ankford - Tumblr blog

[ankford]

this guy suuuucksss he can't catch anythingggg

[ankford]

Kids these days don't know what the fuck a liminal space is anymore but they use it to describe fucking EVERYTHING.

[ankford]

[x]

[ankford]

[ankford]

[ankford]

after being mutuals for a certain time tumblr should give you a coupon for a free trip to hang out with them

[ankford]

Texts From Superheroes

Facebook | Threads | Patreon | Instagram

[ankford]

I just....I just learned that there's a word in the English language...for when you run into someone to hug them with all the enthusiasm and strength you have....I learned that it's called glomp.

My God, English has so many words to describe physical intimacy, I'm in love

[ankford]

Honesty

[ankford]

[ankford]

Which is Your Black Cat?

[ankford]

bad

[ankford]

Liquid dog

[ankford]

A young boy says to his father "Dad, our maths teacher is asking to see you." 

"What happened?" The father asks.

"Well, she asked me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answered '63' , then she asked, 'and 9 * 7?' So I asked 'what's the fucking difference?'

"Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from school and says, "Dad, have you gone by the school?"

"Not yet."

"Well when you do, come and see the gym teacher also."

"Why?" asks the father.

"Well we had a gym class today, and he asked me to raise my left arm, I did. Then my right arm, I also raised it. Then he asked me to lift my right leg, so I did. 'Now,' he says, 'lift your left leg,' so I asked, 'What, am I suppose to stand on.... my cock??'"

"Exactly," says the father. "Alright, I'll come."

The next day, the boy asks his father "Did you go to the school?" "No, not yet."

"Don't bother, I got expelled."

Surprised, the father asks "Why did you get expelled?"

"Well, they summoned me to the principal's office, and sitting there were the math teacher, the gym teacher, and the art teacher."

"The fuck was the art teacher doing there!?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!"

[ankford]

[ankford]

it's cute really, how excited humans get when the sky blinks

[ankford]

Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes