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havana rose liu x the gotham awards 2023
#[ 𝟎𝟑 ] ── ♱ 𝐌𝐈𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑 // 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 .#i did one reply and im exhausted dfkjfdkjfd#EMBARASSING#ill be on again tomorrow i promise pls accept this cutie as an apology dfhdfk
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[ ♱ ] : A POLITE AMUSEMENT coats the laughter that spills from her lips at mariana's quip about the beans. "it's not so bad." deirdre tries, slender fingers running through the ends of her hair mindlessly. “boring but someone's gotta do it right?” if they have any hope of maintaining what little society they have left, mundane tasks like that might be pivotal. the last thing they need is a system where it's a free for all. "i don't have any tuna." she admits, brows furrowing in thought. the two were not close by any means ( in fact, this might be the longest they've ever spoken ) but deirdre finds herself wanting to help, or rather, she finds herself wanting mariana to like her. especially now that they are stuck in the same house with one another until the foreseeable future. "— but hey, if you're craving seafood, maybe you would be down to check out the lake with me sometime?" she asks, head canting slightly in question, the corners of her lips lifting into a small smile. "i'm not the best fisher or anything but my dad was — IS really into it." countless dinners where deirdre had to sit through him retelling the story of one of his many 'catches', as if fishing wasn't the most boring past time in the word. her smile falters at the memory that washes over her, because it comes with the bitter reminder that she may never get to hear her father's voice again. it's an odd feeling to be stuck on the border between hope and mourning, unsure of which one would throw her into more of a spiral. "so i uh, i know a couple of things. i bet you we could borrow some of his gear and go catch something. unless . . . the fish decided to MYSTERIOUSLY DISSAPEAR too." and if they did, then that means their protein options are that much more limited. "i don't know. it's worth checking out, don't you think?"
mariana blinked, her expression shifting between confusion and mild annoyance. she’d been caught off guard, again, and as much as she tried to hide it, it irritated her more than it should have... what made it worse was the fact that deirdre, was that even her name?, stood there so calm and composed, like this was just another day and not the slow, grinding collapse of humanity. "oh right…" she muttered, finally giving the brunette her full attention. "inventory ... how’s that working out for you? i mean, between the beans and, oh, the other beans, i'm sure the options are just endless." she instinctually rolled her eyes and crouched back down to sift through the crate again, she didn’t know much about deirdre, other than vague memories of seeing her at town events or around school, always one of those people who seemed too put together. the kind with the perfect family and perfect life, while mariana was lucky if she made it to school on time. "i'm trying to find tuna," she added without looking up, her voice muffled as she dug deeper. "unless that's in your stash, i'm not too sure you can help me, roomie." the word dripped with disdain, and she immediately regretted saying it, not because it wasn’t deserved, but because it made her irritation more obvious than she wanted.
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HELEN SHIVERS and JULIE JAMES in I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1997)
#[ 𝟎𝟓 ] ── ♱ 𝐖𝐂 // 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 .#give me a falling out omg let me write some ANGST#pleaaaaseeeeeeee
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@buckshct
#[ 𝟎𝟐 ] ── ♱ 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 // 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 .#* 𝑓𝑡. 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐲#the difference in aesthetics alone hdjfhfhfh
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◦ 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑 . . . nicolas ! @havntds
◦ 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 . . . the wu residence !

[ ♱ ] : THERES A KNOT in her stomach that formed the moment she realized she had to go back home. with only the suitcase she had packed for the weekend trip to bring to the martinez ranch, she was finding herself poorly equipped�� to brave the colder northhaven months... but there was a vulnerability to going back home, one that made it difficult for her to make the trip on her own. yet, at the same time, she couldn't bring just ANYONE. nico was a natural choice—the most comfortable one—and while his presence was enough to ease the churning of her stomach as they pull up to the house, there's still a hesitation that takes over her when they reach the front door. a hand hovers over the doorknob for a second too long, before retreating, falling useless by her side. “sorry,” she says, a quiet tremor in her voice. “i know this is dumb, i just…” she takes a step back, a breath catching at the base of her throat. she looks away, her eyes landing on the flowerpot by the door. chrysanthemums. her mother’s favorite. "...it's too weird, nico. i don't know. i don't think i can take it."
an empty house. the reminder that her family is gone. that she may never have the sight of her mother welcoming her home, or her father saying grace at the dinner table, or her brother asking her to go watch a movie with him. nothing. they're GONE. a new reality she's not ready to fully face quite yet. "i just need to get to my room." she turns back to him, a faint glisten in her now pleading eyes. "what if we like, broke in? is that crazy?" considering it was on the second floor? yes. "i think the shed has a ladder we could use?"
