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she weathered the laughter with an impassive façade. a cool, calm and collected smile that was anything but a smile playing out across her features. as if she didn't feel as though the very axis of the world hadn't just tilted the wrong way. as if she didn't feel the cold, bitterness coiling in her gut as evelyn had the audacity to simply stand there, looking posi-fucking-tively radiant. she always did. every angle, every line of her designer outfit, every strand of hair, always perfectly curated and always tailored for devastating effect. there was a certain amount of twisted irony that a woman that always knew how exactly to draw the eye of the room had perfected the art of simply vanishing when it suited her. "i seem to recall making you weak in the knees plenty without the need for poetry." she recalled more than that. the taste of her salt, the raw, breathy sounds in the dark, the subtle way she would tremble with softness she yielded so rarely. memories kae thought and hoped she'd parted with, suddenly returning unbidden and with avengance. cold, sharp and unyielding. the smile-that-was-not-a-smile widened, becoming thin and strained as she kept herself in the realms of civility. a labour worthy of hercules himself. harder than the gemstone she couldn't help notice bejewelling evelyn's hand like some added layer of mockery. "i would offer a compliment in return, but i don't think you've changed a day." the day evelyn had walked out on her certainly seemed to spring to mind. throwing her aside and whatever relationship they might have had with barely a second thought. whatever love they'd had, or whatever twisted feeling that had passed as such, felt like a long dead, phantom limb at this point. numb. distant. dull to the point kae wondered if it had ever truly existed at all. perhaps it hadn't. perhaps evelyn's departure had done them both a favour. and yet… the casual discard, the silent, brutal erasure of their relationship from the narrative… it felt still felt as visceral now as it had then. "i am also at a loss as to if to i offer you congratulations," she asked, head tilting towards the ring on her hand, "or my condolences to the poor soul you've managed to ensnare this time?"
there's never not something to do about this wedding. evelyn had prepared for it since she was seven, and though the list of vendors had been compiled several times over, there was still not shortage of details to go over until the very date. it's not the first time she comes to the silverpond and it won't be the last, but she's hardly here just to enjoy herself; armed with her binders and agenda, she's only dismissed the usual guide so she can handle the minuntia of what work still has to be done to make the place perfect to hold her enormous wedding herself.
she doesn't see kaede right away. emerald gaze is too concerned with ticking at boxes, and her mind is half-torn between her duties and the glass of golden wine she has allowed herself to partake on, but when you're so close to someone you've shared your life with for years, it's difficult to ignore them — even for evelyn. of course, the thought of their past is not the first that occurs to her. no, the first thing that crosses her mind is that she's glad haru is trapped in a hellish car traffic back in new york rather than being here, a passing witness to his sister and his former sister-in-law's first meeting in over two years.
for a moment, the bewilderment is not something even evelyn can conceal. it shows on the widening of her eyes, the puckering of her mouth, the expectation she holds on her body. then it all breaks as she digest the bitter words, and she can't help the laughter she lets out. "god, kae. where was this clever poetry three years ago? you could have made me swoon." there's no swooning now; there never was, not between them, not anywhere other than between the sheets. "so do you want me to assume you don't want me to ask you how are you are, or to compliment on your hair? you've grown it out, it suits you." and if she makes a point to give her ex a look over, that's no one's business.
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"regular hours, high pay, fancy parties, fantastic complexions... sounds positively dreadful when you put it that way." she deadpanned with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, slouching a little into the comfortably padded confines of her chair. at least the hospital hadn't cut the budget there. not yet, anyway. "thank god we were wise to such things and chose trauma instead." she paused and ventured another mouthful, suppressing the ensuing grimace and urge to scrub her tongue afterwards through sheer stubbornness at this point. fingers tapping an idiosyncratic tattoo on the weathered ceramic mug as she regarded billie for a few seconds before offering another shake of her head. "i don't know about you, but i can't even remember the last party i attended," her lips quirked, "well, unless you count that quote unquote ‘christmas party’ general surgery threw last year. i am not sure i can be quite that charitable personally." another sip, another not-grimace. like most things, it was easier with practice. being born into the kayano family dynasty prepared one the bitter taste of reoccurring disappointments.
