androgynous-valgrace-trash
androgynous-valgrace-trash
drew kinnie
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i make pjo content
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trios
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Reblog if you are ASEXUAL, SUPPORT ASEXUALS, or really really want to WEAR A REALLY FANCY BLACK CAPE
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i. nico ⟿ people of victory
          ii. wavy dark hair, streaked brown amidst black. brown eyes like cinnamon that would be kind if they were not quite so haunted. pink lips that rarely move. pale skin. red circles rimming dark eyelashes. the constant chatter of ghosts. fingers curling around the hilt of a sword. roaring anger, like the pump of blood in your throat. a quiet death. the clatter of bones. the stain of pomegranate juice, like blood down chins. big sweaters and knee-socks. dark eye makeup and dangling earrings. silver rings on thin fingers.
                      iii. how easy it is to want to belong, like a deeply ingrained desire. you want to be a part of something. so how sad it must be, to be born of death, and to be haunted wherever you go. everyone i love dies, so run away before you trail more grief in your wake. you’re made half of flesh and half of brittle bones, and you’re only fifteen years old.
                                       iv. “ your death would be great for me. ”
                                                                   v. kyoto by phoebe bridgers. i’m gonna kill you, if you don’t beat me to it
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here are some of my Nico headcanons that nobody asked for!!
He collects things. Not just Mythomagic stuff like he did as a kid, but cool shells, and rocks, and weird glass figurines that everyone else thinks are terrifying, and books. He’s got them in jars or lined up on shelves and he just has so many things (Because for so long he had so few things that actually belonged to him that didn’t have to serve a very clear purpose, so now he just wants to keep whatever he’d like)
He reads SO much as an adult. A lot of it is nonfiction because he’s trying to catch up on what happened in the world while he was pulled out of it, but a lot of fiction too (not really fantasy though, that’s too close to home) and a lot of poetry. He can recite poems from memory and will just randomly quote them sometimes and it should be pretentious but it isn’t and his friends think it’s amazing (cue dramatically saying "till love and fame to nothingness do sink" anytime he's told he has to wait) (Also, he will rant about why Ted Hughes sucks at any point in time)
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again!! He is a Dungeon Master! He’s got a binder for all the notes for his current campaign and a notebook for ideas and special highlighters and pens that he only uses for D&D. Also, dice are definitely one of the things he collects and he keeps them in those clear, plastic bead containers with dividers and they’re sorted by number of faces and also ~vibes~ (for example, do a backflip D20 and life or death D20)
leather jacket Nico di Angelo? seen, respected, and appreciated. CARDIGAN Nico di Angelo? underrated! He has a couple oversized cardigans with buttons and big pockets that he adores. The first one he ever had he definitely stole from Will but now, whenever he comes across another similar one, he buys it. The pockets are filled with rocks and worn, mass-market paperbacks and pens. (Basically, I’m leaning hard into English Major Nico with his annotated books and glasses and cardigans) (Also, cardigan Nico and flannel Will but sometimes they swap)
He definitely cuts his own hair in the bathroom and he's gotten very good at it. He's had a range of haircuts, from long hair to a mullet to the shaved sides and fluffy top, but he always ends up back with a shaggy mop that Hazel likes to put little braids in (or sometimes pull the very back of it into two little pigtails) and with bangs that always end up in his eyes.
Sorry to reiterate the same point that's been made forever, but his wardrobe is pretty dark-toned. Obviously black, but he does like a good jewel tone, perhaps a maroon or an emerald. Anything really bright was either a gift or belongs to Will someone else. Also, gendered clothing means nothing to him. He wears what he wants to wear and he thinks it's cool as hell when he's wearing a skirt while sparring and it flares out dramatically as he twirls.
He's kind of picked up modern slang but he also uses a lot of slang from pretty much every decade he missed. It's also a 50/50 chance he's using it incorrectly. (examples include: 1) Leo says something that is definitely supposed to be funny and Nico stares at him, utterly emotionless, and says "Gag me with a spoon" in an alarmingly monotone voice, and 2) Anytime he says something snarky to Jason or Percy he starts it with "hey bestie..." and honestly, they're both just touched Nico called them "bestie" at all)
He adores Studio Ghibli movies and can be found humming the Ponyo theme song anytime he goes swimming (Will standing on the shore, looking around for Nico and he eventually spots him in the water. He wades out to Nico, all sunglasses that shouldn't look so cool and golden hair and chest, and just greets him with "Hey there, Neeks, how's my fishie in the sea?" and Nico can't decide if he wants to drown himself or kiss Will on his stupid mouth)
Speaking of movies, shortly after the Giant War, all of his friends (the Seven, Reyna, Will, probably Lou Ellen and Cecil, too) showed up at his cabin with blankets and snacks. They each brought their favorite movie or movies they think he needs to see to catch him up on the modern age. At first, he acts disgruntled that they're all there but he very quickly settles into the blanket fort Annabeth constructs and is quietly very grateful and excited that they cared enough to do this for him. They're all holed up in his cabin for a full day until they've finished every movie. (Percy brought Finding Nemo, Annabeth brought Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Piper brought Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Jason brought Captain America: The First Avenger (and Nico definitely says "that's gay" when Steve and Bucky say there "Until the end of the line" shit and everybody absolutely loses their minds), Hazel also is behind on movies but she brought either a very scary movie or Moana, Frank brought A New Hope (though he considered Brother Bear), Will brought Spirited Away, Cecil brought Back to the Future, and Lou Ellen brought The Princess Bride)
He can play the piano! He gets a piano for the Hades cabin and on nights where he can't sleep and the nightmares are really bad, he plays piano.
He will cry if he hears I Will by Mitski or Wasteland, Baby by Hozier, for different reasons but also kind of not (he wants to be loved)
Also, Nico and Dionysus being buddies! Nico jokingly says he'll host a bacchanal if Dionysus excuses him from certain camp activities and that's how Nico and friends end up wearing togas around a campfire, all very hesitantly holding cups of wine they aren't actually going to drink. It is definitely not a bacchanal, it's just a bad toga party (barely) but Dionysus accepts it and decides Nico is a Good One.
