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Okay– you guys want another cute story about my parents and food?

So my mother is an amazing baker. And as I mentioned in a reblog of the Oranges post, my parents now always keep fresh fruit in the house – particularly bananas (my dad likes them with his breakfast). And whenever the bananas go brown, mom makes (really goddamn delicious) banana bread.

My parents are very avid outdoorsy folks and do a lot of hiking. They live in a mountainous region and basically climb a mountain every weekend (most of the mountains here are under 6,000 feet, but rocky), including in the middle of winter. Because cold and exertion eat through your blood sugar, they always pack trail snacks, and they developed a tradition of bringing a mini loaf of mom’s banana bread that they share on the summit.

Now a few years ago my father was having a midlife crisis and decided he was going to hike a REALLY big mountain. So he signed up for an expedition to climb Mt. Denali in Alaska – the tallest peak in North America. The group he was going with had a trip planned where everyone would be responsible for hiking with and carrying their own gear, so you had to be prepared to hike up a big fuckoff mountain in potentially treacherous conditions with a heavy pack.

My mother was not going on this expedition (she has problems with altitude sickness) but dammit, she was not going to let my dad go get himself killed by being unprepared. So in the year leading up to his climb, she kinda became his personal trainer. They hiked the local mountains a lot and in all kinds of weather conditions, practiced rope training and crevasse rescue techniques, and she made sure he practiced climbing with increasingly heavy packs until he was hauling around 65lbs of weights on his back. Sometimes she would even sit in a sled in the snow and make him pull her. 

When the trip finally came, dad was incredibly excited, and amused that his gear pack actually ended up being lighter than his practice pack. A number of other folks in the expedition had practiced going up a stair machines with weight on their backs, but mom had dragged dad through all the really rocky, treacherous trails around here with ice and water crossings, so he had solid balance from really moving with that amount of weight. Over the course of the climb (which took a couple weeks), half of the hikers ended up turning back (for various reasons), but despite being the oldest in the group, dad was one of the few to summit. 

And on the day he made it to the top, at 20,310 feet of elevation, he pulled out of his pack, wrapped in foil and mostly frozen but intact despite the long trip, a loaf of my mother’s banana bread, to eat on top of the world. Because, he said later, even if she wasn’t there with him, she was the reason he made it to the top.

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Speak of the Devil

part nine

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Speak of the Devil part 8

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funniest shit is going down on discord rn

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I so hate that greed is characterized as fatness, as if I couldn't snap Jeff Bezos like a twig.

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still not over the stephen colbert thing, the way they're punishing him so much by not only essentially firing him but cancelling the show he loves in its entirety, which means also punishing all 200 people who work for and with him on the show.

it is setting an example. it's saying, "this is what happens when you speak truth to power. we will not only punish you. we'll punish the people around you that you've led and loved. is it worth it now, stephen? would it be worth it, other late night talk show hosts? if you don't keep quiet, we will quiet you". the other late night talk show hosts are not all under paramount (iirc, it's just the daily show), but this sets a precedent that tells them they are all vulnerable.

"it's not a big deal" idk man it really seems like it is

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My beloved was trying to made a joke and ended up saying the phrase Wizards and Wagons.

I was like, wait hold on. There’s something here. This could be the new eldritch Oregon trail. You could be a little guy in a wagon pulled by a massive boar we considered owlbear but let’s be honest they’d be the shittiest draft animal.

You have to traverse weird magical terrain to reach the perfect place to build your wizard tower. You need to find the right mix of rocky cliffs or ominous woods, you can’t be building your wizard tower down the road from a bakery, what kind of wizard would that make you.

Different side quests appear as you travel letting you level up or die and if you get powerful enough to get to build the most bitchin’ tower around but if you’re too low level you end up with a tiny stone hut and everyone laughs at you. Or you die. I imagine players would die a lot much like OG Oregon trail.

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you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

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ma'am, I'm going to place you on a brief hold while I look for a reaction image

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I'll always talk up internet radio stations because I don't think the average person is aware that they're free, can run in your browser (or in any program that can connect to them), work on your phone, run better than a youtube tab, and give you a much better selection of music than you could get from a general algorithmic playlist

(also lots of them have live shows which you can tune into for free)

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I’ve been streaming a little more lately, here’s a very determined mage and an attempt at playing with colors !

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Confession: The letter “t” key on my laptop has been broken since 2024. From what my research tells me, they can’t fix individual keys on that model, and my laptop is no longer under a warranty, but it seems foolish to fork out over $900 for a new computer, so instead I’ve trained my brain to hit ctrl+v every time I want to hit “t.”

But sometimes I have to copy-paste something else besides “t,” which means I need a readily available place to copy the “t” from.

My first thought was to search “tiger” on Google, but if you can’t type the letter “t,” you just get search results about Bob Iger.

I realized words that end with “t” are easier for Google to autocomplete, so the first one I thought of was “crypt.” But wouldn’t you know, googling “cryp” takes to you to cryptocurrency results, and I REALLY don’t want my algorithm thinking I google that multiple times per week.

Then I remembered a cool place I went in London, called Cafe in the Crypt. It’s exactly what it sounds like and located below St. Martin-in-the-Fields Church. When I type in “Cafe in Cryp,” Google does indeed autocomplete it effectively! So I either keep that search result open in a tab or Google it every day.

So, that being said, if anyone works for St. Martin-in-the-Fields Church’s marketing department and has been utterly flummoxed by an IP address from Virginia that has googled their cafe hundreds of times over the past 6 months… that wasn’t a bot, that was me.

I am the Spiders Georg of Cafe in the Crypt.

Anyway, it’s a pretty cool place to check out if you’re ever in London. Just maybe not cool enough to Google it on a daily basis for months straight.

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i have final destination premonitions all the time but instead of seeing death i see all the possible liquids i could knock onto my laptop

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plane tickets should be Free if you miss yuor friends