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        YES                     NO

RELIGIONS OF ASIA IN PRACTICE

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PAGAN BRITAIN

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HISTORY OF DHARMASASTRA

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Am I right? *crying laughing emoji*

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Can anyone translate? *text in foreign alphabet*

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The tyranny of freedom *dirty look emoji*

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Observations of a CVS Security Camera

-I walked into cvs to observe the screen that displays what the security camera shows

-I feel weird standing here by myself. I feel like people think I am creepy and am going to rob the store

-a person wearing a Brown T-shirt walks in and goes to her right

-a guy in a teal blue and beigey brown rain jacket walks straight ahead into the snacks aisle

-a woman approaches the rack opposite the tv screen, her back to it. She searches for a loaf of Pepperidge farm bread. 

-Two people exit from the other set of doors. One is wearing a red puffy jacket, the other is carrying a red brown university drawstring bag

-the guy in the blue and brown rain jacket leaves

-a girl in a royal blue fleece enters and looks at me funny. She has a boxy black cloth case for a string instrument strapped across her back probably a viola since it looks a little too big to be a violin but to small to be a cello

-it’s pretty still right now

-a guy walks by the outside door

-there are all kinds of chips arranged around where the monitor is

-also umbrellas, which I ran in to buy once when I got caught In a sudden torrential downpour this past September

-there are rain ponchos on the same rack

-two tall guys in thick and long black puffy coats walk into the entryway and then use the exit doors to enter the store

-there are stacks and stacks of huge cases of water

-Tate’s cookies

-a girl in an army green coat walks in with her head turned to the opposite side of me and doesn’t at look at me but walks straight ahead into the snack aisle, stops to look at something, then turns around and passes me again, still not looking at me. 

-the two people in the big coats come by again. To enter the snack aisle

-girl in green coat exits the exit side and runs out, triggering the sensor for the entry sliding doors to open as well

-two people walk in slowly and look at me quickly before continuing on to the snack aisle straight ahead

-I see cars passing by outside through the glass doors

-an employee just passed by me

-every time someone is near me I feel like they can see what I’m writing

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Public Relations by Katie Heaney and Arianna Rebolini - Rewrite

Why did she trust me to take her place in the meeting? She is a partner in the firm, a fabulously powerful boss.  I’m just a lowly little office employee who works in a cubicle and must have just happened to be in the right place at the right time.  I can’t mess this up.  I have to do exactly as she instructed.  Wait, what she say again?  Oh my God, right, okay.  Just sit silently and take notes.  Don’t say a word.  I can do that.  It’s not like I even have the audacity to believe anything I say would matter to Ryan and the rest of them, anyway.  Okay, I better start heading over to the conference room now.  There are only 12 minutes left before the meeting starts and it’s a whopping fifty feet away from my desk.  I gather my notepad and two pens just to be safe in case one mysteriously runs out of ink and carefully walk over to the conference room, as if even the slightest noise of a single one of my steps would cause the greatest of commotions.  When I arrive, I sit in the most obscure seat at the table, the one that looks like it should seat the least important person in the room.  After a few minutes, one by one, people who will never know my name and make way more money than I could ever even dream of shuffle in with muffled “Good morning”s or just no words at all.  Finally, Ryan saunters in and announces the purpose of the meeting.  The company is taking on a new client: British pop star and heartthrob Archie Fox.  

“Archie’s image has taken a blow since his breakup with Chloe Tan and, obviously, it’s our job to fix it,” Ryan explains.  “Does anyone have any ideas?”

Archie’s relationship and eventual breakup with Chloe was highly public, especially since she was an older woman and the fling began when Archie was still very young.  Since the heartbreak, Archie has lived quite under the radar -- as much as he can for that matter -- and it’s been a while since he’s released any new music.  

“What about a new YouTube channel?” someone suggests.

“A YouTube channel?  Jesus we’re trying to boost his career not demolish it,” Ryan fumes.  “Starting a YouTube channel is for hopeful little teenagers that are desperate for attention and validation and maybe even to be discovered.  Archie is a world famous singer and songwriter.  Telling him to just start a YouTube channel would be like telling him he might as well surrender now. Does anyone else have any other bright ideas?”

“We could get him a collaboration with a hair care brand.  His curly hair is his trademark,” someone tries.

“You people really are clueless, aren’t you?  What kind of washed up has-been resorts to a move that so obviously shows how desperately they’re clinging onto any last hope of relevance?  Because I can assure you it’s not one of our clients.  Next.”

