angrywrasslenerd

[angrywrasslenerd]

Week in Review – World Open Block Finals, 4/4-4/5

A Block

On commentary, Jessica Beauland noted at the beginning of the 4/4 A Block Final show that UBL’s THRASH Ogawa was in attendance. When questioned, he apparently said that he “wanted to see the place that made a man out Kazuo Saji.” For better or worse, if Ogawa wanted to see what SWA was about, warts and all, he could hardly have picked a better show than 4/4 in Seattle.

Jake Adair really came back in the latter part of the tournament this year. Too bad it’s too little, too late for him points-wise, but his victory this week over Adrian Rose was a testament to his determination, craftiness, and ability to get a win from any position. For most of this match, Rose looked as dominant as ever, bullying Jake all around the ring with his blend of power and brawling skill, but Jake just would not die, and every time Rose looked ready to put him away, Jake found the way out. This was almost like watching one of the Adrian Rose vs. Mark Cabello matches from GPWA, and Jake may have finally found that key rival that gets him to really push himself. If he could pull this sort of match out in those clutch moments when he really needs them, instead of only when playing spoiler, Jake could really make something of himself. And given the fact that Jake wasn’t able to get a decisive victory here, instead resorting to a handful of Rose’s shorts on the roll-up, and given how absolutely livid Rose looked after the match, these two definitely still have unfinished business with each other. Keep an eye on this matchup in future tournaments.

Speaking of Mark Cabello, he also finished the tournament with a strong comeback, stuffing Ultimo Cielo’s momentum and denying him the dominant point lead that would’ve made him a sure-fire block winner. Taking a different tack from others in the tournament, Cabello made no attempt at all to stop Cielo from reaching into his bag of dogshit, preferring to just let the moron pull out whatever dirty trick he wanted and then counter it. Cielo mostly had a good tournament this year, but he looked like a damn fool in this match, and Mark never seemed seriously threatened, aside from a brief period after Cielo managed a shot with the brass knuckles. Mark got his revenge for that, too, pulling up the former champion’s mask and getting a near-fall off of a roll-up as Cielo fumbled to cover his face. Maybe not the best move for GPWA/SWA relations, but the crowd sure loved it. The finish saw Cabello counter out of an attempted Angel Killer and transition smooth as butter straight into the Incredible Brainbender. A dominant performance for Cabello in front of a very pro-GPWA crowd.

Meanwhile, Paul Lambert and Aaron Wolff defied everyone’s expectations by eschewing the kind of scientific, mat-based match everyone would’ve expected of them and having a striking battle. To be sure, there were still some well-applied holds in this match, but the lion’s share of it was a stand-up fight, with the suplexes and holds functioning more as the exclamation points when one of them got momentum and looked to finish. Even the finish was an unusual one; instead of going for a Danielson Lock or Brainbuster Lariat, Paul took a rare jaunt up to the top rope for a vicious double stomp to claim the pinfall. I don’t know what got into these two men, but this match was exciting as hell, so let’s hope it gets into them again.

Given the quality of the matches up until that point in the evening, the two young men in the main event had big shoes to fill. People forget because VOLT Tsukuda has spent so much more of his young career in SWA, but he and Bobby Wilder are about the same age, with Bobby being about six months older. Each man bears on his shoulders a heavy load of expectations for the future of SWA. I���m already cringing in advance thinking about the shitty hot takes I’m going to read over the next week as the knuckle-draggers go straight from screaming about how VOLT and Bobby are being held back and just need a chance to calling them overrated. I need you shitwits to read the words I am typing now very. Fucking. Carefully: FUCK. YOU. I see your shit a mile away, nobody needs you, and if you died tomorrow none of our lives would change in any way. This was it. Years from now when we’re watching Wilder vs. Tsukuda in front of a packed house for the Openweight Championship at a PPV, we’ll all remember this match as the moment where it all started. A seesaw battle between two versatile wrestlers equally comfortable in the air and on the mat. A knock-down, drag-out brawl between two guys with something to prove. If you’ve already seen this match, you don’t need me to say anything. If you haven’t, fucking WATCH IT dipshit. Match of the night. Match of the tournament. Match of the year. Leave me the fuck alone. I need to rethink my ratings for every single other match I’ve ever seen.

Okay. Whew. Needed a minute there. I’m back. The points were a mess at this point, and we ended up going down to tiebreakers to decide the block. With Paul Lambert, VOLT Tsukuda, and Bobby Wilder all at 8 points, the tiebreakers brought the block to VOLT. How he intends to follow-up on this once-in-a-lifetime performance is anyone’s guess.

A Block FINAL Point Totals:

Adrian Rose: 7pts

Paul Lambert: 8pts

Mark Cabello 5pts

VOLT Tsukuda: 8pts

Bobby Wilder: 8pts

Aaron Wolff: 6pts

Jake Adair: 6pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: VOLT Tsukuda def. Bobby Wilder via PINFALL in 29:52

B Block:

B Block felt maybe a little disappointing compared to A Block this week. Everything was solid, and I have no major complaints about the matches we got (well, for the most part – we’ll get there), but after the hype and fury of Friday, Saturday’s show felt a little subdued. In fairness, it would’ve been all but impossible to follow up the A Block Final. Clint Oliver and Samael Tangaroa started us off with a match that was. Y’know. It was fine. Not bad. Clint must really be feeling it at this point after the wars he’s endured in this year’s tournament, and Samael was coming off of that hellish fight with fucking Fabio last week, and given how badly both of them must be feeling the wear and tear at this point, they put on a pretty good little match. That said, after the explosive performances Clint put in earlier in the tournament, it kind of felt like he was just playing it safe here, suckering Samael into his guard to tap the giant out with a gogoplata choke.

Adam Nishimura, meanwhile, was feeling no such tendencies. If anything, he was the opposite of playing it safe against Carlos Ortega-Reyes, repeatedly taunting and daring arguably the most dangerous man in SWA to do his worst. Like only a fucking psychopath can, Carlos responded with pure violence. Miraculously, this match did not spill out into the crowd, but it absolutely tore apart the ringside area as the two men rammed each other into ring posts and barricades. Things got seriously out of hand when Carlos reached under the ring looking for something, but was shocked to pull out Brandon Kennedy, hanging onto Carlos’ railroad spike! Carlos scuffled with Brandon over the spike, but Kennedy faked him out by gesturing like he was going for the mist then scampered away, spike in-hand. This set Nishimura up for the victory, but he still seemed unsatisfied, again grabbing the house mic after the match and calling out Kazuo Saji. Seeing as how Saji is probably still recovering from his title match with Kennedy, and trying to get ready for his next defense, which is definitely not going to be against Nishimura based on his point total, he’s just going to have to stew on that one for a bit.

Things took a turn for the troubling with the next match, where Kyle Sieras ran into the dumptruck full of manure that is Fabio motherFUCKing Silva. Well, every Fabio match is troubling in some way, usually because you’re worried he’s going to fuck something up and there’s a concern that it might be his opponent that gets hurt and not him, but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is that Kyle Sieras’ motivation seemed to ebb and flow through this match, and he seemed more frustrated than fiery. As I mentioned before, usually these matches where both competitors are mathematically out and it’s just down to pride feel kind of special, but in this case it was more like watching a guy try to wrestle a mop and getting mad at it. Kyle’s made multiple overtures to Fabio in the past to try to get him to reconsider his legacy and path in the industry, but they always seem to fall on deaf ears. Maybe that’s what he was pissed off about? Either way, Kyle pulled off the win by Sieras Business here to finish at 6 points, but even victory didn’t seem to satisfy him. Maybe we’ll hear from him soon.

While the main event of Friday’s A Block final was a battle for the future, B Block’s main event final was a battle of main event stars who’ve both been away from the Championship for a while. Armel St. Martin and El Rey Dorado are both big stars in the prime of their careers, but El Rey Dorado last laid hands on the SWA Openweight Championship in 2017, and it’s been even longer for Armel. Both men were extremely motivated here at the possibility of making their way back to the top of the big show, and that set the pace of the match we got. Armel was a nonstop dynamo of complex lucha submissions and high-flying, and El Rey was always only a step behind with a big throw or devastating lariat. Much like Armel St. Martin vs. Kazuo Saji, Armel St. Martin vs. El Rey Dorado is one of those rivalries that never gets old, and to my delight, we actually got a clean fight here. Armel spent more of this match in the driver’s seat than not, but he just couldn’t seem to clinch that crucial Red Dragon he needed for the finish. As we got deeper into the match, El Rey got more and more into his comfort zone, and he slowly but surely managed to turn the momentum around, and eventually, Armel just ran out of counters.

That brought us, once again, to tiebreakers. With Armel, El Rey, and Samael all at 8 points, the B Block ultimately went to a victorious El Rey Dorado. Next week, VOLT Tsukuda and El Rey Dorado face off in the World Open final in SWA’s hometown of Portland. It’s hard to call this one. Both VOLT and El Rey were the outside chances to make it to the final at this time last week, and I had my money on an Adrian Rose vs Armel St. Martin final. Either way, Kazuo Saji has his work cut out for him at Aftermath.

B Block FINAL Point Totals:

Armel St. Martin 8pts

Fabio Silva 6pts

Adam Nishimura 7pts

Clint Oliver 7pts

Samael Tangaroa 8pts

Carlos Ortega-Reyes 6pts

Kyle Sieras 6pts

El Rey Dorado 8pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: El Rey Dorado def. Armel St. Martin via PINFALL in 23:26

[angrywrasslenerd]

Week in Review – World Open Week Four 3/27-3/28

A Block

This point in the World Open is always a pain in the ass to try to muddle through the standings of, especially in a year like this one, where the points are so close. Other than the obvious elimination of Mark Cabello and Jake Adair last week, everybody in the block ended this week with at least 6 points and no more than 8 points, so everything at this point is going to come down to a tangled knot of tiebreakers. That said, there were some definite upsets this week that might throw off some people’s predictions, most notably VOLT Tsukuda suffering a tough loss to Aaron Wolff, keeping Wolff just barely alive in the standings while seriously damaging VOLT’s momentum going into the final night of block competition next week. This is especially frustrating because, well. We’ll get there shortly.

Meanwhile, Ultimo Cielo reminded everyone that, as good of a wrestler as he can be when he tries, his greatest skill is really in being a fucking asshole. From the moment his match with Adrian Rose started, Cielo was 100% classic Murderer’s Row Fucking Bullshit this week, accusing Rose of fucking with his mask to distract the ref from his own hair-pulling, pulling off turnbuckle pads and baiting Rose into charging into the corner, throwing chairs into the ring so that the ref wouldn’t see his brass knuckles, the works. It would’ve been even worse if it weren’t for VOLT Tsukuda. I told you we’d get there. When Brandon Kennedy ran in from the crowd, looking to add to the fuckfest, VOLT came out of fucking nowhere and beat seven shades of shit out of him. I’ve rewatched this match three times and I’m still not 100% sure where VOLT was hiding, but the wild brawl he had with Kennedy at ringside probably contributed to his loss later in the night, and to top it all off, Cielo still fucking won the goddamn match. If VOLT wants to make good on his promise to more aggressively take on Murderer’s Row and the Lords of Desolation, he’s got to be smarter about it than this.

Elsewhere on the card, Mark Cabello and Jake Adair, both mathematically eliminated from the tournament at this point, fought purely for pride. This was a war of two canny counter-wrestlers, and it was a damn treat to watch. Somehow these matches always mean a little extra to me, knowing that there’s nothing else on the line and these guys are fighting just for pride and for the crowd. Both of these guys had clearly done their homework on each other, and we saw probably every possible way to counter out of both DARE and the Incredible Brainbender that exist, and probably some that didn’t exist before this week. If you’re a sicko for those outta nowhere finishes, this one’s for you. Hell of a performance by both men, an impressive win for Jake Adair, and probably would’ve been my match of the week for A Block were it not for the main event.

Going into the tournament, a lot of people had Paul Lambert vs. Bobby Wilder circled as one to watch. Well, consider your expectations met and then some. Paul clearly came into this with something to prove after his loss to VOLT Tsukuda last week, and Bobby wasn’t about to give up the momentum he’d built. Even senior referee Nadine Mathis had trouble keeping up with the lightning-fast pace of this absolute showcase of technical wrestling, as Paul pitted his old-school Hart-style Canadian grappling against Bobby’s modern British hybrid style. This is the sort of match that honestly might be too much for the more casual wrestling fan to follow, but if you, like me, are a detail-obsessed nerd, you can’t ask for much better. And what really impressed me is that neither of these men ever left the ring or went for a rope break even once. This was about sheer resilience, willpower, and killer instinct, with both men delivering all three things in spades. Goddamn what a match, and what a win for Bobby Wilder.

So where does that leave us, going into next week? Your most likely winners at this point are the top 3 points-wise, Adrian Rose, Bobby Wilder, and Ultimo Cielo, but it’s still too early to count out VOLT Tsukuda and Aaron Wolff as well, though Wolff’s chances are slim at this point. Paul is eliminated, near as I can tell, with no clear path forward thanks to Bobby and VOLT both having a tiebreaker over him. That’s still pretty wide open though, with 4 guys still definitely having a shot going into the block finals. It’ll be interesting to see how next week shakes out.

