angelicdemonx13-blog

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

Mom life

I haven't been on here in a while I had my son. He is almost 2. This is the first time since he has been born that stuff is really overwhelming. Our rent is about t go up, we are on a fixed income our budget is already maxed out, but I want t ssve for a better living situation for us. I wish we could get a situation that fits our budget better but with no way t save for the deposit, or save period it has us in a bad spot n constant stress. I also wish I could find a job that fit our needs.

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This mom's group on cheech and mom's on fb.

Has been finding anything wrong with any of my posts lately.

The one before this, I posted a pic of my 7 month old son, talking about him finally getting cereal n the Mod didn't even read it and assumed he was too, young when I said his age in the post. So I had to redo it,b/c she assumed n didn't look at the post.

Yesterday, I asked for advice, I don't do drugs of any kind and my recreation is sex play. I needed advice about making sure I'm up to date on my legal information b/c ppl keep trying t act like, they could go t dss or the police.

The mod said- strippers are sex workers, sex play is sex work and the post cannot have sex work in it or fb will flag it. I am including links too supporting photos. The original reply from the mod. One or two posts about polygamy and posts inviting ppl to be partners, posts that have the word porn in it, post that has the word playboy in it, LGBt community groups within cheech and moms, a post of a joke slur about lesbians. Yes Cheech n Mom's allows lesbian jokes but not strippers or anything strippers or sex play (they say its sex work)

I've seen posts on here of so much shit. So many woman, stuck b/c they moved n none of the stuff is theres n the guy tells them t get a job t have stuff but theres no way for them t do that.

Most of these mom's on here have the worst attitude b/c they have a lot of kids or not morning ppl.

So apathetic about some things.

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

Joseph Helms I was really surprised that u lacked research....ur normally good about that.....why would Jada just say she has allopetia?...... a woman’s hair means a lot. She’s publicly let pp,into her life n it’s public knowledge that her n her family is dealing with this. Of course will Smith is hurting by it just as much as she is b/c he hurts with her. are you kidding? legal??? will Smith could sue the shit out of Chris rock n the tv channel that allowed that t happen, he’s well enough known, has enough money, has a big enough following. as much bias as in the police department, if the cops showed up they would have been on will smith’s side. n not done nothing. cops if s9me one said something about their wife would do the same thing and use the fact that they are the police so there’s no one to call. but it is expected from u b/c you subscribe to nothing but men geared groups. woman have no respect.....is being a good man this day n age so out of ordinary that ppl don’t know what it looks like. no all the stuff you subscribe to is yellow bellied cowardly men groups that would let anyone say shit about their female instead of defend her. Yeah legally jada could go after whatever channel aired that , has enough money, n has a big enough following in cancel culture.....I cannot believe Chris Rock was a part of I think it’s called “The history of hair” or something talking about how his children are growing up in a time where it’s hard for them t know how t where their natural hair. To be the one to jab at Jada wearing her natural hair. Jada has done so much good, n is having such a hard time, she doesn’t judge nobody. but the smiths probably are not gonna give him the satisfaction Jada by herself has a bigger media presence than Chris rock, he’s pretty much retired. Will Smith is still going with his media career. which is why you wouldn’t understand with his insecurity, t go after a kind, highly successful African American woman that is way more actively successful than him rn. Its like him going after Oprah....he might as well have....stupid

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

How God always provides

A little real life story of how God always provides with my quirky ness even when ppl n things are trying t sabatoge me:

