angeliquefairchild - Tumblr blog

[angeliquefairchild]

As vezes eu queria poder voltar no tempo, não pra mudar atitudes (bom talvez algumas) e sim pra poder reviver o que eu tive medo na epoca... Poder encarar o mundo de braços abertos, poder aproveitar o que eu achei que nunca ia acabar (e que na verdade acabou da pior forma possivel). Eu me arrependo de muitas coisas na minha vida, mas meu maior arrpendimento é o medo, ele me paraliza, me faz retornar a lugares profundamente desesperadores. Se não fosse pelo medo eu viveria mais, aproveitaria mais, sorriria mais, talvez até me arriscaria mais

Mas eu não sou assim! Eu vivo com medo. medo do meu passado e da dor que ele me causou, medo do meu presente e dos problemas que eu tenho que enfrentar sozinha, medo do meu futuro e a grande incerteza que ele me traz... eu demorei muito pra perceber que o meu maior medo é o prórpio medo

[angeliquefairchild]

ultimamente eu tenho tido recaidas do meu ex relacionamento, tem dias q eu só queria poder ficar na cama chorando.... mas eu n fico, to tentando seguir em frente e a terapia tem me ajudado mto! Só que esse mês ta complicado demais, eu n sei pq mas quase tudo me lembra ele, nem mesmo consigo bjar outras pessoas sem lembrar do jeito q ele me bjava, nada parece o mesmo e eu n consigo falar p ngm o quanto ainda me dói n ter mais ele na minha vida e saber que eu n fui nada p ele, só um passar de tempo... saber q ele literalmente me apagou da vida dele e seguiu como se eu nunca nem tivesse existido p ele me dói, pq eu amei, eu me entreguei, n me parece justo q ele possa seguir a vida sem marcas e eu tenha q aguentar toda essa dor em mim

[angeliquefairchild]

Time has passed and I'm SLOWLY moving on, It's hard and weird. There are days I don't even think abou u, but there are others my heart remains in pain all day thinking about the good memories, and I fins myself wishing to see u, on the bus, on your way to work, in a party... Even tho I know I won't! Maybe that's for the best, not seeing u ever again, maybe it'll help me forget about u once and for all

[angeliquefairchild]

:(

I miss my home. Not the place itself, but the person I considered to be my home... Over the past months I've slowly lost him. He drifted apart and CHOSE to leave me. What hurts the most in when others tell me to move on "It wasn't that important and you you need to continue to live" they don't understand that I am living, but I'm living with a hole inside of me. I go to parties, to coffee with friends, I study and go to college, but everything I do is done with my heart being in its most painfull version. I miss him, not the texts or the hang outs, I miss HIM, having HIM in my life, feelling his presence in my days (unlike people tell me I just miss having someone to share my life with, no! I miss having HIM to share my days with, to feel confortable with, to trust, to go to when I felt sad and alone) so that's why I'm here, writing this, because I miss him and this is a replacement so I don't text him (can't break no contact). He seems to be doing just fine without having me in his life and I feel like I'm falling apart. That doesn't seem fair to me

[angeliquefairchild]

Things went bad... Here I am writing the thing I was most afraid of, his feelings are a mistery to me

I feel as if he is always ready to dump me, as if he has better things to do than to be with me; he doesn't even talk to me

Nothing hurts my heart like loving more than beeing loved

[angeliquefairchild]

Open Letter

Sometimes I find myself wishing I could just say what comes into my mind and not worry about what others might think. Really express my feelings and not be afraid of what they really mean. Maybe he’ll think I’m crazy or needy, maybe worse…

Never had those feelings before, it’s fucking scary. 

Should I let myself fall for this? Should I step back? What if it all goes down, will I be able to recover?

No…

I won’t say anything until he does… 

But I want him to know, he’s alL I can think about, morning, noon, night. Where he is…my mind is. 

I think of a future with someone for the first time EVER and I can't even tell him

I’m scared of my feelings but mostly I’m scared of his reaction to them

My friends love it, they say I deserve it, this happiness that I haven’t felt in a while, maybe a type of happiness I’ve never felt before, but I can’t help to wonder…. Will it last? 

I finish this, with a love letter. Perhaps I can't tell you how I feel, but I can write it down… here…where you won’t see it.

I think I love you ??? Any second you’re near my heart beats SO FAST, my mouth can’t stop smiling at you, (it’s kind of annoying really), the way you are always thinking on doing what’s best for me, you wanna make me feel better all the time (for the record you do!! EVERY DAY YOU MAKE ME LAUGH LIKE AN IDIOT). Your stupid jokes make my heart so warm, and when you tell me you like me…I swear… Feels like the world stops, I wait for you to text me all the time and when you do it makes me so happy :) 

I miss you, fuck’s sake I miss you so much it kinda hurts, most times I find myself wishing I could hug and kiss you all day long and that would make a perfect day, just you and me…

I can’t find any more words to put in here as to express what I feel and therefore I’ll put the line of my favorite book (that I already sent you, but had to change a little cause I was worried about saying “love” to you)

““I cannot make speeches… If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me”

[angeliquefairchild]

sinta falta da garota que eu era, de sempre enxergar a bondade nas pessoas, de olhar o lado positivo de cada problema, ter esperança num futuro. hoje não sou mais essa garota e sinto falta dela, queria poder olhar pra ela e perguntar qual o segredo pra manter essa fé no mundo e tentar me reerguer.

- poeticidas

[angeliquefairchild]

Barry Keoghan as Druig in ETERNALS

[angeliquefairchild]

Akeno <3

GOSSIP GIRL ─ Aki Menzies in "Parentsite"

[angeliquefairchild]

Druk (Thomas Vinterberg, 2020)

[angeliquefairchild]

Can you draw mini Ronnie and Ginny? Anything really dealing with them :)

I gotchu✨💗

A different day, same situation:

Oh, and she does.

Can I get some F’s in the chat for ronnie😔✊

[angeliquefairchild]

1x01 // Game of Thrones Season 8 Trailer

[angeliquefairchild]

prayer circle for Doctor Stephen Strange 🙏🕯️

[angeliquefairchild]

any herondale reading this book

[angeliquefairchild]

[angeliquefairchild]

the aesthetic is just >>>>>>>> P E R F E C T

Love is a dagger. It’s a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It’s beautiful. Until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it… It isn’t real. Love is an imaginary dagger.

LOKI (2021) | Episode 3 - Lamentis

[angeliquefairchild]

i'd die for loki

-by me