an-elvish-disquiet - Tumblr blog

[an-elvish-disquiet]

So many people seem completely unaware of what a genuine apology is.

And that's because children are forced to say sorry on command.

Before they ever had a chance to process what they did, why they did it, what effect it had on others, or what they should have done instead, they're expected to say that they're sorry. And they're expected to "say it like you mean it" with no indication of what that even means and with no time to figure out how to phrase it correctly.

Sometimes, even when the child's actions are justified by any logical reasoning, they're expected to apologize because an authority figure demands it.

The goal of saying sorry ends up being solely to avoid punishment. And they phrase the apology in whatever way the authority figure will accept.

The result is an entire society filled with people who give completely useless apologies that appear like they're only trying to avoid punishment.

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5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.

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How was my doctor like "okay we'll try ADHD medication but we gotta be careful cause it's addictive" when I'm going through my day like "shit I forgot my meds. Shit I forgot my meds. Shit I forgot my meds. Shit I f

[an-elvish-disquiet]

a story with that cyberpunk theme of “are you really human if you modify your body to gain power“, except the body modification is just strength training.

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it’s sad that something as beautiful as plastic surgery is being commercialized and commodified like this….

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A woman went viral for being turned down for a next interview for a role, she asks the recruiter what she did wrong, the recruiter tells her they were “concerned about her lack of effort in her appearance.”

She explains she wore a freshly ironed blazer with a collared top. Her nails were painted a professional beige. She got a blowout for her hair, so a professional style. She had on subdued gold earrings.

The only thing she wasn’t wearing was makeup; she states she really doesn’t wear makeup, and only had chapstick on, as her skin is sensitive. Her lawyer mother has already explained she has no legal case against the company for any type of gender-based discrimination.

Just in case anyone wants to ask why feminists still refer to the “pink tax” or rail against more and more elaborate makeup trends being pushed on girls and women.

Women being punished socially for not wearing makeup is still a feminist issue.

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If it keeps you from killing yourself it's not stupid. This applies to anything btw.

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dialectics

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This might suck to hear, but if you're a people pleaser that is motivated by praise and avoids disagreements, you are easy to manipulate.

When I was in therapy after surviving years of domestic violence, my therapist had to tell me that my personality was primed for abuse and we needed to work on that so I would be better equipped to see the red flags and respond appropriately in the future.

I'm still working on this, and it's been 8 years. If you tell someone how you want to be treated, what behaviors you don't tolerate in your life, what you're looking for in that relationship, and they react negatively, don't compromise yourself. Just move on.

This one's for all the praise-kink girlies: differentiate, self-actualize, stay sexy

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Malaria once cast a long shadow over Lao PDR [Laos]. In 1997, an estimated 462,000 people were infected with significant economic and social impacts.��

Education and employment were disrupted, and countless lives were lost. The disease's grip extended far beyond the initial illness, with long-term health consequences a heavy burden on communities.

However, a dramatic shift has occurred. Thanks to accelerated strategies implemented by the National Malaria Control and Elimination Program, Ministry of Health and its partners, including the World Health Organization and United States Agency for International Development (USAID), malaria cases have dropped by over 90 percent over the past decade, with just 809 cases in 2023. The nation is now on the brink of eliminating Plasmodium falciparum, the deadliest malaria parasite, by the end of 2025. 

While many unsung heroes play crucial roles behind the scenes, including at the community level, a key group is laboratory technicians (microscopists). These dedicated individuals are the eyes on the ground, detecting, tracking, and monitoring malaria cases in high-risk areas...

While rapid tests are valuable tools, Somphan emphasizes the importance of microscopic examination – considered by WHO to be the “gold standard” for malaria diagnosis, and an important skill for every country’s health workforce to maintain for malaria elimination, and broader health security efforts.

Positively - her efforts, and the efforts of healthcare workers and health educators, are paying off. 

"People are now more aware of malaria and its dangers," Somphan says. "They have come to understand the seriousness of malaria and the importance of early diagnosis and proper treatment. They now recognize that avoiding hospitalization could lead to prolonged illness and greater disruption to their lives…they are more likely to seek medical attention, even for mild symptoms." 

The increasing number of patients coming for testing – sometimes up to 40 per day – is a testament to increased capacity and awareness in the community. But, she notes – they more increasingly have quiet days – a reflection of progress towards eliminating the disease."

-via USAID, August 20, 2024

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hot take, but I wish mainstream education about "LGBTQ+ issues" was less about telling people to clock & out people in an "inclusive" way and more about teaching perisex cisgender heterosexual people about the artificiality of their own sex & gender & sexuality

like tell the perisex cis straight woman how her sexed traits are constructed by her environment (what exercise and foods and hobbies and footwear were encouraged and discouraged?) and medicalized treatments (does she ever wonder why she gained weight and got bigger boobs when starting birth control? why it influenced her acne and libido? she's ingesting feminizing hormones) and bodily modifications (does she have pierced ears?) and daily rituals to hide traits to achieve a culturally normative gendered appearance (does she shave her legs and pubic mound and underarms? does she wear make-up? false eyelashes? press on nails? does she wear a bra? heels? a wig?).

tell her how her understanding of her gender as "woman" is historically contingent (how does she describe her personality and which of those traits make her feel more "girly" or more "tomboy"? if she never gets married would she feel she has failed in life? why? does she view herself to be more nurturing than men around her? does she view herself to be more nurturing than the women around her? why or why not? how does that make her feel? does she expect to be sexually harassed or assaulted at some point in her life because of her gender? has she already experienced misogynistic sexual violence? how does that impact how she relates to other people? how does that impact her decisions, behavior, and ideas about her worth as a person?)

tell her how her sexuality is influenced by contemporary beauty standards with specific political histories (why does she like to be seen with men who are taller than she is? why does she want to have sex with men who have large penises? does she have a preference for men with traits that align with the values of the eugenics movement as it was expressed within her own country in the century preceding her birth, e.g. lighter skin, able-bodied, "physically fit," "intelligent," "masculine"? How does she determine who fits these categories and where does she draw lines about specific traits that place someone within or outside of the category? would she have had these same preferences in cultural contexts that valued other traits? would the categories for what traits were conceptually relevant to sexual preference even be the same?)

like I'm kind of exhausted with trying to prove that I am real, and I would instead like to suggest that if perisex cis het people believe I am "unnatural," they should be reminded that they are just as "unnatural" as I am. be humble.

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POV: mister Devon Price, PhD, telling me that I am right about everything

Source: Unmasking Autism, discovering the new faces of neurodiversity

[an-elvish-disquiet]

To put it very bluntly.

You will always make a better impact helping people who need it than trying to hurt people you think deserve it.

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People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.

For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.

The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.

So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.