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50 States of McMansion Hell: Campbell County, Wyoming

Howdy, folks! It’s time for us to go home, (big, ugly) home on the range. That’s right: It’s time for Wyoming. Now, when I think Wyoming, I think of rolling hills, ranches, incredible landscapes, and also that book about cowgirls that Dick Cheney’s wife wrote.

On that note:

This beautiful 5 bed/4.5 bath 6,000 square foot house was built in 2002. It can be all yours for around $700,000 USD.

Let’s mosey on down through this here estate.

Divorce Lawyer Foyer/Living Room

Now, I’ve been an architecture enthusiast for about a decade of my short, two and a half decade life and never have I seen something as both absurd and patently useless as whatever the hell that thing separating the foyer and the living room is. Does it have a structural purpose? No. Does it have an aesthetic purpose? Also no.

Kitchen

(Running for president voice) “Folks, when I become president, I assure you that the injustice - the absolute tyranny -  that is the island stovetop/wall oven combo will finally–” (crowd cheering) “– and I mean finally, be put deep into the ground where it belongs.”

Dining Room

The aged bronze chandeliers must have been on ultra clearance. Personally, as someone who loves a good deal, I cannot shame them for this.

Master Bedroom

What I can’t determine is what they were going for with the sponge paint on the walls. My closest approximation is tree bark, in which case what we see before us in fact is deeply offensive to the trees, who are innocent and don’t deserved to be involved in any of this.

Master Bathroom

I don’t care how nostalgic we as a culture get for the late nineties/early aughts, sponge paint should never come back. One, it’s sponge paint. Two, it is ridiculously labor intensive and frankly we could all be spending our last few years on this still-habitable earth doing something more worthwhile with our time, such as going outside or falling in love or destroying our brains on the internet.

You are seriously not ready for this

When making this picture I realized I desperately need to log off.

Bathroom 2

Computer, enhance.

Ok but you can’t even read that in the shower. If you’re that desperate for prophetic, non-digital bathroom reading material, buy a bottle of Dr. Bronners or, like, a copy of War and Peace.

Basement

Poor Little Julie. :(

Well, that wraps up our interior. Now, for the final frontier, on the frontier:

Rear Exterior

Somehow this house looks more like it’s made out of cardboard than the many, many houses on this blog that also look like they’re made out of cardboard.

Anyways, that does it for Wyoming! Stay tuned for next week’s Brutalism Post, Part II: What Brutalism is Not. Have a great weekend, folks.

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon, ESPECIALLY if you also like donoteat01′s content on YouTube, because we will be doing a livestream collab on Patreon on August 25th, 2019 from 8-10PM EST!!!

There is a whole new slate of Patreon rewards, including Good House of the Week, Crowdcast streaming, and bonus essays!

Not into recurring donations or bonus content? Consider the tip jar! Or,Check out the McMansion Hell Store ! 100% of the proceeds from the McMansion Hell store go to charity!

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs are used in this post under fair use for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2019 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

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Lemme be clear… People can absolutely grow from racism, I encourage you to do so, BUT. Be aware that the things you’ve said in the past that were shitty, were still shitty! And not everyone has to actively forgive you for them. Your incentive to grow and learn to not be a racist douche should not be based on whether or not you’ll receive forgiveness tho it should be based in you making the (good) choice not to be racist and realizing that it’s fucking wrong.

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Reblog if you RP smut

[Here is the link if you do NOT rp smut]

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@retributiion @gravity-lord-rises

Download Link： https://goo.gl/2AkqmG

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Reblog if you Multiship :)

every relationship is in its own verse. no one is cheating unless plotted

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@retributiion

Recent maple arts

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@retributiion You know how do dab now Rix?

Can you please draw Demon dabbing

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YOU CAN READ THEM.

YOU CAN LIKE THEM.

BUT REBLOGGING IS INTRUSIVE.

PLEASE STOP.

[amaranthineshadow]

gravity-lord-rises‌:

Lotus smiled… which turned into held in amusement when she started talking about Arixis doing a ‘fucking terrible job.’

