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mostafa-moradi
Untitled
kristinthorogood
Kristin Thorogood (a_girl_in_)
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Mesothelioma Help Cancer Organization
femifaronbi
femifaronbi
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i am beautiful though. you should get used to that or else you’ll keep getting distracted.
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haha being jealous of kids who don’t even really exist never goes away i guess
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it’s not a secret but i’m definitely not gonna tell you
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2024
reading more books, scrolling less
being famous for my beauty and personality
more cardio and more yoga
creating art for fun
finessing gcses
getting hotter
eating less sugar eating more greens
having fun being happy
getting real shit done and being clever
staying moisturised, exfoliated and hydrated
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Well, I’ll be on my way now
a note on 2023, 2024, and what came before it
the first three years of my teenage life have been years of constant growth. my goals were constantly changing, as was my identity, but ultimately everything brought me to this point. I obviously wasn’t expecting or predicting being here, mostly because I was so long sighted and didn’t really see being 16 as important. I could treat 2024 as another year of personal development, but something is telling me that 2024 is the year i put what i’ve learned into practice.
this year especially, people revealed themselves to me. a lot. whether they did it consciously or not, I learned that i don’t know anybody who i need to be afraid of. I also learned that people respect and admire me (and have done for a long, long time) way more than I thought. so basically, I don’t see myself being preoccupied with other people’s opinions much next year. this year showed me a version of me that I love, and that’s all that really matters.
what I’m really saying here is that, despite how much i’ve changed and grown since 2021, it has all practically been one phase of my life. 2024 would be the first year truly distinct from the last few of my life. different friends, different goals, different lifestyle, different interests. different opinions. even my thoughts are different. what i think distinguishes me the most from me in the past few years is the respect i have for each younger version of me. I used to be ashamed and regretful of who I was. while that’s reasonable, I don’t see things like that anymore. I can admire those past versions of me as well as seeing the strong parts of myself in her. essentially, the security and familiarity i have with myself now translates into seeing the best in the versions of me i hated.
there are new parts of myself that weren’t there before as well. my discipline and work ethic are both new. my boldness. my faith and trust in myself. my commitment. I think that these traits are manifestations of my mental progress over the last few years, and that’s another reason I feel different.
i used to be scared of going “off track” and not doing the things i set my heart on doing. it was being a fashion designer for a while (lol). in hindsight, I definitely just needed a big ambition to passively teach me to overcome the things that would hold me back later. wanting something that seemed out of reach meant jumping through so many hurdles and facing so many parts of me that I would’ve never addressed otherwise. I probably wouldn’t have turned into a girl who is this strong and powerful without that experience. i think that’s what it was for, more than actually becoming a fashion designer. don’t stress, little me.
I figure there’s a reason I recognised the distinction between me now and me before at this point in the year. It’s time for a completely fresh start and a different approach because I am the person I wanted to be for so long now. I used to be motivated by becoming someone else. but now i’m motivated by using who I am to get what I want. so, I am now saying goodbye to who I was. not because I don’t like her. I love her the way she deserves to be loved (so so much). but i don’t think i’m meant to sit at this table anymore. i have somewhere else to be now.
I’m honestly excited to see who I’ll become next year because I like who I ended up being this year, and because I am going somewhere completely new. bring it on.
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look in the mirror and remember who you are. this is the girl all the hype is about. it’s you.
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i need to be pushed to do my best. but nobody will do that for me yet so i’ll do it myself.
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