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(Yes I did very badly make this stupid meme that somebody has definitely made a variation of before)
This is definitely not a complete list of headcanons but it's what I've got so far!
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Take this *slaps in your face*
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I'm deprived of good hc where Thalia and Percy act like siblings
ANON HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS LITERALLY WRITING THIS POST?!?! I already made this post talking about how they were basically siblings forever ago, but your witchcraft sensed I wanted HCs, didn’t it? Honestly, they have the most chaotic friendship ever and despite not technically being siblings they have major siblings vibes. They’re very similar and just... you can tell they have the Cain instinct when it comes to the other lol. Anywho, I wrote a lot of them. Here ya go:
- For starters, they LOVE saving one another. It’s slightly a competitive thing, but mainly they just like annoying the other one. For example:
Thalia: Percy you’re injured
Percy: I just need some water and I’ll be good-
Thalia: I’m going to have to carry you to the ocean
Percy: ...we... are not... near the ocean? So no? Don’t do that? 
Thalia: you’re dying and we’re running low on options
Percy: It’s a scratch on my arm. Honestly, ambrosia would - PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW-
Thalia: you’re delirious. I’ll get you to safety.
Percy: this is the last time I agree to play uno with you
vs.
Percy: THALIA I’M COMING!
Thalia: Don’t you dare...
Percy: Aha! Deflected that arrow of death. You’re welcome.
Thalia: No
Percy: You should thank me (:
Thalia: No
Percy: You would have died without me
Thalia: I would have rather died
Percy: Bummer. No take backs though
- Experimental power buddies. They just hang out and go “do you think I could make the sky green?” And Percy is like “let’s try it. Then we can see if I can make ramen without turning on the stove-”
- They may not be blood siblings, but the Cain instinct is so ridiculously strong in these two. Like, Thalia might not even announce her presence and Percy is just like “She’s here and I have to punch her in the throat”
- Thalia talked Percy into getting his ears pierced. He’s a big fan of them and says it was the only smart thing Thalia talked him into.
- Because Beryl and Gabe were abusive alcoholics, Thalia and Percy both have a pact never to drink. This means when they’re older (or, ya know, Percy’s older) they always keep each other company if everyone else wants to drink. 
- Percy bullies Thalia into learning skateboarding and they get ridiculously into who can do cooler moves. Percy has more experience, but Thalia can pull off some pretty dangerous stunts bc of her blessing/Zeus-air powers, so it becomes pretty epic to see who can outdo the other.
- Thalia is Percy’s informant for Annabeth blackmail. She has ALL the embarrassing little Annabeth stories and will give them to Percy... for a price, of course.
- At one point, everyone needs to meet for something. Idk maybe a big Winter Solstice or some demigod meeting where both camps and the hunters need to be present. Everyone asks where Thalia and Percy are and Jason is just like “oh, Thalia said she was going to pick Percy up” and Annabeth looks so devastated. Jason is confused until she says “You haven’t seen them together yet, have you?” He says no. Annabeth comes back with. “Have you ever seen what happens if you set a gas station on fire?” And right then Percy and Thalia just fall through the ceiling.
- Thalia gives Percy the shovel talk once a week. She’ll IM him and just be like “hi, I’m in the middle of a hunt, but just so you know if you ever hurt Annabeth-”
- Thalia has a bunch of clothes at Sally’s apartment for when she visits and when she brings hunters with her on these visits. Sally adores Thalia (as we know from when she showed Thalia all those baby pictures of Percy lol) and mothers her whenever she can. Thalia always tells Percy she’s going to steal his mom and he immediately goes to square up every single time.
- omg and Paul. He’s really bothered that Thalia never finished high school before joining the hunt so whenever she visits he tries to sneak in lessons like “Oh? You haven’t read Macbeth? Crazy, I just so happen to have a copy right here in ancient Greek... next time you visit we’ll have to discuss it (:”
- Percy was helping out on a hunt when he remembered he had a project due the next day, so after they finished Thalia legit ordered everyone to gather around and help. Paul came home to find Percy arguing with Phoebe over his climate change paper. Then, another hour later, Artemis comes over to figure out where her hunters went and finds this random mortal man on the phone with Goode’s science teacher trying to help them all learn this. In the end, Artemis gives them all the climate change lecture given that’s a lot of her domain. Percy is kinda devastated tho bc after they leave he calls up Thalia like “I can’t put the Goddess of the Hunt as an academic source-”
- I find it funny to think that they have a list of “Annabeth topics” they go over together in a secret attempt to outwit her in an area. Like, they literally study together so that one day Annabeth will bring up a topic and they will surprise her by knowing more about it. They also do this in attempt to keep up with her in certain conversations, like when she wants to talk about architecture or whatever. Yes, Paul is sometimes involved in this too.
- They complain about Big Three problems. This includes multiple calls to one another about why there are so damn many naked statues/paintings of their dads on the internet and in Europe. Also, why are they related to the most random things/people?
- They are good at comforting one another. Since they are both in leadership positions and a bit more...uh...reserved with letting people know their emotions, they try not show how close to the breaking point they are. So sometimes they just meet up on the DL to talk shit out.
Percy: Did you know Nico talks to Mr. D about this stuff?
Thalia: Mr. D? Really? I guess he would be the professional given he’s the god of sanity and all...
Percy: yeah...
Thalia: yeah....
Percy: lol imagine going to a professional
Thalia: ha! As if I can’t just cry in front of you for an hour and say ‘same’ when you cry in front of me for an hour.
Percy: Right?!
