amna-pari96-blog

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Be up in that shower like

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Dear shady men who message me “Assalam-u-alaikum” to start a conversation thinking I would absolutely have to respond to that or I would get gunah: 

I’d rather add to my long list of gunahs than talk to you, so gtfo, thanks.

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Masjid-Al-Haram, Makkah.

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Check our Facebook Page

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People’s souls are like gardens. You can’t turn your back on someone because his garden’s full of weeds. You have to give him water and lots of sunshine.

Nancy Farmer, The House of the Scorpion (via themotivationjournals)

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It’s officially been a year since I graduated from college as a chemical engineer and yet I haven’t done all the things that I thought I would have. That is exactly how life works, you think that finding a job won’t be hard, you’ll be a working professional in a big shot company just because you are an engineer, you think everything will be provided to you easily but all those things don’t happen. They don’t happen because they are not meant to happen, if getting a degree required years of work and effort then why will anything afterwards to be any different. I’m saying this in the most optimistic and positive way for people just graduating, know everything takes time. Getting your degree took time then why won’t finding a job a take time. Yes, some majors are more challenging than others and they end up paying more but you won’t find that dream job on day 1️⃣ And you won’t be where you had planned in the next year and that it is completely OK to be in that position. You’re not alone and you won’t be stuck here forever either😌 On that note, congrats to all the new graduates 🎓

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‘‎ضبط ٹوٹا ہے نہ ٹوٹے گا کبھی  دل میرا میرے جذبات سے کھیلو گے تو تھک جاو گے

Zabt toota hai na tootay ga kabhi dil mera Mere jazbaat sey khailo gey to thak jao gey (via barg-e-sehra)

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My blog posts relatable quote pictures! Follow for more.

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My blog posts relatable quote pictures! Follow for more.

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“Jo Humein Paa Ke Bhi Khone Se Bahut Pichhe Tha, Hum Usay Kho Ke Bhi Paane Se Bahut Aage Hain”

- Zeeshan Sahil

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In Jannah there is no sun, moon, night or day, but morning and eve will be known by a light appearing from Allāh’s Throne.

Ibn Taymiyyah’s Fataawa (v.4, p. 312)

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HASNAIN LEHRI CAN YOU NOT OHMYGOD I CANT

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Noor Mahal Palace in Bahawalpur, Pakistan. “It was built in 1872 inspired by an Italian chateau. It belonged to the Prince of Bahawalpur during the British Reign. The design encompasses features of Corinthian and Islamic styles of architecture with a tinge of subcontinental style.” Photo by: khadeejasalar

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Look at that beautiful smile! An artisan is creating traditional baskets in Islamabad, Pakistan. Photo by: ehtisham_ahmad

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Don’t we all? 😂

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Questions Girls Should ask about their Rishta: Ihazdesiissue’s guide to not getting screwed over (Part 2)

Here is the link to part 1:  (http://ihazdesiissue.tumblr.com/post/154276984795/questions-girls-should-ask-about-their-rishta)

Welcome back to my guide of not getting screwed over! I am your host, @Ihazdesiissue. Please make yourself comfy because this is going to be a long read. 

So, after reading my last post, you thought it was crazy, I am about to feed you some more. 

Now, In the desi culture, girls are not given the right to choose their husbands. They are expected to shut up and accept whatever is given to them. And be grateful because they are taught they are burdens. And if you fight the elders, they try to pull out the traditional card or this happened to me so it’s gonna happen to you card. At his point you need to say SO?. You are not a burden, and you have a choice.

It is your body. Not the person who pays for it the most to have it or what your family’s rule on your life. And you have human rights despite what dumb dumbs say. No man has a right to force you to marry him nor do your parents. If they are forcing you to marry a man against your will, take it to the authority. In my own case, my family is against me, and I have had to taken it up until death threats to get them off my back for a few rishtas. 

But let’s hope my knowledge won’t take you that far. Shall we begin the questioning process?

First I want you to ask yourself some questions:

1) What do you want out of a guy?

I learned this the hard way. Don’t expect him to be perfect. Don’t expect that rich guys are pricks, but some are. Don’t expect poor guys not to be pricks, but some are not. Don’t be too narrow minded of their personality. Don’t judge them of their past either. The moment you two tie the knot is what should matter because even though his past life might have been in a deep pit, or on a mountain, he choose you. 

Also, don’t expect to change him after marriage. I, also, thought that I could change a guy’s way of life by influencing him. But I got hurt in the end trying. He (and if you believe in God) can change himself. No one else. You can advise him, people can advise him and etc. But until he chooses to change then he’ll change. 

