amontournesol

[amontournesol]

i feared of abandoning you the most.

so instead i hurt you in another way. just exactly the same way, twice. twice i ignore your cry, twice i ignore your red sign, twice i showed you the side of me i dont want anyone to know, twice i dont listen to your warning.

it will hurt so damn fucking much im such an idiot piece of trash an asshole a bastard a fucking coward, oh poor you, you poor soul. im so sorry. it felt so hurt but, isnt this something that i want? you hate me for good now. i really made it come true. i want you to hate me when i die. so you wont be sad when im gone. because you hate me so much you will be happy when i die. you will feel relieved there is another shitass stupid person who hurt you gone. you will feel happy i finally be dead.

you will never see this, i am sure with a life i shortly wont have.

[amontournesol]

i thought i've known you enough to know what would you feel.

this is the second time. im not checking twitter at all cause i know i will message you. if you ever stumble across this post out of curiousity or anything. do remember none is your fault. you never, ever make a single sin to me.

auréline, dont ever. ever. think youre not enough. you keep apologising to me when it is not your fault. princess, none is your fault.

i miss you so much. im worried about you. i worry if your tummy still hurt. i hope it doesnt.

why did i leave you? it is not because youre disgusting or any bad thoughts you have on yourself.

i told you before. im an egoistic assholes. im only thinking of myself. and for this time, when i will reflect back to what i have done. all the paid karma. i will be toxic as fuck. i will hurt you and hurt you again. it is better for me to stay away from you. opening a door for someone to take care of you well, someone who will not what i did to you. someone better. they will come. you've been through the evil of life, angels will come and hug you. i believe. i always.

i love you. always.

[amontournesol]

i feel like dying.

the sound of your nothingness is killing me.

[amontournesol]

i don't know if you'd still remember i made this whole post for you yet im still doing this. i cant sleep again, i miss you. i miss you so much. i want you i want you and never her. it's you auréline i fall in a deep love for you.

[amontournesol]

I love listening to you.

[amontournesol]

the soft spoken words.

[amontournesol]

the cute laughter.

[amontournesol]

the funny noises you made when you are annoyed.

[amontournesol]

[amontournesol]

i also love hearing your tease.

[amontournesol]

your victory cry.

[amontournesol]

your pure joy.

[amontournesol]

soft or loud they soothe me.

[amontournesol]

for me, your voices are the most beautiful sound in the universe.

[amontournesol]

[amontournesol]

but oddly said, i also love the dark sound you made.

[amontournesol]