- One of their biggest fights ever lasted about a month and it was super emotional. Percy met Nemesis for the first time, but didn’t know at first bc she did that shapeshift-into-who-you-want-revenge-against thing. For a brief second, he saw Thalia before it changed into someone else. He was confused and commented on it. Thalia was actually only a few feet away and was SUPER pissed/hurt. Turns out, Percy secretly resented the fact she left him with the prophecy. It took him awhile to admit it tho. Eventually, they talked it out. Obviously Percy didn’t actually want revenge on her, but Thalia was still pretty upset.
- Ride or die but also super petty. For example...
Percy: can you grab that shield for me?
Thalia: if you asked me to fight my father for you... I would. If you asked me to turn against the gods for you... I would. If you asked me to hold the sky for you... I would.
Percy: and I for you as well
Thalia: but I will not grab that shield for you
Percy: I expected nothing less
- They actually really care about the other’s approval. Percy won’t admit it, but he does look up to Thalia and values her opinion. Thalia might admit it if under severe duress. Maybe. Actually, no. They both will take it to their graves.
- Traditionally, the hunt is supposed to be a full time thing - and for Thalia it mostly is! However, Percy does appeal to Artemis to get Thalia time off a lot. He almost gets blown up several times, but eventually Artemis agrees bc she knows Thalia was kind of pigeonholed into her role and also feels bad that the gods broke literally all their promises to Percy almost immediately. She also tells Thalia if she ever wanted to leave the hunt bc of this that she could without consequence now that the prophecy is over.
- Thalia once went to one of Percy’s swim meets and just mercilessly bullied him in front of all his teammates. The second she saw someone else try it she decked them.
- Chiron hates it when the hunters visits bc he legit doesn’t like it when Thalia and Percy are together. They wreak too much havoc. At one point he goes to Zeus and Poseidon like “can you tell your kids to stay away from one another? Please?”
- Sometimes Thalia’s big sister instinct kicks in and she pinches Percy’s cheek or something to annoy him and he’s like “whatever” but then one time she accidentally called him Jason and he didn’t speak to her for like a week. Jason was just in the background like “IF ANYONE SHOULD BE OFFENDED ITS ME”
- Percy was once annoyed that people followed Thalia’s lead so easily. Turns out, he gets annoyed when people question her leadership too. Someone tried to say she shouldn’t have been immediately promoted to lieutenant and this boy roasted them SO hard that they cried.
- Percy can and will kill anyone who upsets Thalia. This annoys Thalia greatly bc she can kill them herself. What ends up happening is they both try to see who can kill them faster.  
- Thalia is secretly blonde and dyes her hair black to fit her punk aesthetic. Percy finds this out and loses his goddamn mind. However, he keeps the secret and also helps her dye it. They often go through various colors. Sometimes Percy dyes his hair too so they match.
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I’m here to humbly ask for more big three kids headcanons 🙇‍♀️ and maybe some of their parents reacting to their antics
Pd: thanks for existing
Omg thank YOU for existing and for this ask. Poor Hades, Zeus, and Poseidon. They don't even know the chaos their three children will create for them.
Here are the OG Big Three Kid HCs and the ones with just Thalia and Percy.
- I don’t think there’s enough content out there about the beginning of Thalia and Percy’s relationship. In TTC their dynamic is already established, but I’m sure both at the beginning were just like “okay, I love Annabeth and Annabeth loves this person, so we have to try and get along” and then you get just get Percy and Thalia staring at one another for ten minutes trying to break the ice.
Percy, after ten more minutes of silence: Annabeth said I reminded her of you.
Thalia: Oh, yeah? We must have stuff in common then.
Percy: We both have black hair.
Thalia: We’re both Big Three kids.
Percy: Uh huh. Um... do you... like blue?
Thalia: It’s okay. Do you like black?
Percy: It’s okay.
*silence*
Thalia: Should we just lie and tell Annabeth we’ve bonded?
Percy: Oh, thank gods. I thought you would never ask
- This awkwardness continues. However, Chiron obviously had to go to Zeus and explain what had happened and that Percy, Annabeth, and Clarisse not only got the golden fleece and cleared Chiron’s name, but somehow brought Thalia back to life. Zeus was a little shook and was torn between just ignoring this or saying hello to his daughter. He decides they didn't have to talk, but he would just spy a little but and see how she was doing. He asks Iris to form one-way IM and gets a brief look into Thalia and Percy actually bonding for the first time:
Thalia: are you fucking insane?! You want to tell me Led Zepplin is better than Green Day?!
Percy: I’m not saying they’re bad-
Thalia: BUT ARE THEY BETTER?!
Percy: NO! GREEN DAY IS NOT BETTER! WANT TO KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT?! BECAUSE I HAVE EARS! BECAUSE I HAVE TASTE! BECAUSE I DON’T DRESS LIKE A MIDDLE SCHOOLER WHO JUST DISCOVERED EYELINER FOR THE FIRST TIME!
Thalia: YOU ARE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL YOU EVIL LITTLE-
Percy: IM GRADUATING THIS YEAR
- Zeus decided he didn’t need to say hi after all. It also gave him so good insight as to how Percy and Thalia were going to get along in the future.
- And he was correct. Chiron complains to Poseidon and Zeus constantly. He says they don't know their own strength, their own powers, they go crazy around the other, etc. Please just separate them at the very least. However, much to Chiron’s dismay, both gods are just like “this is your job isn’t it? So sad. What are we supposed to do about it?”
- But then they kind of started arguing too. A sort of “Well, obviously Perseus is probably in the wrong here because my daughter wouldn’t use her powers like that unprovoked” with Poseidon loudly yelling “Oh, sure, because you have NEVER used your powers unprovoked!” and after arguing for like a week with absolutely no clue as to what Thalia and Percy were actually fighting about they send Hermes to get the details.
Zeus: So? Who was right?
Hermes: Um...
Poseidon: It’s okay. You can let us know who you agree with.
Zeus: There will be no consequences... for the right answer.
Hermes: So, right, um, they don’t remember?
Poseidon: ...I’m sorry, what?