A Block Point Totals:

Adrian Rose 7pts

Paul Lambert 6pts

Mark Cabello 3pts

VOLT Tsukuda 6pts

Bobby Wilder 8pts

Ultimo Cielo 8pts

Aaron Wolff 6pts

Jake Adair 4pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: Bobby Wilder def. Paul Lambert by SUBMISSION in 20:22

B Block

I think Armel St. Martin took my comments about his match with Samael earlier in the tournament being run-of-the-mill personally. Since then, he’s flown up to 8 points with style, racking up wins left and right and looking great doing it. This week, he did it yet again, staying just that one crucial step ahead of disaster against Carlos Ortega-Reyes. I thought for sure Ortega-Reyes had him with the STG late in the match, but Armel is stronger and tougher than people give him credit for, and was able to drag the larger man to the ropes, avoid the follow-up lariat, and nail a signature frog splash for the win.

Speaking of people taking my comments personally, every time I criticize Kyle Sieras for the lack of fire he’s shown over the last few years, he seems to bounce back specifically to make me a liar. This week, he spoiled Clint Oliver’s chances of making it to the finals with a strong win via Sieras Business, weathering an absolute storm of Clint’s hardest strikes and, by the end of the match, just walking straight through Clint’s kicks in a moment that has me convinced he’s some kind of fucking android. Clint looked genuinely terrified by the man in front of him, and I really can’t blame him. This was Kyle Sieras at his absolute fiercest. Well played, Kyle.

Meanwhile, the beef between Samael Tangaroa and Los Diablos hasn’t cooled one bit over all these years, and his match with goddamn Fabio motherFUCKing Silva was just as fierce, if not moreso, than matches we’ve seen between the two in prior World Opens. I don’t know if they’re putting something in the water in the SWA locker room or what, but this was the third table the poor commentary team has gone through this tournament. This might’ve actually been a nastier brawl than El Rey vs. Fabio last week, and obviously there was none of the respect given to each other that we saw between those two. This was a match driven by spite, hate, and violence, and Samael made sure to add insult to injury by spitting in Fabio’s face on the way out the door after his win. Y’know, sometimes I almost catch myself liking that giant psychotic murderfucker.

But when it comes to talking about match of the week, I’ll be damned if I’m not coming back around to Adam Nishimura once again. Nishimura has no chance whatsoever of making the finals at this point, but he didn’t let that stop him from taking the fight straight to El Rey Dorado in a display of toughness, grit, and pure goddamn strength that’s starting to become his signature in this tournament. I haven’t a single fucking clue how he does this, but somehow, Nishimura continues to have El Rey’s number in this tournament, beating him for the third year in a row. I just don’t even parse it as real to see this dude stand up to the biggest men in SWA, get right in their faces, take their best shot, and then throw them on their heads as if they were a hundred pounds lighter. After the match, Nishimura grabbed the house mic and said, points or no points, he was going to find a way to fight Kazuo Saji again no matter what he had to do to get there. Guess we haven’t seen the last of those two going at it, and I can’t say I’m not looking forward to seeing that run back.

So where does that leave us, points-wise? Well, Armel St. Martin and Samael Tangaroa are the clear block-leaders at 8 points, but even despite his run-in with Adam Nishimura this week, El Rey Dorado still has a shot at taking the whole thing, as does Carlos Ortega-Reyes. Fuckboy Silva is, thank fuck, mathematically eliminated, as are Kyle Sieras, Clint Oliver, and Adam Nishimura. Just like A Block, things are about as clear as mud in B Block. It’s really all going to come down to who wins what and where the tie-breakers fall next week.

B Block Point Totals:

Armel St. Martin 8pts

Fabio Silva 6pts

Adam Nishimura 5pts

Clint Oliver 5pts

Samael Tangaroa 8pts

Carlos Ortega-Reyes 6pts

Kyle Sieras 4pts

El Rey Dorado 6pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: Adam Nishimura def. El Rey Dorado by PINFALL in 23:48

[angrywrasslenerd]

Week in Review – World Open Week Three 3/20-3/23

After the title matches of last week, you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking that maybe this would be more of a down week. You’d be wrong. Carson City may historically be a soft market for SWA, but both the company and the wrestlers seemed determined to put out their absolute best this week, turning 2/3 full venues of normally-tepid fans into walls of sounds nearly indistinguishable from a packed house in Portland. It does suck to see SWA waste this level of shows on Carson City audiences, but if they’re looking to grow their market in the area, I have to admit that this would be a way to do it.

A Block

A Block was so ridiculously packed with match of the fucking year candidates this week that I was at a loss as to how I was going to pick anything for match of the week. Not only that, but there’s still a huge number of guys alive in this thing. Jake Adair is mathematically eliminated at this point, after losing to both Ultimo Cielo and Paul Lambert this week, as is Mark Cabelo, while Aaron Wolff is teetering on the brink, with his only chance being to win every match going forward and hope for some very specific outcomes elsewhere in the block, but everyone else has a clear path to the finals. This is incredible. We’ve only got two nights of block competition left per block after this week, and more than half of the block are still fully in this thing, with only two guys for-sure out.

That said, while Mark Cabello’s tournament is effectively over from the numbers perspective after this week’s matches, you can’t take anything away from his match quality. I fucking told you asscackles to keep your eyes out for Adrian Rose vs. Mark Cabello, and like your mom with the chicken tendies, that shit fucking delivered. They had an absolute showcase on Thursday, with both Rose’s power and Cabello’s counter-wrestling on full display. For every feat of strength Rose pulled out, Cabello had a way to turn his power and momentum against him. And for every fabulous counter Cabello pulled out, Rose had another heaping helping of pain ready to dish out to punish him for it. The only thing that could stop them was the time limit – fans anxiously counted down the time as Cabello backflipped out of a huge German suplex from Rose. They cheered uproariously as Rose turned around right into Cabello’s absolutely vicious spinning backfist. They practically blew the roof of the building with a roar as Cabello nailed the Incredible Brainbender right in the center of the ring… only for the time limit to expire before he could get the three. That’s right, this one goes down as a time limit draw in the record books, one that must be heartbreaking for Marvelous Mark, because the difference between one point and two is huge for his prospects in the tournament at this point. A decisive victory in either of his matches this week would’ve at least left him in a situation where he could hope for an advantageous tie-breaker. Unfortunately for Mark, his other opponent this week was Bobby Wilder.

Bobby looked like an absolute star this week, once again showing off his versatility as he kept up with Aaron Wolff both in the standup and on the mat on Thursday, and then went counter-for-counter with Mark Cabello on Saturday. And while a crafty counter into a choke out of a roll-up attempt gave Wolff a crucial tie-breaker that kept him alive in the block, Bobby’s own counters of transitioning a Cabello pop-up Samon Drop a flying European uppercut and then especially turning the momentum of Cabello’s ripcord knee into an Express Flight were highlight reel-worthy. Expect to see that last one in SWA sizzle reels for years to come, and expect Cabello vs. Wilder to be in the conversation when people start talking about Match of the Year later this year.

Ultimo Cielo, meanwhile, appears to have caught some genuine fire from his match with Paul Lambert last week. He absolutely worked his ass off this week, beating both Jake Adair on Thursday and VOLT Tsukuda on Saturday clean as a sheet, and bringing himself up from 2 points to 6, putting him right up there as a potential block winner. Both were incredible matches, to boot. Jake Adair definitely had something to prove this week, and while victory continued to elude him, he looked like way more of a contender against Cielo this week than he did against VOLT last week. VOLT, meanwhile, looked focused, aggressive, and most of all determined against Cielo, likely oweing to the proclamation he made for himself on Thursday.

Of course, I saved the best for last. Let’s talk about VOLT Tsukuda, his match with Paul Lambert on Thursday, and what he had to say for himself afterwards. VOLT has long made it no secret that, while he respects Paul Lambert, he views Paul as a rival first and foremost. He has long advocated for a more aggressive approach to dealing with factions like Murderer’s Row and the Lords of Desolation in SWA, and has been especially loud about how Paul stopped him from getting involved to try to stop the Lords’ disgusting assault on Tommy Powers and Akiko Shimizu at the end of last month. VOLT channeled all that frustration into his match this week, and what we got was unlike any Paul Lambert vs. VOLT Tsukuda match we’ve ever seen up until this point. Generally, that’s been a match that has played out primarily on the mat, but this week, in the middle of a hotly-contested World Open, with emotions running high, both men went for broke. Yes, there was some mat wrestling here, and VOLT and Paul both impressed on the mat as always, but this time it took a back seat as the match went on, as both men seemed fully determined to go for the knockout. Paul has always had good striking, but rarely have we ever seen him showcase it like this. Meanwhile, VOLT showed everyone the benefits of the extra size he’s been putting on lately, both in the striking and in some feats of strength that quickly made everyone forget that Paul was technically the heavyweight in this matchup. Yet, despite it all, this wasn’t a hate-filled brawl. The emotion coming from both men was not anger, but determination. This was two men leaving it all in the ring for nearly the full 30 minutes, and at the end of it all, after landing the knockout blow with a new spinning variation on his superkick, VOLT still gave Paul the respect of a handshake, showing that he wanted to go forward with no hard feelings.

After the match, microphone in hand, VOLT explained that, while he would never want to stop being Paul’s friend, he could no longer be his follower. Their philosophies had diverged too far, and VOLT now fully believed that you cannot oppose a force like the Lords of Desolation by following the rules. SWA, he said, could only be saved by someone who was willing to fight fire with fire. Paul replied that he knew this moment would come one day, and promised that, while he could not follow VOLT on the path he now walked, he would always be there, hoping for his success, and ready to stop him if he went too far. The two parted in friendship, their separate paths now set.

This is fuckin’ wrestling, guys. This is what the fuck it’s about. No betrayals, backstabbing, or bullshit. Just thirty minutes of nonstop action, followed by a display of pure respect and class. As mentioned, I struggled on Match of the Week this week, but when I really sat back and looked at the week as a whole, there was no way I could choose anything but this.

A Block Point Totals:

Adrian Rose 7pts

Paul Lambert 6pts

Mark Cabello 3pts

VOLT Tsukuda 6pts

Bobby Wilder 6pts

Ultimo Cielo 6pts

Aaron Wolff 4pts

Jake Adair 2pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: VOLT Tsukuda def. Paul Lambert by PINFALL in 29:03

B Block

B Block didn’t quite hit the highs that A Block did this week, but that’s practically an impossible task, especially for a block that has Fabio motherFUCKing Silva in it. Especially especially during a week in which Fuckboy Fabio won both of his matches. I would ask whatever god might be listening what I did to deserve this if my sins weren’t publicly available on the internet for everyone to consume. Clint Oliver has looked strong up to this point in the tournament, but he ran smack dab into the wall of shit this week. Fabio looked exactly like you’d expect in this match, fucking up left and right on every goddamn move and looking like a joke, but somehow all of his fuckups seemed to leave Clint the worse for wear, and I’m concerned he might’ve been badly hurt somewhere in there. He seemed unsteady on his feet in the back half of the match, though he was back in form for his match with Carlos Ortega-Reyes on Sunday, so whatever happened to him, he was at least able to keep going, even if he lost. Nonetheless, add this to the ever-growing mountain of evidence for why SWA should fire this absolute fucking chode Silva. And y’know, if El Rey Dorado or anyone else in Los Diablos wants to complain about it, they can go too. I’d miss them at least a little, but it’d be worth it to rid one of my favorite promotions of this fucking greasy shart.

Speaking of El Rey Dorado, he also dropped a match to Fabio this week. No favoritism for faction members here; the two big men of Los Diablos beat each other within an inch of their lives on Sunday, even after El Rey had already gone through a hell of a brawl with Carlos Ortega-Reyes on Friday. And when it came down to it, both men were perfectly happy to pull out the ol’ Los Diablo Bullshit on each other, leaving SWA down yet another commentary table in this tournament as they took things to the outside. El Rey Dorado has become well known for his dirty-fighting out in the crowd over the years, but Fabio actually outdid him this week, stealing a whiskey bottle some fan had snuck into the arena to blow the cheap hooch in El Rey’s face before smashing the bottle over his head. Wild how these two guys can do this shit to each other and still finish out the match raising each other’s arms and hugging it out. There really is some truth to what El Rey says about the brotherhood of Los Diablos.

Meanwhile, Kyle Sieras got booted right on down to the bottom of things, dropping both of his matches this week to become mathematically eliminated from the tournament. He fought like hell against both Samael Tangaroa on Friday and Armel St. Martin on Sunday, but just couldn’t put together a win. Sieras seemed really disappointed and frustrated with himself this week, and given his long-term performance over the last few years in this tournament, it’s understandable. I don’t know what’s going on in Kyle’s head, but something needs to change.

