amiplural

[amiplural]

Two announcements: we're putting up a mod application, but we're also officially going on hiatus.

We were okay health wise just a few weeks ago when we started this blog, but our physical health has nose dived and quite honestly if it gets any worse we will end up likely hospitalized. This is not something we can keep up with right now. We'll answer asks occasionally if we can, but we committed to something that life circumstances have made it impossible to follow through on.

Below is the mod application. If you feel up to applying please do. Our only rules are: you must be part of the plural umbrella, you must be inclusive towards all plurals, and you must prioritize your health over this blog as well to the best of your ability. We hold people to doing their best to take care of themselves (which if you realize you haven't been balancing the two well, we'll never be angry, just encourage you to work to take better care of yourself. Plural nonsystems are also welcome to apply.

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Name/Collective Name (can be username):

Pronouns:

Plural pronoun preference (you&, y'all, yous "you" only, no plural pronouns, etc):

Preferred term for your "alters"/"system" (in quotes for people who may prefer alternate terms):

Plural labels you use (only ones you feel comfortable disclosing):

Why do you want to help mod the blog (doesn't need to be anything complex, just "wanting to help people" is a good answer):

A social media account of yours where you are openly plural and accepting of all plurals (we need this rule currently for safety purposes):

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A good portion of these are just so we can refer to you correctly, and the others are just to ensure you will help continue to make this a safe space.

We're sorry for the inconvenience of the hiatus, and thank you all for your understanding. <2

[amiplural]

Please don't send us asks like this.

It's not the "I need a resource that focuses more on medical/disordered systemhood". Quite honestly, we rely on resources for specifically disordered and traumagenic systems a lot ourselves - because we have DID and are traumaendo with C-PTSD.

But: focusing on disordered plurality does not mean anti-endo. Antiend/o resources for disordered systems hurt disordered systems. We are speaking from direct and indirect experience. We have seen them hurt our friends who became disordered from trauma experienced once they were already systems, among others. We have personally been hurt by the rampant sanism and ableism and just outright denial of our own autonomy or capability to identify, navigate, and communicate the complexities of our experiences.

We'd like to believe this is just an extremely poorly phrased but well-intentioned ask. It may be an english not being their first language thing, or any other number of communication issues.

Unfortunately, we are still people - traumatized people - behind this blog, and for our own safety, that is not a risk we can afford to take right now.

Future anons asking specifically for "antien/do" resources will be blocked.

You are welcome to specify that you'd like our answer to you to focus on disordered systemhood, although please remember we are not medical professionals, we are not in your head, and we can neither legally nor ethically diagnose you.

We will also be happy to link to any endo-safe blogs that simply focus on disordered and/or traumagenic systemhood, though right now, we do not have access to any knowledge our system may have of any.

We're trying to slowly catch up on asks in the order they were received, but we wanted to post this out of order once we had come down from a heightened state. Please respect our boundaries, and block if you need to if this bothers you. Thank you.

[amiplural]

Hi! Recently I’ve been questioning whether I’m plural, (as you might’ve guessed, since I’m sending an ask to this blog, lol) but I’m scared that I’m subconsciously like, internalizing/being influenced by what systems mention about their experiences somehow? (Not sure if internalizing would be the right word, sorry lol)

Anyway, I dissociate a lot— especially recently (I’m a bit stressed form a play that I’m in and that seems to influence it, but that’s not what I’m meant to talking to you about). I’ve jokingly referred to it as going into a ‘video game character mode’, since it feels as if I’m not exactly controlling/experiencing being in my body— like a video game or movie.

The thing about it is, I’m always vaguely aware of what’s happening, it’s just like being numb. The closest I can compare it to is if you suddenly were experiencing the effect of laughing gas? If that makes any sense?

I change my preferred name and pronouns a lot, too, because my personality almost feels like it changes? But it’s still me, I think?

I don’t know, it confuses me a lot and I’m unsure. If you need more information about my experiences to help me with that more, I’ll happily provide it!

—🪷 lotus (just in case)

So, first of all I'd like to reassure you of two things!

One, there is actually an origin term for forming based on being around lots of other systems. Imo, this would be likely to happen due to things like autistic mirroring or "copycat" behaviors that can be caused by any number of types of neurodivergence.

Assimulogenic: An origin of plurality that involves gaining plurality due to assimilation or becoming plural because you are surrounded by plurals, very close with a plural, look up to a plural, or for any other reason one's subconscious would begin to assimilate. This is not a willogenic origin, meaning you do not chose to become plural, but it can be related to a common feeling of whistfulness in *wishing* you were plural or you were like the system that you are close with

However, what's even more common is realizing existing plurality as you start to interact with other systems. This is actually how we initially realized. We met ONE other system and our whole egg carton cracked like it was dropped on the floor xD

What you describe as "video game character mode" does sound like it could be someone switching in while you maintain awareness of the front. Looking into types of plural consciousness, like monoconsciousness, polyconsciousness, and more complicated types may help, though we are EXTREMELY BAD at explaining them (we're sorry! TT).

