annie-rereads

[annie-rereads]

Annie Rereads Immortal Beloved by Cate Tiernan

Immortal Beloved Chapter 3

I have read this book mulitple times and the two that follow. The main character, Nas, and her journey of growth throughout the story is something that I admire. This tale of self-discovery, love, and healing is something that I haven’t found in many other books and I find that its a realistic take on the journey to change.

I watched him in the rearview mirror as he walked down the road. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and the way his jeans hugged his butt was a rare treat.

Oh lol, okay Nas. SO our first impression of the man we just met, Reyn, was rather neutral last chapter, but this chapter spares no time showing us what Nas thinks of him. He’s attractive to her, and I like how the author did not avoid more mature lines of thought or dialogue. These lines are the things Nas is really thinking and she’s an adult. She’s lived a long life. It makes sense that she’d think stuff like this and it provides humor for the reader. We also learn more about Nas’s appearance. She’s also realized through the power of Hot Man that she looks rather unhealthy. Her lifestyle would lead to an unhealthy physical appearance and these first chapters are doing well in setting the groundwork for Nas’s future changes. She undergoes many physical, mental, and social changes throughout the story.

On the plane coming over, I’d realized that besides Incy crippling the cabbie, despite my disgust at my lack of action, despite my paranoia about Incy’s seeing my scar, it had been a hundred, a thousand other things leading up to that, chipping away at my insides until I felt like a shell aith nothing alive left in me.

Like most big changes to the self, it’s not just the inciting incident that leads to the want to change. It’s the memories of all the other things that made you feel a little bad in the past, even if those things were small and brushed off. Nas has hit a point where she can’t forgive herself for her actions and she’s rightfully horrified, but that doesn’t mean that there weren’t things before this. It would be unrealistic for her record to be spotless except for this one incident with the cabbie.

If I were a regular person, I’d be tempted to kill myself. Being me, I had almost collapsed with hysterical laughter when I realized that even if I managed to cut off my own head, I wouldn’t be able to make sure it was far enough away from my body for long enough to actually kill me.

Nas considers her options before getting out of the car and walking up to the house. She could attempt suicide, but it wouldn’t work. Chances are she’d just have to live with the aftermath of trying to chop her own head off and she’s right to be concerned and uncomfortable with the idea of that regrowth stunt. She also considers hiding in the car for forever, but that’s also not an option. She’s immortal and cannot die unless killed.

But she was watching me, and it was clear that intended for me to make the first move.

Our first scene with River, this one althought many quickly follow, is that she’s waiting. I like that River waits on Nas to make the decision to get out of the car. It’s important that Nas makes this decision for herself and sees in through all the way herself.

“It used to be a Quaker meetinghouse,” River explained, heading upstairs.

Our first conversation with River is one that is very welcoming, almost motherly. River takes no care in hiding her age, which is very old, born in 718 in Genoa, Italy. She introduces us to the setting we will spend most of our time, a home for wayward immortals. It’s a farm too, there’s no lying to the local community, but the residents are entirely immortal. It is also a school as River says there are 4 teachers and 8 students.

“... But just to be clear, this isn’t a spa or a hotel. It’s sort of a combination kibbutz and rehab. There’s work to be done, and we all do it. There’s stuff, hard and painful, that you’ll have to learn. Over the years we’ve come up with systems that work for us, and we��re not interested in someone coming her and insisting our rules don’t apply.”

River here may bring forth the memory of strict schools that made no exceptions for their students even when one was needed, but only at first. River is right to say this because it’s important lay boundries even in a place that’s similar to rehab.  A kibbutz is a collective community in Israel that was traditionally based on agriculture, according to a quick Google search, so River is also retelling Nas that this is also a farm and she’s expected to help work the crops. River may be setting boundries here, but I think fondly on the fact that she genuinely does want to help Nas, is happy that she’s here, and does her best to help. River is a very genuine person with a lot of history and that makes her a very good person to help others.