Adam Nishimura also had a rough week points-wise, dropping matches to both of the same opponents Kyle Sieras faced on opposite nights, and landing himself right next to Kyle in the mathematically-eliminated pile. Like both Kyle Sieras and Mark Cabello in A Block, though, you can’t take anything away from the sheer fight Adam put up this week. To draw another point of comparison, like his boss Ultimo Cielo, Adam is proving that when you take away all the bullshit and make him just fight straight-up, he becomes an incredible workhorse wrestler. He took Armel St. Martin right to the limit on Friday in a match that absolutely would’ve been my match of the week for B Block if it weren’t for the even more incredible work Nishimura put in against Samael on Sunday.

When we talk about David vs. Goliath kinds of match-ups, Adam Nishimura vs. Samael Tangaroa is, on the surface, exactly what we’re talking about. At 5’10” and 205lbs, Nishimura is absolutely dwarfed by the 6’10” nearly 310lb Samael. The thing is, in the story of David and Goliath, David doesn’t pick the giant up and drop him on his fucking head. After 20 minutes of a match where Nishimura mostly relied on his sharp striking, he managed the kind of feat of strength of which legends are made when he somehow managed to hit that throwing German suplex on the largest man in SWA. Samael, not to be outdone, responded by going to the top rope for not only one of his absolutely insane moonsaults, but then again for a top rope missile dropkick. Adam, not to be outdone himself, then somehow managed a pair of piledrivers one right after the other on Samael, before ultimately falling to hubris when he went for a Cervical Fusion and Samael countered into Final Judgment. After a performance like that, Adam Nishimura is a fucking giantslayer. I don’t even care that he lost, or that he’s mathematically out of the running. Between this tournament and his title challenge against Kazuo Saji in the fall, Nishimura has been made. Whether you or I or anybody likes it or not, the dude is a fucking star now. God help us all.

B Block Point Totals:

Armel St. Martin 6pts

Fabio Silva 6pts

Adam Nishimura 3pts

Clint Oliver 5pts

Samael Tangaroa 6pts

Carlos Ortega-Reyes 6pts

Kyle Sieras 2pts

El Rey Dorado 6pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: Samael Tangaroa def. Adam Nishimura by PINFALL in 25:25

[angrywrasslenerd]

Week in Review – World Open Week Two and Title Matches 3/13-3/16

This week was a wild one in SWA, with two days of block matches, a Joshi Championship defense on Friday in Yokohama, and an SWA Openweight Championship defense on Saturday in San Francisco, so we’ve got a lot of shit to cover this week. We would’ve had even more, but, like they so often do, SWA once again threw the Tag Team Championships in the dirt like the neglected stepchild belts they are. So we’ll be covering the World Open block days, then the Joshi Championship, then the Openweight Championship. That’s not quite the order things happened in, but fuck you dickweasel this is my blog.

A Block:

Mark Cabello managed to actually get out of the gates this week with a damn fine match against Aaron Wolff, so maybe week one really was just jitters for him. This week, Mark looked more like the big star we’re used to seeing in his GPWA matches, and his style meshed surprisingly well with Wolff’s, ending up at a damn entertaining spectacle of mat wrestling with just enough big flashy big moves to keep things interesting. If you don’t watch GPWA and haven’t seen Cabello before, this is more along the lines of what to expect: solid fundamentals backed by a deep understanding of how to use his opponent’s momentum against them and a lot of crowd-arresting charisma to pull it all together. Keep an eye on him throughout this tournament; if he keeps gaining momentum, we’re going to be in for a treat next week when he faces Adrian Rose.

Speaking of Rose, he ran into a speedbump this week in the form of an extremely focused, motivated Bobby Wilder. Contrary to what people might think when looking at him, Bobby proved himself a student of the game this week, having clearly learned everything he could from his loss to the Celtic Killing Machine in the fall, and watched every match since carefully. He brought Rose to the mat immediately, but critically, he didn’t stay there. Instead, Bobby used what is arguably his greatest weapon – his versatility – smoothly transitioning between slick holds, explosive striking, and those absolutely wild drop kicks at-will, leaving Rose off-balance and unable to adjust fast enough to keep up with him. And if there were any doubts about Bobby’s strength and power game, I think they were answered this week when he managed to send Rose up in the air for an Express Flight. This match was a masterclass in how to stay ahead of a larger opponent, and Bobby deserves all the credit in the world for managing to put it together. It probably won’t work on Rose again, but he’ll have to cross that bridge when he comes to it.

Meanwhile, VOLT Tsukuda was on cruise control this week, having apparently recovered fully from a crushing loss to Adrian Rose in week one to claim a dominant win over Jake Adair. I stand by what I said last week about Jake as a man who can beat anyone on any given night, but as time goes by, it seems more and more like his biggest problem is inconsistency. Some nights we get matches where he looks like a true world beater, and other nights we get some sad bullshit like this. Jake barely got out of the gates against VOLT, getting thrown and battered all around the ring before eating a VOLTage Spike in under 10 minutes. An impressive showing for VOLT, but an absolutely dogshit showing for Adair, reminiscent of some of the embarrassing performances he put in down the stretch back in the 2023 World Open. If Jake wants to keep being in this tournament in the years to come, he’s just got to do better than this.

With three of four A Block matches down, we now come to my favorite A Block match of the week: Paul Lambert cutting off all escape and forcing Ultimo Cielo to actually wrestle him. Cielo clearly really wanted this to be a typical Dogshit Murderer’s Row Match full of shenanigans, but Paul was having none of it, grabbing onto Cielo and dragging him right back to the middle of the ring every time he tried to get away. And while I wouldn’t blame any of you for forgetting given how rare it is, when Ultimo Cielo is forced into a corner where he has no choice but to actually wrestle, he’s actually really fucking good at it. I’ve seen a decent number of people who watch the shows on VOD after the fact say that they just hit the fast forward any time they see an Ultimo Cielo match, and under normal circumstances I wouldn’t blame you, but in this case you would really, genuinely be doing yourself a disservice. Watch this fucking match. You’re welcome.

A Block Point Totals:

Adrian Rose 4pts

Paul Lambert 4pts

Mark Cabello 2pts

VOLT Tsukuda 4pts

Bobby Wilder 4pts

Ultimo Cielo 2pts

Aaron Wolff 2pts

Jake Adair 2pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: Paul Lambert def. Ultimo Cielo by SUBMISSION in 27:36

B Block:

Normally, you wouldn’t catch me praising Carlos Ortega-Reyes for throwing the rulebook out the window and turning a wrestling match into a street fight, but in this hypothetical, he isn’t wrestling King Dipshit himself, Fabio MotherFUCKing Silva. I’m a simple man. I see Fabio get beat up, I like. And boy did he ever get beat up this week. We didn’t see the railroad spike this week (rumor has it someone finally managed to confiscate it from him), but that didn’t slow Carlos down one bit, as he almost immediately took this one out of the ring, fans scattering in panic as he threw Fabio into the stands. I hope SWA packed extra tables and chairs for commentary for this tour, because the ones they had this week won’t be seeing any more use.

Meanwhile, Adam Nishimura and Clint Oliver continued to be on some whole other shit this week, turning in performances way more impressive than their card positions up until this point would’ve indicated. Nishimura had already shown some flashes of greatness during his SWA Openweight Championship match with Kazuo Saji back in October, but he looked like a full-on main event star up against Kyle Sieras this week. Not to be outdone, Clint Oliver took El Rey Dorado right to the limit and beyond, delivering the kind of signature win that makes men into stars. Both of these matches were flat-out incredible, which isn’t something I expected to be saying about dudes from Murderer’s Row and Lords of Desolation going into this tournament, but here we are. It was really hard deciding which of these matches to give match of the week too, but I knew it had to be one of them.

In the main, Armel St. Martin vs. Samael Tangaroa was as impressive as it’s been every other time we’ve seen it, but that’s the problem at this point: we’ve already seen it, many times now. I recognize that I must sound absolutely fucking certifiable right now to people who haven’t watched the show, but I’m not alone. For someone who’s never seen Armel take on Samael before, this match would be great, and for those of us who have, it was perfect comfort food watching, but the real excitement was happening down the card.

B Block Point Totals:

Armel St. Martin 2pts

Fabio Silva 2pts

Adam Nishimura 3pts

Clint Oliver 5pts

Samael Tangaroa 2pts

Carlos Ortega-Reyes 4pts

Kyle Sieras 2pts

El Rey Dorado 4pts0

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: Adam Nishimura def. Kyle Sieras by PINFALL in 19:16

SWA Joshi Championship: Shannon Fulmar vs. Cerise

While Lina tends to get the most attention of the women in BHB, Shannon Fulmar has been quietly putting together an incredible resume as a wrestler ever since debuting back at Aftermath 2018. I’m as big a Lina fan as anyone else, as past posts on this very blog will attest, but I genuinely think that the long shadow she casts over BHB has kept more people from recognizing how great the Mistress of Tides really is.

Well, overlook no more, fuckers. This was one of the greatest matches of either Shannon or Cerise’s careers. Neither woman was content to stick to their own wheelhouse; Shannon impressed with her toughness as she stood and brawled with Cerise, while Cerise was all too happy to take things to the mat with Shannon, demonstrating the confidence that comes with finally beating Mieko Suzuyama to become the Joshi Champion. And when that didn’t bring victory, both women were perfectly happy to drop each other right on their heads, or go flying off the top rope. This was a long one, and the red-hot Yokohama crowd ate up every second of it.

I know it’s a stereotype to say that Japanese crowds appreciate wrestling more than American fans do, but the crowds for the SWA Japan tours really do make every match feel special, and when you combine that with two women as great as Shannon Fulmar and Cerise, the quality of the wrestling and quality of the atmosphere combine to make something truly incredible. This match was a nail-biter right up to the end, and I could’ve sworn it was over at least a half a dozen times, and the fans in attendance were right there with me. And maybe it’s just that aforementioned style clash, with the way a striker can come off compared to a submission expert in front of a less-familiar crowd, but for those fans in Yokohama that night, they were genuinely pulling for Cerise. Make no mistake, Cerise’s title reign looked seriously in jeopardy a number of time in this match, and the fans in attendance really wanted to see her pull through, and fuck me if I didn’t start rooting for her too, Los Diablos or no Los Diablos.

Results: Cerise def. Shannon Fulmar by PINFALL in 36:47 to RETAIN the SWA Joshi Championship

The Nerd’s Rating: Fucking Incredible/10

SWA Openweight Championship: Brandon Kennedy vs. Kazuo Saji

I had mixed feelings going into this one. Like Adam Nishimura before him, Brandon Kennedy isn’t exactly someone I would normally consider Openweight Championship caliber, and it’s not like the creepy little fuck endeared himself to anybody with the way he challenged. It didn’t feel like he deserved to be in this match. I also had some concerns about Saji. He’s touching rarified air with this defense, having officially passed the one-year and 8 defense mark of his reign, something very few people have done. But he also continues to push himself way too goddamn hard every match, and still participated in the shows leading up to this one, even though he really didn’t have too, and frankly, probably should’ve given his shoulder more time to rest after the attack from Brandon last month. And of fuckin’ course, every show Saji showed up on, there was Brandon, taunting him further and trying to bait him into starting a fight before their title match. By the time we actually got to the Ides of March, I was just itching to see Saji finally get his hands on this brush-headed assgibbon.

Well, the Ides have come and gone, and I can officially say that my feelings on this match are still somewhat mixed. Credit where credit’s due: Brandon Kennedy is exactly what he says he is. He really does love a dangerous, hateful, personal fight, he did everything he could to get that, and he got exactly what he wanted. At any rate, Saji must’ve been seeing red, because even a green mist didn’t stop his momentum. When Brandon spit that nasty shit in his face, Saji charged straight through it and hit a cutter on him anyway, blinded though he must’ve been. And given the sheer bone on bone crack of some of those strikes Saji was throwing, I’d be genuinely surprised if Kennedy doesn’t have to have his jaw wired shut. Which, come to think of it, would at least shut the fucker up for a little while.

But here’s where what I said about mixed feelings comes in. As aggressive as Saji was, even he couldn’t overcome the basic laws of physics and the human body. His shoulder gave out on him multiple times in this match, and the Prince of Disdain targeted it relentlessly with kicks, stomps, and submission holds. There was a particularly scary bit in the middle of the match where Brandon got Saji caught in the Banned in 21 States, Saji tried to lift Brandon up for some kind of slam, and ended up dropping him back to the mat with an audible pop from his shoulder. By the time the match was over, he ended up having to resort to the Chrome Splitter because it didn’t require using his arm to secure the victory.

Kazuo Saji cannot keep doing this. He’s killing himself out there. As much as this was a great match, and it was in fact really satisfying to see Saji take down Brandon after the heinous attack he perpetuated last month and then the weeks of taunting that followed, my concern for Kazuo Saji as a human being at some points starts to outweigh my ability to enjoy the matches of Kazuo Saji the professional wrestler. By the end of this match, his left arm was basically hanging completely useless at his side, not to mention the fact that both men were very obviously bleeding from the nose and mouth from the viciousness of the strikes they were throwing. If he keeps up this pace, he’s not going to just have to worry about losing his championship, he’s going to have to worry about the state he’s leaving his body and career in.