So I made a guy friend. N lately I keep getting these guy friends that, are more issue than help. Like, if you go hang with them even if they “be nice” n pay gas say 10$ their gonna take that as their money so you got t come hang with them, so your not getting anything cuz ur gonna end up using not only the 5 but 10 more of your own that you don’t have t spend, b/c these ppl don’t think about realistic your issues, like all they see is their money problems n if they wouldn’t have that money problem, u don’t neither... me n this person are already not speaking. So there’s no new friend t look forward too...the point is they are gonna make sure even though they “helped” they screw u over worse than before them, b/c they didn’t get their way. You could have bent over backwards up til then, but that one no or wrong thing t them...🙄 n me n him aren’t speaking cuz he guilt tripped me jokingly about “blowing off” a doctors appointment, t fuck off at the pool, when I had planned this trip t this place for weeks, t get items as soon as I got paid t make sure I have all my stuff for delivery, to make sure my son, has clothes t wear t come home, n is warm, n everything t start our new routine when I bring him home, so I have 50 million things on my mind, but I make time t bring this fucker along, t drive extra t hang out with him, n then him guilt me about it t make me feel like a bad mom for one doing something for myself but for hanging with him....about something he has no business opening his mouth about my medical care or my child that is not his. N when I asked him....he told me, if I’m uncomfortable about anything to tell him, n I said about this....he acted like I was crazy n down played me speaking about it, said “u tell me now? Why didn’t you tell me then?” I told him, “It doesn’t matter when or how I said it, you should respect what I’m asking.” 

So this new friend gives me like 14$ n we hang out for like 3 days. Where I’m driving is long driving n killer on me cuz I’m pregnant it’s a hour each way. I ended up using the 20$ I brought for the pool, for supper for me n him but I was frustrated about the pool cuz it was closed n wasn’t supposed t b so I needed food therapy, the last 6$ I had t get to him the next day, finally get t go t the pool, had like 60 left over. But used 20 of that to get home for gas. The last day, Sunday. After gas n toilet paper this week n dish soap. I’d been complaining to a friend that I have just enough to get to my planned baby shower pool thing in a few weeks.

All my extra spare change, I have the 4$ for the pool n enough t make sure I have enough gas t not wonder if I’ll make it home.

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My n Nana’s story long version

Most of the things in my life I only explain ever once in a while, when i’m ready because in transitioning from young adult to adult we sometimes feel like we need to prove things or defend our choices or actions. When we don’t. There are very few ppl that are entitled to information or have your best interest at heart. The fact that they are trying t force information out of u, manipulating, n making u feel bad for nothing u did wrong, for information that is none of their business, shows that.

I’ve even had some doctors be insensitive, u know ppl u think know better, or would have more tact or care. ““I have a fur baby” “ehhh that’s not the same really”  

I came home from deployment n got a truck, my first rented home, n I went to get my dog oreo who had been boarded all deployment. I had paid throughout deployment, but even returning it’s a costly thing. I still owed 2,000$ I paid 1,000$ til I could pay the rest.

Soon after that I was invited to a family mountain trip camping, and I took oreo, n she did great n had a good time, I left early for a relatives wedding and to visit a bf/ old friend of mine n brought oreo home.

Soon after that, my rented home, was not fenced n sat on a 5 lane highway. It was middle of the night early morning, 12am -5am n she was out pottying, n got a wild hair up her butt n ran across the street, no traffic. I called her, n she was on her way back across, when a black truck hit her, I don’t know what happened after that. She didn’t come t my side. N I looked fir her for days, n talked to neighbors. I didn’t find her.

I was distraught, I had recently lost my biological mother, n it hit me hard, I barely had her back.

A military friend had a puppy that they couldn’t keep, asking 400$ for her, I gave them 300$ intending t pay the rest, but that friend has never faulted me for that 100$.

A pure bred shepherd months old puppy, whose mom was a prize winning show dog n dad was a police dog.

Nana came into my life when I needed her most. N that started our journey together taking her on walks at the park. We hadn’t gotten her vaccinated yet cuz we just hadn’t gotten to it yet. She got parvo.

Again I just lost my biological mom, that I don’t feel like I got enough time t get my shit together so I could spend more time with her, oreo was gone,n now my saving grace was about t b taken too. Dogs surviving parvo is slim.

But I cleaned n sanitized, figured out what it was, n one evening decided to take her to the emergency animal hospital, bleeding all over the back seat of my truck, sat for hours for them t tell me they were keeping her over night, n sending meds home, for maybe...n it would  cost 600$.

I didn’t have pet insurance, I paid the 600$, n went home n waited. I came t get her the next day. Brought her home with meds. N continued to clean n sanitize, n crush up her pills in water t get them down her throat with a syringe, n keep water in her with the syringe.

n she lived. She is such a fighter.

