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heinrich i am so fucking sorry but you are the babygirl to end all babygirls. you are so very scary but also i want to have a cup of hot chocolate with you

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I love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol

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popular "average monkey learns one new thing a day" statistic incorrect. Curious Georg,

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its awesome theres a vampire on sesame street because you need to introduce children to the concept as early as possible

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lmfaoooo wtf

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Hey everyone, remember that being sick or healing from injuries is a hard time for your body. You have to eat a lot and lay still and be kind to yourself! [large neon sign that says HYPOCRITE descends from the ceiling and points at me] Hey what the heck what's this who put that there

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What are you even supposed to eat for dinner

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apparently I’m playing skyrim again… and by “playing skyrim” I obviously mean “spending hours installing mods before I ever open the game”

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The oldest trick in the book. Don't fall for it. Credit: @ourrevolution

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are you a “filters tags from my mutual’s new obsession” Tumblr user or are you a “learns about their new obsession (semi-forcefully) by osmosis” Tumblr user

there is a correct answer

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yeah

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1k words with inspiration: literally 10 minutes or less of writing. a breeze

1k words without inspiration: i will do it. i will take the ring to mordor

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Me: dang I hate how my voice cracks on the chorus of Pink Pony Club but the rest of the song is so good.

Six-year-old at karaoke: I only know the chorus. Because I’m six.

Me: this was destined to be.

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Every time someone says "we need a new political party in America to represent all the people in the center!" I am reminded of the Dutch Centre Party aka the owners of one of the funniest opening lines of a wiki article: