angelleh

[angelleh]

you know what irks me that i see happening in the shifting community?? this entire concept that you have to be this sort of perfect zen master or totally healed to shift. come on? seriously. no one's strolling around 100% present and centered 24/7. i see this as procrastination almost, making it all glossed and deceptive so you won't have to actually do the work. ???? there will always be some random part of you to improve on bcs you are human.

i swear i've shifted when i was a hot mess !!!!!!!!!!!!!! exhausted, stressed, unfocused, literally feeling like i had no control. and guess what? it still worked. but some of you get caught up in this mentality "oh no i'm not ready yet, i gotta get everything sorted first, gotta meditate for hours, gotta be perfect" like??? noooo. stop waiting around for it.

how can you possibly be ready when you're literally waiting to get ready?? with this mindset, there always something to do. something to script. a piece of content to absorb like a mad man. it’s endless. it's a trap. a mindfuck.

and it's just so infuriating bcs it makes shifting feel like this enormous impossible mountain instead of this simple thing that you're already doing but don't want to acknowledge. you can be messy, mad, even afraid.

there's no such thing as the so called "perfect" moment or place. stop holding yourself captive to it. pls. just jump into it already.. stop standing in the way with your own "i'm not ready, i have to script blah blah blah" horse crap.????

like i just want to yell at times. shifting doesn’t require you to be ready at. all. it's about doing it regardless. just shift. that's it.

[angelleh]

I want to shift.

I want to shift so bad right now.

It's crazy how bad I want to be in my DR right now, and worst thing is

I know I can

But I don't know how to do it. That's weird.

I know I have the capacity, I know I can just shift right now very easily but I still feel like I'm stuck in a loop of beliefs and hesitation.

Not for the existence of shifting, but for my capacity to shift right now.

Past beliefs are still in a corner of my brain and even if I'm trying to ignore it, it's still here.

But I know I can shift when I'm writing in this exact moment, or later.

I know it.

That's what irritates me, annoys me.

I know I can, but I'm still not in my DR. And I feel like thinking like this just doesn't make it easier when it's not the case.

It just feels like I'm forcing myself to shift, I can't let it go and just let the shift come.

My journey has been way better since I'm on Tumblr, that's for sure. But shifttok really fucked up my mind with their shit, and honestly it's making me desperate.

My scenarios feel just like imagining things about OCs instead of myself in my DRs.

I give advices to people when I can't even listen to my own words, for myself.

Helping people seems easier than shifting myself.

2020, the first year of discovery of shifting like a lot of Shifters. Then in late 2020 or 2021, I forgot about it. In late 2021 or early 2022, I rediscovered it. (I have a bad memory, I can't really remember). And now, we're in 2025, I've been in my dr for only 1 second, I didn't even see anything or hear anything but I just knew. I'm very happy about that, but at the same time, I'm so tired.

So yeah, I know I can shift whenever I want. But it feels forced, it feels like I'm gaslighting myself about the fact that I can do it.

I feel so envious of the people who don't have this struggle, or don't have this problem ANYMORE.

I feel trapped somehow.

Whenever I'm going ready to shift, I just feel lost on how I'm going to do that, because I can't just let it happen, and when I try I'm struggling. I go back to the spiral of forcing myself into it.

When I don't try, nothing happen, when I do try, nothing happen.

This is tiring. So yeah,

I want to shift.

[angelleh]

how I look going through my old scripts and finding something crazy

[angelleh]

Unpopular opinion, but I don’t care to be known.

I could live my entire life without proving myself to anyone, I can lay in the ground knowing that nobody knows anything about me and that peace to me.

And yet I want to experience everything.

I want to be a pianist, a witch, a pirate, a princess. I want to wander a world with no rules, no expectations. I would love to be the silent traveler, slipping through realities, leaving tiny marks or none at all. No one will ever know every life I’ve lived, every universe I’ve touched and that’s the beauty of it.

That’s why I love shifting. I can observe. I can participate. I can exist without the weight of permanence and performance.