Instead, try to think about growing with him. Supporting him. Being there for him. It will do wonders. And change yourself to help you adjust. This doesn’t mean that you let go of stuff you like but to make room for new!

Also, the way he looks should be kept in mind. It’s good if you have no preference. But if you have one that is good too! Don’t let anyone tell you other wise. It isn’t racist or anything. It’s your body remember, not theirs. You don’t have to let anyone near you that you don’t want. You are human.

My preference is a fair skinned desi guy but I still have some exceptions. I don’t care what he does for a living as long as he is a good guy. And It is looked down upon to have a prefance, but don’t let people tell you what you like is wrong. It’s not. They are wrong. If you like a certain type of guy, go for it. No right or wrong in this. 

And do not forget about age range! You can find your ideal man in all age ranges but if you don’t want to either end up with an old man or a little kid (in rare cases) then make it clear what your accpetalble age range is! Think about the people you get a long with. Personally, I get along with someone who is either younger than I am or max 6 years older. Past that, I get in arguments with them if they are older. Younger, I just am like this kid is weird because I cannot correct them easily because in my brain I think of them as a kid and think they’ll learn. But my age range shouldn’t stop you if you like other ages or just want to marry someone exactly the same age as you. That’s up to you!

2) Where do you see yourself in a few years? 

Don’t let marriage halt you in things you like and want to achieve. It isn’t worth giving up your dreams for a man that cannot tell the difference between a gray sock and black sock. Unless it is your dream to be the best house wife. It was mine once. But not any more because I learned I don’t need to serve man to get money. However, because I still want kids, I am willing to put up with him a bit. 

3) What are your fears?

It’s good to question what is scaring you about this rishta, or of marriage in general. 

My own personal fear is him not liking me, and treating me like crap. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, and seeing other women salve and loose personality to serve men is why I am not happy about getting married. 

Even though I want kids, and a companion. The fact of him expecting me to do everything while he goes out and has fun and expecting me to be happy sitting at home is something I disagree about. 

And it’s ok to have fears. Then you can find ways to tackle them! But being fat before marriage shouldn’t be a fear! If a guy doesn’t like you because you’re a bit chubby, drop him! When he get’s old, you’ll know he’ll be chubby.

Heck, I am chubby, but I don’t care, I still attract good looking guys that are way out of my league. 

4) What is your definition of marriage?

Yes! You need to ask yourself this! You also need to understand that marriage isn’t 50/50 or 20/80 or 10/90 or 100/0. 

I, personally, think that it is one taking care of the other. And also respecting each other’s space. Not thinking one is better than the other. Equals in their humble places. Somedays one will give 90% and other days 10%. We are supposed to fill each other’s gap. I don’t expect to be over worked to make someone’s life more enjoyable. I.e. taking care of one another.

This question is a must! Because our family can influence our thinking in many ways but don’t forget you are allowed to have a life of your own choice! Support yourself! Think about how you want to live your life with your future partner! 

Think about what you would like to change about the way you were raised. Think about the mistakes your parents made and what you could do different to avoid conflict! Think about religion, think about interests, think about openess, and etc. Think about what you want to progress your life with.

Think about the kids you want, or want to adopt. Or if you don’t want kids. Or whatever. 

Understanding your view is more important than understanding others. 

(This is a representation of your soul with you. Because you are one but it is good to reflect on yourself because you know yourself better than anyone else.)

Now we are moving on to Questions you should ask your parents. Yes, those scary beings that don’t like to talk about these things so openly because they were raised differently. 

Trust me, my current rishta going at the time. I was afraid to ask my mom about him. Two months ago, I was in Canada. And a week before, his picture came with his details. But to this day, I cannot find a single social media on him. No one in my family knows of him either. It’s like he popped up out of the blue. He is even the ideal guy for girls like me. Fair, 5′8 and 28. The poor child is also hand raised by his mother. So, the only reason why I am giving him a chance is because he wants to come to the states from Europe. And I find it odd because being a European Citizen, why would you want to move to USA? I had a few other rishtay come through. But they were of all old people. It would end at the age question. I give more openness to guys closer in age. 

But if not asking these questions, and doing istakhara (meditation, in general), I wouldn’t be even getting a chance with this current guy. The other guys I was mentally told to turn down, until it came to this guy. My brain said don’t turn him down. 

We will continue this session after a chai break in Part 3 on what questions to ask your parents and his parents!