Potty n poop accidents, trying t train her t potty, her eating everything because she thinks she’s a goat, the fire mantel bottom bricking, the side of doors like cribbing, she ate my chair, like ppl had reapolstered it, n she ripped the back out n chewed on the old wood, the metal brackets, n there was even a sowing needle that fell out, thank goodness I got it before she tried t eat that, her being afraid of a feather, because she’s not ok with anything, until she can put it in her mouth. She has ruined, eaten, or broken cuz of her energy tons of special things t me, but that’s just stuff n she’s a living breathing, once ever thing that I only got a number of days with.

Soon after that, I lost my home. N that started me n her bouncing around from relatives n friends, areas I could keep her, trying t get on my feet. A pampered expensive dog went from nice surroundings to areas where it’s outside encloses that I come every couple of days to feed her n exercise her. N I know she thought she did something wrong, but I kept coming back. Long nights n hours in her crate bouncing around.

Her taring up other ppls stuff, that were helping us out. During my stay in transitional housing, in advocating for emotional support animals and educating, it’s a fight. My first peer support counselor, which is the person who is supposed to help u find housing prospects, n drive u there n help you navigate the rental interview process, did not want to back me up on my pet needs. He told me a story about his son having a shepherd n loving the dog n training it n they moved n had to shelter the dog, n tore his son up n decided they could keep it, but by the time they did, the dog had been homed.....so his story was that, it’s a nice breed it will go fast....sure she looks like a nice dog, but with her behavioral issues early, I knew ppl would not anticipate how much care she needs and she would bounce around n b in danger. With that in mind, here specific needs, the fact that I’ve invest money, time, n care into this animal, makes me the right care taker.

At a relatives house, I was trained her and taking long walks into downtown, taking her into post offices to teach her to sit quietly. N we had just come from a walk down town in my truck, I thought I had tired out n she usually did good with staying in a home yard but once in a while she’d get a wild hair up her butt, n run off, n she did that this night. She bolted off n I went after her calling her, n the same thing only in reverse. I heard her. I heard her get hit, I didn’t see it, and I found her. I picked her up a good size shepherd at 3-4 yrs. old. N carried her across a field as far as I could. N almost out of the field I put her down n told her ur gonna have t walk n she walked the rest of the way to the shed I was keeping her in. My cousin, a nurse, helped me get the bleeding t stop, n bandage her n give her meds. She does not like t stay down, it wasn’t long before she was back up n seemingly walking like normal, n I didn’t think anything was wrong.

We wouldn’t take quit as long walks and at her pace.

After this, when Nana n I were living in the trailer, before transitional housing, I noticed after our long walks, that here leg would be tender n ginger. She started getting red hairless areas that she chewed that no matter what I did,changing her food, put on it, I didn’t know what it was or what t do. But we were getting whatever food we could at that time too. It was during this time, a really low point, that anything I did was for her. I got up n dud stuff for her, I stayed positive fir her, I went t work no matter what was going on to provide for her, I stayed healthy n fit with n for her. I was in this position b/c any affordable housing option in this area either didn’t allow dogs, or didn’t allow her breed. N I, have no children, I’m a adult can fend fir myself. She’s a responsibility that I said yes to. I would rather live in a tent with my dog than not with her. Whatever food I had, she’s getting some. If we had McDonald’s, she’s either getting half of burger or she’s getting nuggets n water. No electricity, some running water but no hot water, we had heat, n food. N I could go t a near friends house to shower, wash clothes n bring back water n food for her. I worked a lot n she would b coupled up in the trailer fir 8 hrs at a time not using bathroom n no safe large area fir her t play n run. I would come let her out fir a bit n put right back, or I worked 7pm -closing shift n I’d bring her in my truck, windows down, dark evening, with water in a bowl n her food or treats for the evening. So after work, I could take her t a near by park which was still across town, to let her run n exercise, b/c no safe area at our trailer park. Before going home, eating something, washing up, n bed. N us sleeping, letting her out real quick, n after work was all the time we got together.

