anastralhologram

[anastralhologram]

               Even after finally falling asleep very late in the morning, Rinan and Alex still managed to wake up at a decent hour. It was around 11:30 when she found herself stirring in bed. Cuddling back against the body that held her close, for a moment her half-awake brain thought it was Dan. Inhaling though, she recognized an all too familiar scent. Alex… She thought to herself as his more slender arms pulled her closer to him. She felt guilty for lying in bed with him, but he was her comfort zone. He wasn’t some scary, unknown world that gave her feelings she didn’t understand. Her body relaxed into his arms and she let her eyes close again.

                 “Good morning Rin.” Alex whispered to her; his eyes were still closed as well, enjoying the moment they shared. She mumbled a good morning back at him and turned to face him, burying her head in his chest. He moved his head and kissed the top of hers. “You sleep alright?” Rinan nodded into his chest, still not willing to speak. She wasn’t ready to be back in the land of reality.  Sadly, she was wide awake and knew she wouldn’t be falling back to sleep. She pulled herself free from Alex’s embrace and sat up, running her fingers through her hair.

                 Alex slowly sat up in bed beside her. “So what have you got planned for the day?” He asked her. She shrugged and although she didn’t want to tell him, she refused to lie. “I’m going to see Dan in a bit.” Alex got quiet for a moment and the guilt was almost more than she could bare. She knew how much Alex cared for her, but this thing with Dan wasn’t just going to go away. “Let’s order breakfast.” He spoke finally, changing the subject.

                 A few hours later, Rinan had found her way back to the hotel she’d enjoyed with Dan the previous night. She ran her fingers through her hair before she knocked on the door. Almost as soon as she’d knocked, there was Dan, his sweet smile and eyes staring at her lovingly. Soon enough she was in his tight embrace, eyes closing in ecstasy as his lips left a trail all over her neck. Eventually they pulled apart and he told her all about what had happened a bit earlier with Christina.

                 “This belongs to you.” He said, handing her a lipstick that must have fallen from her person before. She laughed softly as she took it from him and put it in her small, over the shoulder bag. “So! What would you like to do today?” Rin asked him, excited to hear what kind of things they were going to be getting up to. She was a little underwhelmed when he mentioned an aquarium and other tourist attractions but didn’t let on to it at all. She was just happy to spend some time with him. The two hadn’t really ever gotten to spend more than two days together. And most of the time they had just spent those times in bed. She truly didn’t know him very well at all. This was the perfect time to finally learn more about him.

                 “Sounds like a plan. Let’s do the aquarium first and then the fair perhaps?” He grinned and nodded at her, obviously excited that she had been so receptive to his plans. The two set off on their date day.

                 “Honestly, I don’t know who could confuse a sea lion with a seal!” Rinan exclaimed as they walked down the street, hand in hand. “It’s a simple mistake!” Dan argued defensively and playfully. The two had just spent a good portion of the day at the aquarium, learning about different types of fish and other sea life. Rinan had to admit, she had more fun than she had expected to. Seeing the jellyfish was her favourite part. She loved how they’d all been put under colourful lights, really illuminating how beautifully they ebbed and floated along in the water.

                 “Ah, I see a restroom over there! I’ll be right back!” She excused herself and made her way through a thicker crowded area. The two were at the fairgrounds in the busier part of the city district now. Dan stood patiently, waiting for Rinan when all of a sudden; something had crashed into him and knocked him over.

 (Now read Coal’s post & then come back! :P )

                 Walking back through the crowd, Rinan caught a glimpse of Dan. His back was to her and he looked like he was looking at something. She stepped up behind him and touched his arm, trying to get his attention.

                “So where to first?” Rin asked and then noticed some dirt or dust on the side of his hoodie. “Oh, here.” She said as she swept her hand over his side, the mess easily clearing away. Dan started to explain how he’d just gotten hit by a bicyclist. Rinan’s eyes went wide and she looked him over. “Are you okay?” Assuring her that he was fine, the two of them decided to go get some fair food and ride some rides. Rinan didn’t know, but Dan had left out the part where the girl who had run him over was a beautiful young woman.

                 As the day progressed, the two had a really enjoyable time together. The sun had faded into distance and Dan and Rinan were trying to figure out what their following plans would be. They had been in line to get on the Ferris wheel. The entire fair was lit up now and the bright lights and loud music made it seem like there was some kind of magic in the air. Just then, a call came through on her phone. Pulling it out of her bag, Rinan noticed it was Alex. After yesterday, she couldn’t just ignore his call. She truly didn’t want to make him worry.

                 “Hey, this call is super important, so I’ll be right back, okay?” she told Dan, leaving out the fact that it was Alex on the phone. She hoped he’d just believe her and they could leave it at that for the time being. Rinan stepped a good distance away from the Ferris wheel and answered the call. She held one ear closed and the phone tight to the other ear, trying to make it easier to hear. “Hello?”

                 “Ey love. Glad you picked up. The boys and I are headed to a bar tonight and I thought I’d invite you along.” Alex’s voice trailed but when Rinan didn’t say anything he continued. “Of course, if you have plans, I’ll just see you tomorrow.” Rinan heard an unfamiliar sound in his voice. Was he disappointed? She cleared her throat and thought for a moment. She had spent the whole day with Dan and while she wasn’t done spending time with him, she did owe Alex. He had been so kind and understanding.

                 “No, I’m free. Give me like, thirty/ forty-five minutes tops.” She told him. She smiled at the surprise in his voice when he told her he’d meet her back at their hotel. Hanging up, she turned her attention back to the giant wheel. She could see the ride operator rushing Dan and someone else into one of the colourful cars on the wheel. By the time Rinan made it back over, the ride had begun and Dan was being lifted away with a total stranger.

[anastralhologram]

[anastralhologram]

Following him as he left the bed, her eyes watched as he checked to see who was knocking. Rinan found it strange when he only partly opened the door and stepped out. Curiosity got the best of her as she rolled from the bed. Leaning over, she grabbed Dan’s shirt from the floor and slipped it on. Stepping towards the door, her eyes were focused on buttoning the shirt up, just in case Dan invited whoever it was inside.

         “Well since you couldn’t make it to my place, maybe I could spend the night with you here.” A higher pitched, female voice came from the other side of the door. Rinan could feel that jealous energy filling her spirits again. Unsure of whether to stay and eavesdrop or just go back to bed, she decided that neither was what she should do. Instead, she found a cigarette and lighter she’d had on her person before her clothes wound up all over the floor. She made her way over to the balcony and lit up. Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes. The moon was high in the sky and mostly covered by dark grey clouds. The rain had seemed to settle though there was still an occasional low rumble of thunder.

         She breathed in deeply, ashing her cigarette over the side of the railing. Rinan thought she heard the door open and close again. She knew she’d heard right as Dan’s tall frame joined her, his arms propping himself up against the railing. They stood in silence for a bit. The two of them were comfortable in each other’s presence. She didn’t want to say anything. Rinan didn’t want to deal with how she was feeling.

         “I’m a hypocrite.” He broke the silence and she looked down, staring at how far they were from the ground. Finally she nodded, agreeing with his statement. He was a huge hypocrite. They both were. They had no business being here together when each of them had commitments to other people. “I truly never thought I’d see you again.”

