andrastesdirtysocks

[andrastesdirtysocks]

I'm reblogging this here bc I saw @thiefbird reblog on my dash and Anders' icon made it even funnier.

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[andrastesdirtysocks]

A guide to swearing in Thedas

These are all taken from the toolset (mostly under “cuss” in the soundsets, but also from various bits of dialogue), organized for your convenience.

These are Dragon Age: Origins ONLY. There are no files that are human-readable for DA:A, DA2, or any DLC or expansions.

Not English the King’s Tongue

Brasca! (Zevran)

Vashedan! (Sten)

Pretty normal

Alas!

Blast it all, anyhow!

Blasted bastards!

Blech. (Sandal)

Blood and ashes.

Blood and honor!

Bloody blast it!

Bollocks.

Cripes.

Crud!

Curse me for a fool!

Cursed for a fool!

Curses!

Confound it! (Flemeth, of all people)

Damnation!

Drat!

Fiddlesticks!

Blast and blazes!

Blast and damnation! (Morrigan)

Blasted curses of a thousand misfortunes!

Blood and damnation! (Leliana)

Burn it all!

Fire and death!

Dirt and spit!

Flaming bastard.

Garbage!

Lazy, slack-jawed louts.

Miserable wretch.

Of all the blasted–!

Of all the cursed–!

Of all the infernal–! (Riordan)

Of all the–! (Leliana)

Oh dear.

Oh, bother!

Oh, for pity’s sake!

Oh, poppycock.

Oh… blast it! (Alistair)

Phooey!

Shoddy piece of crap!

Sod it all!

Son of a bitch!

Son of an inbred!

Tarnation!

That’s a stinker! (fade!Cailan)

That’s swill!

Those bloody whoresons.

Thrice-cursed whorespawn.

Two-faced bastards.

Elves

Bleeding thorns!

By the lost Dales!

Fenharel’s teeth!

Mythal'enaste!

Slap me around and call me a wild sylvan! (Shianni)

Well punch me in the teeth and call me a wild sylvan…

Invocations of Andraste

By the Lady!

Andraste’s ashes!

Andraste’s breath!

For the love of Andraste!

For the love of Lady Andraste!

Lady’s breath!

Merciful Andraste!

Oh, Andraste, help me…

Oh, for Andraste’s sake.

Oh, for the love of Blessed Andraste!

Oh, for the love of the Maker’s Bride.

Well, throw me in a fire and call me Andraste!

Andraste’s clothing

Andraste’s holy knickers!

By Andraste’s burning under-drawers!

By Andraste’s dirty socks!

By Andraste’s holy knickers!

By Andraste’s sword!

Andraste’s ass

Andraste’s ass!

Andraste’s fat ass!

Andraste’s lily-white ass!

Maferath’s hairy arse! (bonus Andraste’s husband’s ass due to not having another category in which to put it)

The Maker

Great Maker!

Holy Maker!

Maker damn you for a fool!

Maker-forsaken piece of–

Maker’s beard!

Maker’s Blood.

Maker’s breath! (by far the most common Thedas-specific curse)

Tears of the Maker!

Paragons

Aeducan’s beard!

Beards of the Paragons!

Bemot’s beard!

Blood of the Paragons!

By the beards of the Paragons!

Caridin’s teeth!

Ortan’s teeth!

Paragon’s teeth!

Paragons have mercy!

Ancestors

Ancestors have mercy!

By the hairs of my ancestors!

By the stones of the Ancestors!

By the teats of my ancestors!

By the tits of my ancestors!

Dwarf culture

Bronto piss!

By the Stone!

For the love of nugs and idiot children!

Nug-dung!

Nug-humper!

Nugs and dolts!

Stonecursed duster!

Stones!

What the nug!

 The Blight

Ah, Blight!

Blight and destruction!

Blighted wretch!

Darkspawn blood!

Fire and Blight!

Griffon’s buttocks! (fade!Duncan)

 The Fade

Blasted fade monkeys!

By the Black City!

By the walls of the golden city! (Desire demon)

Fade monkeys! 

Racial epithets

Bare-skinned shem!

Filthy elf-lover!

Bloody elf guts!

Son of a Fereldan bitch! (Tevinter guard)

Pee and poop

Ah, piss and vinegar.

Crap!

Dog piss!

Flaming rat turds.

Oh, piss on it!

Piss and blood!

Piss and spittle!

Piss on a stick.

Piss on it!

Shit.

Shite.

Stinking road apples!

Turd!

Dogs

Base-born jackal.

Bloody kibble!

Flea-bitten whelps.

Hound’s arse!

Miserable cur!

Of all the motherless mongrels.

Scurvy dogs! (Isabela)

 Food

Applesauce!

Beans and spuds!

Milk and cookies! (Perpetua)

Pickles! (Paivel)

Ugh! That’s bean-rot!

Fereldan culture and history

By the giant stones of the Dwarfson.

Great Dane’s bitch.

Calenhad’s crown! (fade!Maric)

 Animals and insects

Dung beetles!

Flies and bother!

For the love of little fish.

Hind of a jackrabbit!

Hog wash!

Horse feathers! (Wynne)

Motherless son of a goat.

Oh, donkey bum!

Oh… f-frogs! (Daveth)

Oh… rats.