Soon after this, I decided to do something to get in a better position to care for both me n her. I put her in Guardian Angels for soldiers pets, so I could come to Charlotte n get on my feet. Everything that I did staying focused, completing it as quickly as I did, was motivated by wanting to get situated to get her back. It was in this n her intake vet exam that I found out the red spots were her being allergic t gluten, I also found out that her leg had grown it was a bit dislocated, n some muscle had grown between to pinch, but there wasn’t much to do about it at this point. She runs n does like normal but it needs t b rested some, n t watch her. 

All these factors, along with I don’t like to be away from her for extended amounts of time, anything is better if she can be there. I do pay attention to her, I take information about her seriously. She is a investment, she is a support system that is always here. She isn’t 9-5. She makes me smile even recently when I’m crying, she laid in the cold with me at my lowest point heating me. She is not optional. This is why I fight for animals, for animal support. I get it if your not as committed as I am, it takes a certain type of person to advocate constantly. But my dog is worth it. 

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

More on Shitty Landlord

So I’m pregnant on anti depressants, I’ve had trouble sleeping for a while. My landlords have wasted their time, past two days. This month has been A MONTH for me. I’m highly stressed out which is another contributing factor to my lack of being able t sleep. N it ends with them being assholes. They waste their time coming 2 days in a row, because they refuse t schedule, n want t just show up when they want. My landlord just saw me last Friday or something n one lied n did not return. 2 dialed t schedule at that time face t face knowing, I have no phone n no email to be able t contact anyone.

I’ve been asking for a fridge since January, I’m pregnant, n wasted half my wic not able t use it cuz my fridge doesn’t keep food. What I did buy, wasted half cuz it spoils....it was so nice for loaves n fishes t bring me food n t have milk but half that jug spoiled in like 3 days.....cuz of their asses. They get paid 700 is a month from va n government through Hudvash which is section 8 for verterans to not uphold their responsibility. They agreed in Hudvash voucher to 48 hour notice t enter property n they disregard this n try t get around it, every chance they get.

last 3 months I’ve had a phone and email,  barely nothing from them. The last scheduled appointment, he was a hour late,a no show n did not reschedule.

the months before that, they miraculously showed up on the days I have appointments, I’m home all week....but happen t show up n waste their time on dates I’m not home. Because they refuse t schedule n then bitch n complain at me n my va social worker because they continue to be so unprofessional.

This morning, they lied. N threatened me n my dog, that they needed in property for repairs. N would call animal control. Nothing about the fridge, he’s hopped on the roof, because it looks horrible in my place n if told him about it in  emails n they disregard them n play around, but hes on that now not the fridge I’ve asked for, has costed me resources n once my child is here becomes a health issue because I have t store breast milk properly n I can’t waste it, and I can’t clean my fridge every month like I have been, n subject my food t make breast milk n the milk t germs.

I called animal control immediately t see what would be done. They said that it’s not a animal control matter n it’s a health matter they wouldn’t do anything. So this asshole is threatening me n my dog, who is a emotional support animal n part of my medication, with lies. But even so I’m concerned for Nana’s safety, because these the type of ppl that would say she bit them, ““accidentally  let her out, n without me, outside this house, she in danger n likely to go towards cars, squirrels or other dogs.  They insist on showing up when I’m knocked out, I don’t even know they are there. To possibly endanger my dog b/c they want t b assholes.

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I’m obsessed with Korean n finally Russian cooking

https://youtu.be/vZ4r18yb-14

Found out recently that Russians think Americans eat beans for breakfast. Which me n another person I used t know might b the only ones that maybe have, but most don’t.

https://www.facebook.com/healthyheartstogetherLA/posts/10159242937513912

here is a fb post with links to the Korean Youtubers I am now obsessed with and the items I found recently.

I love the international store near me, not just all the great stuff for me at a affordable price (I love tea and there are lots of international teas here) but for things I make for nana also. I have started my collection of some korean foods, I’ve seen in these episodes.