         His heavy words weighed on her mind. Of course they would see each other again. But she knew what he meant. Rinan also thought the two of them would never be together this way after what had happened before. Those vivid memories of the night she’d went to make things right after she’d made them so wrong with Dan still haunted her mind. Watching him ensnared in another woman’s kiss was enough to make her sick. She glanced over at him as his body turned, his back against the railing now with his arms crossed over his chest. He stared at the ground and it felt like he was miles away.

         “I’m yours, and only yours.” Those words seemed to float across the room and Rinan flicked what was left of her cigarette over the balcony. She turned, walking back into the hotel room. “You have nothing to apologize for.” Rinan finally spoke. Something caught her eye from across the floor. Her phone was lighting up and she assumed it was another call from Alex. She stepped over and picked it up. “I really do need to take this.” She told Dan, her tone apologetic. She swiped the screen and held the phone up to her ear. She stepped to the washroom and shut the door for some privacy.

         “Hey Alex…” She spoke softly. He sighed in relief when he heard her voice and knew she was alright. “What happened? I’ve been trying to reach you love; where’d you make off to?” He asked her, confused as to why she’d just vanish. Rinan leaned back against the bathroom door and stayed silent for a moment. Sure, she could lie to him, but what good would that do really? “I met up with Dan. And we just cut out early. I’m sorry if I worried you.” She apologized. The other end of the phone was quiet and then she heard Alex clear his throat.

         “I’ll see in a bit then.” He told her. She could hear the frustration in his voice and she knew he wasn’t stupid. She knew that he knew what she’d been up to. Rinan breathed in and agreed. “Yeah, I’ll see you.”

         Stepping out of the washroom, she glanced around the room and saw Dan, fully dressed now, leaning over the balcony railing. He was in some loose fitting pants and a plain tee with some sneakers. He hadn’t noticed her come out so she slipped off his shirt and began to redress in her slightly damp evening wear. She wasn’t sure what to do or what to say. “I’ve really got to be heading back.” Her voice broke the silence.

         Dan turned to her and nodded and she assumed he’d probably heard her conversation with Alex. She took a few steps toward Dan and he stepped to her as well, closing the space. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged onto him tightly. His arms around her were strong and warm. He buried his face in her neck as the two stood there taking in each other. “We’re not done here…” She said quietly. He pulled back and she kissed the corner of his mouth. “Meet me here tomorrow?” Dan asked and she nodded. “Of course.” His lips pressed against hers, not wanting her to go yet. She kissed him back, never able to get enough of him.

         It was a little past four in the morning and Rinan found herself sitting on a bench in a small park that had been close to the hotel she was staying at. It was still plenty dark out. Dan had given her a lift back to her place nearly two hours ago. After going inside, Alex wasn’t anywhere to be found. She did find a note though.

         “Something’s come up so I’ll be back in the morning. We can talk then. ‘Till then, remember how much you mean to me love.”

         She had sighed and thrown off her nearly dry clothes. She took a quick shower and got dressed in short black slip dress with lace detail. Before heading back out, she slipped on a pair of sandals and a long sleeve, colourful over shirt. Her mind was racing and crowded and she needed to find a place to clear her head.

         For the past several months all she’d thought about was Dan and how badly she missed him. And now that the two had reconciled, it was like her heart felt whole. They had gone about it the wrong way of course but that’s just how life works sometimes. She had so many ideas for melodies and lyrics while she’d been with Dan. She couldn’t wait to get back to a studio to work on more music. But she still had to finish up the rest of her tour and then she’d be going on the road with Alex. It was very confusing how Alex had so understood things so far, but when she really thought about it, it wasn’t unusual. Not for him anyway.

         “Ah, fancy seeing you here.” Speak of the devil. Alex stood in front of her, his hands in his leather jacket pockets. Rinan broke free from her thoughts and glanced up at him quizzically. “I needed to get some air.” Alex explained. He took a seat beside her and nudged her with his elbow. “I’m not following you.” He joked with her and she couldn’t help but smile. He just knew her too well.

         “I’m sorry about earlier. I’m just feeling a lot of things that I really can’t seem to figure out.” She tucked a loose strand of her wavy brown hair behind her ear. Alex took his arm and draped it over her shoulder. “I can’t say that it’s alright, because it’s not. But I will tell you I’m not giving up on this.” He started to explain himself. “I know we don’t really behave like a normal couple, but I’m okay with that. I’ll let you explore whatever you want with whoever you want. I’ll still be here. You’ve got me Rin.”

         He had never been so honest with her before about how he felt and she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt wash over her. “You shouldn’t say things like that.” Alex shook his head and pulled her close to his side. “It’s the truth.” He said simply. The two sat there like that for a while longer in silence, her head on his shoulder for comfort. All she could think of though was seeing Dan later on. Her eyes began to get heavy and without realizing it, she was asleep.

[anastralhologram]

Tempestuous blue eyes went wide

                 when she heard her name called out, realizing she had actually won an award. She covered her hands over her mouth and stood. Alex stood beside her, reaching out and hugging her close. He knew she deserved this and couldn’t be happier for her. After letting go, Rinan’s head was swimming. Carefully she made her way to the stage and up the stairs, making sure she didn’t clumsily trip. Making her way over to the mic, she thanked the award presenters faced the audience.

                 “I honestly can’t believe I’ve won this.” Those were the first words that left her lips and she laughed softly, the audience clapping again briefly. “Really though, when I started this journey I never expected all of this. I’ve worked really hard and I just want to thank everyone who has listened to the music I make. If it weren’t for you all, I wouldn’t be standing here now.”

                 Soon enough all of the awards had been given out and everyone was making their way out of the theatre. Before Rinan could even make it a few steps into the lobby she was bombarded by numerous congratulations and interviewers dying to get some commentary from her. Not wanting to be rude, she courteously stayed, answering several questions about what it was like to be on tour and how different it was actually performing the songs she wrote now instead of other artists. Alex stood patiently with her, adding to the conversation whenever he felt it right to. Of course they also questioned her about her relationship with Alex. This made her stumble over her words as her eyes caught a peek of Dan heading out to the terrace. Alex took the opportunity to speak for her.

                 “We’ve just been great friends for quite a while now and we’ve decided to see what else we have to offer each other.” His answer was vague and he winked at Rinan. She nodded along. Honestly, she hadn’t paid attention to his answer. Her mind had wondered off to Dan and was wondering if he were waiting on her as he said he would be.

                 After posing for some photos, losing Alex in the fairly crowded lobby area and getting stuck in several underwhelming conversations, Rinan could hear the rumble of thunder in the distance. Thunder typically meant rain, and in turn it would cause everyone outside to come back inside. She made her way over to the exit and stepped out and over to the balcony. Tiny little raindrops began to patter against her exposed skin. Chill bumps chased up her arms but she just closed her eyes, inhaling the familiar scent of a storm rising. Exhaling, she opened her eyes and surveyed the area. As the rain began to fall more quickly, she searched the crowd that was piling indoors once more. There was no sign of Dan though. Of course he didn’t wait this long for you. She reviled herself.

                 Heavy pouring rain was now falling from above; the thunder that had rumbled in the distance now boomed all around her. She didn’t make a move to head back inside. She stood and let the rain wet her hair and soak through her dress.

