prophet. no, everyone had been too focused on their son to care. and his best friend. james learned quickly to avoid the prophet -- it had a turn for the worse since he 'died'. it all felt more like gossip and dragging people down -- his son down -- than actually reporting what was going on.

james stepped out of the loo to laughter, his brow pressing together as he saw a crowd beginning to gather. he wiped his hands off on his jeans, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose before he slowly managed to weave his way through the crowd. his jaw set -- taking in the scene before him. his hazel eyes settled on his friend on the ground, jaw setting and his eyes narrowed at the other men. he shoved a few of them away, snapping at them when they snapped at him and he moved to immediately help remus up.

his eyebrow arches and he holds his hands up. "it's just me." he hummed, reaching over to grab remus's cane and offering his hand. "c'mon, mate. we can go someplace else. "

❝ here you go , mutt . ❞

the food that remus had ORDERED from the bar was slid over the floor , sloshing in a dog bowl . staring down at it , remus saw that it wasn't even what he had asked for -- instead raw mince meat && nothing more . the dog bowl hadn't even been washed , crusty dried dog food on its sides . feeling his features glow with embarrassment && anger , remus watched as the entirety of the three broomsticks broke into laughter . madam rosmerta wasn't on today . otherwise she might have said something . but no one stood up to say anything . remus raised himself from his chair , trying not to let it get to him , but there being a faint flush across his face in HUMILIATION .

a pair of hands pressed up against his back , && without any sort of warning , remus was shoved onto the floor && his cane kicked away from him .

more LAUGHTER .

it had gotten so much worse since rita skeeter had reported his name in the prophet a few weeks ago . now everyone knew && looked at him like he was a filthy animal . remus lay there for a second before then pushing himself up from the floor . reaching for his cane , he ATTEMPTED to pull himself up . another pair of hands reached for him but he pushed them away .

❝ don't touch me ! ❞ he said furiously , mingled with sad . once he saw who it was , his face fell crestfallen . ❝ sorry , sorry . ❞ // open

[altruiisms]

𝚊𝚕·𝚝𝚛𝚞·𝚒𝚜𝚖 (𝚊𝚕ˌ𝚝𝚛𝚘͞𝚘ˌ𝚒𝚣ə𝚖) - 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚏 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕-𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜.

private and selective james fleamont potter from the world of harry potter. 21+ only. minors and personals do not interact -- i will block immediately on sight. mutuals only. extremely anti-jkr.

this blog will explore the life and times of our favorite dead dad james potter.

verses include canon and alternate timelines. crossover friendly. oc friendly. unfortunately not duplicate friendly ( with the exception of one. written by my lovely friend catt. )

this blog will contain triggers like ( but not limited to ) the following: ptsd, depression, anxiety, sexual content. please read rules before following.

rules. bio. verses. memes. ask.

written by berry, she/her, 29, PST. promo credit. template credit.

[altruiisms]

ahehem. i'm here.

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anyway, happy munday!

[altruiisms]

Smash or Pass (there is only one right answer)

smash or pass !! - accepting

"...but if i say smash, then i'd be objectifying you, right?" he sports a cheeky grin. "smash. always and forever."

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Send Smash or Pass + a name and my muse will say if they would smash or pass on that person.

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anyway, yes. hi. meme call??

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I HAVE PRETTY NEW GRAPHICS AND I LOVE THEM. hi friends. i'm here. well, i'm swapping between all of my blogs.

[altruiisms]

𝚊𝚕·𝚝𝚛𝚞·𝚒𝚜𝚖 (𝚊𝚕ˌ𝚝𝚛𝚘͞𝚘ˌ𝚒𝚣ə𝚖) - 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚏 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕-𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜.

private and selective james fleamont potter from the world of harry potter. 21+ only. minors and personals do not interact -- i will block immediately on sight. mutuals only. extremely anti-jkr.

this blog will explore the life and times of our favorite dead dad james potter.

verses include canon and alternate timelines. crossover friendly. oc friendly. unfortunately not duplicate friendly ( with the exception of one. written by my lovely friend catt. )

this blog will contain triggers like ( but not limited to ) the following: ptsd, depression, anxiety, sexual content. please read rules before following.

rules. bio. verses. memes. ask.

written by berry, she/her, 29, PST. promo credit. template credit.

[altruiisms]

private and selective james fleamont potter from the world of harry potter. 21+ only. minors and personals do not interact -- i will block immediately on sight. mutuals only. extremely anti-jkr.

this blog will explore the life and times of our favorite dead dad james potter. i am anti-jegulus. i do not ship it and have had too many awful experiences with it, so i just CANNOT. i will not yuck your yum -- if you enjoy it, awesome. it's just not my cup of tea.

verses include canon and alternate timelines. crossover friendly. oc friendly. unfortunately not duplicate friendly.

this blog will contain triggers like ( but not limited to ) the following: ptsd, depression, anxiety, sexual content. please read rules before following.

rules. bio. verses. memes. ask.

written by berry, she/her, 29, PST. mains: @lupiinee | @everbloomingsoul / @wizardingsouls | @oftriwizards promo credit. template credit.

[altruiisms]

here's the situation my friends.

i've been going through and having a lot of anxiety. work has been going through a lot of changes. some things in my personal life has changed. change is really hard in general, and i specifically have an extremely hard time with it. i've had little to no energy to do anything, and i've desperately been trying to write but my anxiety is getting in the way of me publicly posting things. i'm still trying to be here, but it's honestly been really hard.

everything is going to be going into my queue. my queue is currently on pause and i'll start it when i feel like i've gotten through enough of my stuff. i'd offer to write stuff on discord, but at this point i'm struggling there ( for the most part. there are a select few that i've had no issues with because of comfortability level and what not ). this doesn't mean anything. this doesn't mean i don't have an interest in interacting. this just means i've developed a relationship with these people and muses off tumblr. i promise, i still want to write with everyone here. i'm just having a really hard time publishing any of my words publically -- and honestly i find myself getting upset about things that i shouldn't be getting upset about?

i don't know how long it's going to take for me to feel comfortable again, all i ask is for your patience and understanding. you are more than welcome to reach out to me and ask for my discord. i'll be much more responsive there. i'm so sorry. i promise i'll be back. i just need some time. <3

berry.