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anifffff · 2 days

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Praying that the blood doesn’t stain [rd]

Author’s note: I cried so much while writing this one, I don’t even know what to say to you, girls, this broke my heart. Thank you to the anon who requested insecure dad!Rúben, sorry this took such a huge turn 😭 Hope you somehow enjoy this!

Warnings: there’s mentions of death and blood in this one ‼️

wc: 2107 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

There’s no biggest joy in Rúben’s life than his family. You and your daughter, Matilde, really are the light of his eyes. The little girl has him wrapped around her tiny finger, he could never say no her.

“Daddy, can I paint your nails pink?” - the 4 year old would ask him in her cute voice.

“You want to paint my nails, Mati? Of course, but choose a pretty shade of pink that matches daddy’s game shirt, okay?” - he would say to her in a soft voice, always smiling at his baby.

Matilde would do everything with his dad. Anywhere Rúben went, Matilde was there too, always tightly held at his hip, or taking her slow baby steps towards her daddy’s direction.

And Rúben couldn’t stop thanking God, the stars, destiny, whatever put you in his way: the love of his life that made him a dad, the most important role of his life. Nothing could top the importance that you and Matilde had in Rúben’s life, he would always put his girls first. He never felt so happy, with his daughter on his lap and his wife by his side, living in your indestructible bubble of love.

But it all changed two years ago. Rúben will never forget that fateful afternoon, he was having a tea party with your baby, when he got the call from the hospital. A drunk driver hit your car while you were on your way home, making Rúben losing his other half, forever. The news hitting him like a shot in the chest, straight to the heart.

He will never recover from your absence, leaving him to raise the light of your lives all by himself. Matilde is now six years old, she has already started school, now learning how to draw her first letters. Rúben still cries himself to sleep every single night, thinking about you, about how unfair fate was to both of you. You just had your baby, Matilde was only four years old when she lost his mother.

He misses you so fucking much, and your daughter does too. Rúben finds it incredible how Matilde remembers so much of you, always remembering things that you used to say to her, plays and jokes that you had with her. Rúben secretly believes that you talk to her in her dreams, because it’s like she has you always by her side.

Rúben tries his best to not break down in front of your child, especially when she asks about you. It’s been tough for Rúben to be a single dad, missing your support, the way you always seemed to make every thing right. He never looked at another woman again, his eyes and heart belonging to his daughter only - as well as to you, forever. He still wears his wedding ring, never taking it off. He hates the fact that life didn’t allowed him to say goodbye to you, to give you one last kiss. The last time he told you he loved you was over the phone, while you informed him that you were on your way home. Him and Mati cheekily saying “we love youuuu”, over the phone, while Rúben would pretend to drink a cup of tea, wearing a tiara on his head and sitting besides Berny - the bunny, and Johnny - the bear, named after Bernardo and John Stones, Rúben’s friends and Mati’s uncles.

His friends and family never left his side, they notice that Rúben has never been the same again after what happened, everybody knows it.

Matilde is the only thing that can make him smile, making him feel alive as he teaches her how to write her name, paints ballerinas and flowers with her, cooks for her and teaches her how vegetables and fruits are important for her health. Rúben’s life mission is educating his girl in the best possible way he can, be by her side at all times and protect her from every one and every thing.

Every time Rúben looks at his daughter, his heart stings a little, she looks so much like you now. She has your eyes, your smile. At the same time, there’s nothing that he loves more than looking at his baby, resembling the love of his life so much, like you’re still with them.

He can’t do his daughter’s hair as pretty as you could, but Matilde is a gentle and caring girl, she always has a smile on her face and a compliment to give to her dad. “I love my ponytails daddy, you did great” - she would always notice every morning after Rúben would neatly comb her hair, using her favourite pink hair clips with butterflies on them.

She would thank him with a gentle kiss on his cheek, his favourite feeling in the world being the love of your daughter, the way she would tightly wrap her tiny arms around his neck when he would pick her up, how she would hold his hand while walking in the street, her loving kisses on her father’s face, and the way she laughs when his beard tickles her.