Hermes: They don’t remember what they were arguing about. I came down and they were trying to see who could try and climb a tree faster. I asked them what their argument had been about and neither had any idea and just kept trying to climb the tree.
Zeus: But... they almost burned the camp down?
Hermes: Yeah.
Poseidon: And yet...?
Hermes: Yeah.
Zeus: This is distressing.
- Thalia and Percy have a little mantra in the beginning of their friendship to keep from killing each other. It goes like this:
Percy: If you're anything like Zeus -
Thalia: And you're anything like Poseidon -
Percy: Then we’re practically siblings who rule the world together and if they can have a conversation without blowing anything up
Thalia: Then we definitely can bc we’re way more mature
Percy: Exactly
Zeus & Poseidon, who heard their names being used: Um...?
- Hades is just kind of in the background like ‘yeah lol. Stupid kids. My children would never-’
- Nico di Angelo enters the chat.
- When Nico first says ‘yeah, I’m hanging out with Thalia and Percy later because they want us to be this weird trio thing’ this poor god knows EXACTLY what is about to happen and goes straight up to Olympus and calls Poseidon there as well to be like “Your damn kids BETTER not drag him into their nonsense”
Zeus: You dare to accuse my daughter of any sort of nonsense when she is the leader of Artemis’ hunt? You dare question her priorities? Her focus? Of MY daughter?
Poseidon: I’m sure they’re fine, Hades. Let’s check and see what they are doing now.
Hades: Your children are probably making my son miserable is what’s happening. Either that or getting him in trouble or-
*Cut to an Iris Message popping up to where Thalia, Percy, and Nico are all on the floor counting chocolate chips*
Nico: Why does the recipe need exactly 476?
Percy: I’m not sure, but my mom says if it isn’t right then the oven might blow up.
Thalia: Fuck. I think I messed up. We might need to starts again.
Percy: ...you’re fired.
Thalia: Wait. No-
Nico: FIRED!
Thalia: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! DAMN YOU BOTH!
Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades: ....
Poseidon: Yeah, this is generally what it’s like.
Hades: My poor, poor child... They’re going to make him so stupid...
Zeus: And you wonder why it took us so long to get you a throne here.
- I feel like they are just constantly taking complaints. Artemis pops up to say the three of them did something stupid, Chiron is always there pointing out that this is the sort of chaos that banned their children in the first place, you have even Lupa pops up a few times to say they are all separately welcomed to Camp Jupiter... but never welcomed together.
- Eventually Zeus is like “You know what?! Let’s just kill two of them. That will solve it!” and naturally this leads to a big argument with Hades and Poseidon. Word gets down to Percy, Nico, and Thalia who also get pissed off at this idea and decide the solution is to just hide out until things blow over.
Hermes: so... how long are you three camping out here?
Thalia: Until they stop threatening to kill two of us
Hermes: maybe you three can promise to stop causing all these problems and they’ll agree to let all of you live (:
Percy: But they’ll figure out we’re lying eventually, right???
Hermes: Maybe actually stop causing all these problems then...?
Nico: That would require Thalia and Percy to be reasonable, which is just unrealistic
Thalia: I vote we let them kill Nico
Percy: Seconded
Hermes: The fact any of you saved the world is appalling
- One might think this could lead to WWIII with The Big Three feuding again, but honestly it is kind of thwarted by none of their kids fighting against one another. Eventually they go up to Olympus and poke their heads in like “hey... you guys done? Because we have things to do” and the gods kind of look down at these three dorks and jusr decide right then and there that it isn’t worth it lol.
- They also send each other postcards. Like, Thalia will be on a hunt somewhere and send Nico and Percy a postcard or Nico might be shadow traveling and decides to find postcards to send them. Hermes is endlessly amused/exasperated by it. Percy sarcastically sends them NYC postcards consistently bc he complains he never goes anywhere (NOT quest related. By gods do not send him on another quest and say it’s for travel)
- A foolish complaint. Thalia and Nico decide the appropriate response is to kidnap Percy and take him places. Well, Thalia decides this is appropriate and bothers Nico into going along with it.
- Though one time they all went to Italy together! This was mainly for Nico to explore the places he grew up and see what has/hasn’t changed. Will was there too bc originally this was supposed to be a date, but Thalia and Percy kind of crashed it.
- I said this before, but I just love the idea that the three of them get together and mock their dads. It’s like a bashing session and Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon HATE it. The worst part is that they can’t really do much about it bc they only talk shit on their own dads so they can’t knock the other two for disrespecting them (though Zeus would seriously consider killing Thalia if it weren't for Artemis constantly intervening on her behalf). Also, they made it like an official meeting thing, which they all hate even more.
Thalia: Order! Order! We’re in session. Nico, Percy. Have you given the proper offerings to the the Big Three? Good. We have all prayed and given them as much respect as possible? Good, good. Okay, on our agenda today is... marriage. Mr. di Angelo, you have the floor.
Nico: Thank you. So, I would like to start off by stating that while the end result of my father’s marriage was - according to them - satisfactory that it still started by Hades kidnapping Persephone. Does this make their marriage worse or better than marriages of the other two?
Percy: Worse than my father’s.
Thalia: Better than my father’s.
Nico: Thank you, counsel. I give the rest of my time for any issues Mr. Jackson would like to bring to the table.
Percy, slamming his hands down: I think my dad fucked his grandma-
Thalia: I’m gonna go ahead and give my time to Percy. This might take awhile.
Hades to Zeus and Poseidon: How much do we even really love them?
Zeus: Honestly, I’m fine killing all of them at this point.
Poseidon: ...normally, I would say no, but....I’m really on the fence at this particular moment....
- When Percy goes to college they all crash in his dorm fairly often (even though Lupa technically banned this) and Percy’s roommate just... hates them.