But yeah, that all makes sense and sounds like pretty classic dissociation. The changing names and pronouns while still feeling like you may be related to where you fall on the median to multiple scale (so, how separated and distinct you are from your headmates) or may have to do with your consciousness type, blendiness, or confronting... but honestly even in extremely multiple systems of any type I feel like this is pretty common. In a sense, you're all you (system) but not necessarily all the same you (individual), if that makes sense?

Anyway, you are welcome to share more experiences if you would like. The policy of this blog is to never tell anyone they are a system (no "I diagnose you with system!" xD) but it's very specifically because we are here to offer guidance but at the end of the day, you know your experiences better than we can.

However, if what you're looking for is just affirmation that you can identify as plural/a system: Yes. If you feel like you are a system, you can. If you're unsure, too, trying the label can help determine if it fits! You often can't tell if clothing fits just by looking at it, and the same goes for labels. You're not hurting anyone or taking any resources by exploring yourself/selves. If it turns out not to fit, no harm has been done, and you've had self-discovery you wouldn't have had without it.

But if it does, you will have found out specifically by trying it, and that's great! Not to throw a platitude at you, but you can do whatever you want forever with these labels. xD

I hope this helps, and want to make sure that this is a safe space. If any other potential headmates of yours want to share their own thoughts or experiences here, they are also welcome to.

It boils down to though, we trust your/y'all's judgment. Take the time you need to explore and figure out and feel secure in your identity. Whether you decide you're plural, or just an ally, we will welcome you here nonetheless <2

PS the name lotus is gorgeous!!

[amiplural]

I've been told by a few people that they think I am plural when I mention my experiences with my 'alternate versions of myself'. They are pretty much me with certain traits of mine exaggerated and more intense. They generally use neopronouns when I generally cannot due to my horrible dysphoria. I've made so many different accounts over the years for these 'alternate versions of myself' to express themselves but it has become such a problem that gmail freaks out if I try to make a new account due to how many alts I've used.

I wonder if it is just realized to my possible ADHD that my psychiatrist thinks I have and has been starting to medicate me for. But I don't know. My brain feels like a mess most of the time.

Hm, it definitely sounds like plurality is a possibility! The first thing that came to our mind is median systems, with how you describe them as alternate versions of yourself rather than highly differentiated separate people. Median systems typically describe themselves as "facets" or "aspects" of a more central identity, though mediple systems which feel both partially median and partially multiple may feel more like separate people while still feeling like alternate versions of each other.

I'm not sure I can speak to the ADHD part, even though we have ADHD, as our plurality and ADHD part are not very related. I would be happy to answer further if you would be comfy explaining more why you think this may be caused by the ADHD!

I'm sorry we don't have more feedback for you. We've been chewing on this ask while sick (rotating it in our head like a blorbo? hm) and I think the conclusion has been that this is what we can come up with, with the info we've been given. If you want more advice though, you are always welcome in our inbox and we will do our best ^^

[amiplural]

Is this blog still alive or nah?

It is! We've just been pretty badly sick (chronic illness flareups) for the past week, so ended up on an unintentional hiatus. The goal is to find some more mods so this doesn't happen, but until then, there may be gaps like this when our health is poor :(

I'm really sorry for the delay!

[amiplural]

Btw, we have seen the asks sent in today! The body's chronic illnesses are flaring up, but we hopefully will be able to get to them tomorrow. ^^

[amiplural]

Not all plurality does involve significantly more struggling than singlethood, though. Nondisordered plurality can be a way of existing that is simply better for some people than being a singlet.

As someone mentioned in the notes, tulpamancy and other created systems are very much a thing that exists. It is entirely possible to become plural, if you aren't already (which is possible, as "wishing to be plural" is a common early feeling when starting to discover your own plurality).

Some brains and bodies are simply healthier and happy with multiple people living in them. And I say this sincerely as a disordered traumaendo system: I would rather have to cope with the trauma-related and dissociative symptoms at their current level for the rest of my life, than ever have not become plural. Not even just that I don't want to pursue fusion or magically become a singlet, but that if my only choices were lifelong severe DID or singlethood, I would pick the DID.

If you want more resources on created systems and tulpas, feel free to send an ask. Either way though, you have nothing to feel guilty about, anon.

And as for the fictive feelings, is it possible you are kin of a specific character? While kintypes and fictives have some significant differences, they're often hard to describe, and so many people mistake them for each other (and I mean technically, a fictive or fictish of a character can kin their source, though this is uncommon).