                 “You’re here.” An all too familiar deep voice broke behind her as something covered her shoulders. She shrugged in his jacket. The corners of her lips tugged into a smile and she turned her attention to him, catching his gaze. “A promise is a promise.” She teased.

                 She was going to make a slick comment about how wet she’d gotten while searching for him but his lips met hers instead, hushing her. The two stood alone, kissing in the rain for several minutes until they broke apart, breathing heavily. “Let’s get out of here.”

                Nodding, she felt his hand take hers and he led to an emergency exit. It was impossible to have not been seen, but at least it was only by other artists and not interviewers or reporters. They carried on together down the road, still hand and hand. The rain was still coming down in sheets. As they rounded the corner, he pulled her against him and kissed her deeply. She thought back to that first night they’d met and it was like nothing had changed. She was still just as giddy and excited as she had been then, and every other time they’d gotten together. The only worry in her mind was that Alex would worry where she was. Those thoughts were washed away with Dan’s kisses and the rain.

                 As they reached his hotel room, the two stumbled inside, finding it impossible to keep their hands off of each other. Every touch, every kiss, it was all pure ecstasy for Rinan. It’s not like she’d been celibate in the time they’d been apart but there was no one who came close to making her feel the way Dan did. Their clothes came off quickly and she lay back on the bed with him, just touching each other and enjoying each other. His lips began to trail down her body and she heard her own small moans leave her lips. His tongue lapped against her and she gasped, her back arching. She couldn’t help but melt under him as he sent waves of pleasure through her entire being. Her hands were buried in his thick hair, tugging and pulling as she neared orgasm.

                 It was as if he knew she was so close when he pulled away. He wiped his mouth and she bit her lower lip. He knew how attractive he was. His hands grabbed her waist and flipped her over. Of course she just went with it. He climbed atop her and her body moved under him and he trailed soft kisses along her body. Rinan wasn’t expecting it when he forced his way into her and she gasped loudly. Her body worked against his and with every thrust he made into her she would grind back against him. Her fingers grabbed at the sheets underneath her, the feeling of him inside of her almost more than she could take. “F-fuck.” She mumbled against the sheets as he pushed harder and faster into her. She closed her eyes tight as she felt her whole body tense. As he thrust once more, the two of them let out the most pleasure filled sounds as he came inside her. That was something she’d never experienced before.

                 After a moment the two adjusted and silently held onto each other, just enjoying themselves. Finally, Dan was the first to break the quiet. “Congrats on your big win, by the way.”

                 Rinan rolled her eyes at him and stuck out her tongue, feeling strange by his praise. “I really think it’s such a strange thing to win an award for just showing my point of view to the world, you know?” She explained to him. And it was true. Of course she was excited, but she also found it weird that people actually liked what she’d put out into the world. “I’m just glad it was received well. How humiliating it would have been if no one bought my album.” She laughed out. It had been a real fear of hers while she was making her music. Thankfully that wasn’t what happened.

                 They chatted more about the award show and she was glad he hadn’t mentioned anything about Alex or her being there with him. As he shifted on the bed, he sat up, excusing himself to the bathroom. Rinan nodded, understanding. “I love you, you know.” He snuck in and quickly kissed her lips. As the bathroom door closed behind him, Rinan sat up and pulled the sheets over her body. She sat with her knees bent and then realized she had no idea what time it was or if Alex had been trying to reach her. Reality hit. And it hit hard. She glanced around the room and as she reached over to the side table to grab her phone, she realized it wasn’t hers. As she was about to set it back down she couldn’t help but read the message on the front of the screen.

                 Thought you were coming to see me tonight? Miss you, love you! Call me when you can!

                 It was like time stopped. It wasn’t till she heard the washroom door opening that she quickly set his phone back down and stood from the bed. Suddenly things felt really bad. There was nothing she could do or say because of the situation she was in with Alex but it didn’t make the idea of Dan with someone else hurt any less. She watched as Dan stared at her, confused as to why she was just standing beside the bed, wrapped in a sheet, awkwardly quiet.

                 “You alright there love?” He asked as his brow slightly rose. He had a pair of boxers on now and he stepped further into the room. Rinan snapped from her thoughts and nodded. “Yeah, I just need to find my phone.” She tried to make up an excuse. She began to look around the floor and watched as Dan also helped. He found it underneath the lovely gown she’d been in earlier that was now just carelessly thrown in a pile on the floor. He grinned to himself at the thought of what they’d just done together but quickly that grin turned to a grimace. On her phones screen there were about five missed calls from Alex.

                 “Oh, good. You found it.” Rinan stepped closer to him and reached out to get her phone from him. “Looks like you’re being sorely missed.” Dan spoke, a certain jealous tone now in his voice. Rinan took her phone and looked at the screen. Unsure of what to say she shrugged. “Seems that way I guess.” Her voice was quiet as she spoke.

                 She didn’t mention how apparently he was also being missed by someone else. Dan wasn’t happy with her answer though. He was tired of tiptoeing around everything. And as much as he didn’t want all of the good feelings to be over, he was tired of being left in the dark. “So you’ll be his but you won’t be mine?” He questioned. When she didn’t answer, he stepped closer to her, taking her chin in his hand and making her look at him. “If you’re his, then why were you just in my bed?” He was leaning down, and as he spoke his lips were so close to hers. This caught her by surprise. He had never been so forward with her before and he wasn’t wrong.

                 “I-I don’t know…” She sputtered finding his tall figure a bit intimidating. Dan shook his head, unhappy with her answer. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him, closing the gap between them. “It’s because you’re mine.”

                 She didn’t know what came over her but he was right. He was completely and totally right. And in that moment, she didn’t care if he was seeing someone else, she didn’t care if she was seeing someone else. In that moment, she was his and only his. She let the sheet fall from her grip as she wrapped her arms behind his neck, bringing his lips to hers. He reached back and took her phone from her hand as they kissed, tossing it aside. She wouldn’t need it anyway. Reaching down, he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He felt her warmth and he could feel himself beginning to swell again. They kissed hard and he grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling her head back to kiss her neck. His lips reached her earlobe and bit into it softly.

                 “Say it.” He demanded as her bit down onto her neck, pinching the skin between his teeth. She let out a soft cry and tilted her head back further. The words were caught in her throat and then she felt her back against the wall. He had balanced her against the wall and pulled his erection from his boxers. She could feel his tip teasing her, pressing just slightly against her. She tried to move her hips against him but he didn’t allow it. “Say it.” He repeated himself, smirking at how badly he knew she wanted him.

                 “I’m yours Dan. I’m only yours.”

                 Those words hit him hard and unable to keep him from her any longer, Dan shoved into her. She cried out from the force, but his lips covered hers, drowning out all of her little cries of pleasure and pain. They carried on against the wall for a while until he wanted a better angle. He lowered the two of them to the floor, and fucked her hard. He wanted her to remember this; he wanted her to know that no matter what happened after this night, she would always be his.

                 Rinan sat up slowly in bed as she heard what sounded like a knock coming from the door. She tried to run a hand through her hair but her fingers got stuck in the tangles that had formed from that previous night. Looking over, Dan was sound asleep. She smiled and begrudgingly pushed him lightly, waking him up. “I think someone’s at your door.”

