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anolamiranda · 8 years ago

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Himachal Diary

I boarded the Rajdhani from Bangalore to Delhi 3 years ago. Got off at Nizamuddin station and was petrified with my decision of doing this solo trip. I was looking for a friendly face amidst the chaos. I got into the Delhi metro and sat there in one of the corners wondering what to do now. I had never been to Delhi, I had no clue about the Northern India except for the negative stereotypes. So I sat down with my backpack looking at people getting on and off the trains. Suddenly there was lungi dance playing in one of the coffee day counters. The south Indian in me was doing the pelvic thrusts. That was something familiar to start with. So I decided to get out. I was so freaking scared. I have no clue why. Somehow, I got out of the metro and took a rickshaw to Majnu ka tila.

While I was waiting for my bus to Dharamsala I took a walk along the narrow lanes which smelled of yummy Tibetian food that took me to the mountains almost immediately. I was restless to get to Dharamsala. I overslept my journey and woke up in McLeodganj. To be greeted by beautiful mountains and the smell of positivity in the air as I hired a taxi to go further up to Dharamkot. I thanked the guy and walked further up and found a place to park myself. People up in the mountains are so warm and friendly that made me wonder if city life has turned us foul.

I walked around the area, scanned for things to eat and things to look around. The next day I decided to explore further. Having lived a lifestyle that is not so trek friendly I was focusing on not dying on my short trek to Triund. The landscape kept transforming from one beautiful sight after another taking my breath away. Triund was beautiful even though the weather was unforgiving. As the sun came down the tents were laid and a bonfire lit up. At the horizon I saw the moon rising behind the snow clad mountains on a bed of cloud. The feeling then cannot be explained in words. Something changed in me that night. I have never seen a sight like that in my entire life. Anyway the trek downhill was harder than the trek uphill. My knees has sold themselves to the devil and were just refusing to cooperate. I somehow made it to my room.

People in the mountains are so innocent and content. I watched a lot of Hindi movies in the cafe that I stayed in. Govinda(an Indian actor) is indeed damn cool. Who else can carry off a fluorescent green shirt and a bright orange trousers with such flair and style? One evening as I walked through the deodar forest, I passed by a cute little Tibetan village with my friend Lillian and had a cup of tea looking overlooking the dal lake. Oh my! It was breath-taking.

I then left to Kasol by bus, took another bus to Barseni and then hired a shared cab to Tosh. I was first dropped off at Bhuntar and it was 4:15 am. I was in between nowhere, it was raining heavily and there was no light in sight only the sound of a river flowing behind me. There were a few cabs driving past. I thought this is it, this is the night that I am going to die. I was such a scared little chicken that I was hiding behind a tree so that I do not get noticed just waiting for the sun to come up. Then another bus arrived, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had company. Barseni is a small little village with a few tea shops where people start their hikes from. I chose to chill in a small village called Tosh. The path to Tosh was terrible. It was raining, the whole place seemed like the cows there were lactose intolerant and had explosive diarrhea. There was rain water mixed with dung flowing down the mountain. I made it to the top, it was cloudy and cold. I had no clue what to expect from this place.

The next day I woke up to bright sun glaring at me. I opened the door and stepped outside. I couldn’t believe what I saw in front of me. The sky was clear, there were birds chirping and above all, the majestic snow clad Himalayas radiating that god like aura. I was just speechless and stared at it that entire day. I saw them mountains change colour, I saw the clouds pass by, I watched it rain, I watched it get sunny again. I could do that forever but I went back to Dharamkot after spending a few days in Tosh.

Travel indeed makes you break the stereotype associated to people. During my travel I met really amazing people who taught me a very important lesson that the deepest desire of every human being is to be the best version of themselves. And if you keep your heart and mind open you can see it in every person you meet. People here know so much about life and have many experiences to share. Every day I seemed to learn something new.

I wonder what it is like to live in such places forever, do they miss out on something, or do we? It must be nice to meet so many people, fall in love for a brief moment. This trip was indeed full of romance where I learned to love myself a little more. It was my version of a fairy tale beginning. Everyone should travel solo. Especially Women. Travel induces perspective.

#himachal pradesh #mountains #backpacking #travel #travelsolo #women travel #peace

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anolamiranda · 8 years ago

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Losing my parents, my lessons.

It was the 10th of April 2016, I was standing by my mom’s bed in her hospital room, I leaned over and whispered into her ear, “I am sorry for all that I did to hurt you. Please forgive me mamma”. She opened her eyes wide despite her fading consciousness. She said to me, ‘you’ve never hurt me. You will always be blessed my darling” and slipped back slowly into her semi-conscious state. I sat there watching my mom breathing her last few. The longest 24 hours of my life. The numbers dropped on the device attached to her body that showed her heart beat with every breath she took. As I nervously look at the screen and her breathing got heavier, all that she had ever done for me was flashing right in front of my eyes. She was a good mother, she did all she could for her family. I was being eaten alive by guilt, all that I wasn’t thankful for, all the mean words I had ever said to her, all the times she just wanted me to listen to her story but I had no patience and told her “you are overreacting mamma, you need to get over it” were just haunting me. I wish I could hear her out, one last time. Maybe that could have saved her. While all these things were going on in my head she threw up blood and lay there motionless. She was gone. After a 6 year long battle with cancer and chronic depression, she was finally at peace.

I visited my dad few months later who was diagnosed with oral cancer 2 months before I lost my mum. He was the bravest man I had ever known. He was hopeful that he would recover but I had never seen such a shift in his body language. He was a big man with an upright posture but now he had his arms crossed across his chest and shoulders drooping. He had a hole on his jaw which was oozing pus. He was finding it hard to eat anything solid because his mouth was stiff after radiation and the liquid food would just drain out from that hole. He used to be a foodie. The most I remember my dad was him always munching on something and now it was hard for him to drink a glass of water without spilling it all over himself. He had lost his voice partially, so I could not understand most of the conversations with him. I would just agree with whatever he said just so that he would not feel frustrated about him being unable to express himself. I visited him again two months later. It was as though the left side of his face was eaten away by a hungry animal. The whole of his face was deformed, he could hardly eat or drink anything and had lost 30 kilos of weight. He was in the palliative care where he was receiving end of life care. I don’t think he knew that he was dying, because he only spoke about getting better and going back home.

I stayed with him for 3 months in the palliative care. He was too weak to get out of bed. That is the only time I have seen my dad rest as he has always been a hardworking man. Every day he would say something through his dressing that covered most of his mouth, I assumed they probably were words of wisdom. The only thing I could make sense of what he tried to say was to be good and be happy. He too was realizing the he was not going to make it as he grew weaker by the passing day. On the 15th of January 2016, 10 days after his 70th birthday, he passed away.

I am still devastated by the loss I experienced. I have no words to coherently express my emotions. During my stay there, I watched many people come, most people passed away within a week or two. Of the ones who were there for a bit longer, my conversations were about life. They only wished someone was there by them holding their hand and speak a kind word or two. They were all afraid to die alone. It was the most depressing yet fulfilling time of my life. From this experience I have learnt that nothing is permanent, nothing matters in the end except for the relationships you have. No amount of fame, no amount of money can make you happy. We are here for a while, just for a bit that is. It is shorter than we think. We just have to love and do the things that nourishes our soul and enrich others lives before it is too late.

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#loss #death #parents #dealing #with pain #strength #love #empathy

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