Here are a few extra ones that I hadn’t seen the ramen in, I love all these youtubers

https://youtu.be/z-b8BM88KX0

https://youtu.be/Nb25l55cLng

https://youtu.be/ZHGDudKUJbU

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

Politically correct and freedom of speech

Fear amongst the older generation is arroused due to the cancel culture which basically boycotts people because they simply do not like that person’s opinion. Further cancel culture is ghastly because these fatal, detrimental happening occur by ppl speaking about issues or “scene” ‘n their own opinion, warnings or information that is never verified as fact. 

For example, the celebrities of YouTube get their fair share of drama because they come after the slayers n the popular the most. @jamescharles was recently berated over a dinner, the family invited him too, with scathing critiquing, saying ““we think James Charles is trying to leach off this young person’s fame” to cause strife. James Charles has every step of the way made his intentions clear speaking what He intended. Furthermore me as innocent by stander new t the scene, I see nothing. It’s like some one telling you there is a spot right there n for the life of you, you don’t see the spot!

Are these ppl inflating something that really isn’t there to cut ppl down???

I’ve been wanting t discuss also, the issue of offense. It is a travesty that this country stays at a stalemate going no where because ppl cannot......ADULTS cannot put things aside n compromise n think of other ppl n give ppl space t b who they need t be because you have the freedom n space t do u!

It’s as simple as, if they are not comiting crime or harming themselves or others, you must give them protected space to practice, whatever!

Putting things aside so we can work together n progress, but that isn’t going to happen until certain groups feel cared about.

The LGBTV community has lots who have been in committed relationships, good citizens, paying faithfully, for allowances they do not qualify for ,much needed assistance because you simply don’t like the thought!

I wonder why they won’t listen to a thing you say!

The fact that we can’t get anything substantial done due to ppl getting in arguments.

I had a incident with this recently, doing my best n working on a collaboration that was intended t highlight different ethnicities working together feasibly, because the other person just decided he didn’t like my work. Completely botching my attempt.

The spoiled brat attitude that some of you have when some one makes an attempt to make amends, or do something kind for these groups because y’all are such bitches, there is no viable way t please you, because you want t continue t be petty n fight, because drama gets u more hits on YouTube right???

You have to begin the process and open communication and then suggest and educate kindly to ppl who are reaching out.

Again most of the time, it’s just simply uggh, I don’t want this person. How juvenile. 

For these folks that just want t grind ppl into the ground to make them think they will never get up, your logic has no sense. Failure is a part of every major success story, there has t be a way to get up! Ppl that don’t want t give that space, are shitty ppl, you don’t want leaching off you.

Not being able t discuss n debate because ppl are juvenile or cannot explain themselves properly alarms ppl, we are not wanting to fall into communism. Opting as your freedom is to refrain is different, but not allowing debate or disagreement because it’s uncomfortable is silly. Ppl have got t stop associating, disagreement with dis like. You should still be able t work with ppl without bullying or harassment even if you disagree with one another. Administrations not policing hostile work environments, are part of the problem.

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Appreciation and Hunting

Ever since I tried Vegan lifestyle getting a small peta cook book that gave me vegan choices at fast food places, I think more ppl should try it, it's great to broaden you food paletthe.

The biggest reason, appreciation. #Appreciation

It's time for us t stop horking things down without tasting them. Not setting time t enjoy our meals n wonder why we are stressed.

The reality of our situation is.....all those extremist crazy vegan peddlers raving about stuff they have drawn out of proportion n have not considered the actual economy n the way things work in balance,

if the killing presses stopped today, the convert belts stopped. It's banned.

All the meat on the shelves, on the belts would go t waste.

Real hunters, get nourished and nurish their families and replenish what they take from thankfully.

How terrible would it be for the stuff in process t not nourish anyone n further live on? Slaughtered for nothing?

The answer is, Appreciation. No mass corporate over influx of over sized hormone based products. You must replenish n be thankful. Understanding, a thing gave it's life to sustain you, and giving back. Booker T. Washington invented the planting procedure to revive soil by putting back substinance into the soil.