                 Dan looked confused for a moment, his half sleep brain not quite working yet. Rinan laughed a little and pointed to the door. “The door. There’s someone knocking.” Dan nodded and rolled out of bed. He scooped up his boxers lazily as he crossed the hotel room and put them on. He got to the door and glanced out of the peep hole.

                 “Christina…”

[anastralhologram]

A little over half a year had gone by

 and Rinan had just thrown herself into her work. She’d been through a very successful first part of her tour. One of her songs also hit number one on the charts and stayed there for quite a bit of time. It had been a wild time, flying from airport to airport and bouncing from hotel to hotel. It was exhausting but one of the most freeing things she’d ever experienced in her life. And yet the entire time, Dan hadn’t left her mind.

 Standing in front of a full length mirror in her current hotel room, those deep blue eyes examined their own reflection. She looked herself up and down, taking in her appearance. Turning around, she locked eyes with a tall, slender man, dressed in a well fitted suit, hair slicked back and a cigarette in his hand.

 “You’re sure this isn’t too much?” Rinan questioned. The man let out a small chuckle. He put his cigarette out in the glass ashtray that was to his left and he approached her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her body close to his.

 “You are more beautiful than you could ever know.” His voice dripped with sincerity.

 She couldn’t help but smile at his kind compliment and she left a kiss on his cheek softly. Alex gave her a look, raised brow and nodded toward the door, asking if she were ready to head out. Nodding, his arms left her waist and he laced his finger in hers, leading her out of the room. A limo waited outside for the two, and as they reached the entrance of the hotel, they could already see the paparazzi waiting outside for them.

 Cameras flashed in every direction as the two exited and quickly piled into the limo. Rinan lifted in her seat and smoothed out the backside of her dress and then sat again. She turned her attention toward Alex, who was staring at her.

 “Couldn’t have been more discreet, eh?”

 He laughed again and shook his head, leaning in closer to her. He took the back of his hand and brushed her hair back away from her neck. “Is it so wrong to want to show you off?” He asked, gingerly leaving a trail of soft kisses from behind her ear and down her neck. His breath against her skin made her insides burn. Everything seemed to send her back to that night though.

 Images flashed in her mind as she closed her eyes, enjoying the sensations Alex was giving her. All she could think of was Dan. His lips were softer than Alex’s; his hands were bigger and gripped her tighter. His voice was one of the biggest differences; his deep, warm, entrancing voice.

 Letting out a soft sigh, Rinan opened her eyes and placed a hand on Alex’s chest, easing him back from her a bit. He just grinned at her, not picking up on her change in mood. Rinan turned her attention to the window and let her gaze wander as well as her mind. She’d been so busy she hadn’t really kept up with what Dan had been up to all of this time. All she could think of were those words he said to her the last time they spoke.

 “I’m fuckin’ over this Rinan.”

 His voice was thick with anger and disappointment. She knew that was why she’d found him in the little tavern, kissing someone who wasn’t her. She had pushed him away. If being with another woman was what he needed to get her out of his system then so be it. Rinan tried to justify staying away from him, not reaching out to try and contact him. Really though, it was because she couldn’t handle how she felt. With Alex it was easy. They hung out, had sex, went to dinner, but there were no “I love yous”, no deep feelings involved. It was just an unspoken understanding between the two.

 “Hey love, we’re here.” Alex nudged her. She’d been so lost in her thoughts; she hadn’t realized the limo door had already been opened by a nice man in a tuxedo. Hastily, she adjusted her dress, as to not flash anyone with the big slit that went a bit higher than mid-thigh, and she stepped out of the car. Alex filed out behind her, his hand resting on the small of her back, reassuringly. The two of them walked together, talking with interviewers from different television and radio shows and taking photos, separate and together.

 Later that evening, the two stood in the lobby, socializing with other artists. Most of them were friends of Alex which Rinan didn’t mind. She was actually having a nice time and felt like she was around similar minded people. She could feel Alex drawing circles against her exposed skin. She also felt something else. It was like she could feel someone watching her. She glanced away from her colleagues and she inhaled sharply. Dan stood just a few feet away from her. She’d never seen him dressed so sharp and she had to admit, it really suited him well. Suddenly she became painfully aware that he was eyeing Alex’s hand on her.

 Turning her attention back to the group she was just speaking with, she quickly excused herself, not making eye contact with Alex. Her long, thin legs led her away from Dan and away from his gaze. It was as if someone had just knocked her in the chest and it felt hard to breathe. Rinan found her way to a nice little secluded area and finally let out a long breath. Leaning back against a wall, she slumped down and sat with her knees pulled to her chest, the front of her dress covering her legs. She sat there like that for several minutes, just trying to sort out her thoughts and her emotions but coming up empty.

 Run.

 Standing quickly, she smoothed out her dress and made her way back through the lobby area. Her eyes caught the first big red exit sign and out she went. It led her to a beautiful terrace. Shutting her eyes, she inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm herself. Upon opening her eyes though, there he was. His head was in his hands.

 “Dan…”

 Her voice had betrayed her. Even though her words came out in only a soft whisper, it drew Dan’s attention towards her. As he glanced up, his glistening crystal-like eyes caught her stormy blue ones. The two stayed there together for a moment, just lost in each other’s gaze. Even though there was a good bit of space between the two of them, it was as if they were in a world all their own. They were the only two people that existed at that point. Her eyes searched his, trying to solve everything. Rinan desperately looked for all of the answers. She could feel tears swelling in her own eyes and she fought hard to keep them in.

 He stood slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. Her legs moved beneath her and she stepped forward; her steps quickened as he moved towards her as well, matching her haste. When the two finally met, he stood and took her face in his hands. She closed her eyes as his lips crashed into hers. A tear slipped out and rolled down her cheek and against one of his hands. She kissed him back just as hard. It was like her chest was exploding. Rinan felt as though she would burst into a million pieces. His tongue met hers and they tasted each other, craving more and more of one another, like recovering addicts finally getting their fix. He was bad for her. He made her feel things she didn’t understand; scary things she wasn’t used to. Still she stood there and drank him in, her arms around his neck pulling him closer. Dan’s hands had moved from her face, one down around her waist, pulling her body into his, pressing her so tight to him that there was no space between them. The other hand was on the back on her neck, his thumb caressing the side of her neck. She wished the two of them could stay in this moment forever.

 Finally, the two did break apart. They were still the only two outside, not that they would have noticed if anyone had joined them. Dan leaned his forehead against hers as he stared down into her eyes.

 “I missed you…” Rinan spoke softly, unsure of what to say. It was the truth though. She’d missed him every day they had been apart. Dan smiled at her words. He opened his mouth to say something but his phone went off. He reached with one of his hands into his pocket and glanced at the screen.

 “The show’s starting.” He spoke, his voice a bit rough. Rinan stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest, not really sure what to do. Dan slipped his phone back into his pocket. “Will you meet me here afterwards?”

 Uncrossing her arms, she nodded in agreement and turned to head inside. Before she could, her grabbed his wrist and spun her back around to him. This time, he pressed his lips to hers softly, as if she were the most precious thing on Earth. “Promise me.” He demanded and his lips brushed against hers. Oh the things this man did to her. She could barely form thoughts, let alone speak actual words.