“Four hundred,” I said. “Four hundred and fifty-nine.”

Nas is old, very old. Born in 1551, if she were alive today, she’d be 169. That also means this book takes place in 2010. River on the other hand, born 718, would be over 1,000 years of age. Jesus, they’re old!

The chapter ends with Nas settling into her room, one more conversation with Reyn that is just as unimformative as the first (although he comes off as unwelcoming especially compared to River), and with Nas committing to stay for a while until a plan 2 appears in her mind.

[annie-rereads]

Annie Rereads Immortal Beloved by Cate Tiernan

Immortal Beloved Chapter 2

I have read this book mulitple times and the two that follow. The main character, Nas, and her journey of growth throughout the story is something that I admire. This tale of self-discovery, love, and healing is something that I haven’t found in many other books and I find that its a realistic take on the journey to change.

After some of the events I’ve witnessed, the Incy/cabbie/magick/neck night should seem like a party. I’ve raced away in the night, clinging to a horse’s mane, with a city behind me burned to the ground. I’ve seen bodies covered with the oozing sores of the bubonic plague, piled high in city streets like logs because there wasn’t enough people alive to bury them. I was in Paris on July 14, 1789. You never forget the sight of a human head on a pike.

But we aren’t at war now. We were living an ordinary life, or as ordinary a life as an Immortal can have.

Chapter 2 finds Nas in the immediate aftermath of the cabbie night. While we know she’s running, we having quite gotten to the running part of the story yet. Nas goes over things she’s experienced, all of them truly horrible, and the reasons why this new horrible thing shouldn’t phase her. Except it does, and that makes sense. While one can get desensitized to horrible acts (something I’ve seen my generation talk about often enough), those horrible acts are still going to effect you. Especially if they happen during peace time. Yet, it also shows that while Nas did a terrible thing by walking away, she isn’t a bad person. She knows what she did was wrong and that’s important if your story is going to include massive growth of a character.

In the paragraphs following this introduction, Nas makes mention of “northern raiders” and “berserkers”, which are a group of people that come into play later in the story.

Fun Fact: One of the things that Nas says she experienced is the storming of the Bastille which occured on July 14th.

Where had Incy gotten that spell? Yes, we’re Immortal, we have magic running through our veins, but one has to learn on purpose how to use it. Over the years, I’d known some people who were all about studying magick, learning spells, learning whatever they needed to learn to wield it. But I’d figured out a long time ago that I didn’t want to. I’d seen the death and destruction that magick could cause, I’d seen what people were willing to do to pursue it, and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I wanted to pretend it didn’t exist. And I’d found some like-minded aefrelyffen (an old word for immortals), and we hung out.

It’s important that Nas provides us context on magick, alongside the nature and rules of Immortals as she does later. It’s important that we, as readers, know that what Incy did has to be sought out. Magick has to be learned, and if Nas’s learning later on is anything to go by, it also has to be practiced. This makes what Incy did more disturbing because if he learned to a man’s back in a similar way that Nas learns to put ristrictions on her magick, then it means Incy practiced on other people.

Nas also gives examples of ways she’s used magick, all small which is probably because she doesn’t like to use it. She’s seen what magick does to people and boy has she seen things. She also used magic for the same things we all probably would. For all that her snark and actions might rub a reader the wrong way, these almost petty uses for magick endears her to us just a little.

To me he was sweet and generous and funny and fun, willing to go anywhere, do anything. He was the one who would call me to go to Morocoo at a moment’s notice. The one I’d call to get me out of a jam.

Simple friendly things like this are called into question in a later book, where we find out that Nas was actually reluctant to a lot of Incy’s “go here, do this” attitude.

We would howl about it afterward, falling together, laughing until tears came out of our eyes. The fact that we’d never been lovers, never had that awkwardness between us, only made it more perfect.

Incy and Nas’s friendship really does seem good and wonderful, similar to that almost to the friendships plenty of real people have. Except Incy did something terrible and its reminiscent of the times were you find out your friend wasn’t the kind of person you thought they were. And it’s incredible that they were never lovers, that it never came up for them, not even as a one-night-stand. And I can almost understand why, as later we find out that Incy was obsessed with her power. He had everything he wanted: unfathomable power and a friend to pull around to enjoy all his whims.

It was as if I’d woken up into a different life from the one I’d woken up into yesterday, and I was a different person. And this life and I were both suddenly much darker and grosser and more dangerous than I’d realized.

What Nas is feeling is familiar to me, having gone through some dark things myself (although nothing like she has). I like to think that its a common trauma or shock response to feel as if the world is different and darker. Because in that aftermath it is, as you’ve gone through something that was truly horrible. A big part of healing is moving on and out of that darkness, and realizing that that thing was out of your control and is not reflective of how the world is in its entirety.

Except for me. The mark on the back of my neck was a burn, and I’d had it since I was ten years old. It had never faded, never changed, and the skin was slightly indented, patterned.

We find out more about the mysterious thing on Nas’s neck! It’s a scar that’s been there since she was young, and unlike all other scars or injuries that Immortals get, it hasn’t changed at all. It was caused by magic, powerful magic, which explains why its never changed. And the reason everyone who has seen her scar is dead is because they were all probably mortal themselves. Incy is probably the first Immortal to see it, ever. And even if he doesn’t automatically know what it means, he can certainly find out. And now we’re left with the question of what magical object caused it?

It said, Trevor Hollis, 48, an independent taxicab driver, was attacked last night by one of his fares and suffered a broken spine. He is in the ICU of St. Jame’s Hospital, undergoing tests. Doctors have said he will likely be paralyzed from the shoulders down. He has been unable to name or describe his attacker. His wife and children have been at his side.

And suddenly we know about the cabbie and it makes the situation somehow so much worse. He is a father! He has a wife! It’s unclear if he was the sole provider for the family but either way this is devestating to them. And he can’t name his attackers which gives an excuse as to why he never appears again. We never do learn his ultimate fate though, never learn if he’s permantly paralyzed which is very likely unfortunately.

Finally, at about eight, I got up and went to my bedroom and pulled out my biggest suitcase, the one that could hold a dead pony. (Before you go there, I’ll clarify that it never has.)

Hahaha. We all have that one friend that would ask that question. I would. I am that friend. All my friends are that friend.

“Mr. Bawz and Mr. Innosauce were looking for you, Miss Nastalya,” he told me. I’d always been amused at how he butchered all of our names.

Nas is on the run. And look at the comparison on how she responds to this man messing up her and her friends names versus how Incy reacted to the cabbie. Nas finds it humorous. Incy broke a man’s back. Just because the doorman here is kinder than the cabbie and the fact that Incy was probably very drunk accounts for little or nothing. Nas may be a chronic partier who’s done her fair share of bad things, but she’s nothing like Incy’s level of bad.

“Here you are, Ms. Douglas,” said the clerk, handing over a set of keys. “And how do you say your name?”

“Phillipa,” I answered. Like every immortal, I have a bunch of different passports and IDs and driver’s licenses. Someone always has a friend who knows someone who can get what we need.

Okay so until Nas’s name changes again, because I know it will, she is Phillipa for now. This also explains a little more about what being an immortal is like: you need fake stuff because you’re old and suspecious otherwise. No doubt you also have to change countries or pretend to die.

The rental-car people could have plotted the course to West Lowing for me, but then they might have remembered doing it, if anyone asked them later. And right now I just wanted to disappear. I felt like - like the devil was after me. Like I was being swallowed up in a disaster or something and had to get far away.

Phillipa is headed for West Lowing, Massachusetts. Its near a bunch of other places also named Lowing, such as Lowing Lake and Lowing River. She’s hoping to get lost there, and going through an awful lot of effort to get lost, but its such as specific place that she’s clearly hoping to find something there. And given she apparently needs a map to get there, its not a place she’s been before.

So, the whole immortal thing. You must have questions. I don’t have all the answers.

World-building. Immortals have been around for such a long time that no one knows where they really came from. Like their name suggests, they don’t really die. They can have kids and partners, although unless your partner is also immortal your mortal partner and children will die. Mortal children of an immortal live longer than other mortals. Immortals age differently (one year = one year then one year = 100 human years). Phillipa is 460 years old, born in the year 1551. Immortals don’t get life-long illnesses or more fatal illnesses like cancer or diabetes. They do get colds and the plague. They live their lives like mortal people do, some party and others learn.

I didn’t even know what I was looking for. A sign? Either a literal sign, like RIVER’S EDGE, TURN LEFT, or a metaphorical sign, like a burning bush or something, a bolt of lightning point me in the right direction.

Phillipa is looking for a place called River’s Edge. She can’t find it so she uses a spell to find it. She also remembers how she learned about this place. A woman named River found her and Incy after the two and some mortals (who died unfortunately) were in a car accident in 1929. River told Nastasya (current name, no more Phillipa) who was then Christiane that she could be more, have more, than she currently did if she went to River’s Edge. River and Nastasya had immediately recognized each other as immortals, in a similar way that gay people can recognize each other, but also in a way that provides much more certainty. Nastasya refused so River left, leaving Nas with an open invitation. Nas and Incy hitched a ride sometime later. Nas has now hit a low enough point where she is seeking out River. It’s been eighty years and no guarentee that River is still there.

Nas eventually finds the long winding road to River’s Edge.

There was a tap on the window of my car, and I jumped, barely able to stifle a scream.

My frantic eyes focused, and the man leaned down to look at me.

This lovely man is an immortal too and he also lives at River’s Edge. He is apparently very handsome, a Viking god as Nas puts it. He is somewhat familiar to her, but she isn’t sure how as she can’t remember how she knows him. She recognizes him as another kind of immortal. There are two kinds. The kind that take their power from the life around them and then the kind that don’t.

The chapter ends with this reveal and the confirmation that River is still there.

[annie-rereads]

Annie Rereads Immortal Beloved by Cate Tiernan

Immortal Beloved Chapter 1

The point of this reread, alongside any following rereads that I may do, is to catalog my reactions to stories and the observations I made upon rereading them, and to share those with anyone who reads this post.

I have read this book mulitple times and the two that follow. The main character, Nas, and her journey of growth throughout the story is something that I admire. This tale of self-discovery, love, and healing is something that I haven’t found in many other books and I find that its a realistic take on the journey to change.

Last night my whole world came tumbling down. Now I’m running scared.

If there’s anything I love, it’s bookends. The first chapter begins and ends with the same lines.

But Boz was by no means a normal person: He was prettier than most, louder than most, funner than most, and, God knew, dumber than most.

I never noticed before reading the book a second time that Nas takes a bit to tell us that her and her friends are immortal.

His face was cold with fury, and he looked more awake than I’d thought.

I like how, upon rereading the series, little things like this feel very chilling. Neither Nas nor I had any idea what was coming or what Innocencio would do.

... and suddenly Incy muttered something and snapped his hand open.

I had a split second to think, Huh, and then the cab driver staggered as if struck with an axe.

Our first introduction with the magick of this universe and it is terrifying. Not only do we as a reader not know what exactly what is happening, although it’s easy to gather that it is magic, powerful magic, but this is such a cruel act to introduce us to the concept. It definitely provides a reason for Nas to be running scared, but the situation somehow gets worse from here.

A wave of nausa and fatigue overcame me - maybe I’d had more to drink than I thought.

Reading this for a first time, this line just struck me as Nas feeling incredible shock at what was happening, or, as she reasons, she’s just that drunk. Upon a reread, knowing that Incy had access to Nas’s power and how use of that power negatively effected her, turns this into a small bit of foreshadowing of those things.

With a loud, horrible cracking sound, the cabbie bucked upward, once, his mouth opening in a scream he was unable to voice.

Again I felt a wave of nausea, saw a gray film pass over my eyes. I blinked several times, reaching out for Cicely’s arm. She chuckled as I staggered, obviously blaming drink. A few moments later my vision cleared, and I straightened up, staring at Incy, at the cabbie. “Now what? What’d you do?”

Nas’s physical reaction to Incy breaking the cabbie’s back could be another bit of foreshadowing. It also clearly demonstrates the shock she is no doubt feeling, as the disbelief leaves her and the reality sets in. 

“Incy,” I said, take aback that the others were just leaving. ‘Incy - did you - break his back, with magick? Where’d you learn how to do something like that No - you didn’t. Right?”

Incy looked at me then, half-amused expression on his unearthly, darkly hansome face.

Nas expresses disbelief that her friends are just leaving after what has just occured, something she does as well sadly. This moment shows the eventual growing divide between Nas and Incy. While Nas is willing to party and maybe even use people at times, she wouldn’t hurt them permantly. She certainly wouldn’t enjoy it. Incy, though, has no such problems. Nas describes it as Incy having enjoyed breaking the cabbie’s back, something we learn later is very permanent. Incy also outright avoids Nas’s requests to fix the man’s back. It is possible that he’s telling the truth, that it can’t be undone, however upon learning more about Incy’s personality, I’m more inclined to believe that he simply wants to know how to cause harm and nothing else.

His fingers pushed into my short black hair, and with a sudden shock I felt an unexpected warm breeze on my neck.

Nas gives in to the oppertunity to ignore what just happened. She follows the rest of her friend group and continues to party, despite being plagued by the memory of the cabbie the entire time. Here she is, making out with someone, and we learn something else about her, other than her flimsy sense of right, wrong, and appropriate reactions: that there’s something she’s trying to hide and its on her neck. It takes some time to find out what it she’s hiding and even longer to discover what its something Incy would be interested it (and interested he is even if he walks away now).

The good thing about being immortal is that you can’t literally drink yourself to death, as frat boys can. The bad thing about being immortal is that you can’t literally drink yourself to death, so you wake up the next morning, or maybe the day after that, and you feel everything you would be spared feeling if only you’d been lucky enough to die.

I love Nas’s snark, sass, and sarcasm. The way she talks is so human, realistic to things a person might actually say. Despite the seriousness of the rest of the chapter, I gave a chuckle at these lines. Also despite never having been drunk myself, I feel this scene is an accurate portrayal of what that might be like.

At least it wasn’t raining, I thought, and then it all flowed back into my brain, against my will: the night before, everything we’d done, the rain, the knife fight, falling on the sidewalk, Incy breaking that cabbie’s spine, me almost losing my scarf in that club, in front of everyone.

Nas sneaks off from her party-buddy from the night before and is hit almost immediately with the memories she’d been trying to suppress. This brings us full circle back to her narration of what scared her so badly, which had been the hook at the beginning of the story. We too are forced to think about what had happened, the questions that Nas asks herself are ones that I asked myself too.

Nas also shows awareness of what horrible part she’d played, asking herself how she could have done that, and that’s the inciting incident that leads to her future growth. She’s at a very low point now and she’ll go through worse, but in the end she comes out on top.

I’d been obsessive about keeping my neck covered at all times for the last 499 years, and all at once, one night, that effort had been shot. Would Incy know the significance of what he’d seen? How could he? No one did. No one who was still alive.

Nas gives us some lovely nuggets of interest about herself. Earlier it was shown that she’d been hiding her neck and that hiding it was very important to her. Now we know that she’s been doing that for a very long time and that whatever she’s hiding is also very important. Important and anyone who would know what it means is seemingly dead.

Last night my whole world came tumbling down. Now I’m running scared.

Bookends!