anonymousdisaster

[anonymousdisaster]

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

[anonymousdisaster]

Once upon a summer evening (2023)

[anonymousdisaster]

What ate my brain at 3 am

The doctors call him touch-averse but the truth is he’s starving for it. The truth is he aches for something he’s been taught he cannot have, and that’s nothing new: in another lifetime he was taught he couldn’t have another man’s touch the way he wanted, too.

But when it’s offered he feels his old bones shake so hard the metal in them rattles, and it leaves him shocked and reeling, on the verge of panic when Steve thinks the wrong thing and takes his hand away.

But fuck fear, fuck pain and all its lessons: he wants like a forest fire. With his heart in his throat he catches the retreating wrist and draws Steve’s hand to his cheek. The fingers curl around him and he can breathe again, like he’s been suffocating for decades. He turns his face into the palm because he can’t meet the fragile glass wonder on his friend’s face. Steve takes the hint, finally, and strokes deft fingers through his hair, traces the shell of his ear, the line of his neck.

It’s effervescent. It sings under his skin and lights up his blood, makes his battered heart beat quick. Wetness pricks at his eyes. He lets it gather and fall in silence; the only sound is their breath and the whisper of skin on skin.

[anonymousdisaster]

Why don’t I hear more about undead beings coming back to warn people? It’s always zombies wanting to drag people down to join them in the grave, ghosts seeking vengeance, spirits trying to chase people out of their domains - but if you died horribly and were left rattling around some spooky mansion for eternity, wouldn’t you want to stop people from blundering into the same death you had?

You feel a cold breath on your neck as you get in the car. It won’t leave until you fasten your seatbelt. An unseen force catches your foot as you pass the fourth step every time you walk up the stairs. During a renovation, you find out the wood is rotten. You can never find a pack of cigarettes - even ones guests bring disappear from their pockets and are found weeks later on the lawn, empty. Your daughter is giggling and laughing at something unseen, chasing after it away from the cliffside on your family hike. You don’t know why, but you feel compelled to leave a spare hairband and some stickers on a picnic table as you leave the park. Tribute? A thank you? The items are gone by next time you visit, and you swear a happy child’s hum follows you home on the breeze.

…More preventative hauntings. It just makes sense.

[anonymousdisaster]

God, I can't tell you how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.

[anonymousdisaster]

This is how the golden age of piracy ended.

[anonymousdisaster]

Little Maid Masterlist:

Part 1 - The Banquet

Part 2 - Aftermath

Part 3 - Memories

Part 4 - Gentleness

Part 5 - Midgard

[anonymousdisaster]

Sleepy Tea Recipe 🌙

Are you or a loved one among the many people who have difficulty sleeping? This tea recipe of mine may help!

-ingredients-

• 1 part Chamomile

• 1 part Mugwort

• 2 parts Lemon Balm

• 1/2 part Lavender

Steep in hot water for 15 minutes, strain, then enjoy about an hour before bed as you wind down to prepare for sleep! This blend brings feelings of euphoria and helps you to deeply relax. The Mugwort in this blend can also help you to remember your dreams as well as increase how vivid they are.

⚠️ if pregnant or menstruating, do NOT use Mugwort. Artemisia vulgaris stimulates blood flow that can cause a miscarriage or excessive menstrual bleeding⚠️

[anonymousdisaster]

[anonymousdisaster]

Why don’t you have a filler episode with no real stakes that’s focused more on exploring character relationships than moving any sort of plot along and maybe you’ll feel better

[anonymousdisaster]

It’s INSANE to me how controversial romance novels are. Romance novels. Like, being openly a fan of them immediately opens you up to people constantly coming at you like “but don’t you think it’s ~limiting- and ~juvenile~ to have a genre of books with happy endings for women?”

Like.

No?

Why is it such a big deal to want to read stories where women have sex and then don’t die at the end? Jesus Christ.

Why is the concept of female characters being happy seen as less creative than female characters suffering? (Trust me, creating a world where women win in the end takes a lot more creativity and artistic vision lmfao)

Anyway, literary bros will pry my romance novels with their happy endings from my cold dead fingers.

[anonymousdisaster]

The qualities that divide good children’s literature from bad children’s literature:

1) The dragons are real.

2) The adults don’t believe you.

will elaborate

[anonymousdisaster]

Art Block

I got an art block and I thought to do something about it. We’re friends now! \o/

[anonymousdisaster]

can we weaponize comfort already? 

a lot of places have a culture that valorizes never sleeping and not eating right and not taking breaks and stuff like that. 

fuck that. I want like

look at how comfortable and well rested I am. I am well-nourished, I take bubble baths, and I have a good work-life balance. 

self-care has made me strong. has running yourself into the ground made you strong?

I will destroy you. and then I will have a pleasant lunch.

can we weaponize that?

[anonymousdisaster]

[anonymousdisaster]

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.

[anonymousdisaster]

So when Earth gets its own permanent superstorm like Jupiter’s Great Red Spot and it makes it so the tropics are basically no longer habitable by humans is it going to have one of these random old-person hurricane names

How fucked up would it be if they chose your first name for that storm

Like you’d pretty much have to change it, right? The storm’s not going away and keeping your name would be in pretty poor taste, I’d think