When Matilde is at school and Rúben founds himself alone, he lets his thoughts take advantage of him. You are always on his mind, there’s not a second when he isn’t thinking about you. But when nobody is watching, he cries his heart out, still questioning life about the reason why they took you away from him. He often goes to the cemetery, to talk to you, to tell you everything about Matilde - even though he knows you’re always watching over her, protecting your baby. He drops kisses on your grave, whispering how much he loves you, how much he misses you. And how badly he needs you more and more as time goes by. Matilde is getting bigger and she needed her mother too.

After he picks her up from school, Rúben is cooking dinner for the both of them, while his daughter is playing in the garden. He gets lost in his thoughts, unable to stop himself to think how the house is silent without you in it, how life was never the same.

His daughter’s cry takes him out of his trance. He immediately goes to search her outside, Matilde already running to meet her dad. Rúben’s heart breaks at the sight: his baby’s face is wet from all the tears, and her noise and chin are running blood.

Rúben immediately picks her up and rushes to the bathroom, sitting his daughter on the counter, while he tries to clean up her wounds. The little girl hisses and whimpers in pain, poor child fell while playing on the rocks - bruising her knees too. Rúben stops the bleeding and decorates his girl’s wounds with pink band-aids that have hearts in them. Those make Matilde smile a little bit, as she stretches her arms to hug his dad. Rúben holds her tightly, the girl hiding her sad face on his dad’s neck. He kisses her head non-stop, now lying in bed with his daughter still in his chest.

Matilde sleeps in Rúben’s bed now. It’s been like this since you passed away, he feels like he can’t sleep alone anymore - his nightmares about your accident chasing him every night.

The two of them stay silent as Rúben is still leaving kisses on his precious baby and stroking her back carefully. All of the sudden, there’s a little sound.

“Daddy?” - Matilde asks quietly, her voice sounding muffled from her face still being hidden on her dad’s neck.

“Yes, amor?” - Matilde knows a lot of portuguese now, understanding all the pet names and the lectures her father gives her sometimes.

“I miss mommy” - she admits with a little cry escaping her eyes.

Rúben closes his eyes and sighs. “I know, baby. I miss her too” - he admits to his daughter, his voice threatening to fail as well.

“Do you still love her, even though she’s not here with us?” - the little girl questions, her big brown eyes now looking up at his father, who kissed her forehead before speaking.

“Of course I do, filha. Have you stopped loving mommy?” - he asks her back and smiles when the girl firmly shakes her head ‘no’.

“You see, mommy is not physically here with us, but she’s always around. She’s always inside of us, here” - he points at the where his heart is located.

“In our hearts?” - Matilde confirms the place.

“In our hearts, baby. You know the necklace you wear every single day, since you were little?” - Rúben references the silver necklace that has a butterfly, a flower and the letter ‘M’ engraved on a plate in a round shape. You bought it and personalised it to gift it to your daughter.

The initial letter of her name, the butterfly - to let her know that she can always rebirth and become the best version of herself, and a flower - a tulip, to be more specific. The tulip is the flower that represent the perfect love, and you put it on her necklace so she can always remember that she is fruit of a gigantic and true love, yours and Rúben’s, and his mission is to teach her how to never set for anything less than the love his parents shared, that got her into his world.

“My necklace, yes” - the girl answers while her hand instinctively reaches to touch it.

“Mommy gave it to you, and while you have it on, she’s always looking down at you and protecting you. That’s why you can never take it off, Mati” - her father explained.

The girl just smiled at his father, and hugged him tightly, knowing that he is all that she has, but feeling in her heart that her mother is always by her side.

That night, while Matilde was peacefully sleeping in his chest, Rúben couldn’t fall asleep, no matter how hard he tried.

His mind was rushing from the previous events - remembering her face full of tears and blood, the conversation about you. Rúben can’t help but doubt himself as a father - it happens more often that he would like to.

It’s been two years, but he’s still discovering how to be a solo father, an adventure that he had to take on with his daughter - not really having a choice. And sometimes he can’t help but doubt his ‘daddy abilities’ - fighting himself for not being attentive enough to protect Matilde from hurting herself on those damn rocks. That’s his job, for fucks sake. He needs to pay full attention to his baby, to prevent this type of things from happening. He would never forgive himself if something happened to the light of his life.

