an1d10t

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Ranger Gathering 2025 - 16. anguish

He has... a question...

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Ranger Gathering 2025 - 13. fading

Halt being Halt even when he's [getting ready for his eternal sleep] lol

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Little Halt doodles I did during class. There are a lot of these in my class notes.

I may redraw some of these and color them digitally soon.

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[an1d10t]

Day 12 - Hunter

Halt was making his way to the ruins of the castle. He had left Abelard behind, afraid that the horse would be injured by the Kalkara. Unlike what he had told Gilan and Will, he knew who the beasts were after. It wasn’t the King, nor Baron Arald or another knight. Ever since the first attack, Halt had had a hunch who the next target would be. He had told Crowley about it as well. His friend had refused to let him go at first, but Halt had managed to convince him.

“I’ll make sure both of them will be away of the danger,” Halt had said. “If anything, you either get the message that we defeated them or that they killed me.”

He only needed to walk a few hundred metres, then he would be able to hide until help arrived. He could hear their screams behind him, but he didn’t dare to turn around. That’s how others were caught by them.

Quicker than he would have liked did the beasts scream triumphantly; they had spotted him.

Halt took an arrow and nocked it, took a deep breath and fired the arrow. He knew he hit it when it screamed. He then kept firing arrow after arrow until his quiver was empty. He had known that it wouldn’t keep them away, but it would slow them down.

One of them managed to get closer, slamming and breaking the long bow of the Ranger. Halt’s arm got indirectly hurt by the impact of the force. Still, he didn’t give up. He got on his feet and continued his path.

His backup plan was already there as well. Running towards the ruins, he stopped at a pile of wood that he had gathered during the day. He knelt down next to it and took his kit to light it up. The sparkles didn’t do much at first, but once they got the wood, a huge fire started.

The Kalkara screamed out of fear, standing where they were. Fire was the only thing that kept them away.

The Ranger climbed the rocks, looking for a spot to hide. One Kalkara got behind him, slamming its claw on the man’s leg.

Halt groaned, limping to a hole. He got a bandage and wrapped it around his leg. The bandage was soon colouring dark red. Halt couldn’t do much aside from hiding in the ruins, waiting for help to arrive.

Time seemed to slow down. The only indication he had was the sun going down. As he was waiting and losing hope, he suddenly heard a scream, followed by a loud whoosh!

He then heard voices, shouting his name. The Kalkara was then focusing on them and Halt tried to get out of his hiding spot. Unfortunately, the beast saw the man.

Instantly, it went back to Halt, trying to get him out of the blasted rocks. Halt didn’t give in, took his knife and threw it.

As the beast cried out in agony, Halt made his way down. He had to wait a moment, looking down at the ground underneath him.

“Halt, jump! What are you waiting for? Jump!” he heard the knight scream.

Taking a deep breath, he did and rolled down the slope. He thought he was alright, soon in a safe area. The Kalkara had different plans.

It jumped as well, using the slope to land right behind the Ranger. Raising its claw, it hit Halt in his back, knocking him out within a second.

The last thought that went through his mind was that he had failed. Instead of being the hunter, he was being hunted. And captured.

Groans woke Will up from his sleep. The boy shot up in bed, kicking the blankets of him as he made his way to his mentor’s bedroom. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but it couldn’t be anything good.

“Halt?” Will asked, knocking on his door. “Are you alright?”

There was no reply, so the apprentice turned around to go back to bed. He hadn’t even taken a few steps when it started again.

Halt sounded distressed, but Will wasn’t sure if he could go inside. When the man started mumbling, Will pushed down the door handle.

Even in the faint light of the moon he could see that Halt wasn’t doing well. He was sweating, his head moving from left to right on his pillow. He was talking, but in a language that Will did not know.

Will didn’t hesitate to turn around and to grab a bowl as well as a carafe with cold water. He got a clean cloth as well and went back to the bedroom. He set it down on the small table next to his bed. He then took the chair next to the desk and put it next to the bed.

Rolling up his sleeves, Will took the cloth and put it in the water. He then wringed it out and placed it on Halt’s forehead.

Suddenly, the man’s hand shot up and grabbed Will by his collar. His eyes were wide open, as if he had no idea who the boy was.

“H-Halt?” Will stammered. “It’s me, W-Will!”

The Ranger calmed down, slowly letting go of Will. He seemed to be taken by it as well.

“Will?” His voice was dry, rasping as he tried to focus on the boy.

His apprentice nodded, taking the cloth again and cleaning Halt’s sweaty head. He was a bit more careful, but Halt didn’t seem to be surprised again.