- Oh, and Percy brings Nico and Thalia to his lectures. Well, he forces them, but whatever. Nico actually kind of likes it depending on the topic. He pretends to be annoyed, but Will always messages Percy later like ‘my boyfriend is infodumping on me bc of you’ and so the gig is up.
- Thalia hates Percy’s lectures, but does end up taking a few classes on the side with Artemis’ permission because there is a teeny tiny part of her that feels like she’s missing out and hey! If she’s immortal she has time to try lots of different things.
- On one particular occasion, they were all working on one of Percy’s assignment together and couldn’t figure it out. It was on the Trojan war (Greek and Roman mythology is required to take for all NRU students) and their solution was deadass to just go up to the gods and ask them.
- Zeus was PISSED. The rest of them (who were involved in the war) were eager to talk about it though (which probably saved Nico, Thalia, and Percy from being blasted). Nico got really upset with Apollo over getting Patroclus killed and Percy got sidetracked from the assignment and started asking what was up with all the human sacrifices.
- They tend to spend holidays with one another and their SOs. It’s either Christmas at Percy’s place, Easter at Annabeth’s, etc... one time they all went to the Underworld for Halloween and just talked to ghosts all night. Hades wasn’t really pleased, but also this had never happened before so he was trying to figure out how to react.
- When they’re fighting they use.... very historically based insults.
Percy: OH WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO THALIA?! ARE YOU GOING TO FIND JASON?!
Thalia: MAYBE I AM!
Nico: WHY DON’T YOU GO OFF AND MARRY HIM?! IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY, RIGHT?!
Thalia: OH WHY DON’T YOU GO KIDNAP YOUR BOYFRIEND, YOU DISASTER!
Nico: What are you laughing at Jackson? How about you and Annabeth go try to get Camp Half-Blood renamed after you? Let’s see how that goes-
Percy: B I T C H-
- Overall, those three REALLY push the limits with their dads, but Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades also kind of let it slide bc when those three are together they really do remind them of the best parts about their brothers and it can make them a *smidge* soft.
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I see your Thalia and Percy friendship posts and raise you: Thalia, Percy and Nico are literal fucking besties.
This is gonna be a long one, kids. Buckle up. I’ve had to give some thought on how to ensure their friendship based on everything that’s happened in canon and I think I got it.
Okay, imagine this: Thalia and Percy are hanging out in TTC and are having a lighthearted heart-to-heart. Towards the end of the conversation it goes...
Percy: You think all demigods are this much of a mess or is it a Big Three thing?
Thalia: Definitely a Big Three thing
Percy: We need one more to complete the trio of disaster
Thalia: Like the third member of our band. What would that even look like? I mean, they would need dark hair to join, obviously. That’s a requirement.
Percy: Of course. The eyes would have to be brown or black considering you and I took the blue and green ones.
Thalia: Uh huh. And aesthetic-wise I have the punk covered and you have the skateboarding look... preppy maybe? Ew. No. If we find a preppy Big Three kid then we condemn them.
Percy: Emo? Goth?
Thalia: OH MY GODS! Give me an emo or goth child of Hades to complete our trio PLEASE!
Bianca: Hey guys, what’s up?
Percy: Hey, nothing much. We’re just talking.
Bianca: Okay, bye (:
Thalia: Bye (:
Thalia: ANYWAYS! Percy, we have to find one-
Later on, they forget about the conversation until a few years down the road when Thalia suddenly IMs Percy at like 3 in the morning.
Thalia: Bianca’s little brother
Percy: What? Nico? Is he in a jar again?
Thalia: He’s emo now, right?
Percy: Uh, he might just be depressed-
Thalia: HE IS EMO NOW, PERSEUS! WE NEED HIM!
Percy: I swear on to any god that is listening that I will hunt you down and break your nose. Thalia, he doesn’t like us. You’re a hunter and I... well, don’t worry about why he doesn’t like me.
Thalia: Uh huh and normally that would be fine, but we need him
Percy: We cannot force him to be friends with us
Thalia: Is that a challenge?
Percy: No
Thalia: Challenge accepted, jackass
Percy: Just let me go back to sleep
Thus begins Thalia and Percy’s quest to integrate Nico into the group. Percy is actually friends with Nico so he takes the lead and is kinda nervous bc they’ve had a on-and-off rocky relationship in the past. Thalia hasn’t really interacted with Nico all that much yet so she only knows the bare minimum. Percy decides the best route is being honest upfront but he doesn’t know how to say “I need you to be super close friends with Thalia and move past any residual awkwardness with me in order to fulfill a lifelong dream of having a disaster Big Three trio.”
He tries to suggest Hazel instead, but Thalia says she isn’t emo enough to even consider. So Percy bites the bullet and has this conversation:
Percy: I want to do this ethically
Nico: ...I... are you talking to me? That’s not how you start a conversation.
Percy: We’re still friends, right?
Nico: Sure?
Percy: How do you feel about Thalia?
Nico: Um, neutral, I guess? She isn’t my favorite given she leads the hunt and is the daughter of the guy who murdered my mother.
Percy: Uhh understandable. Outside of that, would you be opposed to being her friend?
Nico: What the actual fuck is happening? I guess not? She’s Jason’s sister, right? I like Jason.
Percy: Yes! Yes, exactly! He - oh my gods. Jason is the preppy one.
Nico: What?
Percy: I - THALIA! THALIA! JASON IS THE PREPPY ONE-
Nico: Maybe I wasn’t even embarrassed to be gay. Maybe I was just embarrassed that I liked you.
So, Nico listens to this proposition and is just like “that is the dumbest shit have I ever heard, but for the sake of curiosity on what you two even do together I’m going to agree to this on a trial basis” and thus begins the actual friendship.
Yeah. Nico gets suckered in real fast. Part of it is that he realizes Thalia is actually really cool and willing to work on stuff with him. He’s uncomfortable with the hunters? Well, Thalia is the lieutenant and can make changes in some areas. What bothers him? More visiting time with mortal families? Done. You have to have trained for at least three years to go a quest? Done. Listen, the hating men thing only applies to some of the older ones and we’re working on that. Maybe if you visit more they’ll be more comfortable around boys. Nico slowly warms to them. Never completely tho. Thalia and Reyna are the only hunters he’s ever completely cool with.
