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“I may be covered in cat hair, but I still smell good." Thundercat and Tron in the journal.

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Found photo gal, wearing SO MUCH fabric– but it’s a vibe honestly.

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Amidst the slings and arrows of this artist’s existential crisis, I’ve been forgetting to acknowledge the times I create and like what comes out. Or worse, it convinces me it’s bad, and I come back later to find it’s actually great! Enough of that. Down with that sort of thing. From a couple weeks ago, chilling in the journal with Yukimi Nagano of Little Dragon.

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Hung out outside today with my travel watercolor set with no real expectations. Part of the block that has been terrorizing me is in getting bogged down by a whole lot of “shoulds”. It’s hard to be stuck when you derive most of your worth from your creative pursuits. (That’s not a fair thing to do to yourself by the way; consult your therapist lol.) The more stuck you get, the worse you feel, and it’s just a yucky spiral. So I’m trying to inject some novelty into my art practice– new tools and mediums, new environs, less expectations, less planning, and less beating up on my self. Yay?!

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“I wish I was a fisherman, tumblin’ on the seas. Far away from dry land and its bitter memories.”

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Hello! I’m alive. Just trying out not doing art when I don’t wanna, or when I’m feeling like I’ve lost the thread. Turns out you can actually go through life NOT constantly punishing yourself; who knew? Anyway, more Scott.

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Scott.

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Dave in progress. Genuinely impossible to not enjoy rendering this man.

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“To hell with poverty, we’ll get drunk on cheap wine!” Hi, hello, it’s me!! The guys are FINALLY up in the shop. Find my Gang of Four tribute and other such printed delights in the shop. 🎸

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“STOP ‘IM, HE’S GOT MY PEN!” As always, more prints in the shop. Here. 👂🖊️

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Me and Kate are testing out the new gouache set babyyyyy. Feels good this time. No stress and just vibing– who knew it was possible? More later…

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RIP Yuki, and thank you. 🖤

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Onward. ✨

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I am so, so much more blocked up than I think I’ve been acknowledging. I don’t know how to fix it. The associated guilt and frustration doesn’t help. And it’s a real bummer to struggle so hard to create when so much of my self worth comes from that cycle of creativity. I can attempt to analyze it. But what I’ve found with other fun Brain Problems™, is that actually, it is possible to analyze too much?? So maybe… I just do it? I dunno. Anyway, here’s Terry in progress. 🖤

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“Watch them– collapsing.” Frank.

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Haven’t quite figured out how to not look sus when people catch me staring. 🥴

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It’s been many years since I’ve done a real, committed self-portrait. I spend so much energy on trying to make other folks look cool and beautiful, so it’s fun to do that for myself every once in a while. A nice confidence booster too, ‘cause it’s a reminder I’m not the weird mutant I sometimes think I am when I’m tearing myself down. Anywho, in-progress! 👀