“Really? He comes back covered in blood so often, I thought he was at least doing something helpful!” Well, he was pretty certain Eclipse was messing around, but it was fun to play along. “I’m not sure what I can do, though…”

“Thank you, though! …but can I bother Arixis with you too?” Lotus liked being around the demon – he figured most people would probably feel the opposite, but the spirit felt there was safety when he was around. “He helped me send a glitter bomb to the Black Mage. It was fun.”

"I come back home covered in blood all the time, but if I didn't bring home any salmon, for my cat, then I'm not helping them by not feeding them."

It was true, she could have eliminated her cat's enemies but without that salmon, Ace wouldn't care a soul about it. But she knew Rix was helping... someway... or not... Nah he's not helping- helping himself more likely.

"Wait- you guys sent a glitter bomb to the Black Mage?! Man no fair, I would have totally loved to have done so as well. Glitter is the hardest substance to get off your body and clothing. "

It was true which is why she stayed far away from glitter. She didn't need herself sparkling like a diamond- even though, those reflected- not sparkle.

"I mean, sure. You can tag along with me when I bother him."

She would just make sure it didn't escalate to something not safe for children.

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xmemoriia‌:

The quietest of laughs, little more than an exhale maybe twice the normal size, escapes him─ easily missed, if not for the small smile reflecting such humor up into his eyes. Of course the cat walks through the blood─ he suspects it would kill a bird and track feathers into the house specifically to miff its owner… and, of course, deposit the miserable body on her pillow.

     “ If you insist. ”

He leans down, reaching to pet the little beast’s head and scratch around its ears, though only for a minute─ he’d rather not risk the inevitable retribution so invoked by a cat’s wrath, naturally─ before making his way to the kitchen, setting the giftbag down on the coffee table on his way, and returning with a pair of glasses to fill, as asked.

A few months ago─ maybe even a few weeks ago─ he’d have worried about the fact that he now knows his way around her place so well that he doesn’t even have to ask where she keeps her wine glasses. Now, though, he’s far more worried about the impending battle with the Black Mage, and how, exactly, he’s supposed to tell her about his… mortality problem.

                                          Well, he doesn’t intend to talk to her about it now; that’s a discussion for another day… maybe. Actually, he’d rather not talk about it at all. Just because it’s weighing on his mind doesn’t mean anyone else has to fret over it.

     “ So… ”

He sets the bottle back down.

     “ …are these sorts of break-ins common around here, now? I know      there’ve been some rashes around the outskirts of towns… ”

The cat makes the loudest purr at the feeling of its head being scratched, pushing its head towards the hand scratching it with affection. Making a rather large meow when Eunwol stopped as it kept following him in hopes of more scratches. Moving between his legs and pawing at his legs.

Eclipse, on the other hand, was on the task of using a spell to make the blood disappear from her robes, floor, ceiling, and her cat paws. Not wondering if Eunwol knew where to get the glasses from. He'd been over enough times to know what her combination to her wine safe was.

You just open it.

"Oh, I don't have a clue. I just know they happened to be after my cat, so I just so happened to be after their guts."

She had gotten better at reading body expressions and hidden meaning within people that she could pat herself on the back for. She knew Eunwol didn't come over with a bottle of wine to just have small talk with her.

Nor did he almost likely come over just to get fucked up by her teasing and such. Well, if he did, she certainly wouldn't mind doing so.

"So,

        did you come over for small talk or                                         did you come over to drink and discuss?"

She had managed to make the blood spell work as the blood disappeared from her floor and ceiling- but not from her robe and cat paws. Well fuck, they both would need a bath.

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Hussein Bazaza “Akane” Fall 2017 Haute Couture Collection

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gravity-lord-rises‌:

Lotus zoned in on one part in particular—although, a cat owner was almost just as interesting… She was also a personification of darkness?

“Wait… Does that mean you’re like me?” his eyes widened, staring at Eclipse. She didn’t seem like a spirit, but darkness came in many forms. Still, the only other he knew was Orchid. And then, she asked about him…

“… I’m Lotus – but you probably knew that part already. Other than that, I’m not anyone anymore. Not a commander, yet I can’t even properly help the Resistance now.” Lotus didn’t want to mention how painful wielding even his limited power was, now that he was so weak. “Sometimes I think I’m just some leftover trash from the Black Mage’s plans…” He still wasn’t sure why he survived, why his life was worth anything for the Resistance to save. Orchid was the one that convinced them, but…

Well, he supposed that was why he sat here playing games and reading instead of doing something useful. He looked up at dark mage again, holding up his head with a hand.