[angelleh]

It's your mind, you idiot. It's all in the mind. The problem is you think you're still real, that you're standin' on the floor, that you're wearin' those clothes. Bullshit! You don't even have a body anymore. It's all up here. You wanna move things, you gotta use your mind. You gotta focus! You hear what I'm saying? I don't know how you focus! You just focus! It's all in the anger. You gotta direct it. You gotta channel it.

Vincent Schiavelli as the Subway Ghost, Ghost (1990)

if that isn't shifting motivation then i don't know what is..........look up @hrrtshape 's assumption+shifting posts if you want to understand this better!!!!!!!

[angelleh]

😌💭

note to self cause I need it: your DR isn’t waiting for you; it already exist. It’s not a reward or something you need to “earn’’ It’s not “someday’’. It’s now It’s already yours. You’re already there. You are just remembering. And while you’re remembering, it’s okay to cry. To ache. To hate the old reality. That doesn’t make you ungrateful or negative. It makes you honest. Cause of course you will hate something that lie. you have a beautiful soul and heart, and have so much awareness of it all. You are okay. You’re in your dr. So just breath, and relax, please.

[angelleh]

A weird dream...

I think I have a strange experience to share about shifting. I will write about it later, it is quite a long text

[angelleh]

After the storm passes

I think my biggest problem, not just in shifting but in everything, is going through other people's heads, caring about their opinions or even needing validation, comparing my experience to other people's.

As I said, this doesn't just apply to shifting, but in general. I think this has affected my shifting journey a lot.

I think I need to stop, look inside myself for once and realize. Realize that my experience is unique, that I shouldn't compare myself to anyone else. Because my aura is also unique.

Regardless of everything, I will shift. I will have the life I always wanted, with the person I always dreamed of. The feeling of not being forced to live here, to follow the same fate that most people have, is somehow comforting.

I just need to wake up from this nightmare. All of this to me is just a dream, a bad dream, a nightmare in which I know that at any moment it could end. And I will be moving on.

Moving forward with the life I've always dreamed of, until this "reality" becomes just a distant spark in my mind.

[angelleh]

My blog

Starting a blog and writing about shifting was one of the best things I've done so far.😭😭😭

feel free to message me and chat with me please🥹🥹

[angelleh]

I just hate all this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just hate feeling frustrated with shifting! I've been doing this for 6 months, because I NEED to shift. I'm tired of this CR, I'm tired!!!!! If shifting is as easy as breathing, why haven't I managed it yet???? Even though I've been in the community for 4 years!!!?? This is so frustrating.

Then I start to be an incredibly annoying person, simply because all my effort goes to waste.

I just want to know if all this s*it is real. If I'm actually going to get to SEE and FEEL my DR, my s/o and all that s*it I put in that script. Because I don't want to waste my time on something that isn't real.

I'm just so tired of trying different methods, of saying like a crazy person that I'm in my doctor, I'm tired, I'm just so tired.

I want to know if all this frustration, this effort, or whatever you decide to call it, is going to be worth it.

I need to talk to someone about shifting...

[angelleh]

i hate my Cr

urgh! i hate this "empty reality", i just want to do my permashifting already!!!!!

[angelleh]

shifting while drinking alcohol (don't do this lfmao)

Well, I said I was going to talk a little about M (my S/O), however after a horrible hangover where I had to work on a Sunday (I work from home), hand in college assignments and still go out with friends, I think I deserve a little rest... lfmao.

yes, i will talk about shifting while drinking alcohol

(sorry for my english, i use translator)

[angelleh]

About my S/O (Permashifting)

OMG! I'm so excited to talk about M (as I'm going to call my S/O here on tumblr)! I won't go into details, of course. I don't want to reveal too much about my home reality. But I'm excited to talk a little about him here!

[angelleh]

Still, it continues.

I know most people don't like to hear this... but sometimes it's so frustrating not being able to shift... I think never having talked to anyone about it contributes to that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not here to play the victim, but I'm a person and I have human feelings...