He instead leaned into the coldness of the water, his eyes closed. He was tired, but at the same time he couldn’t sleep.

Halt heard Will getting up and filling a cup with water. He then felt how his head was lifted up a bit, supported by the boy’s hand. The cup was placed at his lips and he started to drink. He hadn’t realised he was so thirsty.

Will filled the cup again and had Halt drink again before laying his head down once again. As his mentor drifted off to sleep, Will moved to have a look at his leg. The bandage was still the same colour as before, meaning he didn’t have to change it for now.

Will moved to sit next to him again, changing the cloth from time to time. He was tired, but for now his mentor needed him more.

“Sorry for waking you up,” Halt said suddenly, startling the boy. “I didn’t mean to do that. You need the rest as well.”

Will smiled, taking the cloth and rinsing it again before putting it on Halt’s forehead.

“It’s alright, Halt. It’ll be morning soon enough,” Will replied. He wasn’t lying; the first sunrays were already shining through the window.

Halt moved his head to look at Will. He saw the curls sticking all ways. The brown eyes were duller than usual, which wasn’t odd seeing the circumstances.

“You should ask Arald if there’s a scribe who can take over some tasks from you,” Halt said all of a sudden. “One of your ward mates went to Nigel, right?”

Will nodded, surprised by the idea.

“George,” he said, and Halt nodded.

“Ask for his help. If Nigel is against it, tell him I told you to get that boy to help you.”

“I will,” the boy said.

Halt nodded, taking a deep breath before looking back at the ceiling. It felt so wrong, to have the boy look after him. He is supposed to take care of Will, not the other way round.

“Thank you, Will,” Halt said. “For taking care of me. I appreciate it.”

[an1d10t]

Day 12: Hunter

As a fan of Halt, I couldn't NOT include this scene

[an1d10t]

For Ranger Gathering 2025 Day-13 Fading

After the end of Book 4, Will and Halt return to Redmont.

Actually I was very satisfied with my previous work, but this one didn't satisfy me as much. I don't know why, but I feel like something is missing.Anyway, I'll recover this the next chapters :D

Am I sharing my writing for the second time? 2020 Ciara crying in the corner --> The first one is here by the way

[an1d10t]

Ranger Gathering 2025 - Day 13: Fading

My Love, My Memories of You, They're Fading

This is probably the angsiest thing I've ever written, and I'm really proud of the result, even if I screamed at myself multiple times while writing this because I just kept getting more and more ideas to make it even more sad & angsty. I'm not posting the whole thing on Tumblr like I've done the past few days, cause it's multiple chapters and that would be a bit too long XD

You can read today's fic on ao3, I hope you enjoy <3

Credit to @rangertessadarling, whose post a few months ago mentioning Halt getting dementia later on in life, was part of the inspiration behind this fic.

My Love, My Memories of You, They're Fading (4046 words) by YourShiningLight

Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan

Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death

Relationships: Pauline duLacy/Crowley Meratyn/Halt O'Carrick, Gilan & Halt O'Carrick & Will Treaty, Pauline duLacy & Gilan Characters: Halt O'Carrick, Pauline duLacy, Crowley Meratyn, Gilan (Ranger's Apprentice), Will Treaty, Cassandra | Evanlyn (mentioned), Duncan (Ranger's Apprentice - mentioned)

Additional Tags: Memory Loss, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Hurt/No Comfort, Okay maybe a teeny tiny little bit of comfort, I cried while writing this, The Author Regrets Nothing, Ranger Gathering 2025, Ranger Gathering 2025 - Day 13: Fading, sort of a 5+1 thingie Series: Part 10 of Ranger Gathering 2025

Summary: No matter how hard he tried to hold on to them, Halt’s memories kept further slipping away the longer he kept on living without Crowley. He would give anything to be able to remember, but life didn’t give him that mercy. Maybe death would be kinder.

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Day 13: Fading....

'So, what are you going to do?' Caitlyn asked.

Halt merely shrugged. 'I dont know...'

In the distance, they saw Ferris rowing towards the docks. He had been yelling it wasn't his fault, but since his sister showed up, he'd been dead silent. His failed plan had been seen by her and trying to defend himself was no longer gonna work.

So instead, he slowly rowed away.

Halt was still drenched by his swim, and with the lack of a towel he would stay cold for quite some more time.

'It's probably for the best if I leave,' he finally said.

Caitlyn immediately disagreed. 'You're just gonna let him drive you away? And leave me here??'

'You can come along if you want. But I've made my mind up.'

Caitlyn shook her head. 'I can't. You know that....'

Halt nodded. Without Caitlyn, Ferris was gonna get even madder than he already was. With his sister, he'd have at least a bit of rational sense.

