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[amomentagainsttheblue]

July 2020

[amomentagainsttheblue]

July 2020.

[amomentagainsttheblue]

Alanya, July 2020. 

[amomentagainsttheblue]

List n°11 of words I like:

Inscape: the unique inner nature of a person or object as shown in a work of art, especially a poem.

[amomentagainsttheblue]

Stay for me there: I will not fail To meet thee in that hollow vale. And think not much of my delay: I am already on the way.

-Henry King, Exequy on his Wife

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An Irish Airman Foresees His Death

I know that I shall meet my fate Somewhere among the clouds above; Those that I fight I do not hate, Those that I guard I do not love; My country is Kiltartan Cross, My countrymen Kiltartan's poor, No likely end could bring them loss Or leave them happier than before. Nor law, nor duty bade me fight, Nor public men, nor cheering crowds, A lonely impulse of delight Drove to this tumult in the clouds; I balanced all, brought all to mind, The years to come seemed waste of breath, A waste of breath the years behind In balance with this life, this death. -William Butler Yeats

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After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises, 

And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, 

And you learn to build all your roads on today Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn...  That even sunshine burns if you get too much. 

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,  Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. 

And you learn that you really can endure... That you really are strong And you really do have worth... And you learn and learn... With every good-bye you learn.

- You Learn, Jorge Luis Borges

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“So plant your own garden and embellish your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” 

-Jorges Luis Borges.

[amomentagainsttheblue]

List n°10 of words I like:

Eschew: deliberately avoid using; abstain from.

Bountiful: large in quantity; abundant.

Implacable: unable to be stopped; relentless. Precarious: not securely held or in position; dangerously likely to fall or collapse. dependent on chance; uncertain.

Tenuously: very weak or slight.

Incursion: an invasion or attack, especially a sudden or brief one.

Fallible: capable of making mistakes or being wrong.

Transient: lasting only for a short time; impermanent.

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I am like a flag unfurled in space,  I scent the oncoming winds and must bend with them, While the things beneath are not yet stirring,  While doors close gently and there is silence in the chimneys And the windows do not yet tremble and the dust is still heavy–– Then I feel the storm and am vibrant like the sea And expand and withdraw into myself  And thrust myself forth and am alone in the great storm. 

- Presaging, Rainer Maria Rilke - 1875-1926

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Again and again, however we know the landscape of love and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names, and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others fall: again and again the two of us walk out together under the ancient trees, lie down again and again among the flowers, face to face with the sky.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

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“And if you ask how I regret that parting? It is like the flowers falling at spring’s end, confused, whirled in a tangle. What is the use of talking! And there is no end of talking— There is no end of things in the heart.”

― Ezra Pound, Cathay

[amomentagainsttheblue]

I am praying again, Awesome One

by Rainer Maria Rilke

I am praying again, Awesome One.

You hear me again, as words

from the depths of me

rush toward you in the wind.

I've been scattered in pieces,

torn by conflict,

mocked by laughter,

washed down in drink.

In alleyway I sweep myself up

out of garbage and broken glass.

With my half-mouth I stammer you,

who are eternal in your symmetry.

I lift to you my half-hands

in wordless beseeching, that I may find again

the eyes with which I once beheld you.

I am a house gutted by fire

where only the guilty sometimes sleep

before the punishment that devours them

hounds them out into the open.

I am a city by the sea

sinking into a toxic tide

I am strange to myself, as though someone unknown had poisoned my mother as she carried me.

It's here in all the pieces of my shame

that now I find myself gain.

I yearn to belong to something, to be contained

in an all-embracing mind that sees me

as a single thing.

I yearn to be held

in the great hands of your heart--

oh let them take me now.

Into them I place these fragments, my life,

and you, God -- spend them however you want.

[amomentagainsttheblue]

Heath Ledger and Christina Cauchi.

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Heath Ledger behind the Camera.

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The departure – Franz Kafka

I ordered my horse to be fetched from the stable. The servant did not understand me. I went into the stable myself, saddled my horse and mounted it. In the distance I heard the sound of a trumpet, I asked him what that meant. He knew nothing and had heard nothing. At the gate he stopped me and asked: “Where are you riding to, master?” “I don’t know,” I said, “just away from here, just away from here. On and on away from here, only in this way can I reach my goal.” “So you know your goal?” he asked. “Yes,” I replied, “I’ve just told you: ‘Away-from-here,’ that is my goal.” “You have no provisions with you,” he said. “I need non,” said I, “the journey is so long that I must die of starvation if I get nothing on the way. No provisions can save me. Fortunately, it is a truly enormous journey.”

[amomentagainsttheblue]

Yesterday was the first day I held a camera after a 3 months intermission. For someone who isn’t that prolific with their practice, that period may not have been the longest but it felt like it because of how intimidating it seemed to hold the camera again. Other than having a creative block, I was really struggling with being concious with my work. After spending many years taking pictures lightly without too much thought, being tied to a certain theme and a certain timeframe really tested my limits and showed me how much of what I do is driven by by a series of spontaneous events colliding with being fully ready and immersed in the moment. I guess we all go through moments of having our limits tested, the important thing I realized is to return, to always return with the a light heart open for the challenges ahead.