#[ 𝟎𝟏 ] ── ♱ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 // 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 .#* 𝑓𝑡. 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢#can u believe its our first thread together#and i almost made her cry#thats show business baby#using my last braincells for the evening to write this so if it doesnt make sense... forgive me dfhjfdjhdf
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◦ 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑 . . . greyson ! @laughtrxck
◦ 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 . . . northview skate park !

[ ♱ ] : LEARNING HOW TO SKATEBOARD was something she had never quite considered before all of this. it was greyson's offer to teach her, to get her mind off things, that gave her the courage to try. a kindness that felt too sweet to refuse— wrapped in his signature toothy grin and delivered with an exuberance known to attract so many to his presence. herself included. that, and the fact that there was no ‘thou shall not ollie’ commandment for her to hide behind.
so there they were, in the eerily empty skatepark, the air thick with a silence that still felt awfully unnatural. two figures who have rarely shared moments alone together embarking on what could be a wholesome experience… or a trip to the infirmary. the nerves were certainly there, evident by the way her fingers fumble against the strap of her helmet, widened gaze darting between greyson and one of the intimidating half pipes. “i hope you’re not expecting me to go down THAT—“ she gestures towards it, “—unless you're like, ready for me to throw my newfound dream of becoming the next tony hawk away.” her words are light, lips tugging into a teasing smile. despite her reluctance, there is something surprisingly nice about finding some normalcy in their situation. she wonders if he feels the same or if maybe this is just one of his many co-mayor duties he feels he has to fulfill. “are you sure about this?" she can't help but ask, voice softening despite her best efforts. "i'm sure you must be super busy with... you know, EVERYTHING.”
#[ 𝟎𝟏 ] ── ♱ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 // 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 .#* 𝑓𝑡. 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚#this is the part where i tell you that i suck at starters and i tricked you and you were a fool to fall for my starter call trap card—#no but seriously if theres anything youd like me to change lmk ok pookie muwah
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[ ♱ ] : DEIRDRE NEEDED THINGS TO DO. projects for her to get her mind off everything. counting what was left of the general store seemed as good use of her time as any. she had been in the backroom of the store for the better part of the hour, digging through each can, and labeling them based on their expiration dates. a tedious task, boring and unamusing in every which way… but it was still better than being left to her own thoughts. deirdre is heading out to count what is on the actual floor of the shop when she spots a vaguely familiar figure in the aisles. it's not her intention to linger but it does admittedly take deirdre a little too long for her to decide whether she should great the younger woman or wait until they inevitably see each other back at the house. she remembers seeing her at the ‘TOWN MEETING’. the two made eye contact when it was decided they were going to share a house together and now, they're making eye contact once more— expressive brown eyes meeting an apologetic green, "oh! sorry— i didn't mean to like, scare you or anything." her hands wave weakly, as if to dismiss the notion. "i was just.. um, were you hoping to find something specific? i'm actually on inventory duty." she juts her thumbs out in the direction of the back door. "there's not much left but i found some more cans in the back if you want to snatch something up." a smile then, features melting into her usual friendly expression, warm and ‘effortless’. “looks like you and i are gonna get to be roomies for a while, right?”
who : mariana + anyone. where : cypress general store status : [ open ]
the shelves of cypress general store were a skeleton of what they once were … half empty rows of canned goods, and a few dusty flashlights no one had thought to grab yet. "beans, beans, beans," mari muttered under her breath, holding up a can of pork stew with a grimace. "this is it? seriously?" she groaned, louder than anticipated. "i'm supposed to survive on this?" the crate rattled as she dug deeper, her frustration bubbling over. she didn’t even know why she cared so much, eating pescatarian felt like a silly hill to die on in, well, wherever the hell she was. but then again the thought of canned meat turned her stomach. as she reached for another dented tin, a faint creak from the floorboards made her freeze. slowly, she looked up, her pulse skipping when she spotted a shadow looming over her. "god— are you crazy? ring a bell or something, don't just sneak up on people."