"and, no, no legs yet, but i'll try to keep you posted." kae replied with an equal amount of exhausted, wry amusement, allowing another half-chuckle to escape containment as she brought her mug up in silent mock toast. bandying words with billie almost made the lukewarm, brackish liquid within palatable. she almost felt bad for lying about whatever cup this truly was in turn. almost, almost, almost. truth was, she'd long ago abandoned any attempt to chronicle her caffeine consumption. when your natural state existed in the twilight between wired and weary, counting cups of coffee - or whatever masqueraded as such - was as futile of an endeavour as it was never ending. her smirk widened, head tilting to the side with a playful flick that belied the subtle protest her body made at the sudden motion. "well, perhaps not. it strikes me that i'll need someone to serve as a distraction while i make my own getaway first. i don't need to outrun the coffee, only you."
“oh, absolutely,” she said, voice low and threaded with a wry kind of humor, like she’d been waiting for that opening. “i’ve never once claimed i was immune. the only difference is that my bad choices come in sleek cans and questionable life decisions, not… whatever’s trying to claw its way out of that pot.” she tipped her cold brew toward kae in a half-salute before taking a slow pull, letting the cool bitterness burn a path through the fatigue. the kind of drink that didn’t taste good so much as it reminded her she was still awake. she let the can rest on her knee, leaning back in the chair until her spine touched the wall. “dermatology, though—” the word came with a soft huff, “—sure, maybe we’d be rested, moisturized, and rich. perfect hair, predictable hours, skin that glows in fluorescent lighting. but then we’d have to spend the rest of our lives explaining to people at parties why we chose skin over literally anything else. and honestly? i think we’d just find new, more expensive ways to complain.” her gaze flicked to the coffee machine when it let out another ominous cle-clunk, as if agreeing with her. the sound almost made her laugh, but it was the tired kind — the one you didn’t have to work for at three a.m. “four cups is respectable, though. i’ve seen six, maybe seven, on my worst nights. that’s when the edges start to blur and you’re half-convinced you can see through time. conversations loop, your brain makes bargains it shouldn’t, and suddenly you’re questioning if you actually scrubbed in on that last case or just dreamt it while standing upright.” billie took another sip, the cold can clicking softly against the table when she set it down. “but you’re not wrong. we’re both here, middle of the night, running on fumes and caffeine, trying to convince ourselves that endurance is the same thing as balance.” she let her head roll to the side so she could study kae without making it too obvious, her mouth twitching into the faintest smirk. “maybe the only real difference is the container.” a beat passed, her gaze lingering on the steam curling from kae’s mug. “but if that coffee grows legs, i’m gone. you can consider that my official resignation.”
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No, Mom. I… I really don’t want to come to Hong Kong.
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where: the bar, secret ruins. when: sometime after eleven, sometime before midnight. who: serena hyeon | @empyrceans
"secret ruins." she mused absently as she toyed with her drink, swirling the dark, ruby red liquid around in her glass, this way and that as if it held the secrets of the universe. perhaps it did. perhaps she just needed to keep drinking until she found the answers she was after. in vino veritas, after all. "bit on the nose, don't you think?" her attention lifted from her glass, head tilting to the side as she regarded her companion with a faint lilt of a smile. if her wine held the truth, than this woman was most assuredly the lie that came hand in hand. a woman that had brought several prominent people to their knees with the chaos she'd wrought in the upper east side alone. "you know, people are still looking for you back in the city. quite the cautionary tale even now." there was no judgment in her voice. wry amusement, if anything. “and yet, here you are. hiding in plain, suburban sight. i don't know if to be impressed or disappointed.”
