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oh to be the only girl who instills weakness within you

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my head hates you.

my head hates the way you hurt me,

hates the way you told me you didn’t mean what you said-

my head wants you dead.

but my heart still wants you.

my head knows you weren’t good for me.

my head knows all the pain you put me through,

the way you made me second guess myself,

wasn’t worth it.

my head knows i’m better off without you.

but my stupid, reckless heart still loves you.

-god, i really wish my heart could hate you. c.r.

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instagram

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by stacie.martin

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Reminder:

stop hiding from yourself. there’s too much to lose. you deserve to be whole. stop looking for a band aid for your broken heart. take the time to heal the hurt. you deserve to be cared for in the same way you care for others. stop giving yourself the short end of the stick.

you are worthy of being whole.

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I think that one of the scariest things is watching a person grow out of you. Almost as if you are an old pair of shoes that they have worn a bit too long and you are stuck in what once was and they have already moved on and slowly the person that you met only exist in your head and you can’t help but fight for a love that is long been pronounced dead because love requires that we grow together. You along with me but truth be told sometimes in love, you start to grow separately

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And I think that maybe, just maybe, you and I were destined to fall in love. We were destined to experience that once in a lifetime love that will forever leave it's footprints on our hearts. However, through some cruel twist of faith, although we were destined to fall in love, we were never meant to be with each other. And though our love will live on, through the end of time, we will utter each other's name as our last breaths. Forever loving, forever yearning, forever wishing for one last moment together.

Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #404

21/1/2021

11:49 pm

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insta: @darichonne

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“I'll be honest, I'm in between of like an ending and beginning of my life. Where running away somewhere no one knows ‘bout me nudges my back like a lot harder more than now than ever. I have my books and writing to escape, sure. And yet it seems like it's not enough and yet I know I'm brave but not stupid enough to just go. Impulsivity never brought me something good in this short life. I would love to run and never go back. Wandering could be my life now that I appreciate having no destination— wandering until I find my own home; until I find my waves to its own shore.”

—Gallene //waves to my own shore; 01.22.2021

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“Your presence is like the wind. It’ll touch me and pass me right by.”

— Chand Sifarish, Fanaa

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1. sylvia Plath, the unabridged journals pt. 165 || 2. Mary lambert (art by @heavensghost ) || 3. cj hauser, the crane wife || 4. julie carr, real life: with voice and rights || 5. eliot knight || 6. sufjan stevens (art by @heavensghost ) || 7. ivan turgenev, first love

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when hozier said "the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you" and leonard cohen said "but remember when i moved in you and the holy dove was moving too and every breath we drew was hallelujah" and when lana del rey said "when i'm down on my knees you're how i pray" then "sing me like a bible hymn"

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“

Don’t give up on me.

Don’t give up on the maybes.

Baby.

Hold on to what you know. I love you. I love us.

I want you. I want us.

“

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“it’s always the same ending, it’s the way our story goes. with me losing you.”

— endings are always the saddest part / letters of a lost love.//t.c