anoncuzwhynot

[anoncuzwhynot]

Posting this cuz someone has to understand: Kyle from bards of New York is incredibly hot. The hair, the glasses, ✨his Smile✨! Augh I’m glad he has a fiancé because if he was single I might lose hope in humanity. Also his laugh?? Literally giving me life. I’m making my way through ballad of the nightmare krew rn and omg I need a moment 😅 if any of the cast sees this no tf you did not thank you

[anoncuzwhynot]

people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets

[anoncuzwhynot]

people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets

[anoncuzwhynot]

No but I actually DO want to talk about it now.

Toph and Aang are so good. They're somewhat spiritually linked, Aang has been spiritual forever and Toph acts like she's not but in her later years literally went to live in the most spiritually powerful place she could, that is also where Aang had a vision of her and where she met Korra AND recognized her as the avatar without even knowing her prior. They recognized each other prior to even knowing each other due to this place.

They're opposites but they're complimentary, Aang is a master airbender but can't let go of his earthly roots that would give him higher power, Toph is a master earthbender who's technique is drastically different from the norm in her time. Aang, a nomad, wanted to stay with his people and craves those bonds while Toph who was supposed to be at home forever craves freedom and travel. Aang grows up loved by a community he later gets isolated from because of his power, while Toph grows in a stifled home that isolates her from the world because of her apparent lack of power and so she hides her actual power.

They're both prodigies, they're both very creative with their elements, enough to become masters at their young age. They're both very wise actually despite being so young. Toph is able to get the anger of mild-tempered Aang and put it to use, she's a massive influence in him overcoming his major character flaw of running away from conflict. Wish I could say the character development is reciprocal, but Toph being able to be more soft with her friends and ask for help is something that's influenced by all the gaang and kickstarted by Iroh.

They're also both bad parents lmao.

Ok I'm getting more into headcannon territory now but by what we see of them in tlok neither of them seem particularly happy in their chores as adults, and actually seem to be under crushing pressure. I don't wanna justify them neglecting their kids but I do wanna say that one they did seem to be crumbling under their responsibilities and two neither of them grew up in a family structure that they could recreate: Aang lived in a community where several adults would take care of several children as their mentors, and while Toph did grow up in a nuclear family it was unhealthy as hell

[anoncuzwhynot]

I feel as though I see this sentiment more, with a lot of ambiguity about whether people are taking it seriously or not, and I should urge fellow autists against it:

We are not really fae folk.

We are not really changelings.

We are not aliens either.

Like, I get it, it's a fun metaphor and thought exercise, and a fascinating look into past neurodivergent culture. I too find the idea intriguing (to an extent). But I legit get concerned that many people are taking it too far and actually trying to seriously identify as "non-human". Maybe this is (ironically enough) me being autistic and taking online jokes as being unironic statements, but it is legit concerning.

This is a dangerous narrative to lean into for autistic culture. Do you know how many eugenicists and ableists there are in the present day who would love to take advantage of a narrative that we don't count as human? Do you know how many charismatic ideologues might realize that the whole esoteric "faery child/supernatural being" aesthetic is ripe ground for starting their own abusive cults, recruiting disadvantaged and neglected autistic people who want to have a supportive community and think they're "too smart" to fall for manipulation tactics like that because they're "independent free spirits"? Do you know how many neglectful parents would love to blame supernatural entities for their child's behaviour so that they don't have to get their child a proper diagnosis and the actual help they need, or that would deflect by saying "my child doesn't need help, he/she's just a special ✨faery child✨"? We already went through the indigo children and vaccine junk, we really don't need yet another supernaturalization/pseudosciencing of autism to set us back further.

We are rational human beings like everyone else, just with unique experiences of life's various stimuli, unique ways of communicating, and unique neural anatomy, all of which means that we sometimes need some support and understanding. And that's how we ought to be treated.

[anoncuzwhynot]

Being neglected by abusive parents feels safe, because it means they’re not actively yelling at you, blaming you for existing, making you feel like shit because you cost money, or beating you. It gives you some space to feel like maybe they’re okay with your existence today, maybe now you can go and build some confidence and live your life, until their next outburst of hatred. So what if you’re going thru crisis and lack survival resources that day, what if you’re feeling lost and dissociated and worried about your future, at least you’re not burdening anyone with that, at least nobody is blaming you for what you’re going thru right now.