Results: Kazuo Saji def. Brandon Kennedy by PINFALL in 24:21 to RETAIN the SWA Openweight Championship

The Nerd’s Rating: I can’t watch this/10

[angrywrasslenerd]

Week in Review – World Open Week One 3/6-3/9

The World Open format has gone through some changes this year. In previous years, the Open would be put on hold for one week for the Openweight Championship to be defended, but then run right through Aftermath Championship defenses. This year, the World Open will run through the weeks of both the Openweight and Aftermath Championship defenses, but with a reduced schedule of one show for each block, so that the Championships can be defended on a show without a bunch of block matches on it stealing focus. Good change, if you ask me. Keeps the momentum going, and shows more respect to the Aftermath belt.

It still feels weird to me to have a World Open without Kazuo Saji. The dude’s been a fixture of the tournament since its inception seven years ago, yet both last year and this year, he’s been Openweight Champion when the tournament began, leaving him with no reason to enter. It’s also been a tight couple of years for the Open, with SWA digging deep to feature guys who haven’t been in the tournament before, and reaching out to partner promotions to fill out the blocks. This year in particular, we have the SWA debut of Mark Cabello, a man who’s become a fixture of GPWA’s Oregon Heavyweight Championship scene over the last three years, and the tournament debuts of Adrian Rose, Mark’s dominant rival who debuted in SWA last year, Clint Oliver, the Underground Wrestling Club transplant who impresses me with his skills almost as much as he pisses me off by being a member of the Shitlords of Desecration (some people have messaged me to say I’m playing with fire by calling Carlos and His Fuckwads names, and I say blow me. What’re they gonna do? Write angry tweets at me? I’m a blogger for fuck’s sake none of these horsefuckers have ever seen my face), and Bobby Wilder, the BHB wunderkind who all the fangirls gush over. So how did these guys do in their first week of the World Open?

A Block:

Well, the answer for Cabello is not great. Maybe it’s the unfamiliar touring environment, less support from the Sacramento SWA fans who don’t know GPWA as well, a bad mental state from having recently lost the Oregon Heavyweight Championship, or maybe he just plain had a bad week. Whatever the case, Mark Cabello didn’t look like the strong champion we’ve seen in GPWA. He walked out of week one of the World Open with a grand total of zero fucking points. He impressed with his wrestling and fighting spirit, but ate losses in very closely-fought, competitive matches to both Paul Lambert and VOLT Tsukuda to become the only guy in A Block not to win a match this week.

Meanwhile, Adrian Rose continued to impress with his raw power and resilience. Rose has been a force to be reckoned with since coming into SWA, having been undefeated until he lost the Aftermath Championship to Javier Valiente at Crescendo back in January, and he came back with a vengeance here, rolling over both Paul and VOLT and making their rivalry with each other feel like an irrelevant footnote in comparison to his dominance. Valiente definitely exposed a chink in the armor of Rose by out-wrestling him on the mat, and both Paul and VOLT tried to take advantage of that weakness, but Rose was having none of it, powering out of holds and pins and pummeling his opponents into submission.

Elsewhere on the cards, Bobby Wilder sought revenge against Ultimo Cielo, but fell to his difficult-to-adapt-to wrestling style of COMPLETE FUCKIN BULLSHIT (ugh don’t get me started) before redeeming himself with a strong win over Jake Adair later in the week. For Jake himself, he managed a tricky rollup victory over Aaron Wolff out of the mount, further solidifying him as a man who can beat anyone on any given night. Wolff managed to finally get a measure of revenge on Ultimo Cielo for kicking him out of Murderer’s Row back in 2023. I can only imagine how great it must’ve felt for Wolff to finally get his hands around Cielo’s neck and choke him out.

Overall, nobody looked truly bad in A Block this week. Even Mark Cabello managed to shine in both of his matches, but I especially want to point out Cabello vs. Tsukuda, which was a shining example of both guys’ flexibility and adaptability, with technical mat wrestling, striking, power, and flying in equal measures.

A Block Point Totals:

Adrian Rose 4pts

Paul Lambert 2pts

Mark Cabello 0pts

VOLT Tsukuda 2pts

Bobby Wilder 2pts

Ultimo Cielo 2pts

Aaron Wolff 2pts

Jake Adair 2pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: VOLT Tsukuda def. Mark Cabello by PINFALL in 23:58 (3/6)

B Block:

Remember how I said nobody truly looked bad in A Block this week? Meanwhile, in B Block, Samael Tangaroa surprised everyone by being a complete fucking washout, fumbling his chance at revenge on Carlos Ortega-Reyes for the LoD Coup of 2023 and getting punked by longtime rival El Rey Dorado in the same week. This is genuinely the weakest I’ve ever seen Samael look in SWA, and I have to start wondering if the blood loss he suffered in his match with Carlos on Friday factored into his defeat by El Rey on Sunday. In both matches, the Endboss ended up looking like more of a Midboss, being left in a battered and bloody heap by the two men who’ve benefited most in their SWA careers by stabbing him in the back. I would say maybe this should be a wake-up call for Samael to stop being such a raging asshole all the time, but I think history is solid proof at this point that’s never going to happen. A tiger doesn’t change its stripes, and Samael Tangaroa doesn’t magically stop being a shitgibbon.

If Samael looked weak, El Rey Dorado looked as strong as he ever has. In addition to his bloody brawl with Samael on Sunday, he also absolutely steamrolled Kyle Sieras on Friday. Los Diablos in general were pretty quiet in 2024, but between Cerise winning the Joshi Championship from Mieko Suzuyama, Gabriella Espinosa winning her second Queen of SWA, and El Rey Dorado’s dominant performance this week, it seems the faction is motivated and ready to rise back to the top. And honestly? If El Rey and Cerise keep turning in performances like this, I can’t even say I’m that mad about it. Just, maybe put a leash on Fabio MotherFUCKING Silva before he manages to ruin everything again.

Speaking of the ass cancer himself, I can report with great satisfaction that Silva got embarrassed by Armel St. Martin this week, lasting only 11 minutes against the Red Prince before tapping out to the rolling leg lace. Carlos Ortega-Reyes actually managed to get some fire out of Kyle Sieras on Sunday, and we saw a pretty good match between the two. Carlos didn’t even bust out the spike. For once.

My match of the week for B Block, though, goes to one of the most insane things I’ve ever witnessed in an SWA ring. Adam Nishimura and Clint Oliver faced off on Friday, and everybody knew going in that there was going to be some kind of bad blood going on in this match, given their faction allegiances. What we got was 30 fucking minutes of these two kicking each other’s faces in. What started as spectacle swiftly passed through absurdity and back around the other way into awesomeness as the time limit ticked down and these two stubborn fucks refused to back down, standing in the center of the ring and unleashing kick after vicious, blistering, hate-filled kick into each other’s chests and faces. Even after referee Nadine Mathis called for the time limit draw, they didn’t stop; ignoring Nadine’s desperate attempts to separate them, Nishimura and Oliver spilled to the outside and continued to beat the living shit out of each other through the whole arena after the bell rang. It took an entire security team and most of the rest of the locker room to pull them apart. Rumor has it Sac PD had to get involved. Both guys looked like raw fucking hamburger on Sunday, and it’s amazing they managed to make it to their matches at all. That Clint Oliver managed to sneak a rollup victory over Armel St. Martin on Sunday is nothing short of mind-boggling after what he’d been through, and it genuinely looked like Nishimura lost to Turdfucker Fabio only because he was still too full of piss and vinegar to consider trying the same thing. Lord knows that stupid motherfucker Silva’s never learned how to deal with flash pins.

B Block Points Totals:

Armel St. Martin 2pts

Fabio Silva 2pts

Adam Nishimura 1pt

Clint Oliver 3pts

Samael Tangaroa 0pts

Carlos Ortega-Reyes 2pts

Kyle Sieras 2pts

El Rey Dorado 4pts

The Nerd’s Match of the Week: Adam Nishimura vs. Clint Oliver TIME LIMIT DRAW

[angrywrasslenerd]

I DIDN’T MEAN IT YOU FUCKS

[angrywrasslenerd]

SWA Week in Review 6/12-6/18/2023

I've been getting a lot of requests to talk about the TagFest, but so far I haven't touched it. I know this is hard for people to believe but I do actually love SWA, but I also know well that the tag division has never really been their strength. Even with the new Trios Championships in the mix this year (You're welcome for that again by the way), it just doesn't feel like there'll be enough to really make a whole-ass post about until we've had more than the first round out of the way. But with the TagFest being that main thing going on right now, that doesn't really leave me very fucking much to mash my keyboard at, now, does it? And now I have people in my DMs asking if I'm still watching SWA. Yes, you dipfucks, I'm still watching, there just hasn't been anything to talk about.

But last week was a title match week. Well, that's a little different. When titles're on the line, there's always stuff to talk about. So let's go over this shit chronologically, because it's nice to have some kind of order and structure in this fucked up world we live in.

6/14: Lexi Heart vs. Mieko Suzuyama

Hanami Watanabe must be fuming to see Lexi Heart get this title match over her, based on their respective performances at Aftermath. Sorry, kid. Keep putting in the reps and you'll get there eventually.

Lexi has always been one of those performers that's right on the cusp of greatness. Whether it was in the Masked Ladies tag team with Keilyn Coardes, or on her own, she's always had that sense of viciousness that so many lack that can carry you to the very top, but the results have never quite lined up for her as a singles wrestler. But she looked as good as she's ever looked in this title match, giving the Joshi Champ the kind of fight that would've been right at home on a pay-per-view show. For most of this match, I would've predicted an untimely end to Mieko Suzuyama's reign and a new champion.

But the Miracle Goddess is fucking back, baby. Fans who've been around for a while will remember well Mieko Suzuyama's previous Joshi Championship reign, where she earned the nicknames Joshi Ace and Miracle Goddess for being a wholely unstoppable, relentless wrestling machine who wouldn't stay down no matter how much punishment she absorbed. That side of Mieko seemed to fade a bit since she lost the championship, but it was in full fucking force on this night in particular. And it didn't matter how hard Lexi kicked, how viciously she went after those arm locks, or how many times she dropped Mieko on her head with her signature Lexiplexes, the Joshi Champ seemed completely impervious to harm. Every time it looked like Mieko was down and out, she would come back even stronger, and it genuinely seemed to scare the shit out Lexi, who by the end was reduced to staring in awe and fear at the sheer unstoppable majesty of Mieko at full power. This was a showcase for Mieko in her first defense of this new title reign, and if she keeps putting in performances like this, she might be able to hold the championship for another two years.

The Nerd's Rating: Unstoppable/10

6/16: Javier Valiente and Emi Yamazaki vs. The Divine Imperium

One notable downside of the TagFest is that it means a lot of the best tag-team wrestlers in SWA are tied up in the tournament each year, making it slim pickings for challengers for the Tag-Team Championships. Year after year, we’ve had to get used to seeing a tepid filler defense in this slot, with actual marquee matches being few and far between. This defense was, on paper, no different, with Javier Valiente fresh from leaving Los Diablos and Emi Yamazaki still struggling to find her place in SWA, and the two having never teamed together before.

What we got, though, was the Divine Imperium in full-blown implosion mode. Things have just been getting worse between Akiko Shimizu and Mizuki Yoshinaga since their last defense, and they couldn’t even seem to coordinate tags in this match, let alone get on the same page offensively. The Divine Imperium spent almost all of this match on the back foot, and the nascent team of Valiente and Yamazaki worked their asses off. I came into this match fully ready to dismiss the challengers, and I came out of it angry that they couldn’t quite seal the deal after getting so close.

I’m ready for the Divine Imperium to tumble. Their shit isn’t working anymore, and there’s just no way they can continue to hold it together in the face of the competition, especially once the TagFest is over and the more seasoned teams are freed up to pursue them.

The Nerd’s Rating: Multiple Kinds of Disappointing/10

6/17: Aaron Wolff vs. Ultimo Cielo

I don’t feel like I’ve said this enough times. Fuck Ultimo Cielo. Fuck Ultimo Cielo for the absolute garbage his title reign has been. Fuck Ultimo Cielo for briefly tricking me into thinking he was turning over a new leaf as a fighting champion. Fuck Ultimo Cielo for the complete mockery he’s made of the SWA Openweight Championship, and oh yeah, fuck Ultimo Cielo for this match. At least when he was wrestling Kazuo Saji, Cielo put on the veneer of attempting to have a legitimate match. This match, on the other hand, had so much horseshit in it I thought I’d accidentally switched streams and was watching a UBL show.

Part of me wants to blame SWA management for this. They made the decision to bring the overflowing bucket of festering pustules known as Three of a Kind over for the TagFest. They infected their own product with a LETHAL DOSE of ass cancer. But I feel like that’s selling our champion short. He didn’t copy anybody else, oh no, this was an entirely Ultimo Fucking Cielo brand of unrepentant goatfuckery. He pulled out every trick in the book, from hair pulling, to accusing Aaron Wolff of fucking with his mask, to low blows, to dirty pins, to outright just RUNNING THE FUCK AWAY on the outside, and that’s just the first ten minutes! This heaping pile went THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES.