This all is of course not to say that there are no struggles that come with being plural if you are nondisordered, but rather that singlets have struggles too (not being able to take a break, having to handle everything yourself, and loneliness as listed above being excellent examples). It's the difference between living alone and living with roommates, essentially - some people just do better with one or the other!

is it bad to want to be plural or be a fictive?? we've wanted to be plural on multiple occasions and just tonight i caught myself saying "i wish i was a fictive..." but i always feel horrible because i convinced myself it's just romanticizing it... is that accurate or do i have something deeply wrong with me?

it's not bad, and it's common (for both of those things)

it's valid to want to be someone else, or to want a break from life, or to want someone who's always there to talk to you, or to want to have someone else take over to protect you sometimes. even if you know and understand the struggles that come with being plural, it's valid to think that that doesn't matter in comparison to the benefits, and that's not romanticisation.

and I think everyone, even people who don't know what fictives are, has wanted to be a fictional character at least once in their life. it's valid to want to possess certain qualities of a character, or to want to have a different outlook on the world, or to want anything else that they have that you don't. it's valid to want to have a past different from your own, or to have a solid identity you can go back to when you lose yourself, or anything else that can come with being a fictive. even if a character has struggles and a traumatic past, it's valid to want to think of that as your past and your struggles, rather than remembering your own past (even if maybe the character's past is worse that yours, because at least it's not yours).

if you understand the struggles, then I'm going to assume that the only reason someone would want to be plural or a fictive is for escapism because they're struggling with something already. so rather than call yourself a bad person or think there's something wrong with you, it'd be much more helpful to recognise that you want these things for a reason. then you can get to the root of the problem so you can figure out what you should do about it.

[amiplural]

thoughts on a singlet(?) whose emotions/emotional states have distinct genders & vaguely-kinda-mostly chose human names for themselves?

these names/genders are consistent and distinct, and may have several of them ‘covering’ different aspects of the same emotion, or may have one covering different (but related) emotions. they’re not truly autonomous, don’t talk/communicate with me, aren’t present all (or even most) of the time, and don’t do things that surprise me. the most unexpected they get is when they suddenly change and my gender shifts suddenly & i’m comfy/prefer a different name

- 🌊 (in case i ever figure it out and update y’all, lol)

Hm, well, first thoughts are that plurality and singlecy are both spectrums, ones that don't exactly have a clearly defined boundary, and it sounds like you are somewhere in that grey area.

You may find the term parasian helpful - a term that refers to median systems who are towards the singlet end of the plural spectrum.

You may look into servitors, something I believe even singlets can commonly have, iwrc.

You may also want to examine the diagnosis of Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder and corresponding nondisordered neurodivergence of Immersive Daydreaming to see if these may actually be paras, as our understanding is that paras tend to not have the autonomy that headmates do, with the exceptions of paratives/paragenic systems.

It is also possible that you could be a singlet experiencing something akin to IFS naturally, have a desire to use multiple names due to gender or alterhuman reasons - and may even experience your emotions as compartmentalized in this way for alterhuman reasons as well. (Alterhuman encompasses plurality as well, but is a wider umbrella label, and you may fall elsewhere under it.)

The label pluralflux may also be somewhat meaningful.

Plural nonsystem especially stands out to us from your description, as it can include non-autonomous parts or even states - the wiki entry specifically says states as in BPD, but my experience with BPD even outside of plurality sounds like it may simply be the disordered version of what you may experience in a nondisordered way (or possibly disordered as well, I can't tell from the ask).

Some further thoughts that may be helpful: You could easily label yourself plural or singlet according to what is the most helpful framework for conceptualizing your own consciousness(es).

Do you have any desire to be plural? Would you (a) like these parts of you to be more separate, have more autonomy, and be responsive? Would you (b) prefer they be more integrated with less autonomy? Are you (c) perfectly happy existing as you are now?

If the answer is a, you may want to look into tulpa/willogenic creation guides. If b, IFS may still help, as might looking into fusion. If c, you're golden, just try to balance your desire for a label with the time it takes to find one that settles comfortably on you.

Remember that labels are just to help us best understand ourselves. There's no getting it wrong. If a label fits or seems to fit for a time and then is no longer useful, it still helped us for that period, and we can Marie Kondo it and thank it for its service to us before discarding it. Going into a label knowing it may not be permanent - like a relationship, that it may be a fling or lifelong, can be helpful in being gentle and patient with ourselves as we figure it out.

You are welcome to ask further questions about any of this, and if you do settle on a label (or lack thereof), we'd always be happy to hear about it! We hope any of this may be helpful and wish you besf of luck in figuring it out. ^^

-🌙/🌕/🥞/🖤

[amiplural]

We are here now and happy to help!

alright, we've decided we won't be accepting am I plural asks from now on, we'll add the current ones in our inbox to the queue to be handed off to the public, but anything after that will be deleted

we're also asking for active blogs (preferably non-personal plural blogs but it could be others) who would be willing to accept those kinds of asks. we're gonna compile a list of them and other resources, and link it on our pinned post

[amiplural]

Plurality can be defined as the experience of being multiple people or autonomous parts within a single body.

We're here to help people who are questioning if they might be plural. We do not judge or apply labels, but simply suggest labels to those asking for them to explore. We offer affirmations and suggest further self-exploration to those unsure of how to determine the identity that fits them best.

All origins and disordered/nondisordered systems are welcome here. This is a positive space, so we will not post hateful syscourse here.

This blog is run by a mixed origin traumaendo DID system. We are open to other endosafe mods joining us.

DNI: We don't have a DNI, as we are meant to be a resource. However, repeated harassment of us or people on our posts will net a block. Be kind.