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On losing a parent, 17 months later

On losing a parent, 17 months later

Over the past few days, weeks, and months, I’ve noticed a (seeming) increase in friends with parents who are ill, dying, or have died. Each time, my chest aches at the thought of one more person beginning the slow, painful, and transformative journey of grieving a parent.

For some, it’s an angry, confusing time because the parent was abusive, estranged, homophobic, and/or changed by the…

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Taking back power after sexual assault: Pap smears, part two

Taking back power after sexual assault: Pap smears, part two

A few months ago, I wrote about my first (attempted) Pap smear after sexual assault. In short, an already difficult experience was made worse by a GP’s refusal to honor promised accommodations.

Because I am in a low-risk category, I can opt out of Pap smears altogether. In fact, one GP in the UK has written about her reasons for doing so (actually, screening in general).Her argument boils down to:

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Quick little update

I have about ten minutes before Ladybug and I rush off to an appointment, but I wanted to give a little update as I haven’t written in so long. The inability to write has been due to some pretty terrible things happening at home, but I won’t go into that. Moving onto more pleasant topics! 🙂

Ladybug and I have attended two more flyball tournaments, and we’ve had fun at both. She’s now decided that…

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Finding safety

Photo credit: Gracie’s mum

Last weekend, I felt as if Ladybug had won a gold medal. She and I visited our first flyball tournament, didn’t have a meltdown, and made new friends.Watching her run around with the other dogs gave me a soaring, exhilarating joy. I want her to run free, but only if she can do so without coming to harm. The world is full of nasty, hurtful things and people who could…

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Can Ladybug have a treat?

Can Ladybug have a treat?

As I’ve been mulling over our first flyball tournament, something keeps coming back to me:

This is what it looks like to have boundaries respected.

One thing that made an impression on me was when Lina (a prime Ladybug-spoiler) stopped in the middle of a conversation, looked at me, and asked if I wanted people to stop giving Ladybug treats. I’d said it was okay, but she wanted to make sure I real…

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Our first flyball tournament!

Our first flyball tournament!

(warning: massive post ahead! 😛 )

Ladybug and I have achieved so many amazing milestones recently that it’s hard to keep track.

Her:

Let someone else take her leash (more than once!)

Let someone else pick her up

Jumped into a crate (her new friend Lucy was in the neighboring crate, so Ladybug wanted some of the fun)

Traveled a short distance in the crate next to her new friend Sky

Traveled a long…

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We are now flyball converts!

We are now flyball converts!

Jeepers.

We are now the official poster children for flyball.

I should send in our story to BFA (British Flyball Association) or UKFL (UK Flyball League) to use as an advertisement for flyball.

In four short weeks (really three, if you consider that four practices represent three weeks’ time), my little scaredy-cat fusspot has transformed into a confident, excited, and thoroughly spoiled madam. 😀…

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Scentwork, obedience class, and a play date!

Scentwork, obedience class, and a play date!

SCENTWORK

Yesterday was a long and hot day, but it was a happy one. We went back to Ladybug’s very favorite scentwork class. It’s too bad it’s only once a month. 😦 I’d skipped our morning walk as we had obedience class and a play date afterward, but this was a mistake. She was so overexcited for class, impatient for her turn, and thrilled when she got something right. I’m actually not sure if she…

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Lazy Saturday

It’s been a hectic few days! After a hard night’s sleep and a quick trip outside, Ladybug is napping. 😛

After the amazing events of flyball and visiting a friend (Ladybug allowing someone else to hold her leash with increasing confidence, and even letting me go to the bathroom while she waited outside with my friend), we went to agility and puppy yoga yesterday with excitement and some tiredness.…

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On learning joy from my puppy

On learning joy from my puppy

In the last few days, something lovely has happened.

Ladybug has begun to trust.

After I wrote Sunday’s blog post coming to terms with all the reasons I’ve unwittingly needed her to be fearful, something inside of me relaxed. So she’s timid and skittish. So what? If she were a human child and scared of strangers, I wouldn’t push her. I wouldn’t blame myself. I’d watch, wait, and let her tell me…

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On teaching my puppy fear

On teaching my puppy fear

I know it’s silly, but I feel like I’ve failed my dog.

We’ve worked so hard on so many aspects of her training, and she’s come a long way. She’s more confident, more relaxed, and more able to adapt to new situations.

Except for one thing.

She can’t or won’t tolerate someone else holding her leash.

She can do every single other item on the silver exam list perfectly. Lie down and stay for two…

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Another play date, agility class, and our first yoga class!

Another play date, agility class, and our first yoga class!

It’s been a busy few days! In fact, I meant to blog about a few events but didn’t have the time. We had our second-ever play date, fourth agility class, and started a new puppy yoga class.

PLAY DATE

Goodness…if I’d known how much fun puppy play dates are, I would’ve joined flyball long ago just to make puppy mama friends. Yesterday, we met up with a member of our new flyball club. She brought her…

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Hooray for flyball!

Those are three words I thought I’d never say!

After a failed attempt to visit another flyball club (traveling 60 miles in 80 degree heat with no air conditioning and a very anxious puppy), I decided to stick with our first good impression rather than continue visiting clubs. One more negative experience could put both of us off completely, and flyball is a chance for Ladybug and I to learn some…

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Our first playdate! (Ladybug gets muddy!)

Our first playdate! (Ladybug gets muddy!)

For a pup who comes from working farm dog stock, Ladybug is amazingly clean. She’s gotten about four baths in her life (except at the hospital, where she was so sick and stressed that toileting accidents meant almost daily baths). The good thing about spending most of her life on lead (poor baby!) is that she hasn’t learned to roll in the mud (yet!). I’m also terrified of Alabama rot, so these…

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Our best agility class yet!

Our best agility class yet!

Ladybug and I have only been to three agility classes.

The first one was a bit stressful, as it was hard to find the venue and we ended up piggybacking on the following (intimidating) competition-level class. Ladybug was overwhelmed at the new environment, and she spent a great deal of the class time lunging and barking. (Sigh!)

The second was much better, as we got to the right class at the…

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We no longer hate flyball!

We no longer hate flyball!

How’s that for a ringing endorsement? 😀

It should be seen as one, though! After our first experience, I swore off the sport for good. Ladybug and I did not have a gentle or pleasant introduction to the wild world of flyball. In fact, the experience was so negative that I wasn’t sure I wanted to even watch in the future.

I was roundly criticized for that post, and I received hate mail calling me…

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On having faith (life lessons from my puppy)

On having faith (life lessons from my puppy)

It’s been a h*ll of a week. Month, year, two years, decade, life.

But no matter what difficulties I’ve gone through, I look at the sweet face of the puppy I get to call mine.

This little soul, who has only been in this world just over a year (one year as of last week!), has gone through more trauma than most people in their entire lives.

She left the only world she’d ever known to go to what was…