In that moment something comes over me.  I have no idea what or how.  I never in a million years thought I would let even a peep come out of my mouth in this meeting, so when the words “What if we staged a relationship with Raya.  She’s very up and coming and has a hugely growing young female fan base” come out of my mouth I’m just as shocked as everyone else in the room.

“Sorry, who are you?” Ryan scoffs.

“No one.  I’m sorry, I’m just sitting in to take notes for Joanna please ignore every syllable that just came out of my mouth.”

“That’s actually not bad,” he says slowly.

All I can think is how happy I am that those words most likely mean I won’t be immediately fired and have to run out of them room crying.

“I like it.  Work something up for me with that.  You’re in charge of Archie’s case.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

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Funny Girl by Nick Hornby -Rewrite

Sophie Straw walked into the audition for the Comedy Playhouse trial pilot episode having almost forgotten her former identity as Barbara from Blackpool.  She had felt that her life had only truly begun when she came to London, and she changed her name almost as soon as she arrived so it was like she had been called Sophie for most of her life.  As she walked toward the table of four men laughing with each other slouched in their chairs looking intimidatingly relaxed in a moment that could determine her future, she held onto every last hope she had to become like the idol who graced her television screen during reruns of I Love Lucy.  She wanted to make people laugh when all anyone could seem to notice about her was the blonde hair and strikingly curvy figure that made her look like that model called Sabrina, and even her looks weren’t enough for her to avoid rejection after rejection from substanceless product adverts.  It was a surreal feeling for Sophie to be standing in front of the men responsible for the radio show she most enjoyed listening to back in Blackpool with her father, The Awkward Squad.  She was anxious, but ready to perform with every ounce of humor she could squeeze out of the frankly banal script, when the group’s not so subtle snickering stopped her.

‘Sorry,’ said Dennis, the producer, ‘they’re not laughing at you they’re laughing because you look like someone.’

Oh, for Christ’s sake, Sophie thought. Not this ‘Sabrina’ bollocks again.

One of the writers, Tony, added, ‘Right, don’t mind us.  You just fit the picture we had in mind when creating the female lead quite perfectly.’

‘As perfect as she is she can’t save this script.  Nobody could.  It’s dreadful,’ the second writer, Bill, contributed.

‘You read the script, didn’t you, Sophie? What did you think of it? Was it funny?’ Clive, the actor who was playing the male lead, asked.

Sophie thought for a moment. ‘Do you want me to be honest?’ she asked wondering whether it would be worth it to flatter these chaps.

‘Yes, please, we’re desperate,’ Bill said. ‘Did you laugh once while reading it?’

‘No.  It’s not very good,’ Sophie decided to say.

‘See? What are we thinking? And why did we let Dennis convince us to call it Wedded Bliss? with a question mark?  Question marks are perhaps the least funny punctuation and punctuation isn’t particularly funny to begin with,’ Tony griped.

‘I’m not the one who has any authority to write about marital relationships.  That should be your and Dennis’s area of expertise,’ Bill said.

‘What didn’t you like about it, Sophie?’ Dennis asked sincerely.

‘All of it.  Well, there’s nothing about this newly wedded couple that is particularly appealing or even interesting.  Susan just goes on being a stupid and stereotypically unfit housewife and Paul doesn’t even play off of her.  Their relationship doesn’t feel real.’

‘Christ.  We’ve made completely the wrong show.  It’s all wrong,’ Tony said.  ‘Alright well why don’t you and Clive read some of it for us anyway, Sophie?”

Even with whatever dull words she’d been given she managed to put on enough of a show to get a few laughs out of the four of them.  She used ridiculous facial expressions and stretched out each sentence dramatically enough to give it some level of comedy until they finished and were all laughing together.

‘You all are very funny on The Awkward Squad, I love that show.  Can’t you pick some of the humor from that and try to put it into Wedded Bliss?’ Sophie suggested.

‘We can try but we have to start over and write a totally new show.  Wedded Bliss? entirely isn’t working,’ Bill said.  ‘Your accent is amazing, Sophie, where are you from?’ he wondered, charmed by her freshness.

‘Blackpool.  Up north,’ she answered.

‘Right, Blackpool.  Perfect.  The new female character will be from Blackpool.’

‘Alright well I guess I’ll be on my way, then.’ Sophie began to turn around.

‘What?  Why are you leaving?’

‘Well the show I came to audition for no longer exists so I thought there was nothing left to audition for.’

The men chuckled. ‘We thought you realized.  We want to make a new show if you’re playing the lead,’ Tony told her.

Sophie knew all the rejection she’d experienced led entirely up to that moment.  The energy in the room bouncing off the five of them to each other was inimitable.  She wanted it to be like this forever.