andthisisthething - Tumblr blog

[andthisisthething]

Whether you are disabled/chronically ill or not. You are NOT going to consider getting something to help you that you don’t need. Get that kitchen aid. Get that mobility aid. Get. It.

Still not sold? Let me ask you this: WHY would you consider something to help you, if you didn’t need it? Even if it’s for a short period? You wouldn’t. If you answered “laziness” to that. Consider this: Laziness is a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT. Why? So that you will do less of the things you enjoy and work more.

Even if it’s just a soap dispenser with a sensor. Do. It. There is a reason! Even if you have not worked it out yet!

[andthisisthething]

are people actually....comfortable when they sleep? I just rotate like a rotisserie chicken until I get to the position I can ignore pain in the most

[andthisisthething]

Words of advice from my chronically ill mother:

Part of taking care of your body is not having shame about it. If you're spending all your energy being guilty then you're not giving your body the rest that it needs to recover

[andthisisthething]

"It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done." I chant, through gritted teeth, trying to craft something I could do perfectly in my sleep before my disability

[andthisisthething]

tbh i think that i literally dont care if people use mobility aids for any reason. mild pain, slight mobility issues, or anything else that's not considered severe is still a valid reason to use an aid. i don't care if someone knows or doesn't know what's causing them issues. i don't care if someone only needs an aid some of the time. i literally Do Not Give A Shit

in fact i think more people should be using aids. there are a ton of options that can help with a wide range of issues, and a lot of people choose to deal with their issues rather than just getting an aid. plus more people using mobility aids means more normalization of mobility aids, which is always good

[andthisisthething]

One of the best things I've ever learned is that a meal doesn't have to consist of "matching" foods. Today for lunch I had a spoonful of peanut butter, an orange, and a bowl of cereal with soy milk. I ate the first two while in the kitchen prepping my cereal and coffee, and then I finished the meal in my bedroom. And that's okay. Whatever keeps me eating. Whatever it takes to keep putting nutrition in my body. Your food doesn't have to match. It's okay to eat bits of your meal before you've actually sat down with it. Whatever works.

[andthisisthething]

One of the weirdest things about having chronic pain is like...not fully realizing how much pain you're in.

Like I've felt off all morning but it wasn't until the like third time I laid down to try to take a nap that I realized I was having a ton of joint pain.

Like what part of my brain tuned it out to that degree that I thought I was just...grumpy? Because that's truly wild.

[andthisisthething]

Disabled people will literally display the most concerning symptoms you’ve ever seen and then just be like nah it’s fine I’m good now that happens sometimes. anyways you wanna get tacos?

it’s me I’m disabled people

[andthisisthething]

it's okay if your body isn't like others'. there's nothing wrong with you, or your body. you're not broken or insignificant. not all bodies are the same, and that's okay. that's good. you're part of nature's variance - and just look how beautiful nature is.

[andthisisthething]

What people don’t understand is that I could probably maybe push myself to do that thing, and may have done so in the past. But the effects of doing that thing can and likely will have consequences for days.

I’m not lazy, I’m just trying to control my chronic illness.

[andthisisthething]

this shouldn’t have to be said but if someone who struggles with cognitive issues due to things such as fibro fog, autism or adhd etc has difficulty speaking or getting their point across, do not point it out. im talking about stuttering, misremembering words and definitions, using the wrong words in place of other ones, mixing up words or merging them together. you are allowed to help us find the right word but wait for us to ask first and give us a chance to find it ourselves. blurting out random words causes a lot more confusion for us and we often end up losing our train of thought.

also, in a similar vein, we may pause to think about what we’re going to say next, and it’s important that you not interrupt. for me, my train of thought is already on the verge of derailing. if i stop talking mid-sentence, give me a second to find my words and sort out my jumbled mess of a brain. don’t start speaking like we’ve finished our sentence and please don’t just abandon the conversation. it’s very frustrating, especially when you make jokes or tease us for forgetting words or misspeaking and it makes it much harder for us to get to our point. and tbh it’s embarrassing and it sucks because our brains aren’t doing what we want or need them to do and we don’t need a reminder every time it happens.

like the jokes might seem harmless or lighthearted but it hurts nonetheless because we are constantly in a struggle against our own brains. it seems like it should be such an obvious thing, not to tease or make fun of someone with cognitive issues, but so many people do it, including some of you who don’t think you do— particularly if you don’t think the reason behind it is a disability. it’s not the same as joking about your friend making a typo in the group chat. those are minor slip-ups and they happen to everyone. for a lot of us, they’re constant. we’re almost always trying to get our brains to work with us rather than against us and pointing it out only makes it that much harder to concentrate on actually articulating our thoughts instead of focusing purely on avoiding misspeaking so you won’t point it out again. obviously this will vary from person to person, not everyone with these symptoms feels the same way i do, but i think it’s a good rule of thumb to just. not interrupt and/or draw unnecessary/unwanted attention to our speech problems. i don’t think it’s too much to ask.

[andthisisthething]

[andthisisthething]

I need some of you to stop thinking that being visibly disabled comes with some kind of inherent privilege. I need some of you to stop thinking people are less ableist to us because they can easily tell we’re disabled. I need some of you to stop using us as a prop in your discussions about other disabilities, saying shit like “You’d never say or do X to a visibly disabled person so why-.”

I need some of you to stop telling physically disabled people that they’re the most privileged in disabled spaces. I need some of you to stop coming into discussions specifically about physical disabilities and the ableism directed towards physically disabled people and then claiming we’re excluding you because you’re not currently being centered. 

We are all disabled, all part of the same community. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be ableist towards other disabled people and I’m seeing a lot of you do it and it’s exhausting. So, take a minute, step back and think about it and stop. 

[andthisisthething]

“I don’t think I’m disabled enough to use this mobility aid”

Ok so what if that’s true?

If you have a health condition that impacts your ability to function in one or more life areas, you’re disabled. If you’re disabled, you need help to live your best life.

Let’s say you choose a cane as a mobility aid, because you need help. If the cane doesn’t end up helping, then you don’t need to use it!

And so what if the cane only helps a little bit? It still helps and you deserve that little bit of help.

And so what if it only helps on some days? Dynamic disabilities are real and you don’t have to use the cane on the days you don’t feel like you need it.

And so what if the cane isn’t really helping you right now, but it’s helping you prevent injury or degeneration or fatigue? Bestie, that’s still HELP. I’d much rather you be less disabled and not rely on your mobility aid, than you damage yourself until you feel like you’ve earned it.

And so what if you don’t feel like the cane is really helping your disability directly, but it’s still useful in signaling to others that you’re disabled? That’s helpful and you deserve that.

If you’re disabled, you don’t need to be “disabled enough” for a mobility aid. If you’re disabled, you don’t need to rely and depend on your mobility aid in order to use it. If it helps mitigate you disability, fucking use the mobility aid.

[andthisisthething]

This might be a too hot of a take for the internet, but I'll say it anyway:

You don't have to know everything about everything to be a good ally to someone. Just now I saw a post that was like: "you call yourself an ally of minority x but you don't even know about symtom y and z" and I just-

The important thing is to listen and try to understand or at least accommodate when you meet people, when you plan events etc. If you have a new disabled friend who, for instance, has a specific diagnosis, you can look it up online. But the most important thing is to listen when that friend speaks. If you meet a stranger who acts strange, don't judge them if they act odd, say something you don't really understand or do something unexpected. Maybe it's a symptom - it's ok if you don't immediately recognize it for what it is. If you walk into these situations with a neutral mindset and you're open to listen and learn, you don't already need to know everything to be a good ally.

We're all learning and growing. You don't have to be an expert on every minority and their struggles to be a good and supportive person to those who need it

[andthisisthething]

"Abolish gender!"

NO.

liberate gender

Free gender from the confines of the patriarchy and give it to everyone in whatever ways they want it.

[andthisisthething]

This might be an unpopular opinion but if you’re mean to someone for being awkward, having weird interest, being a picky eater, speaking in a monotone voice, etc, and they later end up being diagnosed with autism, you are, in fact, still ableist. People shouldn’t have to have an official label or dx to be treated like human beings, and the fact that you’re more worried about the social connotations and disapproval you may face for being mean to someone with the autism label rather than being worried that you were cruel to someone who can’t help it says a lot about you.