Percy on the other hand... bless him. He’s trying so hard to figure out how to make sure Nico’s comfortable.
Annabeth: why are you googling “how to be friends with your ex”? Are we breaking up?
Percy: no, but they don’t have a wikihow article for “how to make sure your ‘friend who had a childhood crush on you for years without you noticing and was forced to admit it after a traumatic outing in which he had to pretend to hate you bc you couldn’t save his sister but actually hated you bc of the feelings he held contempt for due to being raised in the 1930s and also because the 2000s can suck too’ not feel uncomfortable with your friendship” so I had to improvise.
Annabeth: maybe try yahoo
This ends up being Thalia and Nico’s biggest bonding moment at first bc Nico decides he wants to fuck with Percy once he notices him being awkward. It was only fair, right?
Nico: Percy! Don’t do that!
Percy: Do what?
Thalia: Percy, what the Hades? Nico’s gay. What’s wrong with you?
Percy: I’m sorry! What am I doing?!?
Nico: I can’t believe this
Percy: NO I’M SORRY! HOW DO I STOP?!
Thalia: Honestly the audacity is beyond me
Percy: I’m literally about to cry. Just tell me what I’m doing wrong.
Nico: you seriously don’t know? Disgusting behavior. Annabeth is okay with this?
Percy: I don’t KNOW, I’m sorry!
Thalia: you should know better than to wear a shirt that brings out your eyes like that
Percy: ...
Nico: (:
Thalia: (:
Percy: I swear I’m gonna kick both of your asses. Don’t stress me out like that ever again. I did not live this long to be played like this-
Nico: Belligerently homophobic
Percy: STOP
Will is Nico’s self-control. Thalia and Percy are the opposite of that. They try to outdo each other constantly. Thalia can fly? No big deal. Percy can use water to raise himself up into the sky. Nico decides he’s just gonna shadow travel into the sky at night bc technically “the world is one big shadow” at that point. It goes as well as you might think.
They all take turns holding the brain cells of the group. Usually it depends on the area of foolishness.There are times where none of them have braincells tho. This mainly happens when they’re bored and want to try and combine powers to play games. Tag is a big one. Nico shadow travels to try and get away while Thalia uses lightning to keep there from being shadows. If Percy touches one of them with water then he wins.
Thalia and Nico bother Percy/Annabeth on dates and Thalia and Percy bother Nico/Will on dates. It’s become a very serious game to try and crash the others romantic evenings.
Nico and Thalia are nervous around water bc Zeus and Hades are always very clear for other demigods to stay out of their domains. Percy is determined to teach them both how to properly swim. It is chaotic and they all almost die, but DAMNIT Percy taught them freestyle and nobody can take that from him.
Also, Nico is just like “idk guys. Nobody in ancient Greece really did that much of the naked stuff of my dad like they did for Poseidon and Zeus. Sucks for you guys tho.” and Thalia is sitting there like “Oh... oh no, you poor thing. Have you searched your dad on the internet in modern time? He’s either a loud dude with blue-fire hair or a sex symbol. Absolutely no in between.”
Ooh I had that one post about them trying to pin the ‘royalty teasing’ that fits well here.
They all fight over custody with Mrs. O’Leary. It gets emotional. Thalia, as a hunter if Artemis, has a natural link with animals, so she claims that she’s her dog. Nico says she’s not even technically an animal, but a hellhound which is his father’s domain, meaning she is HIS dog. Percy gets very upset bc Daedalus gave her to HIM and YOU CAN’T TAKE MY DOG FROM ME-
Disney movie marathons. That’s it. That’s all you need to know.
Percy claims he’s the oldest. Which, well, technically he is? Only Thalia and Nico aren’t rolling with that. Thalia’s age may have slowed down as a tree, and just bc she biologically stopped aging doesn’t mean those years shouldn’t count. According her birth year she is the oldest. Nico says according to HIS birth year he’s the oldest. They can’t decide who the oldest is officially, but both Thalia and Nico voted that Percy is the youngest, which makes Percy super annoyed (“Neither of you have passed 16 years so I don’t want to hear it”)
Side Note: According to Annabeth, the order is Thalia, Percy, and then Nico, but only Thalia approves of that order.
Nico is determined to get Percy and Thalia to an actual therapist. Like, by gods he will do it.
Nico: It doesn’t have to be Mr. D. I will summon someone for you. There are lots of great therapists who are dead-
Thalia: Get me Freud and I’m in. I want to know wtf this ‘Penis Envy’ he’s talking about is.
Nico: You’re supposed to talk about your problems.
Thalia: My problem is that some random guy has a mighty high opinion of penises to think we all want one.
Percy: Freud’s theories have actually all been pretty much dismissed anyways. He doesn’t hold any real credibility in the psychology community.
Nico: ...how do you know that?
Thalia: NERD!
Percy: No! No, it was just something Annabeth said-
Nico: Nerd
Percy: NO-
Thalia: I can’t believe you’re a nerd
Percy, holding back tears: This is why I need therapy
Nico: Literally half your life is a reason for therapy and yet you choose this moment?
One year they all decide to dress up for Halloween. Thalia turns up as an ear of corn, Nico shows up as guinea pig, and Percy shows up as a pine tree. They all collectively announce they have dressed up as each other.
Another Halloween comes by and they decide to dress up like their dads and impersonate them, which was real fun until Hermes popped up and told them that Zeus was getting offended.
Hunters of Artemis vs. CHB Capture the Flag is really just Nico and Percy trying to beat the shit out of Thalia while she orders literally all of the hunters to forget the flag and instead attack Nico and Percy.