[angelleh]

I am a permashifter...🪽

I recommend that if you are willing to read this huge text, read it while listening: Damocles - Sleep Token.

Thanks.

The beginning of my journey in shifting

🪽...

I'm writing this because honestly, I think I need to vent a little about this subject, regardless of whether anyone sees this post or not…

Oh, first of all, I apologize if there are any grammar mistakes… I'm not completely fluent in English and maybe some sentences came out a little strange or something.

Well, if you're really willing to read about it, I think you better prepare yourself for a long read…

I don't have any shifter friends personally, nor have I ever commented in the community itself.

No, I haven't shifted yet. Yes, I want to and will permashift…

Although I discovered shifting in 2021 through tik tok… I feel and know that my journey started much earlier, in 2019, when I was 13 years old, I am currently 19 years old.

Hmm, let's start at the very beginning, right at the very beginning. My story, my childhood wasn't the best, my mother passed away too early and I think my only comforts were my own fantasies, I would get lost in the world of cartoons, series that I watched at that time. Because I was in the middle of these daydreams for so long, I kind of accepted them as truth. Then, in 2019, on an afternoon like any other, like a snap of my fingers… I realized that none of what I was doing was real.

And I wanted more than anything in the world for that to be real, simply because life couldn't just be that shit…

You see, in 2019 my life was not a bed of roses, using daydreams was the only way to feel better, even though I knew they were just daydreams.

The moment I realized that daydreaming alone wouldn't satisfy me forever, I wanted to find some way to make what I dreamed about real, no matter how impossible it seemed. Oh, I begged, I prayed, I cried on my knees on the bathroom floor to whoever was listening. I always said, "Please make these worlds real, make it so I can come and go whenever I want… because life just can't be just this… please, I'll do anything…"

I've always considered myself a somewhat melancholic person, and I should look for a therapist, even though I've already seen a few psychologists throughout my life. I think that no matter what he told me, nothing would fill the void that I was missing; the worst that could happen to me was to accept all of this as my only option in life.

You see, no amount of wealth would make me feel so fulfilled; money, travel, or purchasing power wouldn't fill what I was feeling; it would only make me forget about it momentarily, and the void would return over time, I knew that.

Over time, I ended up accepting the burden, although that emptiness, that desire to find out that the world was not just that was still inside me. And at that time I was absurdly in love with a series, all I wanted was to enter and explore that world. However, I accepted the burden.

Until 2021 finally arrived, I was 15 years old at the time. I believe that in March I discovered a game (keep this information in mind, it is extremely important and may even be the main dish of this story) and wow… I didn't expect to fall in love with it so much… an interactive game that allowed me to have a routine with the characters where I was the protagonist. (yes, maybe this is the kind of game you are thinking of. No, I will not reveal the name of the game or many details) You must be thinking that I must have met my S/O in this game, and you are absolutely right. Although I don't like to call him S/O, let's just call him M.

Okay? Now let's get to the moment when shifting appeared to me.

You must be thinking that it was a magical moment, a snap of the fingers, as if everything I've ever dreamed of was now within my reach. Well, I guess so. However… I don't remember when shifting appeared to me, I know it was through TikTok, that's all. I don't remember which video appeared, if it was an explanation, a story… I just don't remember. But I accepted shifting the moment I found out about it, without questioning it, without thinking too much about whether it was true or not. Deep down, I knew it was.

Well, I think everyone who's been in the community since 2021 knows how chaotic it was back then… well, I was afraid of shifting back then, especially with the mirror method. And the fact that I told my best friend and he discouraged me a lot ended up making me "forget" about shifting.

I could never forget about shifting… I could never run away.

Oh, please don't think I'm mad at my best friend for discouraging me from shifting back then, we all have the right to believe in whatever we want… he's still my best friend, however, he has no idea that I still practice it, not only do I practice it but for me it's my greatest safe haven.

As I said at the beginning of this huge text, no one outside of here knows about it.