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where: the usual hotel, outskirts of town. when: late evening. who: juliette du gast | @serentide
between the soft music and the rain tracing silent patterns across the window, it was hard not to feel a little melancholic as she stood there, watching the faint lights of maple brook glimmer in the distance. a rare momentary lull in a day that had otherwise been bereft of such things. juliette was late. a rare occurrence in an arrangement that was almost clockwork by now. same room, same hotel, same time each week, every week. precise. clinical. detached. romantic? perhaps not, but then this arrangement had never been one borne out of a need of romance. love was a complication neither of them needed. it was them filling the void that such a realisation had left behind. salving that deep seated, hollow ache that words couldn't even begin to articulate so they simply avoided the subject entirely. some conversations were better had without words. or clothes, for that matter. a soft grunt escaped her as she traced a hand over her weary shoulder blades, trying to massage a knot out of them while she waited for that soft, familiar rap of knuckles on the door. she wondered if she should open a bottle of wine. wondered if that would send the wrong message. wondered why she cared. this was just sex, right? cheaper than therapy. easier to contain. a lot more satisfying, too. the bottle gave a gentle whompf as she uncorked it, pouring herself a glass and then, after a flicker of hesitation, another just as the door gave an electronic squark. a subtle warmth bloomed in her chest, a smile creasing her features as she glanced up just in time to see the door open. “we're running on french time, i see. i almost started without you."
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"if it results in a suspension, report away. i could do with the time off. i will even lend you a pen." kae countered with a deceptive lightness she didn't quite feel. this deep into a shift, she was beyond tired; she was weary. her eyelids felt like heavy lead. her bones ached, her muscles lodged formal protests with every minute movement. she simply wanted to be still in a world that required her to be anything but. surgery was a career path filled with irony. you saved lives at the cost of your own. and yet she wouldn't change her job for the world. the actual thought of having time off gave her genuine chills. an unbidden, surprisingly melodic laugh escaped her. her dark, long hair a disarrayed mess as she shook her head. simply too tired to maintain the illusion of perfection she constructed outside of this room. "please. if we had survival instincts, we'd be dermatologists." her gaze flickered towards the coffee machine as it cle-clunked ominously. it was hard to tell if it was protesting billie's comment or if whatever sludge-like mass within the pot had finally gained some measure of sentience. either way, perhaps billie had a point. between the tepid cold war coffee machine, the half-functioning microwave and the fridge that seemed to be more adept at turning food into penicillin cultures than keeping it cool, it was a small wonder any of them survived long enough to operate. perhaps they should start applying that hippocratic oath about doing no harm to themselves first. "if we're just talking bad coffee, then four." that sounded like a reasonable number. inaccurate, but reasonable. four was simply the point where each bad cup of tepid coffee seemed to blur into the next. her fingers drummed thoughtfully against the meagre warmth of her mug. "if we're talking life in general... night's still young. ask me again in a few hours." a tired, wry smile curved at her lips as she brought the very same mug up once more. the resulting sip seeing it waver and flag as the bitterness clung to her palate. the disappointment was almost ritualistically and masochistically familiar at this point. it was strange what seemed comforting this late into a shift. “but before you go casting judgment, i would point out that we've both ended up in the exact same place at the exact same time. seems to me your bad choices aren't that far removed from my own. outside of the coffee, that is."
billie slipped in with the kind of quiet that came from years of knowing that silence was a rare commodity in a hospital. the on-call room wasn’t much to look at — scuffed linoleum, walls that hadn’t seen fresh paint since before either of them started med school, and that old coffee machine humming in the corner like it was trying to remember how to die. she let the door ease shut behind her, the latch clicking soft, but even that felt loud at this hour. her hair was half-loose, the bun at the nape of her neck giving up somewhere around hour twelve. she smoothed an errant strand back behind her ear, eyes drifting to kae and the steam curling from that sad excuse of a coffee. “please,” she said, voice low but edged with amusement, “if you gave me that coffee, i’d have to report you for malpractice. or at least cruel and unusual punishment.” she crossed to the counter without waiting for an answer, bypassing the machine entirely. her bag hit the table with a soft thud, followed by the quiet hiss of a zipper. “i’ve learned,” she went on, fishing out a sleek can of cold brew like it was a contraband treasure, “never trust anything in this room that plugs into the wall. survival instincts.” she cracked it open, the sharp sound punctuating the stillness. dropping into the chair across from kae, billie let herself sink into it in a way she never would outside these four walls — shoulders loose, posture lazy, as if gravity finally had permission to win. “and yeah,” she added, taking a slow sip, “long night. though, i guess at three a.m., the word long starts to lose meaning. it’s just… one unbroken stretch until morning.” her gaze lingered on kae’s mug for a beat, the corner of her mouth twitching. “how many bad decisions have you made tonight, including that one?” there was no judgment in her tone, just the shared understanding of two people too far into the night shift to pretend they were doing anything other than enduring it together. the hum of the old machine filled the brief pause, a reminder that even in the lulls, the hospital never really slept.
