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Self Obituary

“If I could just turn back the time, I will correct all of my mistakes and wrong decisions in life.” As a teenager, we are known to be vulnerable, we are soft and weak that’s why we tend to do things that were not good for us and others.

I overthink, and overthinking kills my happiness. I usually think negative thoughts, which hinders my productivity because all that I think was everything that I do is a failure. I distanced myself to others and even to my parents and friends. I always feel that I’m such a disappointment to everyone. I always sleep late, staring at the ceiling and thinking of some random thoughts.

Everything’s a mess. Everything in me was a mess. I let other people come and go, I let them hurt me and leave me hanging on air. I made some quick decisions in life that brings a huge impact on what I am as of now. I am slowly dying.

Everything we do has an equivalent consequence. I nearly died not physically but emotionally. “If I could just turn back the time, I will correct all of my mistakes and wrong decisions in life.” We can’t deny the fact that the past are still ghosting us. Some will say that if they will be given a chance to change everything from the past, they will change some decisions they did; but I do believe that I will not be here today if I changed some events from the past.

Every little thing that I did before has been a great part as who I am today. Life is short and we should not be regretting about everything we did before. We make mistakes and I think it is the stepping stone for us to achieve our goals. We grow from different aspects and I think it’s normal.

We can no longer go back to what we once were, but we can make the best of a bad situation and appreciate everything instead of regretting from the past and everything.

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Mi Amor

        The person I am choosing to describe is the one who stole my heart, Reilhan Jess. We first started talking near the end of May of last year, but didn’t really become that close until we hung out on a jogging session of me and my bestfriends. He was my elementary classmate and to be honest, my enemy too; because he kept on teasing me every single day before. But as went goes by, he and I have continued to grow closer and spend as much time together as possible.

       Reilhan is a not so tall person but he loves to play basketball. His black hair that always bounces whenever he walk or even run makes my eyes sparkle. During the summer, he grows it out longer that makes him more hot and attractive. He has those beautiful speaking eyes that are dark brown. His eyes never lie, you’ll know if he’s happy, sad or mad. He has an amazing smile; he has one of those warm, inviting smiles that instantly make a person more comfortable around him. His quite tanned skin together with his bumpy muscle makes him more appealing. He has a deep, manly voice that makes me weak. He also have that pleasant smell that you will really love to sniff every single time.

       Not only of his physical appearance, that made me fall in love, but the loving personality he has. He has one of those charismatic personalities that are hard to find as of now. He is a kind man, a gentleman one. He is very close with all of his family. He is one of the most caring people I have ever met. He always puts the needs and feelings of other people above his own. He is very understanding and optimistic; he always chooses to look at the brighter side of life and teach you that everything in this world has a purpose. No matter how bad of a day I’ve had, he will always stop what he’s doing to listen to me, and then bring back the smile to my face again. His sense of humor makes him more of an ideal man.

      But you know what makes me fall in love more? His closeness to God. Nothing can beat someone who has a great relationship with God because as they always say; Love a guy who loves God, because a person who is serious about their walk with God, will always have pure intentions to you and will be serious about you. And I can proudly say that I am blessed to have a man like him.

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REACTION PAPER

I.              Synopsis

It's been a while since Ethan’s loved one left.  Years had passed but he still remembers everything about her, every single thing about her, the simplicity she had was the thing that made him fall in love. The memories they’ve shared together, those moments of joy and laughter, and even on the saddest part of their lives; are still fresh on Ethan’s memory. Ethan shared that he loves that girl very much, and he didn’t even expect that she will be falling in love with Ethan too. But life is full of surprises, full of unexpected happenings. Ethan and her loved one’s movie ended, and yes every movie has an ending but that ending was not the ending Ethan’s expecting and he never wanted to end that movie with her. But he faced things, he became strong not just for her girl but also for himself. And he can now proudly say that he has overcome those worst moments. He can now smile without thinking any thoughts of hopes to be loved by the one who left him. Ethan said that he wanted the best for her; he wanted her to be happy even though that happiness does not include him anymore. He will still wait for the time that all his questions will be answered. And everything will be okay.