Credit where it’s due. Aaron Wolff tried his best to salvage this. His hard-nosed, straightforward, shootstyle wrestling was, in many ways, the perfect counter to Cielo’s… whatever the FUCK this was. At times, when Wolff was controlling Cielo on the mat, or laying in strikes, this match threatened to become good. But we were never more than a couple minutes away from yet another serving of dogshit. And once the rest of the Row started to show up? Forget it. I’m not ashamed to say I fucking closed the stream and walked away 25 minutes in. I found out the results on dirtydirtydirtsheet, and I feel like the five minutes I saved probably saved me from having some kind of seizure.

Saji’s right. Ultimo Cielo is shook. He’s falling apart. The time is ripe for someone to come along and end this fucking fecal fiesta of a title reign. I’d even take another Samael run over this.

The Nerd’s Rating: UN FUCKING ACCEPTABLE/10

[angrywrasslenerd]

The Angry Wrasslin’ Nerd’s Wrassleviews: Aftermath 2023

Aftermath is traditionally the biggest show on the SWA calendar, the big "season finale" where everything comes together. Tournament winners challenge champions,  blood feuds culminate, hatchets are buried, and new chapters begin, both for wrestlers and for the promotion itself. This is the most exciting time of year to be an SWA fan.

At least, that's the idea. If you've been an SWA fan as long as I have, you start to notice that sometimes, Aftermath fucking sucks. Sometimes the challengers are unexciting, the matches are unsatisfying, and everything just feels like it's in a holding pattern waiting for the fresh blood that typically comes between Aftermath and Emergence. So, where did 2023's show land us? Was this an exciting climax to the year? Or a mammoth-sized turd in the punch bowl? Let's get right to it.

Connor Cipris, Lina, Shannon Fulmar, and Regina Ibanez vs. Aaron Wolff, Valkyrie Jameson, Brianna Dalton, and Raven Briars

I've said my piece a number of times about these pointless low-card tag clusterfucks. They don't move anything forward, and they're just there to get names on the card and fill out matches. The scale for them usually goes from "ASS" to "Meh".

That said, for what this was, it was decent enough. Lina and Valkyrie, in particular, were highlights of the match, and Lina continues to show off her now-legendary toughness every chance she gets. This woman does not wrestle like someone who wants to still be walking in 5 years, let alone wrestling, and fuck me if it isn't entertaining as hell. Every feat of strength Valkyrie could pull off, every crushing lariat or devastating slam, Lina got right back up and asked for more.  This feud has legs, and managed to drag what would otherwise be another dull tag clusterfuck right up into decent territory. If only they would get time for a singles match on a PPV. I seriously don't get what SWA management's deal is regarding Lina the last few years. 44 really isn't that old, and when she's still going at a level like this, why the ass aren't they featuring her more?

The rest of the match was... well, it was fine I guess. Everyone looked good, and nothing stood out as bad. But I was always just waiting for Lina and Valkyrie to get back in the ring. The BHB team emerged victorious when Connor and Shannon both locked in their big submission finishers on Aaron Wolff at the same time (which looked fuckin' vicious by the way), and that was that.

The Nerd's Rating: Watchable/10

El Rey Dorado, Fabio Silva, and Javier Valiente vs. Chad Jackson, El Halcon Loco Jr., and Kara Stern

I don't think Javier Valiente really fits in Los Diablos. Sure, he's a bit of a prankster, but he just doesn't have the kind of inherent shitheadedness that the rest of the faction does. Any time he was in the ring, this was almost a normal wrestling match, with a few shenanigans and pranks here and there. Comparing it to what was going on when El Rey Dorado or Fabio motherFUCKING Silva (who was back to the ring earlier than I expected goddammit) was in the ring reminded me why I used to fuckin' hate these guys so much. Referee misdirections, double-teaming, bullshit on the outside, this match was a greatest hits of Los Diablos' most hatable crap, right down to a completely needless beatdown on Chad Jackson after they'd already won, a beatdown that I note Javier didn't participate in. Don't be surprised if he drifts away from the faction in the coming months.

The Nerd's Rating: Ugh/10

Armel St. Martin and Hanami Watanabe vs. Jake Adair and Lexi Heart

This one should've been a banger. Hanami Watanabe and Lexi Heart's dislike for each other isn't fading at all with time, and they were quite eager to beat the shit out of each other here. Meanwhile, Armel St. Martin seemed motivated to take down Jake Adair after losing to him in the World Open, and Jake actually pulled some rarely-seen anger out of Armel. Jake was quick to tag in when Hanami was in the ring, but just as quick to tag out whenever Armel came after him, and that frustration on Armel's part boiled over into some of the nastiest strikes we've ever seen him throw. Meanwhile, Lexi steadily got tired of Jake's shit because she wanted to be the one fighting Hanami. This led to blind tags and argument on that side of the ring, which Armel and Hanami took advantage of to secure the win.

Jake's bullshit really weighed this match down. He can be a great wrestler when he puts his working boots on, and he's spent years trying to live down his 2018 Inside Wrasslin' "Most Hated Man in Wrestling" award, so you'd think he wouldn't stoop to this shit. Maybe he's afraid of Armel's vengeance after that roll-up win over him in the World Open, but c'mon man it's Aftermath. Get your shit together.

The Nerd's Rating: Disappointing/10

Jim Tarler and Tess Tarler vs. Tommy Powers and Olivia Powers

I'm usually one of the first to complain about nostalgia acts getting big PPV spots, but to be honest, this was actually pretty good. The Powers' had their game faces on, and were dead-set on trying to isolate the 65-year-old Jim Tarler, but he was having none of it. Both sides made frequent tags, and both sides worked together well, with frequent double-team maneuvers and last-moment pin breakups.

The Tarlers really impressed me in this match. Jim fought like hell, and if it weren't for his appearance, you'd be forgiven for mistaking him for a younger man. Tess coordinated well with her grandfather, pulling off matched moves with him, or doing the old signature spots that he can't do anymore. Which is good, because I don't know about you, but I don't fuckin' need to see a 65 year old man doing diving elbows and probably breaking something in my wrestling. Anyway, the Tarlers finally gave the crowd something to really get loud about, and the double Blast Bomb finish was exactly what we needed after a mostly unimpressive undercard.

After the bout was over, Tess grabbed a house mic and teased that she might come back at some point in the future. As I understand it, she's still considering contracts from multiple organizations, and has a busy schedule of matches for a variety of promotions in the coming months. I'll be watching with interest to see where she lands.

The Nerd's Rating: Palate-Cleansing/10

Matt de Leon vs. Aguijon Tachibana

Sometimes, all you need is some motherfucking lucha libre. The Tarlers' match aside, this show had been pretty tepid up to this point, and what we really needed was something to up the pace and really get us to care. Leave it to these two guys to deliver exactly that. The first ten minutes or so of this match were just pure lucha, with lightning-fast hold exchanges, technical pin attempts, and a good dose of high-flying as well. Though I guess the rest of the match was also pure lucha in its own way, as they got steadily more pissed off and brought out the heavy striking. This may have been a mistake on Matt's part, as Aguijon is a more adept kicker than him, and was quick to show this fact off with some absolutely blistering examples. Matt held his own, though, and actually pissed Aguijon off enough with his own kicks that Aguijon went and got a chair. Referee Nadine Mathis tried to talk Aguijon down, until Matt solved the issue by dropkicking the chair into Aguijon's face, where it then flew out of the ring.

Overall, Aguijon fought well, and surprisingly clean, sneaky little fucker that he is, other than the chair. However, Matt's momentum was just undeniable, and after 19 minutes of non-stop action, Aguijon simply didn't have an answer for Matt's Phoenix Splash.

Some of the miserable fuckers that like to clog up my social media feed will probably say that this being my MotN is more a comment on the quality of the overall show than the match itself, but honestly this would've been a pretty great match on any card, and past this point, it was all pedal to the metal anyway. Congratulations to the new Aftermath Champion; with a performance like that, it's richly deserved.

The Nerd's Rating: Fucking Perfection/10

Gold-Blooded vs. The Divine Imperium

I think this is the match that we'll remember as when the cracks started to show for The Divine Imperium. Don't get me wrong, it's not like their act is getting any less funny. But tonight they came as close as they ever have to losing the tag-team championships. Gold-Blooded are just too tight a team to be going up against them without cohesion, something that, as I've mentioned, The Divine Imperium are seriously lacking.

This match ultimately came in kind of a weird place, squished between two absolute killer singles matches. It wasn't bad, and was certainly better than the tepid undercard, but it suffered for being sandwiched between two matches that were far better. Once it was clear that they were actually under serious threat, Akiko and Mizuki did what disciples of Samael do best: They resorted to being absolute monsters. Of course, Cerise and Leticia being members of Los Diablos, they're no strangers to a good old fashioned street fight themselves. You can imagine how things went from there.

I'd say a good half of this match took place outside of the ring, and even when it was inside, things were in full-bore anything goes mode. Tables were broken, chairs were smashed over heads, turnbuckle pads were removed, kendo sticks were produced from somewhere, and while I don't speak Portuguese or Japanese, I'm pretty sure that whatever Leticia was screaming at the top of her lungs violated some kind of broadcast standard somewhere. Referee Nadine Mathis visibly gave up trying to keep any of this under control, and was just content to count the final fall. After all was said and done, The Divine Imperium squeaked one out here, but they clearly underestimated their opponents' capacity for violence, and were on the back foot for a decent portion of the proceedings.

The Nerd's Rating: Violentastic/10

Mieko Suzuyama vs. Gabriela Espinosa

These two are a known quantity at this point, with a number of matches against each other over the last several years. Familiarity can be a double-edged sword for a matchup; while two opponents who know each other well can build up a series of counter-plays that make for exciting matches, a matchup can also just get stale over time because we've seen all this shit before.

Thankfully, this was a different set of circumstances than we've ever seen before for these two women. Since the last time they locked up, Gabriela became Joshi Champion for the first time in her career, and she was as motivated as I've ever seen to hold onto her gold at any cost. Mieko, meanwhile, has been three years away from the title at this point, and it was clear that every day away from the title scene had been eating her up. The match we got from that peculiar alchemy was pure asskickery, only narrowly edged out in my consideration for Match of the Night by the Aftermath Championship match. And sure, Gabriela pulling out all the stops meant a bunch of sketchy rollups, feet on the ropes, all that shit, but when the intensity is this high, and when Mieko absolutely was not having that shit for even a second, and rewarded every shenanigan with pain, I can't be too mad about it (even if the amount of cheating bullshit is a decent part of why I didn't make this my MotN).

When her bag of tricks ran out, though, that's when Gabriela really kicked things into gear and this match got serious. Vicious kicks and chops flew back and forth wtih abandon. Gabriela was jumping off of every surface she could to add momentum to her attacks. Mieko pulled out her old Miracle Third finisher for a near-fall. Both women locked each other in signature holds and I swear I thought it was over a bunch of times. Finishers were countered. By the time Mieko finally managed to nail the Final Hidden Miracle to lift the Joshi Championship for the third time, I was exhausted just from watching.

The Nerd's Rating: Damn near perfect/10

Kazuo Saji vs. Ultimo Cielo

I had really high expectations going into this match. Ultimo Cielo has been steadily growing on me over the last year, producing some really excellent title defenses. Meanwhile, Kazuo Saji has never looked so focused in SWA. Kazuo had an absolutely incredible goddamn World Open this year, putting in tons of match time, giving amazing performances, and of course getting his first ever singles victory over Armel St. Martin. Given Cielo calling that he would be the first SWA Openweight Champion to ever defeat the winner of the World Open way back in February, not to mention putting his mask on the line, there was a real unstoppable force meets immovable object feeling about this matchup that was tantalizing to say the least.

Ultimo Cielo made a promise on that SWA TV back in February, saying that he would come into Aftermath alone, without any backup. What he never promised us, though, was how the shows leading up to this were going to go. In preview tags over the past couple weeks, Murderer's Row made sure to spend as much time as they could isolating Kazuo Saji and working over his leg. I guess Cielo got spooked after seeing Saji completely fucking obliterating people with the Chrome Splitter during the World Open. It barely seemed to matter, though, because Kazuo wasn't interested in trying out the Splitter in this match - he didn't attempt it once. Maybe he was wary of how effective it would be after all the legwork, or maybe he wanted to prove that he didn't need it. Either way, he ended up using just about every other aspect of his game to take the fight to the champion in a match that would've easily been one of my top matches of the night were it not for one teensy problem.

See, at about 23 minutes into the match, Kazuo Saji countered his way out of Ultimo Cielo's Angel Killer spinning tombstone piledriver. That must have panicked Cielo, because that's when everything went to hell. From that point on, a match that had been cleanly fought and really exciting became shenanigan city. Cielo did everything he could to keep referee Toby Russell distracted (not that distracting Toby is hard) so he could go for low blows and dirty pin attempts. When that didn't work, he threw Kazuo straight into Toby so that nobody with authority to stop the match would see him blast Kazuo full on in the jaw with a set of brass knuckles. To Kazuo's credit, he kicked out AGAIN after the brass knuckles shot, and even started to mount a comeback but he was unable to do anything about the second Angel Killer.

