and-so-it-continues-blog

[and-so-it-continues-blog]

Chapter 1

    Hey there, ironic friend. I shall call you that. Ironic friend. The irony of it is that I have no friends. I mean I do if you consider the, “superficial-shallow-no meaning to it” kind of friends.     Background: I grew up hardly close to any of my cousins. They’re all close and they all consider each other family, if not siblings. I was never apart of that group. Friends? Every year they change, I never really belonged to a specific group from Elementary to College. Every year someone new comes in and someone old leaves. To most consistent thing going for me right now is my current boyfriend, Ryan. A little over 3 years and going. I have no siblings and my parents are there for me when it’s convenient for them (heh sounds bad when I say it like that), but I’ve gotten used to that factor.     Present: Strange, I was never really lonely though. Despite the fact I grew up as an only child, and I have no “real” friends that have stuck with me through the years, I’ve never really felt lonely up until now. I’ve burned a lot of good and bad bridges in the last few years. I guess I really couldn’t tell the difference between good and bad people anymore. I just stopped caring therefore I just burned them all and pushed them all away. I put myself in this spot, in this cage, and I gave everyone the key, but myself.     I’m 23 and I don’t feel like I have anything going for me. I didn’t do well when I was in school, never really cared, didn’t go to college. So, I guess what like what most people say, “ I have no one to blame, but myself”. Well, then yes, I am very well aware of that. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. For right now I live by a few sayings “Hindi ako pagod sa buhay, pagod ako mabuhay” which translates to “I’m not tired of life, I’m tired of living” that, and “If life doesn’t kill me faster, than these cigarettes will.” That’s self explanatory.

    With that being said: Welcome to my world and so it continues...