The after-effects of being neglected will show after you grow up, and you’re painfully aware that nobody is ever responsible for making you feel okay, for taking care of you, for making sure you’re not in pain. Because nobody ever did care for any of that, and it’s unlikely they’ll ever start caring. So you don’t reach out, you don’t ask for help, you curl up and wait for pain to pass and blame it on yourself that you’re feeling it. You never realize that for vast majority of your life, there were people responsible for making sure you’re not in pain, that you feel safe and have every support you need; your parents. You don’t realize they skipped out on that responsibility because you’re busy being aware of how much worse they could have been to you, and all you can do is try to heal the damage they’ve already done to you. 

Being neglected can make you neglect yourself, because you’ve never been taught that you are someone who is supposed to be nurtured and taken care of.  It can mean eating disorders, self-destructive habits, punishing yourself for struggling, feeling like you’re not allowed to have comfort or company, building the hardest possible life for yourself and blaming yourself for being weak if you’re not able to do it all perfectly. It can mean tolerating friends and partners who also neglect you, and not even notice they should be paying attention and caring for what you’re going thru. It means never believing that things will be alright, because nobody is coming to help, nobody is going to fix anything, unless you do it yourself, alone. And there’s things we can’t fix alone. You are forced to emotionally survive on your own, even though humans aren’t meant to. 

Someone should have prevented this happening to you. Someone should have seen you suffering as a kid, and protected you, shown you that this is unacceptable, you haven’t deserved it, and you are to be nurtured and cared for, until you can relax and know that there’s love for you in this world.

[anoncuzwhynot]

My random unsubstantiated hypothesis of the day: the popularity of "stim" videos, fidget toys, and other things like that is a warning sign that something's Deeply Wrong with our world.

Don't freak out. I am autistic. These things are not bad. However, can we just...take a second to notice how weird it is that there are entire social media accounts full of 10-second videos of things making crunching noises, people squishing slime in their hands, and objects clacking together, and that enjoying them is mainstream and normal?

It seems that nowadays, almost everyone exhibits sensory-seeking behavior, when just a decade ago, the idea of anyone having "sensory needs" was mostly obscure. It is a mainstream Thing to "crave" certain textures or repetitive sounds.

What's even weirder, is that it's not just that "stim" content is mainstream; the way everything on the internet is filmed seems to look more like "stim" content. TikToks frequently have a sensory-detail-oriented style that is highly unusual in older online content, honing in on the tactile, visual and auditory characteristics of whatever it's showing, whether that's an eye shadow palette or a cabin in a forest.

When an "influencer" markets their makeup brand, they film videos that almost...highlight that it's a physical substance that can be smudged and smeared around. Online models don't just wear clothes they're advertising, they run their hands over them and make the fabric swish and ripple.

I think this can be seen as a symptom of something wrong with the physical world we live in. I think that almost everyone is chronically understimulated.

Spending time alone in the forest has convinced me of this. The sensory world of a forest is not only much richer than any indoor environment, it is abundant with the sorts of sensations that people seem to "crave" chronically, and the more I've noticed and specifically focused on this, the more I've noticed that the "modern" human's surroundings are incredibly flat in what they offer to the senses.

First of all, forests are constantly permeated with a very soft wash of background noise that is now often absent in the indoor world. The sound of wind through trees has a physiological effect you can FEEL. It's always been a Thing that people are relaxed by white noise, which leads to us being put at ease by the ambient hum of air conditioning units, refrigerators and fans. But now, technology has become much more silent, and it's not at all out of place to hypothesize that environments without "ambient" white noise are detrimental to us.

Furthermore, a forest's ambience is full of rhythmic and melodic elements, whereas "indoor" sounds are often harsh, flat and irregular.

Secondly: the crunch. This is actually one of the most notably missing aspects of the indoor sensory world. Humans, when given access to crunchable things, will crunch them. And in a forest, crunchy things are everywhere. Bark, twigs and dry leaves have crisp and brittle qualities that only a few man-made objects have, and they are different with every type of plant and tree.