II.            Reaction

Sometimes, things don’t go the way we want them to, but that make us stronger. Sometimes we are in the situation that the happiness was overflowing, everything is exciting and we think that everything will be like that especially when we are with someone we love. I felt that, they made us feel the joy that we haven’t experienced before; they’ve made us feel like we are really part of their lives but it’s a big no. They’ve made us feel everything but in the end? They left us. They left us empty; emotionless and everything. But we have to be strong for us to survive. For us to be whole again, just like what Trump said, sometimes by losing a battle we find a new way to win the war and that is absolutely right. We have to face things with positivity. We have to turn the negativity into positivity and put in mind that everything has a purpose. Don’t give up because quitters in life never win.

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I’ve lost

That genuine smile, that laugh, that joyful voice I have, that funny personality of  me, and everything. I miss that. I miss the old me.  I miss the old version of myself. Some may mention some specific person they’ve missed, but for me, I miss myself. I miss everything in me.  

I know that as the time goes by, struggles and problems are getting challenging and hard. And I do believe that struggling and having conflict with yourself is the worst thing. I lost my self-esteem. I was starting to compare my life to others and comparing how I look to other women. I was starting to lose interest on the things that I've loved. I was starting to be mediocre. That competitiveness in me was gone. I was starting to do unusual things. I'm starting to forget  the little things, and even the most important things. And what's worst?  I was starting not to giving care about myself.

Some will say that it's just a piece of shit, but for me, it matters.  How ironic it is right?

To keep on doing things that I know can harm me, that I know that is not good for me.  I know it may sound weird but it's true.  I was pretending day by day, pretending that I can, pretending that I will, pretending that everything's fine. It's not easy to pretend, but I kept on pretending because I don't want anyone else to be part of this.  I don't want them and you to worry about me. It might sound selfish but that's what’s good for me, I think.  

Nothing in this life will be easy. We will cry, laugh, scream and be silent. What you do to get over that wall is what defines you. I know I I will get over in this situation, I know that soon everything will be fine and okay.  Thinking positive is not easy, with everything we've gone through. Positive thinking takes a lot of discipline. Creating new thinking and new habits is what I need and I promise that I will do it. I will practice positive thinking and start doing things that will make me feel like I am  enough.

I know everything has a purpose, and I know this has a purpose.  I will start to give myself and love myself more. I will start to admit my mistakes and I will change it the way it should be.  

I know it's hard, to start again, to rebuild my self again but I know I can make it.  “Trust yourself and work hard. Life gives no promises; all that the universe recognizes is your energy. You give out good energy, you will be given exactly what you give out,” Mr. Patrick said, and this will serve as a motivation for me.

[angeeelandes-blog]

Not a Girl, a Woman

( a personal narrative)

Life is much complex than we think. A thousand pages of unexpected happenings, inevitably into something new and revealing. Some say it’s a roller coaster ride, full of twist and turns…and I do believe it is true, but it is always a choice to scream or just enjoy the ride.

      On her junior highschool days, Angel didn’t expect those life changing circumstances that have been a great part of who she is today. It was still fresh on my mind, on how I got separated from my circle of friends during Grade 9. They divided our section like  waves who surge our remaining days to make more memories. They were always there for me; sisters not in blood but in fate and bond…and I thought life was like that simple...perhaps, not all people we choose to love will stay, and when they leave, maybe it’s time to turn the page.

   Next chapter, was a difficult times for Angel. She has been diagnosed with dengue fever, also her blood sugar was too high, as her platelets count went too low.

       I’ve been bedridden for a couple of weeks, with a desire to come back in school. I felt helpless during that time…for me as a competitive girl who wants to recognized with honors and awards, this made me realize that life is not that smooth, that there is hindrance before achievements.

    Thus, these illnesses were never become a hindrance to her. After, she regained her health, Angel went back to her school life…and passed school requirements that she had left…I’m proud to say that I did my best, in order for me to rise up again in my academic performance…I’ve got an average of 85, and for me it’s beyond what anyone can do.

  Another, curseful thing that happened to Angel was when she fell inlove with a man she thought a prince of nobility and gallantness , but just a man with a hundred promises.

        It’s a soul breaking memory in my life, that until now it’s hard for me to share. It’s absurd to think that a man can do so much pain in my life, more than what a more perilous illness could do. All I can say is that he was a cheater, like a knight who breaks his oaths and vows…but perhaps, he was just a character who walk down in one chapter of my life to made me realize, that fairytales are not for human, but for dreamers.