#[ 𝟎𝟏 ] ── ♱ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 // 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 .#* 𝑓𝑡. 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬#made some assumptions i hope thats ok <3#pls lmk if not ofc#hope this makes sense im going to bed rn sdjhsjdsjsd
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FLEABAG | 1.03
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[ ♱ ] : NEON CACTUS SALOON was not the type of establishment deirdre tended to frequent. she could probably count the amount of times she had stepped there in one hand—always under someone else's invitation, of course, one that rarely gets repeated when they realize how bad she is at darts plus her the look of surprise when they order more than one alcoholic beverage. while the entire town was frozen mysteriously in place, there was something particularly EERIE about the west side. the bustling streets now overtaken by an empty stillness, save for the carousel that seemed to still run on some sort of schedule. or at least that's what deirdre would like to think. the alternative theory—that the carousel was a bridge to the other side, where everyone else is—was something even deirdre wasn’t desperate enough to consider. yet.
the bar was a good enough place as any to look for clues. search for abnormalities ( outside of the glaringly obvious ), maybe a note left behind... anything that could explain WHAT HAPPENED to stonehaven. what deirdre doesn't expect to find is tristyn, standing behind the bar as if he owns the place, shameless in the way he can't even pretend to offer a lie about his actions. she furrows her bow at him. "you shouldn't be doing that." a phrase that has spilled past her lips only to uselessly land in his ears more times than either of them would care to admit. she doesn't move to close the distance between her and her cousin. instead, she follows the wall over to where the pool tables are, trying to suppress the shiver that threatens to crawl up her spine at the way the billiard balls are positioned... as if someone was in the middle of a game. she turns towards him once more, "seriously, tristyn. shouldn't you at least... leave money behind or something? i mean... what if they come BACK?" it's only been a couple of days. and while it seems that most of her peers have accepted the fact that they were stranded, deirdre couldn't help but hold out HOPE. as ridiculous as that may sound.
location ﹕ neon cactus saloon status ﹕ open to anyone.
* he can easily recall fragments of his recent memories in the bar, the once bustling vessel reduced to less than a fraction of what it previously was ﹕there is no more chatter and live music to be heard, only the constant droning of an electrical buzz insisting to be heard in the foreground. he is alone. no longer graced with the warm presence of a smiling face behind the bar, a chatty regular who relentlessly babbles about a story from their youth, none of the familiarity he's become accustomed to in the past year to be found. only ounces of alcohol left abandoned without a second thought. as beautiful as it may be, the warm rustic design he's grown to love offers nothing to the atmosphere when he's faced with the existential dread of loneliness. bars are supposed to be SOCIAL places! and that's made evident by the half-finished glasses of cocktails left scattered across the bar top, the ghostly reminder of the previous guests, guests who have strangely disappeared ━ leaving tristyn to soak in their absence. but it's not so bad. there's something that makes up for the freakishness of it all. free booze. he realizes that as he tentatively snakes his hand around the neck of a nearly full jack daniel's bottle, left discarded and barren on the shelf behind the bar. he instinctively wets his bottom lip as if he holds the world's most prized possession beneath his fingertips. not like stealing from his favorite bar is the GREATEST idea, but who's really around to stop him? no one, is what he'd believe, if not for the faint rustle to be heard from the other side of the bar. he was so close. if he had any ounce of shame if things were normal, this all would be embarrassing … at the first sight of apocalypse, he's off to steal liquor. typical? his head whips around, attention turning from the shelf onto whoever seemed to have caught him in the act. ❛ whatever you THINK is happening … probably is. ❜
#[ 𝟎𝟏 ] ── ♱ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 // 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 .#* 𝑓𝑡. 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐲#miss girl still being lowkey in denial dskjdhjd#i tried to shorten this ok i promise
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( havana rose liu. cisfemale. she/her. ) did you hear ? DEIRDRE WU is stuck in stonehaven for the foreseeable future … they've lived here for TEN YEARS and are known around town as THE PURITANICAL, though back in high school they were better known for being voted MOST LIKELY TO MARRY FIRST. if i'm not mistaken, they’re a TWENTY FOUR year old senior studying PUBLIC RELATIONS ( i really hope that translates well into their role as an ARCHIVIST in the ‘new world' ). according to my records they were originally on the trip because it was a part of her public image — which checks out, given they’re INSIGHTFUL, ZEALOUS and SECRETIVE. if you’re ever trying to find them, your best bet is to start at cedarfield church and listen for someone humming i say a little prayer by aretha franklin. oh, and don’t forget to try calling out DEE/DEIR or picturing worn out church pews, diaries hidden under floorboards with words better left unsaid, hands smoothing over a cotton white dress, for extra help.

