amirahawkpaw - Tumblr blog

[amirahawkpaw]

real sso players remember when there was only One pair of pants with +5 riding in the game

[amirahawkpaw]

I don't know what I'm more afraid of, that Raptor won't have had a single update to his model leading to overwhelming complaints about inconsistent game style, or he'll have been completely yassified leading to overwhelming thirst the likes of which haven't been seen since Ydr*s.

[amirahawkpaw]

maybe I'm the only sso player with religious trauma but "surrender your spirit to Aideen" is giving mmm no I don't think I will

[amirahawkpaw]

sso loading screen text "remember that knowledge is power".... imagine the power if the writers knew the lore of the game

[amirahawkpaw]

So. Star Stable's Spotify header.

I saw this on a little trip to SSO's Spotify page to see if they'd released any music without announcing it again and went hm. This looks kind of weird. I sure hope they haven't stooped so low as to use AI for their promo material. And then I looked closer.

First thing I noticed was the stirrups. Or, should I say... "stirrups".

Did they like... employ someone who doesn't know how tack works? What IS that? Also I'm only noticing this as I'm writing the post but why on earth does the boot not have proper laces or eyelets

And what the fuck are these weird straps on the saddle? And the guitar straps aren't attached to the guitar?? Actually... it can't be... but let me look at the hands. Just real quick

Uh. hm. that's not very hand. Are they fucking using AI

OH BOY.

The bit and the reins are... not properly attached to one another, just welded together. The noseband just disappears. The buckles at the top of the bridle don't really exist and the chin strap doesn't fit properly at all. The reins are double on one side, but not the other, and one or both of the reins on the far side almost look attached to the breast collar - or they're just being held a lot looser than the near side rein. Also, you need a very specific type of bit to use double reins, which is not the type of bit that's on this bridle. Or maybe the two weird straps are supposed to be a fucked up martingale, and that's why they're attached to the breast collar? But then why does the horse only have one rein? Also the martingale is attached wrong if that's what it's meant to be, see below (it's never attached directly to the bit). The breast collar is also attached to the underside of the saddle, rather than the saddle itself like it should be. The horse's front shoulder looks like it's drawn by someone who doesn't know very much about horse anatomy, or... y'know... AI.

The cart isn't fucking attached to the fucking horse. Poor guy is dragging that thing along with one singular back leg.

The keyboards all have the wrong number of black keys in the wrong places. And also those knobs do not look right. Oh, and something is DEFINITELY wrong with that drum kit.

And also just look at this fucking horse. Yeah, it's passable as a horse, but have you seen the quality of SSO's horses and horse art??? This isn't even anywhere CLOSE to that

So yeah uh, SSE used fucking AI art for their spotify banner. I feel like this is the greatest punch in the gut they could've possibly sent their laid-off artists' way. You cannot defend this.

[amirahawkpaw]

deleted the old post cause i realized i could make it funnier

[amirahawkpaw]

Goodbye Crustin </3

Rest in piss bbg✨

[amirahawkpaw]

oh quest text calling mrs holdsworth my fairy godmother, i love you.

[amirahawkpaw]

Just discovered that running over penguins now adds +5 seconds to your race time. Gone are the murderhobo days

[amirahawkpaw]

The End

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･⋆ ･

🔥 Sabine's reign — Cobra Queen 🔥

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･⋆ ･

[amirahawkpaw]

holy shit they might be bringing snow back this winter?!?!???

[amirahawkpaw]

NOT STAR STABLE ONLINE CALLING HORSE GIRL A SLUR AND IN REPLIES SAYING "MOVEMENTS CAN CO-EXIST" IN CONTEXT OF BLM/LGBTQ+ MOVEMENTS AND THEIR MARKETING SCHEME 😭

[amirahawkpaw]

[amirahawkpaw]

Star Stable: cracks knuckles 

Star Stable 2023: 

Hey Star Fam! You asked for a more REALISTIC game so we’re bringing it to you! 

Starting in 2023- In addition to weight limits- NO MORE FRIPP! Squirrels don’t talk and there’s no such thing as cosmic beings! No more magic! No more Powers! 

Next to go is Pandoria! We made it up! Therefore- NOT REAL! 

We’ll continue the Party by making it so that there are DIRE consequences for NOT FEEDING OR WATERING YOUR HORSE! Also, hehe wait til you see what we have in store for when you #CrazyHorseGirls decide to fall off cliffs (tw animal death)

And finally- We hope you/your folks are rich cause we’re matching prices to those in the real world! Get ready to pay thousands of ACTUAL dollars for your new steed! Yay! #REALISBETTER! 

also - capitalism wins! #stopaskingforrealism 

[amirahawkpaw]

the new soul rider quests

[amirahawkpaw]

sometimes I forget that not every sso player is deeply emotionally invested in the storyline - a couple of players didn’t even know the general personalities of the Soul Riders I-

aka we’re all proud lore-hungry nerds here on ssoblr

[amirahawkpaw]

since everybody been having sso dreams, my brain hopped on the bandwagon and I dreamed sso introduced pegasus horses

They were perfect. in color and anatomy, and the wings were gorgeous. there was a white (grey) horse and a palomino tobiano, which had a curled mane and tail. I got to take the white one out for a test fly and the flying mechanics were so dreamy....

I woke up thinking 'oh shit lemme grab my wallet so i can buy one' and then i WOKE up woke up and immediately was very sad lol