A match like this is really fucking frustrating. A complete turd of a match that stinks out the joint is one thing, but a titanic fucking miscarriage of justice like this is an entire other sack of shit. To think Cielo was winning me over with great performances as recently as Crescendo. Fuck this ending and fuck Ultimo Cielo for ruining what could have been one of the greatest matches of the year with his horsefuckery. Was it really worth it, Cielo? Throwing away any credibility you had with the fans just so you could say you're the first champ to turn back the World Open winner at Aftermath?

Fuck.

The Nerd's Rating: FUCK. MY. LIFE/10

[angrywrasslenerd]

KAZUO. FUCKING. SAJI.

[angrywrasslenerd]

World Open 2023 Week in Review - Week 4

A Block

Okay, first of all, let me get the apology out of the way, since you fucknuggets spent all week yelling at me about it on the socials. I got mixed up with all the goddamn math I had to do last week and incorrectly said that El Rey Dorado could end this tournament at 8 points, creating a four-way tie for the block. That was obviously wrong, as this week's events attest. Shit happens. Moving on.

Kazuo Saji has been wrestling for SWA since 2015, and in that time, there's a lot he's accomplished. He's won the Summer Tagfest with Connor Cipris, he's won the Escalation tournament, he's held the Aftermath Championship, he's been tag-team champion, and he became a founding member of the most popular faction in SWA. Sometimes, I see dumbasses online opine that Kazuo's done all there is to do in SWA and he should move on. But there are three things Kazuo Saji has never done in SWA: He's never held the SWA Openweight Championship, he's never won the World Open, and up until this week, he's never won a pinfall victory over Armel St. Martin in a singles match.

Saji's never been hotter than this, though, and his fortunes are starting to change. After nearly a decade of a rivalry in which Kazuo had wins in tag matches and multimans but could never quite get it done when it came to the big singles matches, Kazuo Saji beat Armel St. Martin this week. And while that match was nowhere near as long or as violent as his match against Carlos Ortega-Reyes last week, it was nonetheless absolutely spectacular. Next week, Kazuo heads to the finals against... well, we'll get to that in a bit.

Elsewhere down the card, Jake Adair finished out his World Open with a wet fart, having the lowest point total in the block, and having lost five matches in a row. Not that anyone probably expected Jake to take down El Rey Dorado, but he had probably the worst tournament anyone's had since unimportantguy walked out of the World Open with two points back in 2018. Carlos Ortega-Reyes and Raye Groves, meanwhile, finished strong at eight points, just one win behind Saji.

I spent a long time this week thinking about match of the week for this block, and I don't think anyone would blame me for giving it to the main event, but while Kazuo and Armel did put on a hell of a show, I think I actually have to give props to someone else. Paul Lambert and Raye Groves put on an absolute mat-wrestling clinic, going long in a match that had nothing but pride on the line. And given how Raye Groves has struggled over the last few years to finish strong in these tournaments, his eight point finish is a triumph in and of itself. That gets my match of the week.

A Block Point Totals FINAL:

Armel St. Martin: 8

El Rey Dorado: 6

Kazuo Saji: 10

Jake Adair: 4

Carlos Ortega-Reyes: 8

Paul Lambert: 6

Adam Nishimura: 6

Raye Groves: 8

The Nerd's Match of the Week: Raye Groves def. Paul Lambert by SUBMISSION in 21:37

B Block:

Since the beginning of the World Open this year, it was always clear that B Block was going to come down to Connor Cipris and Samael Tangaroa. Connor in particular looked incredibly strong throughout his return to the tournament, and it seemed like this would be the year that we'd finally see Connor vs. Kazuo III in the finals. But everyone's least favorite End Boss had other plans.

Samael has always been a force to be reckoned with in the World Open. People often assume the big galoot will gas out as the tournament draws on, tiring out from the exertion of moving his massive bulk around the ring so much for a month of straight singles matches. People are wrong. If anything, Samael tends to get more dangerous in the later stages of a tournament, and that's exactly what Connor Cipris fell victim to this week. Samael avoided overexerting himself, preferring to use DDTs, lariats, and chokeholds instead of showing off his power, and that gameplan paid off in spades. Connor tried his best to hobble the giant with his legwork, but that strategy is less effective if the giant you're attempting to hobble decides to just fall down on top of you. Big win for Samael, and a heartbreaking loss for Connor.

Down the card, Aaron Wolff and Kyle Sieras both were in cruise control, coasting to easy victories against Tommy Powers and Javier Valient respectively. Meanwhile, I became a Chad Jackson fan when he spiked Fabio motherFUCKING Silva on his stupid fucking head with the Action Express, putting Fabio out of action for what I hope is a good long while. Nothing really quite rose to the level of the main event though, and it easily gets my nod for match of the week.

B Block Point Totals FINAL:

Samael Tangaroa: 10

Chad Jackson: 6

Connor Cipris: 10

Fabio Silva: 6

Aaron Wolff: 6

Kyle Sieras: 8

Tommy Powers: 4

Javier Valiente: 6

The Nerd's Match of the Week: Samael Tangaroa def. Connors Cipris by PINFALL in 18:40

[angrywrasslenerd]

World Open 2023 Week in Review - Week 3

A Block

This week, we finally started to get a clear sense of what things are going to look like in the A Block. With Kazuo Saji and Armel St. Martin both at 8 points, whoever wins that matchup next week is heading to the finals, barring some truly weird circumstances. I say that shit with my fingers crossed, because that exact thing happened to Kazuo and Armel back in 2021. A no contest in that match would throw things completely sideways, and the block would come down to tiebreakers.

Here's where shit gets weird. Carlos Ortega-Reyes holds a tiebreaker over Armel St. Martin, and El Rey Dorado holds one over Kazuo Saji. And at this point, Kazuo holds a tiebreaker over Carlos and Armel over El Rey, and El Rey holds a tiebreaker over Carlos. So things could get very contentious if we have a repeat of 2021. If El Rey and Carlos win their matches on the final night of A Block and Kazuo and Armel go to a No-Contest, then we'll have four wrestlers at 8 points, and a tangled mess of tiebreakers to figure out. I'm going to hazard a guess and say that, under those circumstances, SWA would probably have to do an elimination run-off.

But, again, that would take a No-Contest between Kazuo and Armel to happen, and I would fuckin' hope nobody's looking to make a massive mockery of the entire league this year. So most likely one of either Armel St. Martin or Kazuo Saji will be going to the finals, and the other A Block wrestlers will be playing for pride next week.

Okay. Now that we got all of that out of the way. Jake Adair continued to embarass himself this week, losing to both Adam Nishimura and Paul Lambert in fairly decisive contests. Seems like his victories against Kazuo Saji and El Rey Dorado earlier in the tournament really were just flukes. Meanwhile, Kazuo Saji continued to impress, fighting hard and rivalling Paul Lambert for ring-time this week. Kazuo's been looking steadily more impressive in this tournament over the last few years, and this is really starting to look like it could be his year.

My match of the week for A Block this week combines two great flavors that turned out to taste great together. Kazuo Saji vs. Carlos Ortega-Reyes was one of the nastiest fights we've seen in the A Block, and I loved every second of it. And like with Paul Lambert last week, Kazuo went the distance again, going over 29 minutes with Carlose while wearing the ol' crimson mask for most of it. SWA's referees have gotten wise to Carlos' tricks, so this time he hid the railroad spike under the ring, and managed to rip Kazuo open with it during a scuffle on the outside. The blood in his eyes only seemed to motivate Kazuo, though, and he fought as hard as we've seen him fight, again sealing the deal with the Chrome Splitter a mere 6 seconds before the time limit expired. Hot damn what a match that was.

A Block Point Totals:

Armel St. Martin: 8

El Rey Dorado: 4

Kazuo Saji: 8

Jake Adair: 4

Carlos Ortega-Reyes: 6

Paul Lambert: 6

Adam Nishimura: 6

Raye Groves: 6

The Nerd's Match of the Week: Kazuo Saji def. Carlos Ortega-Reyes by PINFALL in 29:54

B Block

This time last week, it was looking like both Connor Cipris and Samael Tangaroa were undefeatable in this year's tournament. This week, that got thrown into chaos, with Connor eating a loss from Aaron Wolff, and Samael eating a pair of losses. Don't get me wrong, they're still pretty solidly at the front of the block, and I don't think it's currently possible for anyone but Samael to upset Connor on the last day of the block, but it's certainly a turnaround from the previous two weeks.

At this point, Connor is sitting pretty on the top of the block with 10 points, and the only way he could not win the B Block this year is if he loses to Samael next week. If Samael wins next week, he'll be at 10 with a tiebreaker over Connor and there'll be no way for anybody else to get enough points to challenge. So ultimately, this block is still going to come down to Samael vs. Connor, but their dominance of the block, especially Samael's, got throw into question this week in a way it hasn't been so far.

Kyle Sieras was also fully out of whatever funk he's been in this week, pulling off impressive wins over both Samael and Fabio Silva. Guess Connor must've kicked some sense into him. If Kyle had come into the tournament from the beginning with this level of fire and dedication, he'd undeniable be up there with Connor and Samael. As it is, he now sits at 6 points, right next to Fabio, and has a decent chance of finishing with an 8 point record.

The biggest surprise this week, though, was Tommy Powers. I mentioned last week that Tommy was actually starting to show off some of how good he can be, but this week he really proved himself in a big way. Not only did he pin Samael clean in the center of the ring when a lot of people thought he might just lay down, but he fought hard for that win, and this was Samael's longest match of the block so far. Up until now, Samael has put every opponent away in under 20 minutes, (and most of them in under 15!) but this time they went just a hair under 25, and Tommy looked surprisingly dominant in the back half of the match, staying on top of Samael and working on those legs to chop the giant down.  The Samael we used to know would've been furious at the loss, but the Samael of 2023 raised Tommy's hand at the end of the match and invited us all to "bask in the glory of the Lords of Desolation." Weird shit. But a great fucking match.

B Bock Point Totals:

Samael Tangaroa: 8

Chad Jackson: 4

Connor Cipris: 10

Fabio Silva:  6

Aaron Wolff: 4

Kyle Sieras: 6

Tommy Powers: 4

Javier Valiente: 4

The Nerd's Match of the Week: Tommy Powers def. Samael Tangaroa by PINFALL in 24:57

[angrywrasslenerd]

SWA Trios Championships? You’re welcome, fuckers.

[angrywrasslenerd]

World Open 2023 Week in Review - Week Two

A Block

What a reversal of fortune this block experienced this week. Last week, we discussed how Kazuo Saji tripped on the starting line, while Jake Adair sailed to the front of the block with an early 4 points. This week, Kazuo picked up impressive wins over Adam Nishimura and Paul Lambert, while Jake got embarassed on the mat by Raye Groves, and then beaten within an inch of his life by Carlos Ortega-Reyes. This put both men at equal standings in the block, with four points each.

Speaking of Carlos Ortega-Reyes, he pulled ahead of the pack this week in dominant fashion, finishing the week with 6 points. While his match against Jake Adair was basically a one-sided affair, with Carlos attacking Jake before the bell and pummeling him pillar to post until the finish, the match with Armel St. Martin was a highly competitive affair, with Armel's signature mix of high flying and technical matwork on full display. Carlos managed to bait Armel into a battle of strikes later into the match, and that's when things came up his way, with the larger man able to dominate the striking game prior to using a double stomp from the top rope to take the pinfall. Between his performance at Crescendo against Ultimo Cielo in January and his performance in this tournament so far, damn me if I'm not becoming a little bit of a fan.

The biggest upset of the week was easily Adam Nishimura managing to steal one from El Rey Dorado. As much deserved hate as Nishimura gets for being a lecherous fucking creep who shouldn't be allowed within 100 yards of a school or playground, his sheer physical strength cannot be denied, and the entire arena was left speechless when the 205lb. Nishimura managed to get the 284lb. El Rey Dorado up for the Deadlift German to take the most shocking pinfall of the week. This lost must've been extra humiliating for El Rey Dorado, as it left him with the lowest point total in the block for the week, at only 2 points total.

My MVP of the week though has to be Paul Lambert. Both in his victorious contest over El Rey Dorado, and in his loss later in the week to Kazuo Saji, Paul Lambert displayed tremendous heart on top of his technical acumen, managing to fight his way out of what seemed like unwinnable predicamaents again and again. Lambert also put in the longest match times in this week's A Block matches, with both of his matches going over 25 minutes, and Saji vs. Lambert flirting with the 30 minute time limit, getting up to 29:23. Ultimately, Saji had to resort to the Chrome Splitter to finish the job. The sheer heart and fighting spirit displayed by both men make that my A Block match of the week.

