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plant care reminds me to take care

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Bag Dog: Part 3

Thank you for reading! If you’re interested in owning this comic in print form send me a message!

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Bag Dog: Part 2

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Bag Dog: Part 1

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Red Flags

This comic took way longer than expected but I’m happy that it’s done.

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Don’t ask someone with dementia if they “know your name” or “remember you”

If I can, I always opt to ditch my name tag in a dementia care environment. I let my friends with dementia decide what my name is: I’ve been Susan, Gwendolyn, and various peoples’ kids. I’ve been so many identities to my residents, too: a coworker, a boss, a student, a sibling, a friend from home, and more. 

Don’t ask your friend with dementia if they “remember your name” — especially if that person is your parent, spouse, or other family member. It’s quite likely to embarrass them if they can’t place you, and, frankly, it doesn’t really matter what your name is. What matters is how they feel about you.

Here’s my absolute favorite story about what I call, “Timeline Confusion”:

Alicia danced down the hallway, both hands steadily on her walker. She moved her hips from side to side, singing a little song, and smiled at everyone she passed. Her son, Nick, was walking next to her.

Nick was probably one of the best caregivers I’d ever met. It wasn’t just that he visited his mother often, it was how he visited her. He was patient and kind—really, he just understood dementia care. He got it.

Alicia was what I like to call, “pleasantly confused.” She thought it was a different year than it was, liked to sing and dance, and generally enjoyed her life.

One day, I approached the pair as they walked quietly down the hall. Alicia smiled and nodded at everyone she passed, sometimes whispering a, “How do you do!”

“Hey, Alicia,” I said. “We’re having a piano player come in to sing and play music for us. Would you like to come listen?”

“Ah, yes!” she smiled back. “My husband is a great singer,” she said, motioning to her son.

Nick smiled and did not correct her. He put his hand gently on her shoulder and said to me, “We’ll be over there soon.”

I saw Nick again a few minutes later while his mom was occupied with some other residents. “Nick,” I said. “Does your mom usually think that you’re her husband?”

Nick said something that I’ll never forget.

“Sometimes I’m me, sometimes I’m my brother, sometimes I’m my dad, and sometimes I’m just a friend. But she always knows that she loves me,” he smiled.

Nick had nailed it. He understood that, because his mom thought it was 1960, she would have trouble placing him on a timeline.

He knew that his mom recognized him and he knew that she loved him. However, because of her dementia, she thought it was a different year. And, in that year, he would’ve been a teenager.

Using context clues (however mixed up the clues were) Alicia had determined that Nick was her husband: he was the right age, he sure sounded and looked like her husband, and she believed that her son was a young man.

This is the concept that I like to call timeline confusion. It’s not that your loved one doesn’t recognize you, it’s that they can’t place you on a timeline.

What matters is how they feel about you. Not your name or your exact identity.

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I spend a fair amount of time teaching women to kick men in the balls, and I’ve learned that this activity tends to generate controversy. Here, according to actual adults who have actually said these things to me, are some reasons you should not kick a guy in the balls:

1. It will make him angry.

I should hope so. I’m not sending him a friend request. If I kick him hard enough, there’s a good chance I’ll render him unable to act upon his anger. That’s my goal. His feelings are his problem.

2. It will make him hurt you worse.

Statistics say otherwise. And anyway, he’s already demonstrated his desire to hurt me. Why should I give him carte blanche to decide how much he’s going to hurt me? I’d rather be an active participant in that decision-making process.

3. Groin kicks aren’t really that devastating; I’ve seen lots of guys get hit in the balls and it hardly fazed them.

This response (almost universally from men) is so common I’ve come to think of it as “groinsplaining”—you can see it many of the YouTube comments in the videos linked above. These people rarely volunteer to demonstrate their own iron balls in a real kicking situation, but they confidently assert that men in general can shrug off all kinds of damage to the groin. All I can say is, I’ve seen two-year-olds take down grown men via the groin, and toddlers don’t even have any training. I do. I like my odds.

4. We shouldn’t be teaching people how to kick men in the balls; we should be teaching men not to do anything that would make us have to kick them in the balls.

Hey, that’s a great idea! Do you have a detailed, research-based plan for teaching all men everywhere to behave themselves all the time? And do you have funding for your efforts, and buy-in from politicians and community leaders, and a network of trained, experienced instructors who can effect this change? If not, better get started on your grant proposal. In the meantime, I’ll just be over here teaching people how to kick guys in the balls. That’s what I do.

5. Telling people they should kick an assailant in the balls is the same as telling victims who didn’t kick their assailant in the balls that they did something wrong.