THREADS. MUSINGS. MIRROR. EDITS. PLAYLIST. PINTEREST. WANTED.
A STUDY IN . . . the preachers daughter, prioritizing community over individualism, the belief that love is conditional, doomed to play the part of the girl next door, slowly becoming your mother, looking for signs everywhere, knowing who you are but being afraid to express it.
♱ BASICS
full name. deirdre wu.
nicknames. dee, deir, didi.
age. 24.
race. white & chinese.
nationality. american.
birthday. october 23rd
zodiac. libra
gender. cisfemale
pronouns. ( she / her )
sexual orientation. closeted bisexual.
birthplace. lakeland, florida
major. public relations – a field her parents approved of because it combined communication with service
♱ FAMILY
father : arthur wu ── there are times where it's hard for deirdre to identify where 'father wu' ends and where 'dad' begins. he offers advice to her like he's giving a sermon and she asks for it like she’s giving a confession. he could go on for hours about how these are 'godless times'. everyone says she has her father's eyes but she can't remember the time she's been able to look at them without feeling shame. like her very existence is something to repent for. deirdre thinks his laugh is infectious ( when genuine ) and she likes it when he hums hymns to himself. a disciplinarian with a musical inclination. he taught her how to play every instrument he knew.. they used to stay after sunday service and make up songs on the church’s pipe organ. always wonders why he didn’t pursue a career in music.
mother : rebecca ‘becky boone’ wu ── deirdre's loudest cheerleader and her harshest critic. her father is critical of how she should act, while rebecca tends to nitpick how deirdre should look. has a habit of making unsolicited comments about her outfits, the way she does her hair, whatever jewelry she is wearing... master guilt-tripper. makes the best chicken and dumpling soup. deirdre has always been a mama's girl. rebecca homeschooled her and her brother through their elementary school years. her superhero. as a child she used to sit on her parent's bed, drape herself over the footer, and watch her mom do her makeup with utmost precision only to turn around and ask dee what she thought of it. the answer is always the same— ‘you look beautiful, mom’
younger sibling : tobias wu ── he is her favorite now but that wasn't always the case. for the first years of his life, he was the object of her resentment. it was so obvious their parents always wanted a boy. she used to watch their mother tend to him from afar, quick to shake her head when encouraged to step closer. she would cast her gaze downwards whenever her father spoke about the excitement of raising a son, lip jutting out and small hands turning to fists in a silent tantrum. deirdre wished he would disappear. those feelings lingered until he was old enough to babble his first word -- "didi". one word was all it took for her older sister's instincts to kick in. whenever she has extra money from tutoring, she liked taking him around town ( usually behind their parent's back )
cousins : the buckleys ── family on her mother's side, a reminder that she was once a child too. visits to their trailer park in wauchula were routine, days spent uselessly trailing behind five rambunctious boys. ‘i’m going to tell!’ was her go-to response to everything. the kids didn’t get along, and fought more often than played. tristyn moving to stonehaven was unexpected and deirdre’s parents encouraged her to be a good influence on him even though he’s older than her and doesn’t appear to like her at all. the feeling is mutual but at the end of the day, blood is thicker than water and for all she knows… tristyn might be the only family she has left.
