andysambergss - Tumblr blog

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from first impressions (203 & 208) to confessions (320)

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disney kissing my forehead softly: tyrus is canon 

me: :’)

disney repeatedly punching me in the gut: but now they’re gone forever you fucking nerd 

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TJ: you don’t know me, I’ve got stuff.

Cyrus: betcha I’ve got more stuff

TJ: my real name is Thelonious Jagger

Cyrus: nevermind you’ve got more stuff

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tumblr users this christmas

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protect jacob peralta at all costs

+

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YOU GUUUUYYYSSSSS (x)

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When you’re team iPhone and you follow Apple maps and end up getting lost and the android user in the back seat comments “this would’ve never happened if you used google maps”

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i’m back

(probably just for a bit bc this is a main blog and it’s exhausting logging in and out of two blogs bc i’m an idiot and i use my other one a lot more)

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When you’re team iPhone and you follow Apple maps and end up getting lost and the android user in the back seat comments “this would’ve never happened if you used google maps”

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YOU GUUUUYYYSSSSS (x)

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hi i would just like to say how consistently in awe i am of nbc and the amount of love and care they have poured into b99 (and into making us happy) since the second they picked it up but especially this past week. that’s it. just nbc you’re doing amazing sweetie

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reblog this with the first celebrity crush you remember ever having in the tags

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brooklyn 99 hiatus creations → week two: outfits and disguises

Favorite Jake Peralta’s undercover disguises

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the sex tapes - B99

Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?

Jake: Kind, Sober, and Fully Dressed. Good news everyone, we found the name of Santiago’s sex tape!

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Amy: I’m sorry about tonight.

Jake: I’m Sorry About Tonight! We found the title for Santiago’s follow-up sex tape. 

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Amy: It’s not your fault, I was terrible.

Jake: It’s Not Your Fault, I Was Terrible is also one of your sex tapes.

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Amy [to Charles]: It was slightly less unbearable with you. *looks at jake* Don’t!

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 Amy: Not even going to touch that.

Jake: The Amy Santiago Story. 

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Amy: I’m horrible at this. When can we stop?

Jake: I’m Horrible at This—

Amy: I know, I know. Title of my sex tape.

Jake: Huh, well done. Title of my sex tape! 

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Amy: Just as long as we’re clear, I’m with someone and nothing is going to happen.

Jake: I’m With Someone, Nothing’s Going to Happen, name of your sex tape.

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Amy: I’ll get my stuff, but this better not bite me in the ass.

Jake: This Better Not Bite Me in the Ass, name of your sex tape.

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Amy: Uh-oh. I hope it doesn’t get too sexual.

Jake: Uh-Oh, I Hope It Doesn’t Get Too Sexual, title of your sex tape. But seriously, what is taking so long? Also, the title of your sex tape. 

-

Gina: Eek, blast of cold air coming out of that box.

Jake: Name of Amy’s sex tape. 

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Amy: Why doesn’t your mouth work?

Jake: Why Doesn’t Your Mouth Work? Title of our sex tape.

Amy: What?

Jake: Your sex tape! What? No.

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Amy: Yeah … I hope it wasn’t a mistake.

Jake: I Hope It Wasn’t a Mistake, title of your sex tape. Title of our sex tape!

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Amy: I just got it out of the vent to rub it in your faces.

Jake: I Just Got It Out of the Vent to Rub It in Your Faces, name of your sex tape. 

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Judge Marinovich: One more “but,” and you will be in contempt.

Jake: One More “Butt” and You’re in Contempt, name of your sex tape.

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Amy: I’ve been looking, but I can’t find anything and I don’t know what to do.

Jake: I Can’t Find Anything and I Don’t Know What to Do, title of your sex tape. 

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Amy: I’m so confused, I don’t know what’s happening right now

Jake: I’m So Confused, I Don’t Know What’s Happening Right Now, title of your sex tape.

Amy: *after jake proposes* Oh my God, I’m shaking, I’m definitely gonna cry. Title of your sex tape? 

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Jake: I came alone! Title of my sex tape!

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Boyle: No, the only way out of this hole is to keep digging.

Jake: That’s not how holes work — title of your sex tape.

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Boyle: But why don’t we take this map and this sextant and chart a course to the restaurant?

Holt: Title of your sex-tant tape.

Jake: Ah, did not work at all, but I love that you attempted it — title of your sex-tant tape.

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favourite b99 moments [2/∞] ➟ 4x08

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