He misses you, your advices. He misses your mom side, you were the perfect mother to Matilde, and he can’t help but imagine how would life be if you were still here with them. Matilde has a lot of your personality, she is extroverted, funny, smiley and bubbly - just like you were. There’s times where she gives Rúben some sassy answers, leaving him speechless, having an attitude just like yours. He looks at pictures of you two, when you started dating, and some pictures already after Matilde was born. He knows that the blood on Matilde’s wounds won’t stain her clothes, but the blood surrounding your loss will forever stain his heart, his mind, his life.

Life without you doesn’t seem worthy of living most of the times to him, but his baby is the only thing pushing him from the ground. She’s his partner in life now, filling his heart with love and laugh when all he wants to do is cry.

The moments when they sing in the car on their way to school, when Matilde makes Rúben dance like a proper ballerina - making him wear a pink tutu and all, make his life worth living. His baby’s laugh means the world to him, gives him strength and hope in a brighter future.

He wishes you were here with him, reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. But, the way your daughter starts stirring in her sleep, and holds herself tightly to him for comfort and protection, already looks like a sign to him. He’s a good dad, and he and Mati will never be alone, since they have the most beautiful and bright star looking down at them, protecting and guiding them - forever.

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anifffff · 3 days

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World Class

Chapter 7

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A/N; hello guys, so yeah - i went M I A again. Managed to do a whole university semester and didn't really end up writing any more of this. I'm sorry. Again this had been in the Archive for a while so I want to post it. The series i think is coming to the end, one more to go after this!

y/nmorrison

liked by ellatoone, alessiarusso and 200,000 others.

y/nmorrison celebration practice for the final 💪

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ellatoone the only moment where you weren't holding me up😂

alessiarusso something tells me these will not be our celebrations, my neck has hurt eversince 😅

judebellingham a celebration idea.. huh? this seems like a hard launch opportunity...

y/nmorrison @judebellingham i'm not sure you can hard launch once you've already made it official, my love ❣️

In the days leading up to the final, you couldn't help but feel yourself distancing further and further away from Leah. Despite the win against Australia, and spain around the corner, you found everytime you'd attempt to talk to Leah, either she''d be pulled back by Sarina, or you'd be on the phone to Jude or playing third wheel with Keira and Lucy.

At the dinner before the match, the tension between both of you was at an evident all time high. You could see a spare seat next to Leah, as she placed herself next to Rachel and Milly. As soon as you grabbed your dinner from the buffet, you made your way over to them, however before you could put your dinner down, Leah placed a water bottle over the seat, suggesting one of the coaches was sat there.

You felt suddenly uncomfortable, and also violated - as if you were in high school all over again being picked on by a bully. What made it worse was the fact that Leah was your best friend, and you knew deep down that it was your fault.

In all honesty, since the match against Australia and the massive news that Lucy had told Leah, you hadn't been in the mindset to truly think about the future of your career, whether that be at Arsenal or FC Barcelona or even just Real Madrid. Your heart strings were being pulled apart by the three things which you cared the most about; your boyfriend, your best friend and your career. It also became apparent that no matter what you decided to do someone was going to get hurt. Instead your mind had been focused entirely on this last match, much like everyone else. The training session had intensified to levels that none of you had expected, hours long past normal sociable times and into the night. Winning this final was everything to you all, and you knew deep down, that whilst your career remained a mystery, this was the one thing you could do that would make it up to Leah.

Instead of sitting down next to Leah, you made your way over to Alessia and Ella, both talking about celebrations they wanted to try if they scored the winning goal. As they see you walk over, alessia greets you with a massive smile, before asking you about what you celebration would be.

"I suppose i should do Judes one-" you smile when you mention his name. Both of them laugh and make fun of you for blushing.

"It would probably make sense- tho, you wanna have your signature one y/n." Alessia responds. She then goes on to make fun of Ella's stating that she didn't have one but rather just went through about every single emotion whenever she scored goal.

"There must be a Morrison special-" Ella asks, unsure if she was touching a nerve.