    This betrayal had lose her hopes  not just to men, but to other person. She was grown up to be a real lady whose trust is not just easily to give anymore. She built walls around her, thus giving other person a distant impression of her.

Some people may know me as a campus girl of Pantaleon, a passionate member of Supreme Students Government, or a maiden for every contest whose beauty and popularity are the criteria but behind all of that is a lady whose craving for dashing laughs, a lady who you can be leaned on, a lady who's only dream is to be loved and respected wholeheartedly.

  Her Kamp Kawayan family teach her to become dedicated in all things. She learn to stand up not just for herself but for other people, for her classmates. Angel had shown her optimistic views through struggles; and with many people she have met and many experiences in life she've been through...I've learned the bigger picture of understanding, that there is a deeper reason behind all of this.

  It's been a great journey, and I love how it goes. In the next few months I will now be an official adult, a woman whose ready for a new chapter in her life... And I'm looking forward to more lessons what life will teach me.

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                   Angel Aliza

               an angel in disguise

                    (biography)

Angel Aliza an 18 year old girl. She was born at Cavite City, year 2000  14th day of August. She was the product of Dominador Salcedo and Gloria Miraloma Miranda. Angel Aliza was the only child. And even though she has a sad past; she was successfully raised by her father. Her parents are separated and she is living together with her father.

           Her existence was a life and death situation; there are complications when she was born. Everyone said that she was very blessed because it was really a miracle. When she was starting to grow up, her father noticed something about her, she loves to draw and she always does some crafts. She started going to school when she was five and continue studying at toclong elementary school when she was seven.  In her elementary days, she met the two girls that has been part of her life. Her  best friends. Angel said that her best friends fulfilled the love that she can’t get from her mother. But despite of having no a broken family, Angel continue to study hard for her father. Her first achievements made his father so proud. Angel Aliza used her talent, she was joining different poster competitions and slogan making contest when she was elementary. Angel Aliza finished her elementary year 2012 and she continues studying at Haven of Wisdom Academy. Her junior high school life has been a roller coaster ride for her. She was enrolled at three school for four years because of personal matters. But she remain strong. She face things with positivity. Her junior high school days was very challenging too, she had joined several pageants that made her improve and increase her self-esteem. On her junior high school days, she’s been through different scenarios and situation that made her a strong person. Her first heartbreak, her first mental breakdown, and etc.  Angel Aliza was able to finished junior high school year 2017. She was a junior high school completer, with honors. Angel continue studying at St. Mary Magdalene Catholic School. She was currently doing good at school, because of her dad, who inspires and motivate her a lot. Who would have thought that a girl ho has a sad past will continue to live and strive hard just to reach and achieve her goal, she will not make it without the help of her family, friends and of course no other than, God. “ I will continue to achieve my goal, soon I will be a flight attendant and I will help everyone who helped me.”

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 My Autobiography

Year 2001, 11th day, month of May, little me was born. I was the product of Mary Jean and Roy's love. I was the middle child. I have one big sister, Ninchie and one little brother, John Lei. I was born in Bautista Hospital in Cavite City. Whenever I ask my mom about how I was born, I can't stop from laughing. "We are all shocked when u came out, you were like a monkey because the hair in your body was so thick not like your sister. Your eyebrows were so thick too." I don't take that as an insult because that was really true. I was really a hairy person before, but as the time pass by, they gradually disappear. Going back, the little me was quite naughty and jolly. I remember, me and my cousin are always fighting, pulling each other's hair, punching each other's belly and squishing each other's face. Can you imagine how naughty I am before?  Mom said that I always want to try and explore new things before when I was young. I also love to travel too. I remember when we were in Manila Zoo, because of too much excitement and happiness I was scalded by the cigarette. Thank God that the wound healed fast. I also remember when me and my sister go outside our compound, we are not allowed to go outside that’s why we want to try it, when were on our way, we bumped to a drunk men with a knife on his hands and the drunk men start to run, we are so afraid so we run also and we don’t notice that we are not wearing our slippers anymore, just to escape. I have done so many silly things before but I can’t remember the others now.