No, it isn’t. It’s a practical way to reduce the number of future victims by giving them more viable options to disrupt and survive an assault.

Fact: We have the power to damage the bodies of men who try to hurt us. You’re saying we shouldn’t let people use that power. I’m offering people more choices; you’re trying to take them away.

6. Kicking a guy in the balls just makes the world a more violent place.

Maybe, in the short term. But if it stops him from killing someone, or putting them in the hospital, isn’t that a net win for non-violence? The Dalai Lama thinks so.

One in four women will have good reason to kick a guy in the balls at some point in her life. Luckily, it’s not rocket science. Anyone can do it! And ball-kicking’s efficacy is beyond dispute, as the men of MMA so nobly helped us illustrate here. Gentlemen, if any of you are reading this, and conscious: Cheers, and get well soon (the non-wife-beaters among you, anyway).

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NETFLIX CODES HACK TO HELP YOU

JUST TRIED IT MYSELF, AND CAN CONFIRM IT WORKS.

REBLOG TO HELP

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NETFLIX CODES HACK TO HELP YOU

JUST TRIED IT MYSELF, AND CAN CONFIRM IT WORKS.

REBLOG TO HELP

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Source : Buzzfeed World (Instagram) 

Anthonius Gunawan Agung, a 21-year-old air traffic controller, has died after staying in the control tower to guide a passenger plane to safety during the earthquake in Indonesia last week. Agung made sure that the plane had safely lifted off before he jumped from the crumbling control tower at Palu Airport. He broke his legs, arms, and ribs and died from internal injuries on his way to the hospital. The pilot of the plane, Ricoseta Mafella, told BuzzFeed News people told him Agung refused to leave his post and stayed in the tower waiting for his plane to take off safely. “In this difficult time, during the split seconds of decisions, he waited for me until I was safe before he jumped,” Mafella said. “That’s why I call him my guardian angel.” 

“Batik 6231 runaway 33 clear for take off” this was his last transmission to the pilot, Mafella

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karma got its kiss for me……. thats 2017 in one video

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You’ve got this, every one of you.

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things i didn’t know were caused by adhd

I wanted to make a list of things i do or used to do, of things i often blamed or hated myself for, got into trouble for or made me feel like a failure. hopefully it helps someone <3

I know I must do the thing but I can’t do the thing - I never knew executive dysfunction was something/I had it, but it explains everything. I know people will get mad if I don’t do x, or I’ll have issues if I don’t do it, but I just can’t get up and do it. I always just thought I was lazy, but it’s entirely different. 

Not going to classes. Partly because of exectuvie dysfunction, just not being able to go through the 20 steps to just even get out of the house no matter how much I know I need to. Partly because of all the things around me towards and on the train, to class, the mere thought of these was exhausting. I skipped a lot of classes feeling horrible, guilty, worthless,, stupid, you name it. This was a big issue for me and probably will still be once I go back, but now I at least know the reason why. 

Getting too emotional. I cried all the time as a child. I still cry really easily. I can break down within a minute from being completely fine to an absolute mess. Negative attention is murder- RSD is a big issue. Thought I was just whiny and weak. 

Not cleaning my room. It’s a mess, I hate the mess. I can clean some areas sometimes, and it’s been clean, like… months ago. I know I need to handle it. I just… don’t. 

Stop hobbies, projects, things that I liked, just out of nowhere. Always felt guilty about letting go of stuff so fast.

Lying. “I watched that movie.” “I did the homework.” “I watched what you sent me.” Even if there was nothing negative happening if I was honest, I still couldn’t accept that I “simply didn’t do the thing”. 

impulse. buying. 

“why the fuck am i drained from energy all of a sudden, i feel like i’m gonna crash and literally any sound will destroy me rn”

talking too fast. this was the 1 and often only complaint I get at presentations. 

oversharing, then hating myself for it. 

“how the fuck am I bored with this already i was obsessed ten minutes ago.” 

“i’m going to the store.” *three hours later*. “I think I’m ready- wait what was I buying again.” 

losing my important stuff???? like always????? dk where anything is ever

as a kid I was always preached at because “you always want to be able to do everything right away and if you don’t you get frustrated and stop.” I never knew why this was until now. 

my dad also always got mad because if we’d be looking at a site together I’d already click the button or do stuff before he got the chance to read and it pissed me off

hyperfocusing on either negative things like triggers or buying things that are extremely expensive so i end up feeling egoistic and self-centered. 

“wait so you should actually feel like… more energy after you drank caffeine?” 

and so much more.

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Halloween Bulbasaur made by LV99DOGE

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Today I learned