annathesimple

[annathesimple]

who let this bird on the train

[annathesimple]

why the fuck should it matter to me if a national identity was created in 19th or 20th century if people are being killed for it right now. is everyone okay

[annathesimple]

[annathesimple]

[annathesimple]

learning about death as a child is stressful, but it's a natural thing, you calm down soon. learning about violent death is a little scary. learning about unpunishable violent death will never make you calm down again. political murder, shooting protesters, bombings, it takes your whole life and throws it out of the window. why would you ever think that people you see every day in your cultural landscape, you cultural area, will lie down in puddles of blood? i barely remember this first feeling because it was 10 years ago

[annathesimple]

you know, it kinda sucks to hear about your hometown a lot in the news, especially back in the day, but for all the wrong reasons. Oh Mariupol — one of the greatest tragedies of this war. The tyranny, the painful memories of what we could have had stripped away in an instant. I never had any concrete dreams but I had a plan for my future there, now — gone. I don't know what to even do. It is disgusting what happened to the city. All warmth I had about it is gone, now just a tear breaking nostalgia. Yes my school still stands — now it is riddled with propaganda, first thing these nazis did was cover all Ukrainian symbolism there. My home is still standing — I am not there anymore, everything about it now is just painful to think about. Cold scary nights and days in complete isolation from the outside world, thinking I would die at any moment, thinking that my best friend is dead, crying over everyone I know who doesn't know where I am and if something happened, loud sounds: tanks, grenades, aviation, shelling, bombing, anything, constantly, every day, thinking my only family here could be dead when I am home alone when they haven't returned for the whole day, screams in agony of people who got injured, dead bodies on the streets, lack of proper food(thankfully we didn't run out).

If you think that russians are building a better society there, think again, because in no way in hell this is a logical conclusion to get to. "russian speaking communities were oppressed by Ukrainian government" no we weren't, I tell you this as a person who spoke solely russian in my family and with fiends. We were in 0 danger from Ukraine's side but in all by russians. I didn't have a problem speaking russian before, I was born like that, it was normal. Now I only speak this language with family and close friends, in no way I'm going to be using it openly on the internet. "Oh but they are building new houses there" they were the ones to destroy them. All of them. Now they are moving their people in there. They are proud of what they've done. Sounds like Generalplan Ost of modern times to me. And I'm also going to mention that's the same thing USSR was doing back then too. Occupation, erasure of cultures. russia is a colonial empire. It will be for as long as it has all its current territory.

I became dull to all these memories, they don't seem real or matter that much to me, when they should. I am not going to be the one to downplay this war. It is horrifying.

[annathesimple]

It is your sworn duty, when you're in your 30's, to do something every day that would have gotten you viciously bullied in high school.

[annathesimple]

A staircase leading to one of the Drowned Halls of the House. Piranesi illustration on ammonite.

Available

[annathesimple]

Ursula K. Le Guin

[annathesimple]

Mother and child training longsword in Chile, at the Centro Esgrima Histórica

[annathesimple]

anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

EDIT: let's use this post for something good. if you are considering being annoying in my notes, please instead consider donating to gaza soup kitchen. thanks!

[annathesimple]

on watching a parent age

i saw somebody say “what if you’re gone and i haven’t become anything yet” and basically that broke me on a random thursday evening

[annathesimple]

when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

[annathesimple]

I'm turning 30 this month, and for some reason have become suddenly interested in material possessions. like what if,,,,,,,,my couch was nice. what if my sheets were nice. is this what happens to you??

[annathesimple]

born myself by 박인주 (park inju), 2023, unknown materials, unknown dimensions

[annathesimple]

americans see their government bombing other nations and all they can talk about is me me me oh my god the world war is here what'll happen to me? unfunny jokes about world war genz dark humour with no regard whatsoever for people losing their lives, in constant state of danger because what about me? me? me???

[annathesimple]

if you're writing and find yourself thinking 'this is too weird/gross/offputting/esoteric/ambitious/catered to my specific interests + sure to push away a broader audience' that is the devil speaking and it is a lie. you are already firmly on the right path and you need to double down