 “I-I promise.”  She managed to get out, mumbling against his lips. He let go of her wrist and kissed her softly once more. Rinan turned once more and headed back inside, this time uninterrupted. Once she was out of Dan’s sight, she took a deep breath trying to process what had just happened. Before she could though, Alex came up, taking her hand in his.

 “Where’ve you been love? It’s time.” Alex told her. He reached out and wiped his finger underneath her eye. “You had a smudge.” He told her, his voice light and carefree. Keeping his hand in hers, he led her into the theatre and the two found their seats. Admittedly, Rinan was unusually quiet. As she sat in the theatre chair and the show began, she was lost and rethinking everything that had just happened.

[anastralhologram]

Caught up in the waves

They’re taking me under

Just like that night your lips crashed into mine.

You pulled me under and I couldn’t catch my breath.

Drowning under the weight of you

And enjoying every minute of it.

Knowing everything would come to an end

My vision going black

Knowing I couldn’t turn back.

I just pulled you closer

And fell into your undertow.

[anastralhologram]

[anastralhologram]

Long black lashes flittered, dry eye lids peeling open.

                Those thundery blue-grey eyes squinted, searching around the room trying to figure out where that noise was coming from. After a few more seconds, Rinan realized someone was knocking at the door. “I’m comin’…” She mumbled to no one and threw the covers off of her completely bare body, slightly agitated at the fact that someone had the nerve to bother her. She stood and reaching down she grabbed a handful of clothes. Picking a sheer, light coloured, oversized tank top and charcoal grey pair of pajama shorts, she slipped into them; she tossed the rest of her handful of clothes onto the ground carelessly. She hadn’t bothered with undergarments, prepared to go right back to bed after answering the door. Rinan found her way to the door. Groggily and without thinking, she opened it, forgetting about the peephole.

             “I think I love you.”

             Taking a step back, she quickly slammed the door shut. What? What did he just- She laid back against the door and heard him shout loudly from the other side of the door, clearly caught off guard by her reaction. How dare he just come by and say that to me… She thought to herself, trying to take a moment to just sort things out with herself. Rinan could hear him beckoning to her and she breathed in deeply. “I know you feel it too…” It. What was “it” exactly? She knocked her head back against the door lightly and pushed herself off of it. She wasn’t so sure what she was getting herself into but he wasn’t wrong. There was definitely something between them.

             Rinan turned and reached for the door handle. She pulled open the door and before she had a chance to say or do anything, Dan, fell forward, crashing into her. They both stumbled back into the room a bit, but Dan’s arms instinctively wrapped around her and steadied the two of them. She could feel her heartbeat quicken as he pulled her closer to him. His lips pressed against hers softly and then he buried his face in her neck, kissing her skin. Rinan felt him inhale against her and she wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him pull her closer. He was holding tightly and she loved the urgency of his embrace.

             Something in her just switched though. Every bit of calm he made her feel doubled and turned to fear and anxiety. Rinan moved her arms from his shoulders and placed her hands on his chest, pushing him back from her. She needed to create some space between them. “I… I can’t do whatever ‘this’ is.” She spoke sternly but didn’t dare look up at him. She didn’t want to see his reaction, knowing he’d be upset by her response. This was for the best, wasn’t it?

             Dan’s hands left her waist and she could see his body stepped backwards, away from her. “I can’t believe this.” His voice was quiet and she could hear the disbelief in his tone. Rinan bit her top lip anxiously. Underneath that disbelief she could hear his anger building. His whole body turned from her and he stepped back out of the door he had just fallen through. He paused briefly. “I’m fuckin’ over this Rinan.” She felt tears welling in her eyes but forced them back. Dan had continued on down the hallway and Rinan quickly approached the door and slammed it shut.

             ”FUCK!” She yelled, just trying to get rid of some of her frustration. A few tears were rolling down her cheeks and she raised her arm to her face, wiping them away aggressively. Why was she behaving this way? This is what she wanted. She wanted him to go and she didn’t want to be involved. “What a fucking jerk. What a dumb, stupid, idiot jerk. Why should I care if he’s done? I’M the one who’s done.” She paced from the hallway area to an arm chair and sat. Standing up again immediately, she was too frustrated to sit still. Her stomach was knotted up and she felt sick. Suddenly regret swallowed her up like a tidal wave. Her chest was tight and felt like water had filled her lungs. “What did I do…” She slumped back down onto the chair and more tears fell from her eyes. It was at that moment she realized, maybe she really did love him…

             A thick cloud of grey smoke poured from her lips as she put the rest of her cigarette out. She was standing outside of a small tavern that Bastille had been rumoured to be playing at. It was nearly midnight and she’d been outside, standing by a dim street lamp for about an hour, deciding whether she would have the courage to go in and tell him how she felt. Her hair was slightly damp from the light mist falling from above and she tucked a piece behind her ear. It was now or never.

             As she stepped inside, it was a lot warmer and she shrugged off her jacket and hung it on a nearby coat rack. It was a small tavern and late at night but still crowded with people. She made her way inside and saw Kyle off to the side, speaking to what she assumed were some fans. He stared at her quizzically and she made her way over to him. “What are you doing here?” He asked her, surprisingly not going out of his way to be mean to her even though she had just broken his best mate’s heart. “I need to see Dan. I made a mistake…” she trailed off as Kyle’s eyes went wide. “I’ll help you find him. S’cuse me ladies.” He spoke to the fans he’d been speaking with. He knew good and well where Dan was and as he tried to turn Rinan away and in the opposite direction, she spotted Dan.

             His hand was on the side of some girl’s neck, pulling her closer, deeper into the kiss they shared. His other hand was on her waist, pulling her body into his. Her arms were snaked around his neck and her fingers buried in his hair. Rinan inhaled deeply and nodded. “Don’t tell him I was here.” She spoke, her voice coming out more broken that she would have liked it to. She knew he would tell though… Kyle opened his mouth to speak, surely to make some kind of excuse but Rinan didn’t want to hear it. She just wanted to leave. She spun around and brushed past several people, not bothering with pleasantries. Pushing the door open, the cold air whipped against her bare arms. She couldn’t feel it. She couldn’t feel anything. Rinan reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, getting ready to call a car to pick her up. As she went to dial, her phone lit up. Alex…

[anastralhologram]

[anastralhologram]

[anastralhologram]

Her head tilted back, mouth agape, Rinan let out a loud, seductive moan.

       They just seemed to fit so perfectly and she loved how he felt inside of her. She felt him slipping away from her and she quickly met his eyes. His lips were on hers and he forced himself further inside of her. She moaned against his lips, his tongue taking that as an invitation. Rinan could feel herself losing touch with reality. Her eyes were closed; tongue exploring his, gasping and moaning as she felt his hands all over her and his cock pumping in and out, in and out…  The harder he thrust, the harder her nails dug into the skin on his shoulders and upper back.

                 She felt her back come off against the wall and the two of their bodies were moving. Rinan kept her eyes closed as his lips trailed along her chest and her neck and he laid her on the bed. He raised her leg and she felt him slip further into her. She rocked her hips forward into him, trying to get more of him. Dan started thrusting now, harder and faster, the sense of urgency growing. She felt a warmth swelling inside of her, a thick pleasure and her gasps and moans turned to near screams. She yelled out his name, her back arching, pushing herself as hard as she could against him and he forced himself as close and as deep as he could go inside of her. She clenched around him and Dan buried his face in her neck as the two came together.