♱ BACKGROUND
born and raised in the humid warmth of southern florida. when the wu’s found out they were pregnant with their firstborn child, they both decided that the best way to raise her would be through a firm hand. faith was the foundation of their household. her father, a charming preacher, and her mother, a sharp-eyed homemaker, set a rigid example of devotion and discipline from an early age.
deirdre spent her elementary school years homeschooled by her mom in a little commune they shared with some fellow members of the church. academically, it did wonders for her. while other kids took naps and drew pictures in class, deirdre was reading scripture and analyzing holy text. by the time she was enrolled in middle school, deirdre was ahead of her peers in most subjects but there was one fundamental thing that she was far behind on, and that was socializing.
growing up, deirdre struggled making friends because of how indoctrinated she was by her parents' influence. with them pushing for utmost obedience under the lord’s eyes , she couldn’t help but nitpick at the flaws that kids around her had. flaws that she thought would transfer to her like a disease if she wasn't careful. she was usually spotted clinging close to a wall, worlds away from her fellow classmates. it was lonely and even the few kids she did manage to socialize with ( cousins, usually ) didn’t seem too keen on being around her. how judgmental she was. a goody two shoes with a knack for snitching and telling people they're going to hell for the dumbest shit.
the wu’s move to stonehaven just in time for deirdre to enter highschool as a freshman. by then, deirdre had become enough of a loner that all she ever did was watch people. how they socialize. what gets them to laugh. what makes them mad. what gets people to like you. so while she could never remove fully remove herself from the ‘jesus freak’ title, she at least learned how to wield it better. threats of damnation were replaced with wise encouragements.
she joined plenty of clubs– cheerleading, orchestra, student council, beekeeping, anything that would make her integration to town smoother. so over time, she became the type of girl that most people would feel comfortable calling a friend.
UPON RETURNING TO STONEHAVEN…
shock and denial. she still sends her parents text messages. she visits their house and cedarfield church daily, almost as if shes expecting for them to be there one day. panic. prayer has become her anchor. sometimes she's seen clutching at her rosary, whispering desperate pleas into it. investigation and documentation. deirdre has been adamant about scouring around town, looking for any signs. shes been finding herself documenting every clue into a worn-out journal, hoping to make sense of their new life. the role of the archivist came easy to her, and she thinks that if it wasn't for that she might have lost her mind by now.
♱ PERSONALITY
at first glance, deirdre is a lovely girl to be around. always smiling, always willing to give a helping hand or listening ear. never one to yell or say a cruel thing. the type that will remember any little details shared— birthdays, allergies, favorite snacks, etc. always tries to do the right thing and encourages others to do the same. the more you are around her though, the easier it is to notice certain quirks that betray her otherwise pleasant demeanor. how her smile doesn't always reach her eyes, how incessantly she smooths out her hair, the way her eye twitches when something doesn't go her way.
♱ WC
an ex. i have some ideas for this but i would love something silly like they just did it for appearances or maybe they only lasted a couple months cus they were better of as friends, yada yada hmu dont be shy
crush. i also have some ideas for this if anyone is interested but i think it would be extra fun if the crush was unrealized by deirdre or unrequited by the other person/vice versa literally anything
friends. ride or dies! friends from class. unexpected friends. maybe they’re in the same club at school?
ex friends. maybe they were close in high school but they went on different paths. maybe deirdre was too fake for them. maybe they were too wild for her.
antagonists. rule breakers, people who are set on defying authority, people who love pissing deirdre off,
jealousy. someone give me deirdre’s “lacy” hsjfhfj someone who she thinks is just perfect in every which way and it intimidates the hell out of her! this person lives in her head rent free!
experiences from the weekend trip. someone she got in an argument with, someone she shared an unexpected tender moment with, someone who didn’t know she existed until the trip & vice versa, if you're feeling saucy maybe someone she kissed on the trip? oooo someone who had to go on the trip cus her ass snitched on them and that was their punishment fdkjdkjdf
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Lizzie McGuire, Just Friends (S02E18)
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An Encounter with Simone Weil
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havana rose liu by edurdo méndez
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bumper sticker i saw on the way to work
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#ANOINTED . . . a dependent single muse blog for stonehavenfm. written and loved by nuve, 27, she/her, mst.
♱ ⠀ ʾʿ ⠀ links . . . INTRO. THREADS. MUSINGS. MIRROR. EDITS. PLAYLIST. PINTEREST. WANTED.
𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 aka DEIDRE WU!
A STUDY IN . . . the preachers daughter, prioritizing community over individualism, the belief that love is conditional, doomed to play the part of the girl next door, slowly becoming your mother, looking for signs everywhere, knowing who you are but being afraid to express it.
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FALLOUT 1.01 "The End"
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