Both of them knew that Halt leaving was the only real solution. Halt refused to fight his brother and Ferris wouldn't stop trying to kill him unless he dissapeared.

And the only thing Caitlyn could do was watch her brother fading into the distance, all alone on the road to Araluen, and cry.

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Ranger Gathering Day 13

Mwahahaha Halt angst >:] wherein he realises that he can't remember very much at all about his sister.

It's here on Ao3 (no guest viewing) or under the cut

It was an ordinary day.

It usually was, when a life-changing event happened. Like, for example, when Ferris first tried to kill him, or when he had found Pritchard dead in a forest. There were exceptions - like when he met Will's father, or fifteen years later watched helplessly as Will receded from his reach on a Skandian ship. But most things, they happened on days that were seemingly like every other. Days that shouldn't have meant anything at all.

It was also an ordinary day when Halt realised that he didn't remember his sister.

He was sitting on the porch of his cabin with Pauline, watching the sun set over Redmont's orest. They were both nursing steaming mugs, although his wife only ever drank tea after midday. Crowley had left that morning to return to Araluen, and as neither of them had anything in particular to do, they had decided to spend the afternoon acting like it. The cabin always felt quieter after one of them left, anyway.

Like so many of those events, it had started innocuously, too. The way the sun filtered through the leaves reminded him of afternoons spent sitting on Pritchard's porch, putting off the time when he would inevitably have to return to the castle. Sometimes, when he stayed too late, the sun would fall across the ground in the same way. It always meant sprinting back in a desperate bid not to be missed at dinner, but those times themselves has been some of the most blissful of his teenage years.

That set him musing quietly about other parts of his childhood. The endless fighting that he went to Pritchard's cabin to escape from, although he passed by that one quickly. Hiding while he watched Ferris smoothing arguments over, back when they had been real brothers. Hiding with both of his siblings, stealing moments from their parent's time and cakes from the kitchens. Destracting Caitlyn from it all, playing with her when she was little and talking about everything but home when they were older.

Caitlyn had always had a particular way of smiling. It had compelled nearly everyone, and she had used it to her full advantage against him, getting him to join in on the schemes she concocted. Sitting there, deep in his memories, Halt tried to picture it, but he couldn't. He had once been able to, and for a long time, too, but it was...gone. He couldn't have said whether or not it had shown teeth, whether it was the kind of smile that split open her whole face or was barely there, like a secret.

The realisation was like a bucket of ice poured over him. Halt began to search for other details about his sister, at first to reassure himself that they were still there, and then in a desperate bid to prove realisation wrong.

He couldn't remember the sound of her voice, or the way her eyes looked. He couldn't remember how she talked, or laughed. He didn't know whether she had been shorter or taller than him, or how she had worn her hair, or her favourite colour. He couldn't remember what she had talked to him for so long about, the passions that were now as dead as her. He couldn't remember what she had confided in him so many late nights. He couldn't remember what she had said when he had told her he was leaving.

He was forgetting his little sister. Not just forgetting. He had already forgotten so much. What was missing that he didn't even know? Who would remember her if even her own brother could not?

"Halt?" He started at Pauline's voice. She was looking at him with concern, and at his startled glance she set her mug down and reached out to clasp his hand, frown deepending. "What's wrong?"

He couldn't answer immediately. The forest provided a welcome place to direct his gaze instead of having to look into Pauline's eyes; but soon the dappling of the light caught his eyes once more. He couldn't hide from it. He couldn't go back to that cabin in the forests of Clonmel, couldn't go back to those glorious afternoons, now tinged bittersweet. Pritchard was dead. Ferris was dead. His parents were dead.

Caitlyn was dead, and he was watching her die again inside him.

"Just realising how far away Hibernia really is," he said quietly at last.

He could see Pauline looking at him out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't meet her gaze. She would know what he meant. She always did. Finally, she squeezed his hand gently. "I'm glad you made it here."

"Me too," he said, squeezing back. He was, even as he looked out at the trees and through them, a far-off time.

He would never get it back. But Pauline was alive. Crowley was alive. Will was alive. So much was still alive. He was not dead, even if the person he had once been was.

Maybe he wouldn't have gone back, even if it had been possible to make that choice.