                 They lay like that for a moment. Sitting up a bit, he kissed her lips gently.  He rolled to the side, slipping out of her. She bit her lower lip and watched as he lied back on the bed. She rolled to her side and tried to force back a smile as he spoke. “That was amazing.” She couldn’t deny it. It seemed like the whole world had drifted away and it was as if tomorrow didn’t exist. But it did. She was lost in his image. Her eyes took in every feature on his face. She was studying him, trying to burn his face into her mind, to burn the memory into her brain, never wanting to forget this moment. He turned and caught her stare. Leaning in, he kissed her again, even softer than before. She could feel her chest tighten. There was something so painfully beautiful about the way he kissed her. Rinan had never been kissed like this before…

                 She couldn’t handle it. She rolled off to the other side and stood, picking up her clothing and beginning to redress. “I’ve got to be heading off. I’ve got a flight in a few hours…” Her voice was a bit quiet, more quiet than usual. She didn’t make eye contact with him. She couldn’t. Rinan knew if she had she would have been back in that bed, on top of him, losing herself with him once again. “Can I at least walk you home?” she smiled just a bit at his unwillingness to just let her leave alone and nodded in agreement. The two got dressed, finished their business with room service and were off back to Rinan’s hotel.

                 It was about an hour and some later that the two finally made their way back to the hotel room. “Oh, are we here?” He asked. Rinan knew they had been chatting outside of her room for a good ten minutes or so and it was funny to her that he’d just realized it. She laughed softly but it was genuine. She thought he was the cutest thing. “Yup, this is home, for the night anyways.” He stepped closer to her and her heart quickened. She wasn’t ready. That night had been something unlike anything she’d experienced. Their performance, their time in the shower, their time in bed and then their dinner and walk home, all fleeting moments. She was so sure she’d never experience another night like this again. She’d never feel like this again. And she wasn’t ready to let go.

                 Feeling him leaning down into her, she spoke softly, almost nervously. “You wanna come in?” Rinan watched as he grinned at her and nodded; mischief was in his eyes. She spun on the heel and pulled out her room card. Swiping it, she opened the door. She stepped in, knowing Dan would follow but stopped not too far into the room. “Well this is awkward.”

                 A familiar Englishman was sat in an armchair, magazine in hand and glass of whiskey on the table beside him. Rinan’s whole body went hot and her chest got uncomfortably tight. What is he doing here? Oh, wait…

                 “Aaaalleeeexxxx, hhiiiiiii.” Her words were drawn out long, hoping that she wouldn’t need to say much more than that. Anxiety overwhelmed her and she just stood there as Alex stood, grabbing his jacket, slipping in his arms and shrugging it onto his shoulders he made his way over. He recognized Dan and looked him up and down, inwardly sizing up this man Rinan had decided to spend the evening with rather than himself. Alex was friendly, never one to let anyone on to the fact that he may be bothered or even the slightest bit jealous. The two complimented each other’s art and then Alex excused himself. Don’t just let him leave! Rinan opened her mouth to speak but was cut-off by Alex’s lips on her cheek. He cut between the two of them and took her hand in his, kissing it softly. “See you next time, love.” He spoke and let himself out.

                 As soon as the door shut, Rinan made her way over to the bed and sank down into it, burying her head in her hands. She was embarrassed and guilty. Guilt? Why do I feel like this? He’s not even a thing. We’re not even a thing… She thought to herself, trying to make herself feel better about the situation. The look in his eyes though… She was suddenly overwhelmed by Dan’s presence in the room. “I’m really sorry about that. I had no idea he was going to be here.” She told Dan, her hands still covering her face, trying to get her thoughts together. “That was Alex Turner.”

                 “…but why was Alex Turner in your room?” She wasn’t ready to answer this. She wasn’t sure how to answer this. Letting out a soft sigh, she laid back on the bed and put her arms behind her head. “Well, I’m not sure.” She told Dan while staring up at the ceiling. It wasn’t the full truth but it wasn’t quite a lie either. “Alex and I have known each other for a while and sometimes when we happen to be in the same place, we hang out.” Hang out with our genitals… She didn’t say that last part of course, but it ran through her mind. When she didn’t hear anything from Dan, she sat up and looked over in the direction he had been. She sat up just in time to see the door shut.

                 Two months. Two months had gone by and she hadn’t seen or heard from Dan. Not that she really had much time to look or reach out to him if she wanted to. She thought of him often though. Their duet had gone viral and she was asked often in interviews about the two and if they were involved romantically. Of course she always denied. It was no one’s business what had gone on between the two of them.

                 Rinan sunk further into her chair. She was sitting alone on an empty patio outside of a coffee shop in London. It was called Raison D’etre. Most of the local crowd was gathered inside due to the rain. She had a full weekend all to herself and all she could do was think of Dan. She had bumped into Alex a few times since the whole debacle and while he used to help fill the emptiness that sometimes ate away at her; things were different now. Now it was just fucking. Just having sex to try and feel something. Still, nothing compared to those two nights she had spent with Dan. She craved the look in his eyes and the feeling of his hands tightly gripping at her skin. His voice…

                 “Rinan?” It was almost as if she could hear him now, clear as crystal. “Rinan?” Snapping from her thoughts her head and body jerked and back she went. Her whole chair had tipped backwards and her legs kicked the underside of the table, causing her tea to spill. “Oh fuck me…” she mumbled quietly to herself, rolling to the side, parts of her body wet now from the standing rain on the ground . As she stood, he felt a hand on her arm trying to help ease her balance. “Thanks.” She spoke, finally looking at the helpful stranger. She stood there for a moment, saying nothing at all. How did they keep meeting this way? He could have been anywhere in the world but here he was, standing right in front of her.

                 Dan broke the silence though, asking what she was doing there. She shook her head and shrugged, suddenly anger washing over her. “Having tea.” She replied shortly. Rinan turned away and picked up her chair from where it had fallen over on the ground. She took her seat again and looked down at her spilled tea. She glared at it. Dan took the seat in front of her and sat there with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at her. Rinan straightened her cup up, refusing to look at Dan. She could feel him still staring. “Dan, look-“ He cut her off before she could finish. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I overreacted.” Rinan looked up and caught his gaze. He was genuine.  “It’s not like we’re together. It’s not like you’re mine.” There it was. She wasn’t sure if the pain she felt inside from his words was visible or not but she did her best to hide it. “You’re right. I’m not.” She retorted. The current drizzle was quickly turning into a heavier rain. She glanced up at the sky briefly before standing. “I’ll see you around Dan…” Rinan headed off down the sidewalk. She wasn’t going anywhere in particular but things had just gotten too intense for her. Part of her hoped he’d chase after her but she soon realized that wasn’t going to happen. He must not have felt what she had felt. It must have been just another conquest for him.