The naughty side of me was ended when I started going to school. My mother told me that I really wanted to go to school already when I was a kid. And as a mother, she enrolled me in Pilot Elementary School. My mom told me that before I went to school I knew how to read and count already. I was the only child who doesn’t experience to go to nursery and preparatory unlike my two siblings, they completed the NKP. When I was in grade 1 I found my best friend Angel Aliza and what a coincidence because her mom and my mom was friends before too. And I was so happy because we have been together through ups and down and until now, we are still best friends. She has been there on our very first achievement and we both celebrate it because we are both part of the honor students. And then time pass by, I was grade 2 and I met so many friends but only the two of them remain. They are Angel Aliza and Mary Dale. On grade 3 things start to change because I’m starting to discover my talents and started to join different organizations, I also started to compete outside the school like quiz bee, dance competitions, storytelling and many more. The scenario was the same until grade 6 and more responsibilities was given to me because I was elected as the President of supreme pupil government on our school. I have been excused on the class for how many times because of different seminars, competitions and etc. I finished elementary and I’m so happy because I received different awards and I gave it to my parents because I survived. I remember after I graduated, I was so nervous that time because I was already thinking about what will happen when I go to high school. I’m that kind of person who thinks in advance, but sometimes it doesn’t help me because I do overthink.

Junior High School days started, I was enrolled at General Emilio Aguinaldo National High School. GEANHS was a big one, a big big one and I have to adjust on my new school environment. At first, I was so nervous but as the time passed by I was starting to be comfortable with the environment that I have. I feel pressured because I was on the star section when I was in junior high but with the help of my new friends we started to be more relaxed and enjoy the every single day. Years have passed and I have so many realizations and learnings l when I was in junior high. I can say that my junior high school days was a big part of my life, it’s the time that I experience to be stressed, it’s the time that I found great friends, it’s the time that I experienced the my first heart break  and many more. I learned a lot when I was on junior high, I learned how to be independent, I learned how to manage time because there was a lot of competitions and organizations that I joined, and I learned how to be a more understanding person.

When I moved up, my parents were not with me, because they are in Bicol because they are processing some stuffs so I texted them, “mom! I, junior high school completer- with honors.” And they congratulate me and said, “We did it”. I hope that I made my parents proud that time.

           And now I am already a senior high school student and currently studying at Gen. Pantaleon Garcia Senior High School. My senior high school days was very different unlike on junior high, it’s more difficult, stressing, challenging but I enjoy how it goes. There are a lot of new things to do, new friends, new discoveries and exploration and many more. Graduation is near and there only three months left so I was enjoying every single day. I want to be a teacher someday and I will do everything just to achieve my goal. With the help of God and my family, I’m claiming that we will make it!

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Hidden Beauty of Siniloan

October 30 year 2016, I and my Aunties decide to go to a place where we can unwind. My Aunt is working at the Schools Division Office and guess what? They will be having  a hiking at October 30 also, so we decided to come with them. Hiking with the higher officials of DepEd, it’s kinda awkward but it’s okay. I thought that I will be having a hard time socialize with them but I was wrong, they are amazing and very friendly that made our adventure more memorable.

The experience we’ve had before during and after our hiking was irreplaceable. I remember when were on our way to Siniloan, I vomited because the roadgoing to Siniloan was very curved and I feel so dizzy that time. That was an epic experience for me. When we finally reached our destination, we’ve had our  orientation about the do’s and don’ts during hiking. The tour guide told us that the hiking will last for hours. I was so shocked that time, “Will I survive this?” I said to my cousins and we started ranting about it. During our hiking, I and my cousins kept on asking our tour guide, “Kuya we’ve been walking for almost five hours, when we will reach our destination? We are so damn tired”. Our tour guide was a liar, because he kept on saying that were near but the truth is were not yet near. After walking for almost six hours, finally we’ve reached our real destination, I thought it would be a normal hiking experience but I was wrong, the perfect flow of the water from the peak of the mountain turned my poker face into a very amazed one like a kid. A very beautiful twin waterfalls. I was so amazed and overwhelmed. We didn’t care how tired we were because the crystal clear water of the falls encouraged us to swim.

After that very tiring day, I realized that it’s okay to be tired because it’ll be worth it, and I realized that God’s creation is really a blast.