It was true, Noah had his own little celebration. It was something you remembered him doing as early as 5 years old. He'd take a bow, and then clap to all three stages of the auidience, before kissing his little wristband, which their mum had sewn on. That little gesture, always reminded you of how much of a home body your brother remained. Regardless of the fame and the talent he had, that little kiss on the wristband - which had his named engraved on the inside next to a old brighton and hove football badge - would remain a signature of his home.

"Yeah there is." You smile. As you explained his little celebration, how he had taught you from a young age to always thank the audience around you - you felt your heart begin to melt for the first time talking about your brother didn't hurt. A couple of the other girls started getting involved and one by one the group began to bond once again, each taking it in turns to come up with any kind of signature celebration they could do.

As the conversations split once again in the room, leah looked over to you quickly, giving you a smile before starting a conversation with beth. It was a reassuring smile. It was the same smile that Leah used to do whenever you were both stressed about something, it was a way of saying - its not your fault, don't worry. Though you felt like this time, as much as she tried to smile and be the bigger person, her heart was hurting,

Later that night, your phone buzzed with an incoming call from Jude. Hoping for a distraction from the tension with Leah, you eagerly answered.

"Hey, Jude," you greeted, trying to sound cheerful.

"Hey, love. How's everything going?" Jude's voice was warm and caring, but you sensed he was oblivious to the underlying tension you were feeling.

"It's a bit tense here, but I'm managing," you replied, trying to keep the conversation light.

"That's tough. But listen, I've got something exciting to share," Jude said, his voice tinged with enthusiasm. "While I was out today, I saw these amazing dogs at a park here in Madrid. They were so cute, and it got me thinking..."

Your heart sank a little. You knew Jude had been hinting about getting a dog together as a way to bring you closer, possibly even to Madrid. The thought was sweet, but it also added to your stress.

"Uh, that sounds lovely, Jude," you said, trying to hide your agitation. "But hey, let's not talk about dogs right now. How was your day otherwise?"

"Oh, sure, sorry about that," Jude said, sensing your discomfort. "My day was good, but I mostly thought about how much better it would be if you were here with me. I can't wait to see you tomorrow at the final. I've missed you so much, love."

His words were sweet, filled with love and longing. Despite your mixed feelings about the dog situation, you couldn't help but feel touched by his affection.

"I've missed you too, Jude," you replied, your voice softening. "Tomorrow will be a special day, no matter what happens."

"Absolutely," Jude said, his voice growing more romantic. "Tomorrow, we'll be together, and nothing else will matter. I love you, Y/N, and I can't wait to see you and talk about our future—dogs included."

His words, though well-intentioned, added to your internal turmoil. Yet, his love and excitement for your reunion were undeniable, filling you with a mixture of comfort and uncertainty as you ended the call, looking forward to seeing him tomorrow at the final.

"Love you too, Jude," you managed, trying to mask your hesitation. "And I can't wait to see you either. Let's catch up properly tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course, love," Jude responded, picking up on your attempt to change the subject. "We'll have all the time in the world to talk. Just know that I'm here for you, no matter what you're going through."

"Thank you, Jude," you said, grateful for his understanding. "I really appreciate that."

"And hey," Jude added, his voice filled with warmth, "whatever happens tomorrow, whether we win or lose, remember that I'm proud of you and I love you more than anything."

Tears welled up in your eyes at his heartfelt words. "Thank you, Jude," you repeated, your voice trembling with emotion. "I love you too, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Sleep well, love," Jude said softly, sensing your emotional state. "Dream of happier times, and remember that tomorrow is a new day filled with possibilities."

With a final exchange of loving words, you ended the call, feeling a mix of emotions—love from Jude, tension with Leah, and uncertainty about your future. Yet, despite it all, you felt a glimmer of hope that tomorrow would bring clarity and a chance for healing in all areas of your life.

As the night wore on, sleep eluded you. Tossing and turning in bed, your mind raced with thoughts about the upcoming final, the weight of Noah’s legacy, the tension with Leah, and Jude’s hint about moving to Spain. The pressure was suffocating, each thought adding to your anxiety.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you got out of bed and made your way to the bathroom, hoping a splash of cold water on your face might help. But as you looked at your reflection in the mirror, the floodgates opened. Tears streamed down your face as the weight of everything came crashing down on you.