A Block Point Totals:

Armel St. Martin: 4

El Rey Dorado: 2

Kazuo Saji: 4

Jake Adair: 4

Carlos Ortega-Reyes: 6

Paul Lambert: 4

Adam Nishimura: 4

Raye Groves: 4

The Nerd's Match of the Week: Kazuo Saji def. Paul Lambert by PINFALL in 29:23 (3/9)

B Block:

The story of B Block this week was the continued dominance of Connor Cipris and Samael Tangaroa, who both continued to remain undefeated in block action. Elswhere in the block, Kyle Sieras and Chad Jackson both managed to get on the scoreboard, but it's all starting to look a bit academic at this point, with Samael and Connor both holding 8 points, and the next highest score in the block being Fabio motherFUCKING Silva at 4. With the point gap steadily widening for most of the block, it would be a big challenge for anyone else to catch up at this point, and with the dude who looks in the best situation to do so being the Donkey Fucker himself, I don't particularly like the idea of him getting more big wins.

At least match quality remained strong. Though Tommy Powers is in a horrible position points-wise at 2, he put on some impressive performances this week, nearly upsetting Connor Cipris and actually looking fairly dominant for a decent stretch of his match with Chad Jackson. I've said before that if Tommy Powers was even half as good as he thought he was, he'd be one of the best wrestlers in SWA, and this week I have to admit that the little shit-goblin did show off at least some of that potential.

No matter how well Tommy Powers did, there was one induspitable crown jewel among this week's B Block matches. The lucky fuckers who managed to get tickets for the March 10th show were in for a treat, because the main event of Connor Cipris vs. Kyle Sieras delivered on every level. Connor Cipris is the best he's ever been, and if we'd gotten the Kyle Sieras that showed up last week, this would've been academic. Thankfully, all the beatings he got in the first week must've flipped a switch in Kyle, because he brought the fight to Connor with a kind of fire we haven't seen from him since the breakup of The Redeemed last year. It's hard to believe this is the same Kyle Sieras we saw last week, let alone the same Kyle Sieras who wandered into SWA 15 years ago and rapidly became the most hated man on the roster. The crowd was so far behind Kyle that I think Connor actually picked up some boos for beating him.

B Block Point Totals:

Samael Tangaroa: 8

Chad Jackson: 2

Connor Cipris: 8

Fabio Silva: 4

Aaron Wolff: 2

Kyle Sieras: 2

Tommy Powers: 2

Javier Valiente: 2

The Nerd's Match of the Week: Connor Cipris def. Kyle Sieras by SUBMISSION in 19:47 (3/10)

[angrywrasslenerd]

World Open 2023 Week in Review - Week One

A Block:

Kazuo Saji has been a top contender in the World Open since the tournnament began in earnest in 2018. In 2018, he came up close to winning A Block, but lost out to Kyle Sieras. In 2019, he again was in the money right up until the final night, scoring an impressive victory over Samael Tangaroa before getting spoiled by Fabio Silva on the final night. In 2020, he again wrestled strong all the way through the tournament, barely losing out to Armel St. Martin in the final night of the block. In 2021, he could've taken the whole thing if it weren't for The Fart Heard Round the World that was the debut of Murderer's Row. And in 2022, he won his block and made it to the finals, only to fall to Ultimo Cielo.

I'm bringing you this history lesson to emphasize what a surprise it was this week to watch good ol' Captain Dong trip over his own dick right out of the gate, getting rolled up by Jake Adair in under ten minutes on the first night of block action. In fact, Saji lost both of his matches this week, also taking a narrow loss to El Rey Dorado in one of the best matches of the week. In the interviews leading up to this tournament, Saji stated his intention to meet his friend Connor Cipris in the finals, but after a first week like this, his path to the finals is in doubt already

Jake Adair, meanwhile, kept the hits coming, rolling up both Kazuo Saji and Armel St. Martin in his first two matches of the tournament and creating a situation where he now has a tie-breaker over two of the top seeded talents in the block.  Jake has been on fire lately, finally starting to connect with SWA fans and get some big wins under his belt after coming into SWA carrying a huge chip on his shoulder and an Inside Wrasslin' "Most Hated Man in Wrestling" award back in 2019. While his 2022 Aftermath Championship reign was stopped short after only one defense by Hanami Watanabe (who would very quickly lose the title herself to Clint Oliver only a month and one defense later), Jake's ascendance over the last two years is undeniable, and this could very well be his year.

The biggest surprise of the A Block this week, though, goes to Carlos Ortega-Reyes, who somehow managed to keep it (it being that goddamn railroad spike) in his pants through both of his matches this week, fighting straight up and actually going to the mat with both Paul Lambert and Raye Groves. In fact, and I can't fucking believe I'm saying this, I think Carlos Ortega-Reyes vs. Paul Lambert is actually my match of the week for A Block. Ortega-Reyes continues to not officially put pen to paper for an SWA contract, but his inexplicable affection for SWA might actually be having a positive effect on him.

A Block Point Totals:

Armel St. Martin: 2

El Rey Dorado: 2

Kazuo Saji: 0

Jake Adair: 4

Carlos Ortega-Reyes: 2

Paul Lambert: 2

Adam Nishimura: 2

Raye Groves: 2

The Nerd's Match of the Week: Paul Lambert def. Carlos Ortega-Reyes by PINFALL in 20:50 (2/28)

B Block:

Things were much more stratified in B Block than A Block this week, with some very clear winners and losers.  Probably the biggest surprise among all that was Kyle Sieras being on the losers' pile, dropping decisions to both Aaron Wolff and Tommy Powers. In previous years it would've been practically unthinkable to see Kyle so low in the rankings, but his stock has taken a tumble ever since the breakup of the Redeemed, and especially the departure of his friend unimportantguy to Underground Wrestling Club. Myself, I never could understand why a good dude like Kyle would hang out with a raging fuckhole like unimportantguy, but the friendship seems to have been genuine enough, and Kyle just hasn't been the same ever since that jackass slipped out the back door. (Shout out to CRITICAL! Club poster unimportantguy, who's probably drafting an angry e-mail even as I type this. Get out of your mom's basement and go touch some grass, you fuckin' weirdo. Maybe you'll come out of the experience with better taste in wrestlers.) Without even a match against his friend and rival Raye Groves to look forward to, Kyle Sieras felt aimless and unfocused this week, and it definitely showed in his disappointing performances.

Other wrestlers in the Pile of Shame this week included Chad Jackson and Fabio Silva, who both had the misfortune to draw up Samael Tangaroa and Connor Cipris as their first two matches. Chad in particular got dominated by both men (shut the fuck up fangirls you know what I mean), dropping decisions to both in under ten minutes. Fabio, meanwhile, acquitted himself well in loss, standing and brawling with a kind of determination that we haven't seen from the big lug in a while. And look, when I'm saying something good about Fabio motherFUCKING Silva, you know he's done good.

As you may have guessed if you've been paying any goddamn attention to what I'm writing, the winners' pile for the week consisted of Samael Tangaroa and Connor Cipris. Connor in particular looked fired up as hell. In pre-tournament interviews, he mentioned how he meant to make up for missing the last three years' World Opens due to a combination of injury and family issues (for those who didn't know, Connor's father passed away from complications caused by severe COVID-19 in 2021). With the injury bug hopefully now behind him, Connor fought like hell this week, and is an early favorite to make the finals. In fact, Connor vs. Fabio in particular probably would've been my match of the week for B Block, were it not for one other match in the block that delivered exactly what we were all hoping it would.

My match of the week for B Block, though, has to go to Samael Tangaroa vs. Fabio Silva. Some were concerned that Fabio would be too softened up by Connor earlier in the week to give his all, but those concerns were, I am happy to report, misplaced. I know, right? Me? Praising Fabio motherFUCKING Silva twice in one post? But it was one of the bloodiest, most violent matches I can remember seeing in SWA, with both men looking like hamburger by the time Samael's hand was raised in victory. You all know how I love a good brawl, especially one as hate-filled as this, and any match where I can watch either of these two men get his ass beat is a win in my book. One where they both beat the shit out of each other? That's truly priceless.

B Block Point Totals:

Samael Tangaroa: 4

Chad Jackson: 0

Connor Cipris: 4

Fabio Silva: 0

Aaron Wolff: 2

Kyle Sieras: 0

Tommy Powers: 2

Javier Valiente: 2

The Nerd's Match of the Week: Samael Tangaroa def Fabio Silva by KNOCKOUT in 18:32 (3/3)

[angrywrasslenerd]

The Angry Wrasslin’ Nerd’s Wrassleviews: SWA Crescendo 2023

All right, you  sick fucks, I'm back on Tumblr now, so you can stop blowing up my other social media accounts asking when I'm going to update the blog. Twitter sucks, and so does wrestling, but one of them was way easier for me to quit, because for some reason I still love this stupid sport. So what better way to renew my relationship with this weird-ass hellsite than with a PPV review?

Armel St. Martin, El Halcon Loco Jr, Chad Jackson, Lexi Heart, and Hanami Watanabe vs. El Rey Dorado, Fabio Silva, Javier Valiente, Cerise, and Leticia Fujioka

Is it just me, or is it kinda weird how likeable Los Diablos have gotten over the last few years? Don't get me wrong, I'll hate that pile of dog vomit Fabio motherFUCKING Silva until I'm nothing but a sprinkling of ashes. But in the face of everything that's happened in SWA over the last few years, I just can't summon the outrage for these guys anymore. And as much as I hate to admit it, El Rey Dorado was one of the people who stepped up to defend SWA during Samael's 2019-2020 reign of terror. Maybe I'm getting soft.

You might notice that I'm talking about Los Diablos instead of talking about this match, and that's because this shit was kind of nothing. Not good, not bad, just there. There were brief flashes of something interesting with the developing rivalry between Lexi Heart and Hanami Watanabe causing some friction on their team, but overall this was just yet another SWA low-card multiman match. El Halcon Loco Jr. pins Javier Valiente and we're done.

The Nerd's Rating: It Existed/10

Aaron Wolff, Brandon Kennedy, and Valkyrie Jameson vs. Samael Tangaroa, Tommy Powers, and Olivia Powers

There's the deep sense of disgust and outrage I've been lookin for. Fuck Samael, fuck the Lords of Desolation, fuck Murderer's Row, and FUCK THIS MATCH. Oh and fuck Alex Morgainne for making me sit through this shitshow. Referee Karl Ryder might as well have not existed for all the good he did trying to keep things under control; it was absolute goddamn chaos from the moment the Lords hit the arena and charged the ring instead of waiting for the bell.

The only mercy about this reeking fucking garbage pile of a match is that it was short: Less than ten minutes after it started, Samael and the Power Plant gave up all pretense of trying to have a wrestling match, brought out chairs, and got themselves disqualified breaking them over their opponents' heads. Guess Sammy's still sore about  his former Brotherhood members joining Murderer's Row.

The Nerd's Rating: Concussions/10

Matt De Leon, Shannon Fulmar, and Regina Ibanez vs. Adam Nishimura, Brianna Dalton, and Raven Briars

Y'know, if SWA's going to keep doing all these multiman tag matches on their shows, they should follow the lead of other promotions and make some six-man tag belts so these teams have something to fight for. There's a free idea to freshen up your undercards, SWA. You're welcome.

At least this one brought the action. Matt De Leon is still angry about the breakup of the Redeemed, and it shows, because he went after Adam Nishimura like he owed him money. Shannon Fulmar and Brianna Dalton still hate each other's guts ever since the 2021 Queen of SWA tournament. And Regina Ibanez and Raven Briars were clearly both out to make an impression. So there was hate, intensity, and high-impact action galore in this one. To top it off, at just under 15 minutes, it was about the perfect length, too.

The moment of the match was definitely the finish. Brianna and Raven distracted referee Nadine Mathis for Nishimura to bring in a chair, only for fuckboy to walk right into a trio of low blows from the BHB team. By the time Nadine turned back around, all she could see was Nishimura tapping out to Oyes el Rugido del Leon? (Seriously Matt please come up with a shorter finisher name. You're bordering on Zach Sabre Jr levels here). Take that, you massive creep.

The Nerd's Rating: Sweet, Sweet Schadenfreude/10

Aguijon Tachibana vs. Clint Oliver

I don't fuckin' get Clint Oliver. From everything I've heard, this dude was a major fan favorite in Underground Wrestling Club. Despite that, he's aligned with the Lords of Desolation, and when he speaks, he sure seems to be onboard with Samael's latest line of cryptic horseshit about making SWA into the ideal hell. Yet, when he gets in the ring and lets his wrestling speak for him, we get great goddamn matches like this.

This match was a fast-paced, high-flying, blink-and-you'll-miss-everything affair between two ridiculosly agile dudes who put everything on the line for the Aftermath Championship. If you're a big fan of the junior heavyweight style, this here's your match of the night. Clint Oliver's shooting star press remains a thing of breathtaking beauty. But don't get carried away thinking that high flying was all this match had. Even if you aren't a big junior heavyweight fan, this match might well be your MotN. The hate between Samael and Los Diablos goes back a long time, and judging by this match, that hate definitely carries over to the members of Lords of Desolation. These guys rocked each other with every shot, and they're going to be feeling it into next week.

Unfortunately for Clint, he got way too focused on trying to finish the match with the Black Arrow. Aguijon Tachibana was more ready to take any opportunity he could to win, and Clint's repeated Black Arrow attempts made him predictable to counter. One poison rana into a buzzsaw kick later, we have a new Aftermath Champion.

The Nerd's Rating: Rules Ass/10

High Fly Heroes NEXT vs. The Divine Imperium

Stop me if you've heard this one: SWA's tag-team championships don't exactly have the best history. The division has been marred over the years by spotty, inconsistent investment on the part of management, leading to a chicken-or-the-egg problem of lack of teams and lack of fan interest. This was only exacerbated over the course of the last couple years, with DEFCON-1, Havoc Theory, and Tiger & Lion all departing for Underground Wrestling Club. Yet paradoxically, this has been a great period for tag-team wrestling in SWA, with a strong core division based around Miracle Hearts, and more recently, The Divine Imperium.

Yeah. The Divine Imperium. I should hate these women. Akiko Shimizu in particular is basically a co-founder of Lords of Desolation, as acknowledged by none other than the Grand High Shithead himself, Samael. After the entire four year bowel movement that was the Brotherhood of Fallen Angels, fans would be forgiven for reflexively wanting any wrestler who even vaguely associates themselves with Samael to die in a fire. But it's hard to hate champions who are this fun to watch. Watching Akiko Shimizu and Mizuki Yoshinaga in the ring over the last six months has been like watching one of those buddy cop movies where two people who can't stand each other are forced to work together, and slowly learn how to be an effective team. Y'know, except without the part where they ever stop fucking hating each other.

This match was no exception. The personal dysfunction between the two members of the Divine Imperium was matched only by how weirdly well they work together as a team in spite of it all. Watching Mizuki kick Akiko in the head to get her out of submission holds and pinning predicaments will never stop being hilarious. High Fly Heroes NEXT got very close to taking the championships a few times throughout this match, but at the end of the day, the SWA Tag-Team Champions retained through a mix of wrestling skill and personal animosity towards both their opponents and each other.

The Nerd's Rating: LMAO/10

Tigress Faridah vs. Gabriela Espinosa

Y'know, Gabby used to be a member of the Brotherhood of Fallen Angels. For years, she watched on with apparent glee as Samael did awful fucking things to people. She broke every rule imaginable, and did some truly heinous shit herself in her attempts to unseat Mieko Suzuyama during Mieko's dominant two-year reign with the joshi title. It would seem clear, based on that time, that Gabriela Espinosa is either a traitorous, backstabbing bitch, or a stone-cold fucking psychopath.

How times have changed! Ever since the breakup of the Brotherhood, Gabriela has turned over a new leaf (...ish, we'll get to that later), becoming one of the most consistent performers on the joshi roster. Not only that, but it took the breakup of the Brotherhood for Gabriela to finally lift the gold. This is hardly the only case of this. Turns out Samael was actually holding back the success of a lot of members of the Brotherhood with his horseshit.

Now, if only they could do something about the cheating. That's right, our girl went right from emulating one jackass faction leader to the next, and is now cheating just because she can even when she has her opponent beaten already. Just like our ol' pal El Rey Dorado. From putting her feet on the ropes for extra leverage to grabbing a handful of tights, Gabriela has mastered every way of getting the dirty pin, often after already hitting the goddamn Espinosa Driver. And tonight, it was a full moon in the arena when Gabriela pulled Tigress Faridah's pants down to score the shock rollup. Great match. Disgraceful fucking buffalo turd of an ending.

Okay, I guess I do still have some outrage left for Los Diablos.

The Nerd's Rating: God, WHY?/10

Carlos Ortega-Reyes vs. Ultimo Cielo

Remember early 2020? Loaded question, I know, but I'm talking about SWA here. It seemed like our long nightmare was over. Samael was out on his ass, and Paul Lambert was SWA Openweight Champion. The Vanguard were in, and the Brotherhood of Fallen Angels were finally fucking out. Paul made a promise to us, the fans, that he would be a fighting champion and we would see great title defenses from him. It seemed like the beginning of a new golden age for SWA and the Openweight Championship.

How I miss those more optimistic times.

We only ever actually got one of those promised great title defenses from Paul Lambert before N-Trio decided to take an upper decker on SWA with the introduction of Murderer's Row. Ever since then, this pea-testicled pack of fucking macaque's assholes have been ruining the prestige of the championship for going on two years. Throw Lords of Desolation back into the mix, and you've got a recipe for puke stew with diarrhea sauce.

Which is why it is with some degree of surprise that I must report to you that this match absolutely fucking rocked ass! Defying expectations, Ultimo Cielo and Carlos Ortega-Reyes asked their faction mates to go to the back and just proceeded to smash each other's faces in all across the building. Referee Toby Russell did what he does best and didn't do any goddamn officiating whatsoever, letting this absolute symphony of unrestrained violence go completely unchecked, and only intervening to count the final fall.

So credit where credit is due. Ultimo Cielo and Carlos Ortega-Reyes are sociopathic assholes that I hope I never meet up close, but both of them proved themsleves in a big way in this match, and I honestly wouldn't mind seeing more. The image of Ultimo Cielo caught in the STG, his mask hanging in shreds from his bloodied face, is going to stay with me for a long time. So is the image of him standing triumphant with the Championship after a successful defense, the blood still gushing down his mostly-unmasked face. If every Ultimo Cielo title defense was of this quality, I wouldn't hate the prick so much.

The Nerd's Rating: FUCKIN AWESOME/10

[angrywrasslenerd]

I can’t.

SWA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS BULLSHIT UGH. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING FABIO MOTHERFUCKING SILVA ANOTHER TITLE SHOT. WHY.

[angrywrasslenerd]

The Angry Wrasslin’ Nerd’s Wrassleviews: SWA Emergence 2017

Emergence has a weird place in the SWA PPV canon. It usually takes place right after or during a large group of debuts for the company, and the booking is often all over the place as the newcomers settle into their roles. In fact, this year’s Emergence was notable for not having a debut on it, and the only new talent on the show in a match of any note were DEFCON-1. No sign of new hires like unimportantguy or Tommy Powers (thank fuck), and El Hijo de Toxico was buried in the undercard in one of the more unspectacular SWA PPV matches in the last few years, but we’ll get to that quickly enough, because that match is first up.

BHB vs. Los Diablos A Study in Scarlet were a surprising team in this year’s SWA Summer Tag League. The unlikely teaming of Lina and El Hijo de Toxico made it all the way to the A-Block Finals before being eliminated by DEFCON-1. What was an even bigger surprise was the announcement that the duo were joining on with BHB, expanding the team from a tag operation to a full-on stable. This was our first chance to see the expanded BHB in action, with El Hijo de Toxico teaming up with Kazuo Saji to face the ever-annoying Los Diablos pair of Fabio Silva and Aguijon Tachibana.

This match could’ve been good. The matchup certainly had potential, but it devolved pretty quickly into the standard Los Diablos fuckfest; the exact same kind of horseshit we’ve been forced to tolerate on SWA TV for a year now. You all know the routine by now: Fabio Silva distracts the referee with steel chair shenanigans while Aguijon Tachibana shamelessly cheats his ass off behind the ref’s back. If there were ever any doubt that professional wrestling referees are the dumbest individuals on the planet, Toby Russel’s performance in this match was all the proof you need. The fact that Silva and Tachibana did end up getting disqualified at the end of it after a gallingly blatant double-team punt to Kazuo Saji’s groin is cold comfort. This match was feculent fucking garbage, and SWA should be ashamed of putting crap like this out there for the paying Pay-Per-View audience.

The Nerd’s Rating: Fuck this Stupid Shit/10

Samael Tangaroa and Blaze vs. The Kings of Summer Ominous tidings with this match-up, featuring the return of Samael Tangaroa to SWA PPV. Samael has always been a purveyor of fine, high-quality conspiracy theory whackjobness, and I’ve learned to tune most of it out at this point. But in the weeks leading up to Emergence, he started saying things about a Brotherhood, and mentioning that the end was night for SWA, and the last time he started talking like that, we got fucking Los Diablos. So let’s say I’m a bit nervous about what could be coming out of this.

The match itself was mostly nothing, leaving us 0 for 2 for good matches on this card. Kings of Summer were a fun little team in the Summer Tag League, but it was clear enough from the beginning that they weren’t going to be setting the world on fire. There were a couple wheezing gasps of hope for them, but the Tangaroa/Blaze team was fairly dominant here.

But why would Blaze team with Samael? What does he have to gain from this? Where is all this going? I have a bad feeling about this, guys.

The Nerd’s Rating: Mediocre/10

Beyond2000 vs. The Partycrashers Our third tag-team match in a row, and after the first two, I was already starting to feel pretty done with this shit, especially with the unnerving prospect of one of these great teams having to leave SWA forever. At this point in the evening, I was getting ready to write this Pay Per View off as a disappointment, but I’ll be damned if they didn’t choose that exact moment to kick this shit into overdrive. Both teams were at their very best, and this was the first really, honestly good match of the evening. I just don’t know if it was worth saying goodbye to Beyond2000 in SWA.

The Nerd’s Rating: I’m so Conflicted/10

Lina vs. Raye Groves Now we’re getting somewhere. After an admittedly tepid undercard, this PPV started really getting its wheels behind it here. Raye Groves had a dominant run as Aftermath Champion through the late spring and early summer, and SWA was remarkably cagey about who he would be facing at Emergence. While fan rumors went wild, SWA did not officially announce Groves’ opponent until the match itself, generating significant hype over who the “mystery opponent” might be.

When it came time, and Lina’s music hit the arena, the crowd came absolutely goddamn unglued, and that hype carried on through the match as these two wrestled their hearts out. Raye Groves has beaten some high caliber opponents in his time as Aftermath Champion, but Lina gave him the fight of his fucking life. Groves threw everything he had at Lina, from power throws, to mat submissions, to high flying, to outside brawling.  Lina brought it right back in spades, reminding everyone that she is, in fact, still one of the pound for pound strongest women in SWA as she slammed Raye Groves as if he weighed nothing at all. At the end of it all, the Little Big Man was that fraction of a hair slower than Lina, as she countered a Spinning Death Ray into the mother of all Stagecrashers for the win and the loudest pop of the night.

The Nerd’s Rating: Face-Melting/10

DEFCON-1 vs. High Fly Heroes The only problem with this match, really, was that it was on a card too flush with tag team matches. Four of the seven matches on the Emergence card were tags, and the audience was getting hungry for some singles action. Otherwise, this was easily the best of the night’s tags by a country mile, and a great showcase for the up-and-coming Sophie Volkov, who had ample opportunity to show off her power and technique as she threw Dash McCaine and Ashlynn Reed all around the arena. Unfortuantely, the night did not belong to the winners of the Tag League, as High Fly Heroes once again proved their ability to overcome the odds.

In all honesty, this match would probably work better in a vacuum, without the context of the show itself. Within the show, there were just too many other tags to make this match feel special. By itself, this could easily come across as a much better match. It’s a weird sensation when the show itself detracts from the match, but here we are.

The Nerd’s Rating: Worth re-watching/10

Kaori Nakajima vs. Mieko Suzuyama Sometimes, it feels really good to be wrong. I know I wasn’t alone in being surprised by the fact that this match even happened, and I certainly wasn’t alone in not having high hopes for it. While Suzuyama and Nakajima are known to be close friends and occasional tag team partners, it seemed pretty clear to most fans that the Joshi Ace was on a whole other level from her friend Nakajima.

Well, I don’t know if it was the venue that night, or what, but this match delivered. Kaori Nakajima proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she can be just as hard-hitting, just as technically sound, just as tough, and just as relentless as her more popular friend, and the resulting match had a lot of jaws being scraped up off the floor. I, for one, came away from this match totally ready for a critical re-examination of Nakajima’s body of work, and I’m pretty damn excited to see what she does as Joshi Champion!

The Nerd’s Rating: An Awesome Surprise/10

Connor Cipris vs. El Rey Dorado Okay guys, remember the Nerd of a couple months ago saying he was disappointed in Connor Cipris’ performance at Aftermath and hoped Cipris would have a better strategy going in to Emergence? Well halle-fucking-lujah. Christmas came five months early and this shit right here is exactly the reason to watch professional wrestling. This match had it all, baby. Technical mat wrestling, big counters, high-flying, some massive slams and suplexes, a tense brawl that went throughout the arena, and an absolutely heart-stopping finish.

And did I mention schadenfreude? That’s right, folks. Not only is the year-long reign of terror perpetrated by El Rey Dorado over, but he tapped the fuck out. Blade Breaker; middle of the ring; nowhere to go. After the past year of asshattery from El Rey Dorado and Los Diablos, watching him cry out in agony as he squirmed and struggled in a futile attempt to get out of the Blade Breaker was exactly what I needed. Seeing exactly how much it pained El Rey to tap out, knowing that it meant losing the title... oh man. It was just the fucking best. Goodbye to the fucktastic reign of El Rey Dorado, hello to your new SWA World Openweight Champion, Connor Cipris. May his second reign with the title be better than his first.

The Nerd’s Rating: Hell. Fucking. Yes./10