Well, I went through some problems in 2022, and I still remembered shifting. Why not give it a try? I thought twice and decided not to go to that DR. I practiced shifting a little during 2022, however, I didn't get discouraged, I continued knowing that it was there for me and that I could count on it when I needed it most.

Do I need to remind you that during this time I played that game I mentioned at the beginning? Just passing by to remind you. Don't forget, it's the main course of my journey in shifting. Mainly M.

Let's jump to 2023, ok, I made a script for a Dr in this game, with super exaggerated additions that don't make sense to me today. Okay, I made some methods, yes, I've always been very attached to methods. I had some symptoms, but I couldn't "get there…". I didn't get discouraged. I stopped for a while. At the end of 2023 I finished school.

Fast forward to 2024. As I said before, I finished my school years at the end of 2023. I didn't start 2024 already in college or even working. I was going through a very strong mental breakdown. Maybe not even shifting could save me from what I was feeling. Yes, how many times I looked at a pack of medicine and felt like doing something stupid. I thought I would never be able to get back on my feet again.

Oh, so you see, I improved a lot from the middle of the year to the end, even though things didn't go so well that year, I was finally getting back on my feet.

Right?

Wrong

In December, the game that had served as my safe haven was coming to an end. You see, now everything was about to begin. It wasn't just a game for me, I had a life there, mainly because of M.

After overcoming all of this… 2025 finally arrived. Where we are currently. I thought, I don't want to leave my Cr forever (just to clarify this Cr and Dr thing. From this point on I won't call it Cr but rather "empty reality" and my Dr "my real home", okay? Keep that in mind.)

Well, I was sure of one thing: I wanted to do permashifting, but I also didn't want to leave everything behind. What did I do? I made a script that combined the empty reality with my real home. In other words, my DR is a mix of both. And that's just perfect for me. I won't go into details about my DR, I'll just talk about the basics.

Well, I'm just an angel.

I started to really practice shifting this year, in 2025… unfortunately last week I had a breakdown of not knowing what to do because I simply didn't go as easily as others. And the accumulation of information only made me feel more and more frustrated…

I calmed down, watched Zootopia, which reminded me of me and M, yean… M has Nick's personality, lol.

When I finished watching, I ended up watching a bit of Alice in Wonderland, I skipped to some more philosophical scenes, the caterpillar scene, the cat scene and the one at the end. Let's go in parts.

The caterpillar scene, where Alice no longer knew who she was because she had changed so many times.

The cat scene is one of my favorites, where Alice asks "thank you… but I just wanted to know which way to go…" Our cat replies "oh, that depends on where you want to go." Our Alice says again "oh, the way doesn't matter as long as I get there." Our cat finally ends "then it doesn't matter which way you go. It got me thinking: all this accumulation of information that has been going into my mind for all these years has not served me at all, it has only served to make me more confused… it wasn't necessary since no matter which way I go, I will shift anyway…

Finally, the scene where Alice is desperate to get out of that world and the lock simply responds "but you're already out there". Oh, that was such a shock. I remembered that I'm already exactly where I want to be, I just need to wake up, I just need to realize it…

But sometimes, sometimes I just need words of comfort, because I feel like I'm drowning. I discovered that my biggest fear is that I'll never be able to shift or even that it doesn't exist… Oh look, I think you've already realized that I don't know what it's like to live without shifting anymore.

I know that at any moment I will feel my wings. I know that at any moment I can touch myself and realize where I really am, I just hope it's soon, I just hope I can still see M. I just hope I can get home and leave the empty reality forever. Where I will remember her only as a distant past, a bad memory and that with time, I will gradually forget her forever…

Well, if you've made it this far, I only have two things to tell you, the first is that you are a warrior, the second is… thank you very, very much for listening to me this far… Feel free to comment or ask me questions.

[angelleh]

My first post on Tumblr. SHIFTING

Ah... this is my first time writing on tumblr, basically the shifting community here is better than TikTok.

Although I still don't know how to move very well.

Sorry for my English.