Ox dung!

Pigeon crap! (Shale)

Rats!

Rotten maggot-spawn!

Skunk breath! (Sloth)

Shave a horse and punch me in the teeth.

Spawn of motherless goat.

Sod-eating rodents!

Well, wax my head and call me a pug!

what is this i dont even

Dust bugger!

Oh, fuddle-knuckles.

Stab me with a fork and call me Susan! (Carroll)

Thunder humper! (Oghren)

Whiplash and Crow sauce!

You dung-brained goat herder.

[andrastesdirtysocks]

kirkwall soju. do you see my vision

from this post

[andrastesdirtysocks]

Despite my love for Cullen there's so little of him on this blog I thought previous name was misleading.

[andrastesdirtysocks]

[andrastesdirtysocks]

three fools does not make a wise man i fear

[andrastesdirtysocks]

[andrastesdirtysocks]

the grey wardens being rat bastards is literally my favorite part of the order this isn't a joke. i love it so much. an order of legendary knights who act as the sole protectors of their continent against an existential threat, and they're literally trained to not care about anything else but stopping that threat. it's so heghghgrhhghh

[andrastesdirtysocks]

since ya'll liked the aged versions of Fenris and Anders so much...

also without text

wanted to try imitating Inquisition ending images

[andrastesdirtysocks]

what if in the decades following the dissolution of the Circles, Anders' reputation slowly turns from "terrorist" to "folk hero" and many Colleges have portraits or statues of him.

and then what if there's a superstition at the Ferelden College of Enchanters where they place little cat toys at the statue for good luck during exams.

[andrastesdirtysocks]

hawke is a terrible flirt btw. who the fuck listens to a guy baring his soul about letting a spirit of justice possess him but being afraid his own anger twisted said spirit into vengeance and calls it a curse of his own making etc and responds with "well that explains your whole sexy, tortured look" like is now the time?? his boyfriend literally just begged to be killed because he was made tranquil hawke please read the room

[andrastesdirtysocks]

Free, finally

First quick picture of my Awakening Anders! I've been working on this costume almost daily for the past 3-4 months (and I've wanted to make it for a full decade now), and I'm so glad to finally wear it! There's a lot I need to fine-tune, still, but eyyyyy I can finally cosplay my favourite mage rights activist again!

Photo by AG

[andrastesdirtysocks]

Official Handers Exchange Roundup!

And just like that, the Handers Gift Exchange for 2025 has officially come to a close! On behalf of all the moderators, we would love to thank each and every one of our 24 participants who showed great love for Hawke and Anders and wonderful effort and generosity for their giftees.

To see all the wonderful gifts our participants have created, please look below for links!

A final reminder to our participants: please make sure you fulfill your part as giftee by leaving a comment of at least three lines in length! Be it in AO3 comments, tumblr reblogs, or tumblr tags.

Fanfiction:

@daysofauldlangsyne - oh! how free will we be! - AO3 - m!Handers

@full---ofstarlight - you pierce my soul - AO3 - f!Handers

@goth-surana - Of Pardons and Regrets - AO3 - m!Handers

@heinrixvancunt - hawke's day - Tumblr - m!Handers

@lenioxoxo - Scorch Your Flesh and Shatter Your Heart - AO3 - m!Handers

@librivore42 - Without you, without me - tumblr - f!Handers

@little--abyss - Speak the Word Only - AO3 - m!Handers

@only-slightly-terrified - Come hell or high water - AO3 - m!Handers

@pinkfadespirit - in dark times and forever - AO3 - m!Handers

@sandcoloredcat - I Need a Healer - AO3 - m!Handers

@storybookhawke - Forever Isn't Long Enough - AO3 - m!Handers

@transandersrights - Recycling, fear, and the civic importance of kissing - AO3 - nb!Handers

@winebearcat - Love Bite - AO3 - m!Handers

Fanart:

@auphaniim - m!Handers - tumblr

@bowiebond - m!Handers - tumblr - and a second piece!

@ceredblythe - m!Handers - tumblr

@comfortyart - m!Handers - tumblr

@emeraldscholar - m!Handers - tumblr

@falcatas - m!Handers - tumblr

@justafterjuly - m!Handers - tumblr

@only-the-coolest-apples - m!Handers - tumblr

@ridivenire - m!Handers - tumblr

@salsedinepicta - m!Handers - tumblr

@winterhartarts - f!Handers - tumblr

[andrastesdirtysocks]

you see a man blow up the chantry and you’re NOT supposed to propose to him on the spot and then run off into the sunset with him?? Smh

-

This is my handers exchange gift for @transandersrights !! I hope you like it <3!

[andrastesdirtysocks]

oh Anders dragon age they'll never make me hate you

[andrastesdirtysocks]

Pick your Hawke:

Micromanaging out of guilt

Deeply in denial about everything

Life is shit and I'm an ass about it

[andrastesdirtysocks]

Once on tiktok I was debating about Anders (as one does) and after several exchanged comments the other person went like: "sorry i didnt realize it was you, we will never agree about him, bye"

u ever wonder if ur associated with a character forever to someone else. like. when ur scrolling ur dash and u see a url u don't recognize and after going to their blog ur like ohhh this is the Character person. yeah ok i remember now.