Why am I still heartbroken over someone who doesnât even think of me anymore?Â
You were so special to me, and now you're gone I realize this even more.Â
I havenât dated, I havenât been with anyone, I have just been depressed every single day since you said goodbye.Â
Nothing feels the same, nothing feels right, itâs like something died inside of my heart and will never be the same.Â
Why did I meet you if the pain and suffering of you leaving me would feel like impending death. I didn't do anything to deserve this. I used to believe in love.
I hope this pain wonât always be with me. If so, I will never recover from this loss.Â
Feeling the waves of emotion as they wash over me -
I wonder, is it normal to cry because you are feeling so happy inside and with where you are in life that all you can do is cry? I feel my heart begin to heal when he comforts me in the most sensitive and pure ways he knows how and with these tears of happiness I cry, I can feel a light pouring in through the cracks of my heart and it pulls me out of the darkness to be well, me again, happy me.
He loves me. I love him. He is what makes my heart feel so full and my soul deeply connected that it doesn't know how to process these emotions. I didn't know love like this could ever exist for me, but I knew I hoped for it. I constantly ask myself âDo I deserve a love like this?â The answer I say to myself is âof course I do, you deserve to be happy and live a beautiful lifeâ.
When the world seems so at odds with itself and there is a cycle of never-ending negativity in the world, I am more calm than ever. Why? Well on this earth of hundreds of millions of people in the year of 2020, I can say I am his and he is mine and this brings me comfort. He is my center, bringing balance, positivity, and peace into my life. I then realised I am the maker of my troubled thoughts, behaviours, and patterns, and I am truly grateful for this lesson. I reflect on myself in critique and do not turn a blindeye to my shortcomings for now I can start seeing them for what they are and fix them to become better each and every day, for not only me but for the man I love. đ
In London, Dermot Mulroney ran into one of Riverâs drug friends, a screenwriter, and slammed him against a wall. âThis is how I feel about Riverâs death,â Mulroney said. âHow do you feel?â â Esquire Magazine, March 1994