andromedous

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"can men be lesbians?" bestie in 100 countries women can't be lesbians is this really the most pressing issue rn

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is mi >:3

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[andromedous]

sorry i covered your neck in dark hickeys and clamped down hard on your throat like limp prey while i was giving you a handjob. you whimpered a little too soft and i blacked out and believed myself to be a feral dog in possession of an entire rotisserie chicken

[andromedous]

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

[andromedous]

“magic isnt real” — plants just grow out of the ground. for free. everywhere.

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[andromedous]

we should hype up bottom surgery more i think. both twitter transphobes and chronically online trans people really like to be disgusted at phalloplasty, vaginoplasty, ext. and i really think we should treat them as cool and sexy and neutral like top surgery scars or whatever

[andromedous]

“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.

[andromedous]

i am an unwavering prison abolitonist in the complete sense. yes even for that. incarceration solves absolutely nothing.

[andromedous]

y'know how in some areas like south asia, the caribbean, and so on, feral dogs are a serious pest issue, and some people kill them, eat them, etc? and yknow how that fact absolutely horrifies people in countries like the US? i wonder how many of those dog defenders fucking hate pigeons.

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love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

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Ummmm sometimes you dread the weight of your life and other times it is an early morning in april and there are 5 species of birds singing and also the sun is shining through the baby leaves. Btw

[andromedous]

I’m not exaggerating when I say this post changed my life. Seeing this as a terrified self hating 17 year old was like finding a fresh water lake in the middle of the Sahara.

[andromedous]

i went into costco for the first time ever yesterday. i dont think ive ever been in a store that made me feel more like i was constantly in the way and everyone wanted to kill me