                 After wandering around in the pouring rain for a bit, a tired and quite drenched Rinan made her way back to her hotel room. All she wanted was sleep. She wanted to sleep her entire weekend away. Unlocking her door, she stepped inside and peeled her soaked clothes from her body, carelessly throwing them in a corner pile. She made her way to her bed, throwing back the covers and burying herself underneath them. Her body was cold from the rain and the warmth of the covers felt comforting. She went over and over with herself in her mind, not quite sure what had just happened between the two of them. Why did I say that? No, why did he say that? And why the fuck did it hurt so much… She slowly drifted off to sleep, all the while Dan still on her mind…

[anastralhologram]

[anastralhologram]

don't kiss me if you're afraid of thunder. my life is a storm.

anita krizzan

[anastralhologram]

”I can’t believe you guys do this for a job!”

Rinan exclaimed, still on a bit of a high after performing in front of so many people. She had always been a performer but never to this extent and it was exhilarating. Kyle mentioned her joining the band and a subtle blush rose to the apples of her cheeks. It was dim though, so no one noticed. She was so appreciative of them letting her join in; she thanked them all several times. Finally, Woody mentioned something about hitting up some bars. Alex… Rinan cleared her throat. “Thanks again for this amazing night, guys, but I think I’d better head home.” She didn’t give a reason. She didn’t need to and it was no one’s business that she may be meeting up with Mr. Turner later that evening.

 She felt a warm hand on her back through the thin fabric of her romper. “I think I’m going to head back to the hotel, too. I’m exhausted.” Rinan nodded, assuming he must really be exhausted after that amazing performance he had just done. This is it, I guess. She thought to herself, feeling the night coming to a close between the two of them. They walked quietly, hand in hand through the way they had come in and as Dan held the door open for her, she was hit with a cool whip of wind. It felt amazing outside, enjoying the small drizzle that was falling from the sky. Rinan felt goosebumps rising on her arms. Waiting for her driver, Dan broke the silence, leaning close to her. “When you said you needed to head home, I’m hoping that you meant back to my hotel room?”

 Rinan tilted her head to the side, not expecting him to be so forward with her. She moved closer to him in response. “I think you mean ‘back to your bed’.” She retorted, biting down on her lower lip gently, her mischievous eyes staring into his until he leaned his, his lips pressing into hers. She kissed back, softly, just trying to savor this feeling, not know how long she’d be able to feel this way. Her car pulled up and the two broke apart. He opened her door for her and she climbed inside. Upon getting inside, she slipped her boots off and wiggled her toes around. If it were up to her, she’d never wear shoes.  The two talked about several things. Like, dislikes, just general things, nothing too deep. He asked her a question about her family, but she deterred from answering. Her family was just a whole other thing that she herself didn’t understand.

 They made it to the hotel and his room in pretty good time. He asked if she were hungry as she took a seat on his bed, her feet dangling off of the edge. “Yeah, I’ll just have whatever you are, thank, Dan.” She told him, intentionally saying his name. She wanted to see how she felt saying it. Pleasant, and not awkward at all. She didn’t plan on eating. She didn’t know what she had planned on. It was just once again, they were alone together. She enjoyed his company and couldn’t help but wonder if the whole night was just a clever rouge to get her back in bed. She didn’t mind of course; she had enjoyed that night they shared more than anything in a long time. She just wondered.

 He excused himself to the shower and she nodded. ”Oh take your time.” Next this she knew his lips went from her cheek to her own lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him down, and closer to her. His arms wrapped around her and his tongue played with hers. She moaned softly into his mouth and he broke from her. Dan took a step back and smiled slyly, leaving her to have his shower. Rinan exhaled deeply as soon as the door was shut. She just didn’t understand how one man could make her feel so many things at once.  And she had never craved someone so badly in her light. Pulling herself from her thoughts, she stood. Part of her wanted to leave. She felt the need to bolt, to take off and run from all of these things she was feelings. She wanted to run back to Alex, somewhere familiar, where she knew exactly what it was and what it meant to each other. She was so torn.

 Reaching around her body, she tugged at the zipper on the back of her romper. What am I doing? She questioned herself as her delicate fingers slid the zipper down in the back. This isn’t leaving Rinan. Telling herself that, she shrugged off the one piece and took the waist of her panties in her hands, stepping out of them one leg at a time and just dropping them to the floor. This is exactly the opposite of going home. Rinan took her arm cuff and set it on a nearby table and made her way to the bathroom door. She hesitated a moment. This was it; this was her last chance to stray…

 She turned the handle, and stepped inside, the whole room full of steam. She shut the door behind her, making a bit of noise so he’d know she was there. She said nothing but stepped inside with him. Her eyes were locked on his body, checking him out, taking him all in. He was so tall… He stepped aside a bit so the water would hit the both of them. Thank god for waterproof mascara. She placed her hands on his soapy chest as he put his hands on her waist. They stood there a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes, something they probably did all too often. She rubbed her hands against his chest, lathering the soap even more. There was something so sensual about washing another person. Her hands traveled down his chest to his stomach and she felt him tense up under her touch. Is he nervous? She thought to herself, moving back up to his chest. He leaned down and kissed her softly, his arms around her waist, lathering her back and then a bit lower. She arched against him a bite, refusing to let out a moan that was dying to be heard. The two carried on in the shower this way, cleaning and caressing each other, kissing deeply and sensually.

 It was a little while later and the two were out of the shower, now kissing heavily. He had her pressed against the bedroom wall, her arms pinned about her head, teasing her lips with his. He’d go to kiss her and as soon as they’d start, he’d tear away. There was a glint of naughtiness in his eyes, knowing he was making her crazy. He knew how badly she wanted him, and he was just playing with her, teasing her. He wouldn’t give her what she wanted and it only made her want him more. She could feel how wet he was making her and she adjusted, closing the space between her thighs. He brushed his lips against hers again, this time when he went to pull back, her teeth tugged on his lower lip, almost pleading with him to stay. There was so much sexual tension in their gaze…

[anastralhologram]

[anastralhologram]

“Why can’t you just stay blue?”

                Rinan question herself as she stared into her own eyes, getting distracted by them whilst trying to put on a bit of mascara. She didn’t do the whole full face of makeup thing, but occasionally she liked to use a few pieces. And mascara was one of her go to items. She had naturally large eyes, but she liked when they looked a bit larger. Her usual ocean blue eyes were currently grey. A light coloured, almost cartoony grey shade. Her eyes always did this and she could never figure out why.

                 Sighing defeated, she finished applying her mascara and stepped back from the full length mirror she was stood in front of.  Running her fingers through her naturally messy, wavy, chocolate locks, she took in her appearance. She wanted to look good for the show. Dan would be on stage the whole time, and not really be paying her mind, but something inside of her still tugged at the fact that she needed to look good… for him…

                 Rinan had on a solid black romper. It was sleeveless and had a very low v cut down the chest. It was very short, only making her already long legs look that much thinner and longer. She had on a pair of black wedge booties and to dress up the simple romper, she had found a really bohemian almost chain-like belt to put around her waist. She wasn’t too into wearing jewelry as whole, too much effort to take on and off, so she just slipped an arm cuff on her upper left arm. She was torn against wearing another black hat so she decided against the idea of a hat, and just let her hair be free and wild. If she needed to during the night, she could put it in a bun without any hair elastics and get it out of her way. Her eyes caught the reflection of one of her clocks in the mirror. Fuck! She thought to herself as she grabbed a small handful of cash and her room key. She was running more behind than she had though. As she left her room, she prayed her car was already downstairs waiting for her.