Again sitting down n appreciating n tasting a meal. I can guarantee you after a vegan lifestyle for a month or two, you will appreciate that cheeseburger a lot more.

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

VA Therapy treatment stress and options

I missed a therapy appointment months ago, due to corona and the adjustment, with phone n tele appointments.

we have t wait because they are all booked up, there is no back up option. I waited paitiently going withought treatment for a 2 month span. For my appointment that got bounced around because the provider or va had scheduling issues.

I have no idea if I'll be seen today, which means I can't schedule more, who knows when I'll get another opportunity,

They act like it's my inconsistency, when, in any instance I'm living through coping with my depression by myself.

what d u expect?

There is no back up n there is no option. I'm not being treated, they check off that I am, but I'm not.

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How I Manage my Energy

I'm spiritual because, I can feel energy easily, I'm sensitive. I've always felt close to nature. It's possible I have some native American blood, either way I have great respect for that culture n respecting life n nature. I'm a Christian, so I wear the spiritual armor of Christ. This is God's own spiritual armor that He put on us His believers. Christ inhabits that space, ppl without Christ there is a spiritual space that can be used for possession, it doesn't have t b demonicBut.....they are not allowed with out u consenting or permission. U either have t just not tell them no or invite.I am empathic not just to spirit things, to living ppl more so.It's just my nature t help, t ease, I don't like seeing ppl hurt. 2 of my astrological signs are water. I am 2 water signs crossing. I am a year of the snake a earth snake .I'm a high energy person, I call it being a battery. I say all this because : How I manage my energy.I've sensed things at different times feeding off my energy.I think things come t me for peaceThat is the nature of the recent stuff that has happened t me.My energy is dominated by the Holy Spirit, I have chosen my side. Whatever comes t me needs t be ok with its maker cuz God manages what's around me.If it's bad or negative, idk what happens t it when it comes in contact with God. The human ones I've experienced, no malevolence, I think they were coming t the peace n light. This is a safe healing, restoring, restful space. Letting God manage that, He truly is a strong tower, nothing gets in those walls.But envisioning, those who love you, happiness, joy, light.Paranormal state talks about it, "envisioning a light enfolding you."Cutting off the energy when it feels like its pulling from u without permission, depleting or exhausting you.I personally felt like n I still do. I think there is a darker working person who dislikes me who tried t send negative things to me.They got them t dog pile me n just kept sending them.They came in contact with God. Some got leashed n idk what happened t the others. No one holds my leash but God n I'm not taking it out of His hand t let any person hold it.

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

One Size Fits All

A personal relationship with Christ, is tailored to fit each one of us. How we experience Christ’s help meets each variation of need. 

Some may experience, miraculous, cold turkey results.

The fantastic thing about Christ is, there is hope for the rest of us, that doesn’t work for.

There is no shame in linking arms with physicians, great minds, God, medication, pharmacists, and tackling this thing together from all sides to not let barriers give you a substandard life.

Even in the situations, n there is a lot of us, where it doesn’t just go away. God steps into our daily fight. When it rears it’s head, God can handle it, and will, again and again.  When Christ rose, the law, the veil was torn by God. Separation removed. No thing can separate us from Jesus.

Israel, God’s chosen pious ones. Tried to live under the law. It is not feasible. Man’s goodness. Man’s works cannot save Him.

Grace, the new structure. Allows us to run freely. Fall down, fall off the wagon, get back up n try your best and move forward. As long as you are trying. Even you mistakes n flaws will not be for nothing and will not perminantly harm you. 

Guilt is not of God, it has no place in His presence. God convicts- producing positive growth He never condemns bringing shame n guilt.

Yes, should these come to you, you should operate in Christ’s authority and tell them to leave.

Growing to the point, one day. I don’t want to do that and I don’t have to.

 But God.....

But God will be with you , will love you, in the process. Working a new thing in you so gently from Glory to Glory.

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

Letting ppl in on my addictions today. Drug addicts are so pressured.

There is no help or assistance for other addictions that society has not deemed illegal. These addictions cause unbalances still just the same.