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where: surgical on-call room, maple brook general. when: three am, night shift. who: bllie cao | @suturedxsoul
the coffee was as terrible as always. the machine in the on-call room was practically a cold war relic at this point. somehow managing to overheat the beans while underheating the water. yet she cradled it between her fingers like it was a lifeline. a bulwark against the bone-deep weariness that seemed to define her existence at this point. she took a sip, regretted it, and then took another. terrible or not, caffeine was caffeine. her eyes closed for a moment. just a moment. the brief, fragile peace of the on-call room momentarily lulling her into the illusion that she could rest. that she could just let herself fade into... the sound of the door opening startled her back into awareness. her eyes darting towards the familiar visage of her invader. the good doctor billie cao. another lost soul in the trauma surgical department's trenches. "long night?" she asked, as if there was any other kind when you worked in a hospital. the coffee in her cup swirled ominously as she toasted with her mug. it felt colder than it had a few moments ago. she wondered if she'd actually drifted off for a few moments. wouldn't that be bliss. “i would offer you a cup, but i am pretty sure i swore an oath to do no harm.”
#kk.#interactions: kae kayano.#ft. billie thavisin.#suturedxsoul#don't feel the need to match - i yap
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where: the member's lounge, silverpond country club. when: somewhere post brunch. who: evelyn fairmont | @porphyros
after an hour and a half of forced pleasantries and stilted small talk, the clamour of the country club's bar was a surprisingly welcome reprieve. an escape from all the corporate tedium that define maple brook general's governing board. it had been fifteen minutes since kae had slipped away. she wondered if they even noticed. after another sip of her wine, she wondered if she even cared if they had. and then she spotted her. a vision of blonde, beautiful and hellish countenance. her facade of indifference waivered. the wine glass stalling at her lips mid-sip. the air itself seemed to congeal around her, thick and heavy with unwanted recognition and unspoken history. evelyn fairmont. a name that tasted of forbidden fruit and ash on her tongue. a cold, leaden ache settling into old wounds. echoes of tangled sheets and sharp words. already approaching, stalking her like a wounded gazelle, ever the predator, never the prey. it was only stubborn refusal to yield that kept her grounded. a small, polite yet strained smile playing out across her features as she greeted her ex (if that word even applied) in the manner in which she deserved. “evelyn, i would say it was a delight to see you, but..." a bemused smile that was decidedly not a smile; faux civility had ever been the hallmark of the kayano line. "if you're here, one has to wonder who's guarding the gates of hell?”
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( cis woman, sonoya mizuno, she/her ) look who goes there! It’s kae kayano. wait, you don’t know who she is? the 38 year old attending trauma surgeon at maple brook general has been in town for, like, eighteen months. i believe they live around springdale, but i usually see them around parker's bluff. they can be a bit cynical, but i think being perceptive kinda balances them out, you know?
𝒌𝒂𝒆 𝒌𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒐,
𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑠
full name: kaede kayano. nicknames: kae, k. occupation: attending trauma surgeon. birthday & age: april 15th & 38. gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her. orientation: lesbian. languages spoken: english, japanese, french, italian, latin. education: medical doctorate. religion: athiest.
𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒
faceclaim: sonoya mizuno. eye color: dark brown. hair color & style: black, halfway down her back. height: 5'7. build: ectomorph. tattoos: none. piercings: both lobes. scars: thin scar around the base of her left finger. distinguishing characteristics: resting exhausted face. smells like: baccarat rouge 540.
𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦
positive traits: astute, disciplined, practical, resourceful, strong-willed. negative traits: cynical, blunt, judgmental, stubborn, vindictive. likes: astronomy, competition, dining at the granville, espresso, her cat, trashy romance novels, jogging, smoking, wine. dislikes: crowded rooms, emotional displays, her cat (it is complicated), herself (less complicated), iced coffee, mushrooms, travelling. hopes: to find a semblance of a work-balance, to actually sleep more than a few hours. fears: burning out, becoming her parents, never leaving their shadow. tropes: aloof dark-haired girl, broken bird, deadpan snarker, defrosting ice queen, dysfunctional family, high-powered career woman, married to the job, must have caffeine.
𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑
silver spoon: kaede - kae - was born into an immensely wealthy and politically connected family, the daughter of the former us ambassador to japan and an affluent heiress to a hotel chain. from an early age, her life was meticulously and generously curated; private tutors, lavish events, designer labels and expensive holidays in locales as as exotic as they were exclusive. provided she met their lofty expectations, she would want for nothing. nothing save for their approval. the one commodity that seemed in short supply.
gilded cage: when she was old enough to talk back, she was old enough to be carted off to a remote swiss boarding school. an expensive education was just part and parcel of the pre-planned trajectory they had scripted for her, and where better than that classic bastion of the old money elite? the chosen exile for their future little power brokers. heirs to media moguls, political dynasties and financial empires. she learned to navigate them and their treacherous waters with an impeccable facade, retreating into herself, rarely allowing the nascent stirrings of her discontent to surface.
making the cut: an ivy university was the next preordained step. harvard, naturally. her parents were former alumni, the kind with sections of the campus dedicated to their egos, so it wouldn't do to have her attend anywhere but. dean's list, valedictorian, a degree in neuroscience. it was a hop, skip and jump right into their medical school. she followed their plans to the letter, more out of habit than by her own volition, trying to ignore how much it chafed her until...
deviation: accepting a surgical residency at john hopkin's was the first real deviation. a subtle rebellion against their hopes of sending her to the mayo clinic. suffice to say, there was no christmas card signed by the housekeeper that year. the trappings of wealth and power they had raised her within were also the strings they used to punish her when she didn't play her assigned role. the latter choice to pursue a trauma fellowship over neurosurgery, well, that lost her access to the family ski lodge. and now she's throwing it all away to take a position at a podunk facility in connecticut... ?
𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠
has a rather large, temperamental cat named willyce. it tolerates her. one could argue it is also the longest, healthiest relationship she has had.
has been married twice, divorced twice. both times to the same woman. apparently even with that expensive education, some people simply don't learn.
is an insomniac of the highest order. cut this woman and she will bleed caffeine. if she looks perpetually exhausted, it is because she simply is.
is also a chronic overthinker. not that many would know it from the outside. outwardly she's perfected the illusion of being, well, perfect. always on the ball, always at the top of her game. cool, calm and collected. never sweats under pressure. the kind of person that always knows exactly what to do, when to do it, and how best to achieve it. it is only after the fact, when she is alone, when she has time to slow down, that she is overcome by doubts. when she starts to replay every single moment, frame by frame, over and over again. examining, re-examining, second guessing ad nauseam. no wonder she doesn't sleep.
speaks several languages thanks to her fancy, no expense spared education. none of them really come in handy in connecticut.
loves the stars. stargazing is her quiet way to unwind. she often parks her car up near parker's bluff and spends most of the night just staring up at them, as if she doesn't already know each and every constellation by heart. it grounds her.
𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠
the two time ex wife the estranged brother the younger sister (coming soon)
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“Maybe I love too much and maybe I show it too little.”
— r.m.drake (via weltenwellen)
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i cannot remember the last moment i enjoyed without the looming thought of when it will end .
𝑨𝑴𝑪𝑹𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑬 , a private and dependent rp blog written for 𝚖𝚊𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚑𝚚 . written by 𝑎𝑏𝑏𝑦 [ twenty9 / she & they ] . please dni if not a member of the group.
𝒌𝒂𝒆 𝒌𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒐, 𝒎.𝒅. ⸻ intro, interactions, tag.
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