Sinking to the floor, you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to find some semblance of calm amid the storm of emotions. Each sob felt like a release, yet the overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty lingered.

“Why is this so hard?” you whispered to yourself, the question echoing in the silent bathroom.

Minutes or maybe hours passed as you sat there, lost in your thoughts and fears. Finally, with a deep, shaky breath, you decided to face the day ahead, no matter how daunting it seemed.

You splashed some water on your face, took a few more deep breaths, and steadied yourself. As you looked at your reflection again, you made a silent promise to give your all in the final, to honor Noah’s legacy, and to find a way to navigate the complexities of your personal life.

As you tried to compose yourself, the door creaked open, revealing Leah, who had stepped out of her room. Seeing you in such a vulnerable state, she immediately dropped her guard.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Leah’s voice was filled with genuine concern as she hurried over to you.

Before you could respond, Leah wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a comforting hug. Despite the tension between you two, her embrace felt reassuring, a rare moment of solace amid the chaos.

“Come on,” Leah whispered, leading you gently into her room. “Let’s talk.”

Inside her room, Leah closed the door behind you, creating a private space where walls could come down and truths could be shared.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Leah began, her eyes filled with regret. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away. We’ve been best friends for too long to let this come between us.”

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time, they were different—tinged with relief and gratitude. Leah’s willingness to mend the rift between you was a balm to your wounded soul.

“I’m sorry too, Leah,” you replied, your voice trembling. “I’ve been so caught up in everything—Noah’s legacy, the final, Jude, the idea of moving to Spain—.”

Leah took a deep breath, her gaze unwavering. “Y/N, I can’t lose you. If that means you moving to Spain with Jude, then… then so be it.”

Your heart ached at her words, torn between the love you felt for Leah and the future you had envisioned with Jude. “Leah, I just don’t know,” you admitted, shaking your head.

“You don’t know?” Leah’s voice cracked, disbelief evident in her tone. “I thought you were set on moving.”

“No, Leah,” you replied, your voice trembling. “Jude mentioned getting a dog, moving to Madrid, but I never said yes. I’m so confused.”

A heavy silence filled the room as Leah processed your words. Finally, she spoke, her voice softer, filled with understanding.

“Y/N, you should follow your heart,” Leah said gently, her eyes searching yours. “Whatever that may be, I want you to be happy.”

As Leah led you outside to the balcony, the cool night air enveloped you both, and the city lights twinkled below, casting a soft glow on the scene before you.

“Do you remember,” Leah began, her voice filled with warmth, “when we’d sneak out late at night to play soccer in the park? Just the two of us, chasing after our dreams.”

A smile spread across your face as the memory flooded back. “Oh, how could I forget? We’d stay out until the stars began to fade, pretending we were on the biggest stage, scoring the winning goal.”

Leah chuckled, her eyes shining with mischief. “Yes, and remember how we’d argue over who got to be the striker? We’d each take turns, practicing our victory dances for when we scored.”

You laughed, the vivid memory making your heart swell with nostalgia. “Yes, and you always had that signature celebration, the one where you’d slide on your knees and point to the sky.”

Leah’s eyes sparkled at the mention of it. “And you, Y/N, with your infectious laughter, you’d spin around, arms wide open, soaking in the imaginary applause from the crowd.”

The two of you shared a moment, lost in the memory of simpler times, when dreams were big, and the world seemed full of endless possibilities.

Leah turned to you, her eyes filled with determination and hope. “I see it, Y/N. I see us holding up that trophy tomorrow—just like in our childhood memories. But this time, it’s not made of tin; it’s real.”

Her words resonated with you, reigniting the fire within. The dream you both had as kids was now within reach, a tangible goal that could become reality.

As you were about to head back inside, Leah turned to you once more, her gaze sincere. “He’d be proud, you know.”

A soft smile graced your lips as you replied, “I know.”

“But don’t do it for him,” Leah added gently, “do it for you.”

Her words lingered in the air, a poignant reminder that while honoring Noah’s legacy was important, your journey was ultimately about finding your own path, fueled by your own dreams and aspirations.

"It was always my brother's dream to be at a World Cup final," you began, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. "But more importantly, it was my dream too—one that could become a reality tomorrow."

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