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@whoever the mpreg anon was, here is yet another pregnant Halt drawing, but this time he's cold (and I accidentally covered up his belly a tad too much and he just looks fat)

[an1d10t]

FINALLY EXPLAINING PREGNANT HALT AU

(this post has slight context, might wanna read it first, fairly short. This post however is not short). In this au, Halt gave birth to Will before giving him to the ward. This post only covers Halt and Crowleys relationship immediately before and after giving him away

@iceagebaby did help me solidify some of these events, so I'm giving him some credit in this au too =]

So the way this works is Crowley gets Halt pregnant on accident sometime after the first TEY book but before the second. Halt doesn't tell anyone at first and honestly does Not take care of himself the way he should. Crowley's mom is a midwife and she calls it a miracle that Will survived at all given what Halt put himself through. He pretty much only tells people once it becomes literally impossible to hide, around the 5 or 6 month mark. Before that the only people who knew were Crowley, Duncan, Rosalind, and Crowley's family.

Halt tries to take care of Will for ~ 2 months after he's born, but he just can't do it. He is, in all reality, a perfectly fine father with Crowley helping him. But then he has to move on his own and he just can't do it. Equal parts uneducated and scared of becoming his father. And Halt actually wants Crowley to keep Will, but Crowley knows Halt and says "If you are that far away from your son your health will crash and burn. I would sooner move to redmont with you than separate him". Plus, they're not the most openly dating, so even more motivation to separate them.

Now, Crowley's mental health takes a dive being away from his son too, but not nearly to the same level as he knew Halt's would. Crowley is basically drowning himself in work because when he's not distracted he's missing his husband and son. He is Not Feeling Good, and pretty much only Duncan notices. Duncan however decides it's not his business and doesn't ask (wrong decision)

Anyways so Halt tried to take care of Will, but he realized that he just couldn’t do it. He tried his hardest, but he was sleeping in so late that Will was missing morning feedings, and the trauma of everything that happened in, well, his life was finally starting to hit him. Y'know, that first moment you feel truly calm is when all the bad things start to sink in, because now you've run out of the adrenaline that kept you alive for the past 21 years.

So Halt writes Crowley a letter,

"I don't think I can take care of Will. I can't. Can you take him? Can your family?"

Crowley can't come down any time soon, busy at work, so he writes a letter as soon as he can because that's the quickest way to get in contact with Halt. Even if he tried to just drop all his responsibilities right then, a letter still was quicker

He says that his family could never take care of another child. If they tried, the kid would just grow up ignored and alone. There's too many kids already there.

For reasons I have never been able to think of, Crowley can't take him either (it has to happen for the plot)

Crowley tries to talk Halt down and suggests asking the ward to help out a little. A babysitter would probably help him. Maybe some sort of wet nurse, if the breastfeeding was getting too much?

But when Crowley gets Halt's next letter, and he sees how short it is, he already knows what happened. Halt couldn't do it, and he gave the kid away. And this time, Crowley does drop everything. He gets to Redmont about 2 days quicker than he should have

Crowley starts trying to find a way to get Will back, but ends up realizing... Halt's right. They can't take care of Will. Crowley decides he'll fight with Halt later (because he is rightfully fucking pissed) and just sits down and cries with him.

It does pretty quickly turn into a one sided fight, Crowley yelling at Halt for just going and *doing that* and Halt is just entirely unresponsive. The only thing Halt says is at the end, when Crowley's finally done, and that is "get out"

About half way through the ride home Crowley realizes what a horrible idea it was to leave Halt in a state like that

Meanwhile, on Halt's end of the story, he had no other choice. He would never use a wet nurse or a baby sitter because his parents did. But his depression was serious. Far, far too serious. And for the rest of Halt's life he regrets what he did. If for nothing else, he regrets not giving Crowley the chance to say goodbye. But he did it

They end up fighting for abouuuutt 4 years before they finally just fucking talk. Massive apologies for both (both fucked up massively) and it takes a while after the apologies for them to really start being more than friends again

And that's just how Will ended up in the ward! There's a couple different ways Will finds out, but generally you can just make up whatever you want and I've probably thought about it before

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Just Lil doodles

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Fatherly Crowley (au where Will is Crowley's bio child)

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In my preggo Halt au, the battle of Hackham Heath was only a few months after Halt gave birth. This is also when Halt first met Gilan! At some point, Halt mentions recovering from recently giving birth. He's just talking to other adults, probably David or something, and Gilan is nearby enough to overhear.

Gilan, however, does not know Halt is trans. And so he, loudly, blurts out, "YOU GAVE BIRTH THROUGH YOUR PENIS???"

In the middle. Of a camp. With many soldiers nearby.

Gilan has never wanted to die as much as the day he forgot what an inside thought is

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Wish I could say this had relevance to the au but it doesn't, my friend was just sad and drawing preggo Halt was what cheered him up

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7 - Throne

teen Halt. Heavily inspired by The Iron Song