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babe wake up, the Global Penguin Society named a penguin after Franco

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I love when kids mention media you were enjoying before they were even born and you're like "i know that media" and they're like

>: O !!!!!!!!!!!!

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the secret to organising any kind of trip with your friends is to become the benevolent dictator. do NOT wait for everyone to provide a consensus on things before you book anything. do it and then ask for feedback after. do not ask people what they would like to do just tell them what is happening and let them all nod along like the sheep they are. this is the ONLY way to coordinate a group of adults in their 20s/30s

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My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

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this man can work a suit

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random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

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saw this cute post and now I'm not going on reddit for the rest of the day. quit while you're ahead

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i love this website i just feel at home here you know

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Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about