amandahontas - Tumblr blog

[amandahontas]

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

[amandahontas]

"came back wrong" but it's food that you heated up in the microwave

[amandahontas]

As with the horse poll, please regard these options as sliders. The extent to which each one deviates from 1/6th of the total will determine the amount that canine aspect deviates from the "average."

I will draw the dog we make. :)

[amandahontas]

that is fucked

[amandahontas]

[amandahontas]

Me Giving a Pressed Conference: our advocacy for the disabled must include the addict, the imperfect victim, those we despise; the right to autonomy and life cannot devolve into a popularity contest

Reporter I Hate (Not Sexual Tension): Does that include all the attendees of the Bored Ape NFT event who went blind

Me: *Blood streaming from my nostrils and eyes* david, it includes everyone

[amandahontas]

(for the purposes of this poll, there is no monkey's paw situation: the chore you pick stays the same level of difficulty/grossness/etc. as it normally is for you, and you only have to do it as often as you want to. the chores you don't pick are magically done for you exactly the way you'd want them to be, just with zero effort on your part.)

[amandahontas]

[amandahontas]

"How can you write romance if you're asexual?" The same way I write fight scenes despite never having elbowed some dude in the small intestine: Really badly and I don't know what I'm talking about pls I'm sorry-

[amandahontas]

How do I be cool like Jesus Christ

Be kind

[amandahontas]

[amandahontas]

“Do you think seahorses write fpreg” and the many other riveting things my friend texts me right before I go to work

[amandahontas]

[amandahontas]

Brother Gregor never spoke and often spooked the neophytes with his appearance, but he was a gentle soul and a phenomenal cook and knew more ways to prepare a fish than the abbot knew hymns

[amandahontas]

had a cis coworker try to disdainfully explain otherkin to me. "they genuinely believe they're animals" he said to me. i said "buddy, some people genuinely believe in the free market." and he went "huh. yeah."

[amandahontas]

i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday