anempathiccelaenasardothien

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

I'm looking back at random things I was taught as a kid by various adults and media and. did nobody bother to factcheck anything? was that just not an option or

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

rediscovering shame and giving yourself compassion (how to deal with shame as someone with ADHD)

this is directed towards my fellow ADHDers who have trouble with reoccuring shame while leads to hindered productivity.

signs that your productivity is hindered by shame (compiled by my own experiences):

you feel negative physical symptoms when you think about your responsibilities

you find ways to avoid the responsibilities

every time you make progress, you feel like you don't ever wanna touch it again

when you present your progress, you feel ashamed of yourself because it's not finished (on time & according to ur standards).

you feel like you are a constant failure. you never win, despite achieving good things here and there.

you are a walking ball of anxiety

you have a fear of being perceived

there's probably more, but eh those are just from my own experiences

below i will write down what y'all should remember, what you can do to help yourself, etc. this is compiled from dr k, my own journaling time, and my firsthand experience from having shame 24/7

some things u gotta remember

shame is what exists in the gap between your ideal self and where you are currently.

your ideal self doesn't have to be unrealistic, it can be yourself when you were at your peak or someone who is very similar to you.

shame brings negative thoughts, because it makes you see progress as a negative thing.

instead of being happy that u made progress, u grumble to urself and ask "why didnt i just do it sooner? im so stupid". it's a reminder of your failures, so u avoid progress altogether.

shame can become a part of you, to the point where you feel uneasy or vulnerable if you dont feel ashamed at yourself

shame doesn't do anything to ADHDers in the long run except self-loathing and hindered productivity.

what should u do?

basically self-therapy, but instead of stopping at why, i try to solve my shame one-by-one.

examine past moments where you felt a LOT of shame. this can go back to elementary. the stronger the emotions, the better. now, write them down. you're probably cringing, but that is good. feel all the cringiness running through ur veins.

why did you feel shame? why did it happen? what did you feel?

reframe your thoughts. instead of immediately running away from it, accept it and justify it. give it compassion. give it a hug. was it your 7 year old self? hug yourself. it's okay to fuck up and do silly things sometimes, and it's okay to have ADHD. it's not our fault.

remember that ADHD is a lifelong nerudivergency, you can't just push it away. coping mechanisms and tools help, but give yourself some grace when you screw up. it's our first time living anyway.

calm your body down. make sure your physical body is doing okay.

now... think of one thing you want to do but can't because of shame and do these steps carefully. think of the reasons why you might be ashamed, and reframe your thoughts.

WARNING!! TAKE IT ONE PRESENT ACTION AT A TIME. don't do this for every action you want to take, let your body slowly learn that it's okay to make progress despite the shame you feel, and you are allowed to feel compassion for yourself.

train your body to accept compassion slowly. life is tough with ADHD but it's even tougher knowing that shame will get in your way. give yourself a break, it's fine to fuck up, we all go through different things anyway. even if it's not fine, you will learn and make those mistakes a lil bit lesser in the future.

ok hope this helps.

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

"I really see vampires as transcending gender. If you make them absolutely straight or absolutely gay, you limit the material. They can be either one. They have a polymorphous sexuality. They see everything as beautiful." - Anne Rice

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

Chappell Roan - Coachella 2024

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

Not Karl..

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

I was a potato, snuggled deep down in the soil.

I was very disappointed when I woke up.

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

I hate it here is for all the girlies who grew up reading books as a precocious child and dreamt of worlds that exist only in a sophisticated imagination, for the girls who live in delusions

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

capybara

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

the nuisance of our language is stunning

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

i love potatoes

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

I'm so restless I just need to be stabbed or something idk

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

LGBTQ+ TV-SHOWS UPDATE 🌈

Last month I explained how my friend needs feedback for his website Lingopie where you can learn a language watching movies and tv-shows with dual subtitles and effective tools to progress super, super quick! Here is how it works by the way:

I did a poll asking if people would be interested in them obtaining licensing for LGBTQ+ tv-shows and movies…but the problem was that they have limited funds…

98% or so of you were in favor of them adding LGBTQ shows to their learning platform. I passed on all your replies and he was thrilled to see so many of you willing to help. He's been working hard these past couple weeks on adding LGBTQ+ tv-shows in a variety of languages so I am excited to announce you can now learn the following languages in gay!

Japanese 🇯🇵, Korean 🇰🇷, Spanish 🇪🇸, French 🇫🇷, German 🇩🇪, Italian 🇮🇹, Portuguese 🇵🇹 and English 🇺🇸

Video streaming takes a lot of data, so usually there is no free trial but as a thank you, he wants to invite you to test Lingopie 7-days for free and get a big discount when you sign up! This offer is only available for a limited time.

Hope you have fun learning a new language and acing those exams if you have any!

Click here to try it out! ✨

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

i was watching a deep sea documentary and these underwater cameras found a bigfin squid hovering ominously in the vast, crushing darkness. it was really fun hearing the scientists talk over the footage like “what’s that?” “o-oh looks like a squid haha” like with audible tension til they got a clearer shot. i could hear them trying to logic through and reason “surely that’s not something horrible” in real time in their voices. meanwhile the squid’s just hovering there like an evil marionette master

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

i'm begging you guys to start pirating shit from streaming platforms. there are so many websites where you can stream that shit for free, here's a quick HOW TO:

1) Search for: watch TITLE OF WORK free online

2) Scroll to the bottom of results. Click any of the "Complaint" links

3) You will be taken to a long list of links that were removed for copyright infringement. Use the 'find' function to search for the name of the show/movie you were originally searching for. You will get something like this (specifics removed because if you love an illegal streaming site you don't post its url on social media)

4) each of these links is to a website where you can stream shit for free. go to the individual websites and search for your show/movie. you might have to copy-paste a few before you find exactly what you're looking, but the whole process only takes a minute. the speed/quality is usually the same as on netflix/whatever, and they even have subtitles! (make sure to use an adblocker though, these sites are funded by annoying popups)

In conclusion, if you do this often enough you will start recognizing the most dependable websites, and you can just bookmark those instead. (note: this is completely separate from torrenting, which is also a beautiful thing but requires different software and a vpn)

you can also download the media in question (look for a "download" button built into the video window, or use a browser extension such as Video DownloadHelper.)

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

I'm sorry I can't read that book you recommended. Yeah, no, it's just that beginning something new that I don't know if I'm in the mood for is to me what plastic bags are to horses and if you play 30 seconds of an unfamiliar audiobook I WILL spook and break two of my legs.

[anempathiccelaenasardothien]

one of the most baffling parts of adhd is the food thing. you know the thing i'm talking about. like it is 8:30pm on a friday night, i had to work late and i know i really need to eat dinner but i don't actively feel my hunger right now and i can't think of anything i would enjoy consuming or that i have the energy to prepare but i'm also fully aware i'm gonna feel like shit if i don't eat dinner