Most humans aren't in a lot of contact with things that are "destroyable" either, things you can toy with and tear to little bits in your hands. I think virtually everyone has restlessly torn up a scrap of paper or split a blade of grass with their thumbnail; it's a cliche. And since fidget toys in classrooms are becoming a subject of debate, I think it pays to remember that the vast majority of your ancestors learned everything they knew with a thousand "fidget toys" within arm's reach.

And there is of course mud, and clay, and dirt, and wet sand. I'm 100% serious, squishing mud and clay is vital to the human brain. Why do you think Play-Doh is such a staple elementary school toy. Why do you think mud is the universal cliche thing kids play in for fun. It's such a common "stim" category for a reason.

I could go on and on. It's insane how unstimulating most environments humans spend time in are. And this definitely contributes to ecological illiteracy, because people aren't prepared to comprehend how detailed the natural world is. There are dozens of species of fireflies in the United States, and thousands of species of moths. If you don't put herbicides on your lawn, there are likely at least 20 species of plant in a single square meter of it. I've counted at least 15 species of grass alone in my yard.

Would it be overreach to suggest that some vital perceptive abilities are just not fully developing in today's human? Like. I had to TEACH myself to be able, literally able, to perceive details of living things that were below a certain size, even though my eyes could detect those details, because I just wasn't accustomed to paying attention to things that small. I think something...happens when almost all the objects you interact with daily are human-made.

The people that think ADHD is caused by kids' brains being exposed to "too much stuff" by Electronic Devices...do not go outside, because spending a few minutes in a natural environment has more stimuli in it than a few hours of That Damn Phone.

A patch of tree bark the size of my phone's screen has more going on than my phone can display. When you start photographing lots of living organisms, you run into the strange and brain-shifting reality that your electronic device literally cannot create and store images big enough to show everything you, in real life, may notice about that organism.

[anoncuzwhynot]

[anoncuzwhynot]

"Trauma changes your brain" well guess what motherfucker I'm changing it back. It's my fucking brain and I'm the one who decides what to do with it.

[anoncuzwhynot]

i dont think people realize how painful it is to constantly live in survival mode. like fight/flight/freeze/etc. is reserved for when you're close to fucking dying. people weren't made to live entire lives in that state. can you imagine the damage that does?

[anoncuzwhynot]

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

[anoncuzwhynot]

I just need someone who understands, who really gets it someone who'll hold me through the worst of it all

[anoncuzwhynot]

[anoncuzwhynot]

As an adult still living with their abusive parent, I often find that affirmations meant to empower me are unhelpful at best. They often feel like they're overstating the amount of agency I have as an adult; I've spent my entire life being abused. It's all I know and I have a lifetime of conditioning and nervous system damage to show for it.

All that doesn't just go away now that I'm older than 18, and neither do the material circumstances that keep me here. Even though I have more legal rights and have grown since I was younger, I am still not in control by the very nature of being the victim in an abusive relationship. So, for those who relate, here are some affirmations that might hit different:

My abuser does not have my best interests in mind, even if they think they do.

I am my own person; my mind and body belong to me.

My feelings are justified, and I deserve to feel and express them.

I am doing what I need to survive, and that is all I need to do.

I am doing my best given the knowledge, resources, and support I have.

I am the only person who can decide what is best for me.

My situation is unfair and wrong. I deserve to be happy and safe.

I do not have to engage in toxic positivity; that will only hurt me.

As long as I am alive, there is something good in this life for me - no matter how small.

I have inherent rights just because I exist.

I shouldn't have to deal with this on my own; I deserve support and protection.

Everything I need is something I deserve. Everything I deserve is something I need.

If any of these don't resonate, feel free to discard them. Everyone finds comfort and empowerment differently.

[anoncuzwhynot]

beau and caleb.

[anoncuzwhynot]

feel free to decide for yourself what you define as "helpful"

pls reblog for a bigger sample size, I'm rly curious about this!

[anoncuzwhynot]

Flashbacks fucking suck and everyone responsible can literally go burn in a microwave