I have never done drugs, but I understand how the urges or body responses may occur or feel, because I used to be badly addicted to sex.

I used masturbation when I felt bad about myself, or stressed or pressured. Masturbation is not bad, but when it's being used to cover up a emotion or problem, something is out of balance. Lack of social interaction, lack of affection, coping with anxiety coping with emotional pain, n no more tools I'm aware of.

I new I could get, I needed it, I felt guilty, hated myself, I knew I was going t do it again n again. N I would feel horrible after each time.

I wasn't addressing the problem that was stressing me out, to need that.

I had some incorrect mindsets, I did not love myself and I had a confidence issue.

My next addiction has been MONEY n spending. It feels nice to purchase things n those things make you happy for a time. Stuff doesn't disappoint or let you down.....but it does or the happiness wears off.

Coming to where I am with basically no budget, preparing t get up, I had a awful time over spending with my groceries a few times.

Every once in a while, I still do. I've gotten sooo much better, at slowing down. Giving myself time to check things, backing up and admitting I made a mistake, I need to remove some things, or bringing a little extra cash, just a minute, I need to go to the car.

These n sooo many more, are hard t detect, and ppl don't care t get in those battles with us ????? Because they aren't life threatening?????? Preventative......ppl....Why should ppl hit rock bottom and lose everything, before ppl help? It doesn't always mean money.

Lines of consequence, a person has financial issues or addictions (one ex.) they get overwhelmed with bills and spinning wheels never catching up. They start drinking cuz they are depressed and whatever hole they are spending for isn't filled.

Ppl will do something, to include worsening the situation about alcohol, but if u don't clear up whats dressing them in the first place, and the spending addiction, it's very likely to continue.

These are the characteristics of regular human addictions and reactions to them. It differs because we are all different, it's case by case, but there are others out there who have experienced these and have no idea what it is or how to cope with it. Or it's a different addiction, same progression of events.

I continue this blog so ppl can learn from what I've been through so maybe some ppl can feel less alone, less like they are abnormal or the only one experiencing this, and less feeling around in the dark. I advocate for more understanding and help with other addiction.

Lastly, I started a Group, NA Safe Haven, a virtual group for addicts , a community of support. I have never done drugs so I am answering the question, "Well how do you know? How can you support and advise ppl that do drugs? You don't know how they feel."

I know this is how i felt experiencing my addiction and I'm sure these things are regular responses to these issues.

Anyone else who wants to get over their barriers and not give their lives to them, come with me.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/298523341204807/?hc_ref=ARQehkgI2cajiSaqEb08cL-2uBVBJaHk3XllmTAGteWKtzS782rsZZ2lxWSKwROCXgQ&__xts__[0]=68.ARDgHXwI1wpPpdRdYDk--rswdD-PiJKw8rfdLfkC1FDgK4lmzyZ9i_HKKBmEd84XThCm8nBTFOKoXNtyMrU_zL8_3X-JlNQOyFOVg8G-NkXvX1iaJAUbOZpwMOxcp7Xr9t5MeycRFnM1E9_axMMDpsd1if4ayKpVv41oZbmCH9lwTT91arBXgUzr6fonqgh3oAOu6DRQI_byYEs0sVE2tmmCYJrFmP-Hq0PRba-ZC1XugNXMsoF1AidzLRqXBSbwJ9S33fjtq6aRywi5TDtpdeNdela5O_B1-nQ3JRMG7XcvvjqMqUSmnqs&__tn__=CH-R

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

I've been needing to get an idea out and I've been playing around with a concept.

One of my ex's swears up n down I cheated. Uses that in circles to other ppl. N the amount that I keep seeing celebr and other especially the "victums" quick to throw shade on reputations.

When are y'all going to understand, everything with ppl is not black n white?

In a relationship, there are 2 ppl. No one person is at fault.

(Abuse is not just physical and none of the other variations are "better")

After a traumatic experience, with my ex, I can personally say other kinder open ppl were tempting, y'all I went to a party with my cousin, I never go t parties. I was social and civil to other ppl n guys.