Nico is the sugar-friend of the group. He buys them shit all the time. When Percy fondly points out that Hades does the same thing to Nico he freaks out lol. Thalia immediately prays to Zeus like ‘you can try and buy my affection if you want. I would like the following-’
They get into an argument like.... three years later and Nico loudly proclaims his trial period is OVER and he will not be continuing on this stupid friendship. Percy and Thalia are so pissed off by this that they follow him around for a solid week saying that the trial period ended after the first year and he doesn’t get to not be friends with them. This goes on for weeks. At one point, Thalia threatens to get lawyers involved.
Side note: They all get into arguments A LOT. It is a constant thing, but it hardly ever affects their friendship. Usually they get pissed off for like a day and then the next time they see each other its fine. Common arguments include: the right way to eat tacos, who the best spice girl is, who has the coolest powers, stuff about the hunt, being called out on various things, whether water is wet, and between Percy/Annabeth and Nico/Will who is the cuter couple (and btw it was not Nico and Percy who had that last argument lol. I will leave you in confusion on that one).
Some of the hunters try to criticize Thalia for spending so much time with two boys... some of the hunters are going to have to deal with Percy and Nico roasting them for an hour. Artemis is too tired to stop it.
Nico and Thalia are both good friends with Annabeth, so Percy and Thalia decide they need to be good friends with Will too. It, uh, is an adventure. Will doesn’t know what’s happening, but he does fear for his life when two Big Three kids kidnap him for ‘bonding’ time. Nico has to come rescue him.
Thalia and Nico went to Percy’s graduation wearing “Graduate Squad” shirts with Percy’s face on them. They also brought some for Sally, Paul, and Annabeth who gladly wore them as Percy walked across the stage lol. Poseidon may have also showed up and made himself a matching shirt. Thalia and Nico lost their minds over it.
Every year for Thalia’s birthday, Nico and Percy take her to abandoned buildings so she can just smash the shit out of it. It is a lot of fun for them to just demolish a house together and sometimes it is the only reason Thalia still celebrates her birthday at all.
Thalia and Percy are both groomspeople for Nico’s wedding and they take this VERY seriously. Reyna is technically the best woman, but she doesn’t have the plan anything bc Percy and Thalia are all over that shit. They also both cry when Nico gets married.
Bonus if you like bi-Percy...
Percy: soooo.... yeah. What do you think? Obviously, I love Annabeth and don’t want to break up with her, but I’m not really sure if that means I can’t like boys too?
Thalia: Nah, you can. Sounds like you do. Congrats. I will still slit your throat if you cheat on her with a guy tho.
Percy: You know I wouldn’t. And that’s... not a problem? Nico, that’s okay, right? The boy thing?
Nico: (: no! (: I’m happy you felt comfortable to share this with us (: I wouldn’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me this kind of thing over a silly crush forever ago (: and if you any questions I can always help out (:
Percy: Thanks, Nico! I have to go talk to Annabeth. See you guys later!
Thalia & Nico: Bye!
Nico:
Thalia:
Thalia: ...you want to let it out?
Nico: what
Nico: the
Nico: F U C K
Thalia: there, there. If it makes you feel better I was thinking... if I didn’t have my oath to Artemis then I would totally ask Reyna out-
Nico: shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut UP-
Meanwhile:
Jason: The Greeks have a big three trio. Want to make our own?
Hazel: Yes, but we don’t have a Neptune kid.
Jason: .... Frank is a descendant, right?
Hazel: Works for me
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Nico finding out his daughter is dating/has a crush on Grace and being half relieved because it does mean she probably won't join the hunters and half annoyed because Percy will never let him hear the end of it.
Percy: Huh, I guess having crushes on Jacksons is genetic, ay Nico?
Nico: I will kill you.
I couldn’t resist a little oneshot:
“You did this.”
Nico watched as Percy paused in flipping whatever was in the pan he was cooking in before looking at him blankly. He shrugged.
“I did. It’s stir fry. Want any?” He asked and Nico scowled. “Also, we talked about this. You can’t just shadow travel into my house. Use the front door, man,” he said, popping a slice of jalapeno in his mouth.
“Do you know about Bianca and Grace?” Nico asked impatiently. Percy raised an eyebrow. Dear gods. Nico tried not to look too annoyed as he sighed. “They’re dating, apparently,” he clarified. Percy’s expression cleared.
“Oh. That. Yeah, I heard,” he said with a yawn. “Annabeth owes me ten bucks over it,” he said with a snort. Nico felt his outrage rise.
“So you did plan this!”
“What are you talking about?” Percy asked, tossing his spatula to the side so he could face Nico fully. “If you want to yell at me, at least clarify why I’m being yelled at,” he said. Nico sneered in return.
“I’m yelling at you because your daughter is... is...” he waved his hand. “You did this!” He decided stubbornly. Percy stared.
“Do... you not like my daughter?” He finally asked. Nico groaned. Oh, not this. “I will have you know that Grace is wonderful when she isn't tired, hungry, thirsty, stressed, or otherwise inconvenienced,” he sniffed. “And the rest of that stuff is Annabeth’s fault,” he added wisely.
“You’re kidding.”
“Of course, I'm kidding,” Percy said with a roll of his eyes. “My kids are awesome. Do you not know that? You’ve babysat enough times to know that,” he said with an accusing note. Nico sighed. He wasn't even sure what he went into this conversation hoping to get anymore.
“You put this idea in her head,” Nico told him stubbornly. Percy glanced at him and then turned off the stove. “Remember when they pretended to be engaged when they were six? And the drama that followed when Bianca accidentally ate her engagement Ring Pop? Are we ready for the real thing? They argue too much as it is-”
“Nico.”
“What?”
“What is really bothering you right now?”
Nico paused. Then glared. He hadn't anticipated being called out. Quickly, he looked away.
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
“I didn't tell Grace to ask Bianca out. Though... Annabeth might have,” he added as an afterthought. “But only because the pining was unbearable to watch. Are you going to act like Bianca wasn't just as bad?” He asked. Nico’s mind flashed to loud country love songs playing from Bianca’s room alongside screams of frustration.