                 Sitting in the car that had in fact been waiting for her, Rinan’s mind wandered. Dan had actually bought her album. Had he been thinking of her? Or was he just curious of what she sounded like after finding her on the cover of one of the most famous music magazines? So many things swam through her mind all jumbling her up. She thought of Alex and smiled softly. He had always been such an amazing friend to her, not to mention an incredible lover. Lover. Dan came to mind and Rinan felt almost a jolt in her chest. Being honest with herself, no man had ever made her feel the way he had that night. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was just a fluke or if it was just Dan. She wasn’t sure if he had felt what she had. Or if maybe that’s how it was whenever he slept with other women because of course there were others. “Ma’am, are you alright?”

                 Rinan turned and looked up to the front seat, her driver’s face furrowed with worry. “Yes! Sorry.” She apologized. Glancing around she realized the car had stopped and they had arrived. Dan had told her he’d leave her name with a bouncer in the back and to just let them know it was her when she arrived. Opening the door and stepping out of the car, she spoke a quick thank you to Elliot, her driver. Rinan walked up to a big, stocky, muscly man who had ink just poured all over his body. “Good evening. I’m Rinan.” She fluttered warmly. She had always been a very nice girl to most people and couldn’t understand why anyone took the effort to be blatantly mean to others. The guard opened the door and let her step inside. “Hey, this is Dan’s guest, can you go let him know a “Rinan” is here?” another security guard shook his head and took off through a hallway. She assumed he was going to get dan to verify she was allowed to be there. Better safe than sorry, I guess…

                 The guard, who had let her in, stepped back out, leaving her to stand there alone. She could hear the sound of music playing and she hoped that she wasn’t so late that Bastille had begun performing. Soon she saw two figures approaching, one significantly taller than the other. Dan! She didn’t realize it but a huge smile coated her face, those pale grey eyes gleaming. “Hey stranger.” She greeted him, stepping closer and kissing her cheek. That was usually how she greeted friends but as her lips touched his skin she swore there were sparks. “Sorry I’m a bit late. I just lost track of time.” Painfully away of how lame her excuse was she cringed inwardly. He didn’t seem bothered at all though. In fact, he took her hand in his and began leading her back the way he’d come from. “I’ve got some people I’d like you to meet.” Dan told her. She assumed it’d be his bandmates and she found excitement growing inside of her. She loved being around talented people and these people were clearly talented.

                 Finally reaching the backstage area, she saw three boys stood in different positions and instantly recognized them. Dan cleared his throat and they turned to face him, the band opening for them was still playing their set. “Ey, this is Rinan.” Dan announced, pulling her forward a bit, almost as if he was showing her off. She raised the hand that wasn’t being held by Dan’s and gave a little wave.  She could feel the boys’ eyes burning into her. Well, Woody and Kyle at least, Will was a bit more subtle than the other two. “This is Woody, Kyle and Will.” He introduced her, pointing to each respective member. She could feel the boys’ eyes burning into her. Well, Woody and Kyle at least, Will was a bit more subtle than the other two. Kyle approached her and wrapped her in a warm, friendly hug. “So you’re the girl we’ve been hearing so much about!” He exclaimed. She let go of Dan’s hand to hug him back and couldn’t help but smile. How friendly… she thought. And then Kyle’s words echoed in her mind. Hearing so much about? He told them about me? So much? Rinan didn’t have too much time to dwell on the thought.

                 Kyle let go of her, taking a step back. The five of them shared in some small talk, the other band coming off stage from their set and the crew setting up the stage for Bastille. As the boys laughed and joked, Rinan just took in her surroundings. Soon this would be her life. It made her anxious and excited all at once. She felt Dan’s hand on the small of her back and she turned to him. Before he could say anything a crew member came over. “Alright mates, we’re set.” And with that the crew person bustled away. The band said their see ya laters and headed towards the stage. The lights were starting to dim. Dan stared down at her, their bodies facing towards each other’s now. Neither spoke, they just stood there, staring into the others eyes, completely smitten and not realizing it. At least Rinan didn’t anyway. “C’mon mate!” Kyle shouted, and then stepped out onto the stage. Dan excused himself and Rinan followed him right to the side of the stage. “I’m so excited to watch.” Rinan admitted and Dan grinned at her. Turning, he stepped out onto the stage. It was pitch black besides the red lights strobing on the many television screens in the backdrop. IT WAS A SLIGHT ON MY HONOUR SO HE DESERVED IT. Rinan knew this one. They were opening with Send Them Off. The lights had gone up and the band had begun to play. Dan not missing a beat began to belt out his lyrics his body moving with his words and the music. He put so much effort into their show, her heart was racing just watching him. The band as a whole was mesmerizing. But Dan’s body, moving and dancing to the music and his voice… She felt heat swelling in her body. Watching him perform was such a turn on.

                 As the show continued, they performed a ton of songs, some she hadn’t heard before. She fell in love with Warmth when it was performed. As the night progressed, she felt herself lost in the music, dancing, swaying, and even singing along. Bastille’s final performance was Pompeii and the entire crowd went wild. She thought they’d been excited before but now more than ever, they were pumped up. Everyone screamed and sang along and it was just one of the most exhilarating things to watch. She couldn’t help but notice how naturally it came to Dan. He just had this intense presence about it.

                 The song came to a finish and as the boys began to walk off stage, the crowd began to chant. “ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!” They continued to do so. Bastille loved doing encores and would generally perform a cover of a song. Everyone had stepped off stage and Dan, breath heavy and covered in sweat grinned slyly. He asked Rinan if she knew My Body by Young the Giant. She nodded a yes, very confused. He signaled the rest of the band and they stepped back out on stage. The crowd went wild again and Dan spoke into the microphone. He was saying that they had a special guest back stage and Rinan’s heart both sank and leapt at the same time.  She listened as he introduced her. He had talked her up a great deal and said so many charming, sweet things. Glancing over to the side of the stage she was on, he waved her over. She stood there, frozen. This was all so sudden. What if she forgot the words? What if they didn’t sound right together? Before she knew it though, her feet were moving her forward and she was on stage. The crowd’s size was unbelievable. So many people, she couldn’t make out all of the faces. Dan gave her a mic. “Hello Miami! Let’s hear it for the boys! These guys are amazing!” What was she doing. It was all just coming out of her mouth. Again, the audience went wild.

                 The drums started and soon followed guitar, bass… The stage was almost vibrating from the sound. Dan started off the song, completely nailing the first verse. As the chorus came he glanced over at her and she opened her mouth and her throat. “My body tells me noohoh! But I won’t quit, ‘cause I want more!” They sang in unison. Feeling more comfortable she took over the second verse, both their bodies moving to the beat of the music. The second chorus came and the two hopped up and down, the crowd joining them. The two had such powerful voices but they didn’t have to compete with each other. They harmonized perfectly. There was so much give and take and for two people who had never performed together, they looked as if they had done it a million times. They were so in sync with each other and genuinely having so much fun together on stage and amping up the crowd. It was over all too soon. Dan thanked the crowd once more and the band and Rinan made their way off stage. She felt as though her heart was going to beat straight out of her chest. She couldn’t wait to make this a regularly occurring part of her life.

[anastralhologram]