“Could I… ask you to visit me more?” Lotus wasn’t sure if she’d oblige, but it was worth asking. He saw the same people every day, and Eclipse surely had many more interesting stories in that head of her’s.

That left her more than a little bit confused. ‘Like me?’ She had to wrack her brain from the history lessons her light side had more than graciously studied. Lotus and Orchid… yeah, they were also a form of darkness. Dark spirits with human bodies. Seemed about right that they would be somewhat of the same… species?                “Ah, yeah. Sure.”

That was the best she could give as she listened to him. Leftover trash from the Black Mage plan huh. She laughed to herself, yeah, so was she apparently, but she gladly showed him what happened when you treat people like so.          “Don’t be hard on yourself. I’m sure in some way that you could help them out. I mean Rix is doing a fucking terrible job at helping but he’s still around.”                            Did she know he was doing an actual terrible job? No. Was she right though? Yes in her own right. To say she was surprised in a sense that he wanted her to come to visit more would be a lie. I mean, not a lot of people wanted her around by the amount of chaos and destruction that she brought along with her. But she could see how he would likely be lonely down her most of the time. She even had gotten to a point where she had to get out the house and do something to get her boredom out.

“Um, sure? I don’t see why not. It gives me more room to bother the fuck out of Rix when he’s here. But I wouldn’t mind visiting you.”

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xmemoriia‌:

     “ Chains through the chest? ” he mumbles. Gross.

He follows her gaze with his, watching the cat pad over and wind itself about his feet, and honestly, that’s about the best part of this situation. It lends a semblance of normalcy─ for whatever that’s worth, coming across such a scene.

The tension in his shoulders relaxes a bit, his expression following suit, and he steps carefully over the black cat ( and the… remnants of bodies strewn across the floor ), closing the door behind him and offering to Eclipse the giftbag in hand.

     “ Do you want help cleaning this up, or…? ”

     “It was either that or something else gory,”

She mumbled a spell underneath her breath, watching as the bodies started to disappear along with their guts that had come out. Not wanting her cat to get a chance to walk over the bodies- But no, the cat had to walk through the bloody floor now that the bodies were gone, that asshole.          “Eunwol no, you bought wine, you don't get to clean.” She wipes her hands off on her robe, thinking of a spell for the blood clean up, the cat following Eunwol ever so closely.

“If anything, pet Ace and pour us some wine.”

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xmemoriia‌:

It registers in his mind that she’s opted for his current ( and only permanent ) place of residence over something less secure, and that, too, helps quite a bit─ though, this realization only comes after he finds himself on his back atop a familiar sofa, and he’s already distracted─ and all the moreso as she climbs on top of him.

He could’ve almost believed the heat in his face had receded upon their arrival here, but it sure didn’t last if it did. Her warmth, her touch, the pressure, the promise in her words─ she plays him so easily; he’s already craving her fingers on his skin, and his own grip the cushions with a tightness that makes all too obvious just how hard he’s trying not to give himself away.

Her question prompts uncertainty. Is she searching for ideas?─ fantasies? He’s certainly solidified a few by now, but to tell her any of them─ he lacks the confidence.

     “ Whatever you want to do. ”

His gaze drops, landing on the finger tracing half-circles on his chest.

     “ I don’t think I’d mind any of it, ” he adds, quieter.

“No no Eunwol~ Your not getting out of this one~”

She comments, watching him slowly unfold underneath her. Having seen his expression and body language at first when he was in a familiar place. This sofa will have lovely memories thanks to her.       “It’s not really what I want to do, more so,                                       it’s what you want me to do for you~”

Yeah, she could do as many things as possible to make Eunwol forget anything and everything but pleasure, but it was always a treat to hear what he wanted personally from his shy mouth.                             “So, what do you want~?”

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Sickly

Mmm, something is in the air. I'm not feeling all that great. Good news, I'll finally be getting my computer on the 17Th so I can stop replying with my phone. Bad news, I feel like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

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Bleeeeugh om niom niomniom blereegh