“...um, she coped.”
“Uh-huh, so what's the problem?” Percy asked him and a teasing smile hinted at his lips. “Is it because she broke the tradition of di Angelos not allowing Jacksons to be their types?” he asked. Nico rolled his eyes and sat in one of their stools by the counter. “Are you worried that they’re going to be a cuter couple than you and Will?” He asked with a wicked smirk. Nico sneered.
“First of all, we are not cute-”
“I’ve been to your house and seen the family pictures Will forced you into taking.”
“Not the point,” Nico flushed, unwilling to admit that hadn’t be Will’s idea. Then ran his hand through his hair. “I’m just worried,” he finally admitted. Percy leaned against the counter. “Bianca hasn’t really liked anyone before. Not like this. I’m worried if it doesn’t work out...” he trailed off. Understanding flittered over Percy’s face.
“She’ll run off to the hunt?” Percy asked and Nico glanced down at his hands. “Nico, she wouldn’t do that to you. She knows how you feel about it,” he said, voice going a little soft. “And even if by some wild twist of fate she did try - there is no way Reyna would let her join. She would get Thalia to turn her away,” he snorted. Nico considered. That might be true. Still, he didn’t trust Artemis to not try and swoop her up.
“I guess,” he said and then wrinkled his nose. “Also, I don’t want to be forced into family dinners with you.”
“Hurtful,” Percy said. “But now I feel less bad about mercilessly teasing you,” he said. Nico frowned. He hadn’t been- “So, like, does Bianca know that this crush is a genetic thing or no?” Ah. There it was. Nico groaned. “I am noticing a pattern in my family line with forbidden love,” Percy added thoughtfully. “My mom with Poseidon, me and Annabeth, now Grace and Bianca-”
“Forbidden is a strong word.”
“We all know the di Angelos and Jacksons are star-crossed lovers, Nico. It’s a tale as old as time.”
“Hilarious.”
“I wonder who Luke is going to fall in love with,” Percy said and pulled out some bowls. “Clarisse’s kid?” He frowned. Before Nico could give his opinion on that, the door slammed open revealing the aforementioned demons themselves.
“HI, DON’T TELL MY DADS I’M HERE!” Bianca said as she sprinted passed the kitchen. Then almost tripped as she tried to stop running. Slowly, she backed up so she could look at Nico. “Ah. Hello, there.”
“Hi, Bianca,” Nico greeted dryly. “Hello, Grace.”
“Hi!” Grace said and then held Bianca’s hand like a trophy. “I’m dating your daughter!”
“Yes, I heard.”
“It’s a nightmare!” Luke’s voice screeched somewhere in the distance. “Lee and I are holding a revolt!” He shouted. Nico shrugged. Fair enough by him. Percy started handing out stir fry.
“Dad, what are you doing here?” Bianca asked, entering the room a bit more (and dragging Grace along with her). Percy cackled as Nico fixed him with a cold glare.
“He was just telling me how excited he was to be joining in on family dinners,” Percy said and slid Nico some food. “We were also reminiscing on our own lost love,” he added with a dramatic sigh. Damn him.
“What?”
“Your what?”
“That never happened,” Nico said. Percy shrugged.
“It was unrequited. Apparently, I’m not Nico’s type,” he said and glanced at Grace with a low whisper. “You’re lucky you’re a natural blonde.”
Bianca gasped.
“I KNEW IT!”
“No! No, I’m not!” Grace shrieked as a hand went up to her currently pink-dyed hair. “That’s a family secret!” She said, ignoring Bianca beaming at the revelation. Nico only shook his head at Percy who gave him a small shrug.
“I know that’s why you chose Will over me.”
“All you do is annoy me, and for what?” He grumbled and turned to see Lee walking in. “What are you doing here? Why are both my children in a house that I don’t live in?” He asked, throwing up his hands. Lee paused.
“Hey, dad. Luke and I-”
“Please, for the love of gods tell me that isn’t a thing.”
“No. Ew. He’s like... four,” Lee said, looking alarmed.
“I’M FOURTEEN!” Luke’s voice shouted. Lee waved him away.
“Luke and I were going to ask if Aunt Hazel could take us to the stables later,” he said with a shake of his head. “Why are you here?”
“My dad and your dad apparently were in love,” Grace said before taking a bite of her food. “But then your dad ditched him for Will.”
“...that is not at all what happened.”
“That’s exactly what happened,” Percy said solemnly. “Don’t you go off and do the same thing to my daughter, Bianca,” he warned and turned to where Grace was grabbing a second bowl of food. “Save some of that for your mom. She’ll be home in twenty minutes. Oh, hey, Will!”
Nico whipped around. Sure enough, his husband walked in with a leather bag over his shoulder and phone in hand. Nico spluttered.
“Why are you here?!” He demanded. Will looked at him blankly.
“Percy texted. He said you wanted to have family dinner or something?” He asked. Nico turned back to find Percy waving his cell tauntingly. Nico was going to kick his ass. “Nico?”
“Yeah, whatever,” he relented and scooted over. “The stir fry is actually pretty good,” he admitted. Not that it was too surprising. Sally wouldn’t have raised Percy to be a poor chef. “Also, that is a thing,” he added with a nod towards Grace and Bianca talking at the other end of the counter. Will glanced over and snorted.
“I owe Annabeth ten bucks.”
“Just give it here,” Percy said. “She owes me ten bucks.”
“Do all of you just bet on our kids?” Nico asked. Will and Percy looked at him. Nico stared back. Oh, whatever. “Fifty that they get married.”
“I put a hundred on marriage and a summer wedding.”
“Cowards. I put two hundred on a marriage and spring wedding within five years.”
“For engagement, sure. Actual marriage? I say between five and ten.”
“Done.”
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Take this *slaps in your face*
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