Also, I had been testing the world of relationships, I did not date in high school. I was using the same dinamic each time n finding myself not happy or feeling trapt or losing interest.

I wasn't taking time to figure out what was best for me, in a area where the men are so insecure, they don't want you exploring.

They want u caught in a situation the only way out is them shaming u cuz u "cheated".

For ex. If you are around some one constantly, you see things about them, they are unhappy, etc. Unless you don't care and you don't pay attention to them.

My stance is....in these scenarios, the guy knows this type of thing isn't what's best for her, it's not making her happy, but he isn't going t advise her t care for herself, cuz he'd rather just keep her in their relationship.

N then all of a sudden "Oh she cheated"

I'm not saying I didn't do things wrong, but his trust was secure. I was in other guys laps, them in my house n bed, and I was still his and I was upfront, and able t b trusted. How many other woman could b trusted as much? N the other guys minded me.

Now, the traditional relationship, does not suit me. I don't like confining anything. If that's the case with other ppl, they need loving ppl t understand and let them be who they are, not confine them in yet another situation, u know they will err, and you get t shame them.

Lots of these want to put pressure so their partner doesn't have space to correct the situation, excpet to give them what they want either way.

If you don't give a person space to be who they are and what's best for them.....your creating a disaster.

If I'm cornered......it is always ok to back up, say no, that is ok......we are in for a mess, but I'm always choosing me. You got t let ppl get out, n you don't have the right to stand in their way.

Did I do something's wrong, yeah, but 1 it wasn't cheating, 2 I was still figuring out who I'm supposed to be and that relationship was not giving me the space to do that, nor was I happy.

This ties in with. I've heard G-Eazy or his fans or both shun "recovery"

I want to explain what I mean by it. Not everyone believes in god, some ppl are more adventurous, and America is the beacon for Hollywood life.

In dealing with depression or failing relationships, it's a compound issue most of the time.

Picking apart those, so you can deal with it to have a better life n self. Better energy, peace, fullfilled self.

Point blank, my friends hate that I'm a over achiever, but they love me, cuz in the dark, I'm sitting beside them telling them, "failure is a part of success, everyone does it. Edison failed 2,000 times resulting in some other useful inventions before he succeeded with a light bulb." People that create art, ride motocross, n skateboards, understand that.

I am not going to sit there n watch ppl I care about spiral out of control. Live the way you want, sure, let's find a safe way for you to experience that. You controlling it, not the other way around.

That is why I promote positive speaking and meditation processes. Forming good habits.

These things are not confined to Christianity, but healthy mindsets. Coping techniques.

The amount of ppl that want t kick especially these when they are down, n fate is already stacked against them, is horrendous, and I want to give ppl tools to insolate them against the world.

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

Tumblr is flipping out saying I can’t edit this post because it was made in the app not online, this is the same way I’ve used it the whole time it’s mobile online on my phone as well, I don’t have the app on either

So I guess this is going t get shared more since tumblr won’t allow me t add to my post traditionally. 

These ppl are nosy, try to control how you function in your home, like it’s theirs. They honestly think that because it’s their property, it’s theirs. 

The be nosy, they try to make you feel guilty about living your regular life in your walls n boundaries. 

And when they don’t get the response they are looking for, they don’t think it’s necessary to do their job anymore. Or substandard service. 

You better kiss these folks ass or they will pull all kinds of strings t make your life hard.

The male landlord, while I was going t trial for inability t pay rent, came to my door and told me to my face, ““you better do this what we are asking. Cuz it isn’t going to get better than this, we actually work with you.” I got the implication he’s threatening I go back t homelessness. 

This is the text messages btw me n my landlord. Me asking, because I'm trying to be courteous to a person entering my home.

I asked nice and she seems to not understand, I was not asking at all.

She decided for the technician, wether he was comfortable or not with large animals.

Either way I asked her t tell him, she doesn't give me the option to tell him.

I'm beyond tired of these type of ppl who, if you butt hurt them, it means they don have to do their job or you get sub standard service.

She decided, n probably didn't even tell him.

[angelicdemonx13-blog]

I love this movie

Cinderella (1950) dir. Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske