annoying-unicorn-blog1 - Tumblr blog

[annoying-unicorn-blog1]

Dear J,  I don't know how to start this but right now, my heart feels heavy. I just wanna hug you and tell me it’s going to be alright. I miss you even when I’m with you. :( 

[annoying-unicorn-blog1]

Been crying a lot these past few days. It seems like wala na akong ginagawang tama. I felt like im so left behind. Parang every week may dinadamdam ako na di ko alam kung ka emehan na lang ba or ano di ko na alam kung hanggang kelan ako magiging ganito tangina pati mga taong wala naman ginagawa (literally and figuratively saying lol) naapektuhan ko. I'm self sabotaging. Bakit? Hindi ko alam. I wanna quit my current job. Bakit? Di ako masaya. Since WAH ako feeling ko lahat sa site di ako bati hahahaha feeling ko wala na kong kaibigan feeling ko mag isa ako. I supposedly have sum1 pero yeah he's busy and if ever naman na hanapin ko siya feeling ako ang needy ko and all like di naman ako ganito dati. Nalagpasan ko na to pero paramg andito nanaman ako sa stage na to. WHY????? gusto ko lang naman maging masaya.

[annoying-unicorn-blog1]

one of the biggest things i believe to be true about relationships is that you must make it feel safe for the people you love to call you out on shit. like obviously don’t let anyone emotionally manipulate or terrorize you but in general, in healthy adult relationships, there is always a pattern of rupture/repair. someone does something (unintentionally!) that makes someone else feel not great, and it needs to be addressed. the best thing you can do to preserve and improve your interpersonal relationships is to be open to these conversations. you have to be able to hear how your words or actions have affected someone, even if it absolutely wasn’t your intention, and you have to be able to simply acknowledge and apologize. it doesn’t matter if you didn’t see it that way. someone you love did, and they care enough to tell you, and that’s a gift. be grateful for the opportunity to do better.

[annoying-unicorn-blog1]

I'm jealous of everyone who knows where they want to go in life.

It pressures me seeing them almost in the Finish Line of their journey while I am still in discovering myself phase. I am happy for them really, it's just that, while thinking about it, I feel like I'm a big disappointment.

So many plans in my head, but none of those I'm confident to win. Every day, I was doing the same as yesterday. No matter how I work hard every single day to reach my dreams, I still lost along the way. It's like there's a fog that keeps blurring my vision. Somewhat like I am stuck in the middle of nowhere. I had nowhere to go at this state.

I don't know if I'm still doing well. Today, feel like I am in the midst of choosing between taking one step at a time or rushing because I'm running out of time.

And I hate it, because I started to think that maybe I am not capable.